and the silence makes me lonely
Polite formalities and proper behaviour were his walls against the world outside, but also his rules to live by. He'd grown up in the attic, heard other people through the floor, seen them through the window slats, but never known them.
He watched everyone else and wondered at them. Tsuzuki's openness, Watari's enthusiasm, Wakaba's friendship, Tatsumi's strength -- even Muraki's lust. How did they do it? Where were their rules?
But even at those times when retreat was most tempting, he knew that they were reaching out to him.
And it would have been -- improper -- to turn away.
---