A/N: Thanks so much to all my reviewers! Reviews mean so much to me! Okay, not much else to say here-except that this sort of shifts somewhere from reality to a dream. It's both a memory and a dream-or should I say nightmare...well, hope you enjoy!

Reminder-... /-/-/-/memory;... +-+-+-+past, not a memory;... /-/-+memory and past;... #(anything after)special pov

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha or any of those characters-I own Juzume. That's it. And she isn't even in this chapter. Don't sue.

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Chapter 18-Remember (Disturbed)

Sensation washes over me, I can't describe it...pain I felt so long ago, I don't remember...

"FATHER!" Sesshoumaru searched frantically for his father, scanning the area, trying to see through the smoke and debris.

The scent of blood...

Everywhere. All over the ground, in the air, carried by the very smoke. The scent of burning flesh filled his nose, making him almost choke whenever he took a breath.

"FATHER!" Sesshoumaru blindly pushed forward through the smoldering heap, ignoring the thick scents that threatened to make him pass out, ignoring the sharp sting in his eyes, ignoring the scent of blood...so much blood...it smelled like his father's blood...

"FATHER! FATHER!" he shrieked desperately, his voice growing hoarse. "Come on, Father...stop toying around, it isn't funny..." Sesshoumaru whispered. "It's not funny..."

He's dead. He's really dead. His scent is covered in death. I can smell him, but he's dead. Dead dead dead dead dead dead oh Kami no please he can't be dead yes yes he's dead no no don't tell me he's dead he can't be dead this is FATHER he just doesn't die but he's dead he's really dead he's dead this time and you weren't there to save him you should have been there but what could you do you didn't know he would die but he did and now he's dead and he can't come back he's dead you'll never talk to him again you'll never see him again you'll never get to apologize to him for everything you did he's dead now he's dead dead dead dead dead...

Sesshoumaru fell to his knees, dropping the sword that he had held loosely. He blinked rapidly, trying to clear his eyes, but it was futile. He shook violently, his body wanted to fall over...

"No, Father, you can't be dead..." he sobbed, trying to contain his tears. "You're not dead..."

Stop denying it he's dead why won't you just admit it he couldn't have survived that nobody could survive that he's dead you can smell the death on him but why why did he have to die I never got a chance to say I was sorry I never got a chance to make it up to him I didn't get to tell him that I loved him I didn't get to say goodbye no no this is all wrong he can't die on me now Father you can't die I need you I NEED YOU please don't die on me please I need you Father I need you to be here I need you to be alive I need to tell you that I love you that I'm sorry that I never meant for it to be like this that I love you just like you always loved me please Father come back don't leave me like this I won't make it without you Father please just come back you can't be dead I need you I want to make it up to you I want to tell you I'm sorry I love you please I didn't even get to say goodbye...

"Father..." Sesshoumaru whispered softly, his breath misting in front of him like a tiny cloud.

Something caught his eye, and the demon turned to look as an orb of light drifted slowly upwards, ascending to the heavens quickly. He saw the Tatarrimokke pause to glance at the orb, then dismiss it and move over to call the souls of the children that had once resided at the castle, the boys that had been recruited to defend the place even though they were at the young ages of ten or twelve.

The Tatarrimokke...that was a soul, but it wasn't the soul of a child...the Tatarrimokke is calling souls that means everyone here is dead dead just like...just like Father...that was Father...that was the only soul from the burning building...the only soul that had to be Father...no not him no he can't be dead...

"You're going to be next," a voice snarled angrily. Sesshoumaru whirled around frantically, just in time to see a nightmarish form of a black dragon coming straight for him, only inches from his face, opening it's gaping jaws and trying to swallow him whole...it was the Souunga, he realized in horror.

"My nightmare from so long ago...I remember," he whispered right before his mind froze.

The sound of crushing bone and a horrible pain in his skull, and then blackness took his mind...

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Yeah, I know, it was horrible. Tell me how horrible it was anyways. I'm in a strange mood today-or should I say a strange mood swing. I keep going back and forth. Don't pay too much attention to my mood.

Well anyways, I hope you liked it! Please review! Anything accepted, though unitelligent flames are subject to my temper. You have been warned-but don't let it stop you! I like all reviews! So please, please, PLEASE review!