A History of Romance

Year 7: You Don't Have To Say You Love Me

Sirius lied on the futon James' folks had been so kind to buy for him, writing a letter in the dark, aided only by wand light. He paused, his quill poised over, 'Dear Moony,' and chewed his lip nervously, twirled his impossibly long hair, which now reached down to the middle of his back, and listened intently for any pause in James' snoring. He certainly did not want his best friend writing a letter to Remus; he'd been teased enough, thank you very much.

Sirius scratched his head and scribbled away, asking everything from what Remus was planning to do for the few weeks that remained, whether he had gone to the Werewolf Registry yet, seeing as he now was of age, how was the furry little problem, and what had he eaten that day.

'Truth is,' Sirius thought. 'I feel guilty. Haven't written the whole sodding summer. He probably went to the bloody Ministry all alone, and he was defenseless, as they did all sorts of horrible things to him. I'm so stupid!'

He tugged at the strand of hair and paused, quill poised over the parchment.

'Then again, the way we left off ... it wasn't exactly a nice way of saying good-bye. All he did was wave and say god-bye to Prongs, Wormtail, and me. It wasn't exactly what I had in mind! I mean, we weren't going to see one another for a very long time! I'd expect more hugs and kisses.'

Sirius looked down at the parchment and cursed aloud when he saw ink had dripped down from his quill and pooled on the letter as he had been reminiscing.

James' snoring abruptly stopped and he turned over to look down at Sirius from his bed.

"Padfoot, I'm going to say this nicely despite you waking me up at, about, three in the morning. What the sodding hell are you doing?"

Sirius looked down at the parchment dismayed and mumbled, "I was trying to write a letter, but I'll just finish it in the morning."

"Damn right, you'll finish it in the morning, Paddy! Now, go to sleep, and stop that infernal hair-tugging; you do it all the time now, and it makes me nervous!"

Sirius let go of his hair, at last, and stood up to put the roll of parchment, the ink, and quill away. He slumped back onto his futon and lied in the darkness without making a sound.

"Were you writing to dear Moony-moon?" James said, breaking the calm silence with a singsong voice.

Sirius gritted his teeth and muttered, "Shut up, Prongs. You aggravate Evans with your incessant letters and calls on the Tellytone enough."

James sat up. "I do declare an injustice, Padfoot. It's a Fellyphone, and I haven't written to Evans in two weeks!"

"And has Ms. Lily Evans ever responded to any one of your letters?" Sirius asked, and sat up as well.

"No-- not yet," James mumbled quietly. "Anyway, it's not like you're getting anywhere with Moony."

Sirius sighed and put his head on James' bed. "Yeah, but Prongs, look at it this way. Moony is a tremendously sensitive person. If I try anything funny, he may break up with me, or worse, never speak to me again!"

James sighed. "Padfoot, Footpad, Padfoot, he can't break up with you if you're not going out with him!"

Sirius glared at him. "Hey, just because we don't snog in every corner doesn't mean we're not serious!"

James just shook his head. "Listen, Padfoot, have you even held his hand yet?"

Sirius slumped back down onto his futon and pulled the covers over his head. "Shut up, Prongs."

"How far have you gone, anyway? You kissed, I know that much, but you haven't held hands. That's strange. Did you kind of force Moony, or something?"

"I'm not sure if I did or not. I was just caught up in the moment and apparently so was he, so I just went ahead and kissed him. I may have scared him, but it's not like he didn't want it!"

James shrugged and lied back as well. "Well, did he tell you to stop or anything?"

"I guess so, but I didn't really pay attention, Prongs! He didn't sound like he meant it."

"There you go, then. That's the problem. You did scare him, and now he thinks keeping his distance is the best way to play it safe. Moony us kind of shy, too; maybe you should make the first move, see how he responds, and go from there."

Why, thank you, Dr. Love," Sirius said sarcastically.

"Hey!" James sounded offended. "You're the one who asked."

"Touché. You know, you've been giving me advice for a long time now, eh? You're pretty good at this stuff. Makes you wonder ..."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Makes you wonder why Evans won't so much as shoot me a glance. I am pretty good with advice, it's just I get tongue tied around her. I try to sweet talk her, you know how I can sweet talk any broad, but I just end up saying something stupid."

Sirius laughed. "Like you would say, Prongs, you're in love with her, DUH!"

James turned over to face the wall. "Yeah, well, I know that. The problem is how do I get Evans to love me?"

"Well," Sirius began, but James cut him off.

"Rhetorical question, Padfoot! I'm too sleepy to think. G'night," James muttered crossly, and closed his eyes.

"Night, Prongs," Sirius said very quietly, and not another word was spoken throughout the night.

September 1; Hogwarts Express

Sirius paced in the compartment at the back of the Hogwarts Express, the same compartment the four "Marauders" had sat in for the previous five years. James just stared at him walking back and forth, from the window to the sliding door, over and over again.

"Padfoot, for Godric's sake, he'll come! Peter will find him. You don't want to look too anxious, after all. He'll think you're desperate; you'll scare him off."

Sirius sat down on the seat opposite of James and ran a shaking hand through his hair. "D'you think he'll still be into me? What if he's moved on! He didn't reply to my letter, you know."

"Maybe," James said, sitting up and looking very knowledgeable, "You shouldn't have waited a month and a half before sending him a letter. Just a thought, you know."

Sirius twirled a strand of his hair furiously. "Well, that's really your fault! You spent most of your time badgering me about practicing for the Quidditch matches this year; I had time for little else! And, and, I was kind of waiting for him to send me a letter."

"Well, then, there you go. Look sharp, he's coming," James warned Sirius.

Sirius patted his hair down and sat up. He looked out the window, and tried to act "cool."

The door to the compartment slid open and Peter announced. "I found him, no need to worry, Sirius."

Sirius glared at Peter as the mousy boy sat next to him, and willed himself to smile at Remus. The werewolf finished closing the door, turned around, and Sirius' breath caught in his throat, the words died on his tongue immediately.

Remus stood there, smiling, amber eyes warm, but it was his hair that caught Sirius' eye. Every summer previously, Remus would trim his hair before it got too long and wild, but this year he'd just let it grow and the results were astounding. His bangs fell so casually over his eyes, framing his face, and making him look angelic and absolutely adorable, in Sirius' opinion. As Remus walked over to sit next to James, Sirius caught a glimpse of the rest of Remus' hair; it reached past his shoulders, just the right length for tangling your fingers in.

James cleared his throat and shot a meaningful glance at Peter, but it was only after Remus had sat down that Peter understood. He sprang up and squeezed in between Remus and James.

Remus stared at him. "What is it, Peter?"

Peter laughed nervously as his cheeks turned bright pink. "Well, you know, I just want to be near Prongs."

Remus blinked and stood up. "If you say so."

He walked over to his trunk, retrieved a Muggle novel, and sat next to Sirius to read. Sirius twirled his hair, and tapped his foot until Remus looked up. He frowned over to James and Peter, who hadn't talked in all this time, and finally at Sirius, who stopped moving when Remus looked his way.

Sirius grinned nervously. "So, how was your summer, Moony?"

Remus shrugged. "It was okay, I guess."

"Why didn't you reply to Padfoot's letter?" James demanded.

"Well, I was just giving him a taste of his own medicine, really," Remus responded, smiled, and went back to reading his book.

Sirius's heart sank. 'Yeah, I messed up big time.'

"Sorry, Moony. I really am. I'm just an idiot is all. Forgive me?"

Remus didn't look up. "You've been busy; I'm not going to take up your time."

Sirius sat up suddenly. "Moony, what're you trying to imply! I have time for you, I do! Lots of it, dammit! My whole life, Moony, just for you."

Remus looked up, eyebrows raised. "What are you trying to imply?"

"That if you'd give me a chance, I could show you just how much time I have for you. I was just giving you a taste of your own medicine as well!"

"Are you trying to blame this on me?" Remus closed the book; he was serious now.

"I'm trying to blame this on both of us, Moony. I just want you to give me a chance, but to be serious about it. You barely talk to me for two weeks after I kissed you, you still go off with Snivellus for cozy sessions at the library. What am I supposed to do!"

Remus looked down at his book. "Sirius, I was just-- I didn't want to make anything big of it. I just thought we should act the same around each other."

"But doesn't a kiss change anything, Moony? We can't act the same way after a kiss!"

"Why not? I don't want a big change in my life right now, Padfoot. I'm still trying to figure out what I'm supposed to do with my life."

"Then, let me be there figuring it out with you, Moony," Sirius said quietly and took the other's hand.

Remus looked around at James and Peter, a bit embarrassed, and found, to his surprise, that they had left the two alone.

"They left after you closed Macbeth," Sirius informed him, and took the book out of Remus' other hand; he put it out of the way, and took the young man's other hand.

"Moony, are you still afraid? Does my love still scare you? I thought we were past this." Sirius whispered and leaned closer.

"Padfoot, I've been trying to research it, and I've found out a little about werewolves. Sirius, if I should bite you-"

"I'm a dog on the full moon, remember?" Sirius asked, smiling.

"No, Sirius, listen. Even as a human, I can be contagious. I don't know much about salivary contamination and I don't want to risk it. Please, Padfoot, you must understand-"

"Moony, you've got to understand that be that as it may, you being contagious or whatnot, I don't give a flying, feathered fuck. I want to stay with you until the end of time itself, but I need you to want that too."

Remus shook his head and tried to pull his hands away. "It's just like you, Padfoot. Always enjoying the risk. You get off on this, don't you? What could be more dangerous than going out with a werewolf and a male one no less?"

Sirius held on to his firmly. "Moony, it isn't about that! I'm being sincere when I say the only thing I want is your-- to be with you."

Remus studied Sirius' eager, honest face, so much like a puppy begging for a pat on its head.

"You said so yourself, once, there are different levels of lycanthropy. You're nowhere near being a Fenrir Greyback. That bugger looks like a wolf all the time. Perhaps you're not contagious. Or, at least, not that much; maybe it's just on the Pre-Lunar Syndrome week."

Remus' eyes softened as he gazed at Sirius' pleading eyes. They had a stormy edge to them now, slightly darker gray and blue tinted as he begged Remus for just one chance. How easy it was to get lost in his eyes ...

"Your eyes change colors," Remus whispered against Sirius' lips, and it was then he noticed he had been inclining towards Sirius all this time.

Sirius eyes darkened with desire, now the color of ash, and he let go of one of Remus' slender hands to run a hand through Remus' hair.

'Yeah, just the right length,' was Sirius last thought before his lips were crushing Remus' and there was no time to think.

Remus let himself be pushed down onto the seat, not once breaking their connection. He could feel his blood pumping, faster, faster, rushing down and making him dizzy.

'Merlin, Sirius just knows-- and the way he kisses ...'

He wrapped his arms around Sirius' neck and let himself fall deeper into the delicious warmth of Sirius' embrace. Hot hands moved over equally hot skin, stroking, teasing, fingers undid buttons, slowly at first, then quickly as impatience mounted and the two young men fought for more, more contact, more of each other's throbbing, burning, ardent bodies.

Remus was silent, a few pants and gasps escape here and there, as Sirius kissed and ran his hands over his torso. Sirius whispered lustful, incoherent words in his ear; he wasn't loud, didn't have to be, but he wasn't quiet either.

"More, just -- like that, only not-- want to-- hot-- Moony."

But even as he lied there, one hand above his head, the other tangled in Sirius' long hair, shirt unbuttoned and pulled down to expose his vulnerable shoulders, completely drunk with lust and immobilized by Sirius' feather-light touches, the alarm bells managed to clang loud enough in his head to wake him from his dream in time to push Sirius away when the eager boy tried to undo his pants.

"It's," Remus began, when he saw the hurt look on Sirius' face. "I'm sorry. Didn't mean to push you, really. But, Sirius ..."

"Yeah?" Sirius eyes were clearer now, like a cool grayish sky.

Remus put his hands on Sirius' shoulders, and nuzzled his head onto Sirius' neck. "It's just too much, right now; too soon. Please, Padfoot."

Sirius' arms closed around Remus' slender waist and he whispered back, "I can never deny you anything, Moony. I'm sorry, too. I just get caught up in the moment, you know? Seeing you lying there, paralyzed, powerless; I liked it a lot."

"You wanker, I wasn't powerless!" Remus protested.

"You just couldn't move," Sirius teased and received a poke in the ribs from the other boy in response.

"Ow, that hurt, Moony. You and your bony fingers. You've got to eat more, you know."

"Padfoot, you sound like my mum!" Remus said with a little laugh.

Sirius pulled away to look at Remus' face. "That's not a turn-on, then?"

"That's just gross."

Sirius pouted. "C'mon, smile again, Moony. I like seeing you smile."

Remus rolled his eyes. "Speaking of her, my mum pitched a fit when I wouldn't let her cut my hair. But, she let off when I told her I had someone to impress."

Remus smiled mischievously and Sirius gazed at Remus, lovingly watching his amber eyes light up, his bangs falling messily over his eyes.

Sirius smiled back, finally. "I wonder who that could be."

" 'Course my dad showed up and asked me is it was a girl someone or a boy someone. I was going to tell him, but he said, 'Forget it,' and gave me these."

Remus reached into his back pocket and pulled out two little square packages. Sirius took one and studied it, fascinated.

"Oh, these! I hate these. This one says, "Lubricated." Is that all? They sell some behind The Hog's Head; they do all sorts of stuff. Like, enlarge your-"

"Sirius?" Remus asked quietly. "Have you ever-- done anything before? Anything serious, I mean. Like, with girls-- or guys."

Sirius smiled knowingly. "Now, now, don't get jealous."

Remus rolled his eyes. "Just answer."

"I mean, I do get around-"

"Padfoot, tell me."

Sirius lunged at him suddenly, pinned him down to the seat, gave him a small kiss, a lick on the nose, and declared, "No."

Remus wiped the spit of his nose with his shirt, which was still undone, and sighed. "All that for a no?"

Sirius shrugged. "I do have style." He looked around suddenly. "Wait a minute, why aren't James and Peter back?"

Remus looked over at the door. "You don't think ..."

Sirius gritted his teeth and slid the door open, reaching out blindly until his hand closed around the Invisibility Cloak

"JAMES! You were spying on us! You sick freak!" Sirius yelled and gave James a little shove.

"Just for research purposes! Remember, I am head boy, now!" James protested and pulled Peter into the compartment as well.

"Anything off the trolley, dears?" the lady with the cart stuffed full of food asked them. She looked around and her eyes widened slightly when she saw Remus' mussed hair and undone shirt.

Sirius looked around. "Guys, this is the last time we'll be on the train going to Hogwarts. I say, we get a handful of everything!"

James nodded and started choosing candies and pasties with Peter. "You heard him ma'am. It's my treat, so start grabbing."

"What do you mean, "My treat?" It's mine too!" Sirius declared. "My Uncle Alphie died last May, good old man he was. Always like me; he was more of a father to me than my dad was. And, get this, he left the entire contents of his vault to me!"

Remus' eyebrows rose, and he asked amused, "What about Bellatrix, Narcissa, and Andromeda!"

"Not a Sickle! It's all for me, Moony! I'm rich!"

Remus laughed as Sirius did a little "I'm rich," dance. "So, James is Head Boy, and Lily's Head Girl," he mumbled in disbelief.

'This is just too much coincidence. I have a feeling this year isn't going to be anything like any year before,' he thought and took the chocolate frog Sirius handed him.

How right he was, he wouldn't find out until about a week after the start of term. It was a Monday, right after History of Magic, that things took a turn for the worse.

"Moony! Don't go to the library today," Sirius pleaded as they walked behind James and Peter, and put an arm around his waist. "Stay with me, don't go off with Snivellus. You don't do anything in the library, anyway."

Remus shrugged and shifted the books in his arms to one side. "I wasn't going, anyway. Severus and I broke it off."

Sirius managed to spin Remus around and whirled the other into his arms. He tightened his grip on Remus' waist and grinned. "So, last year, you were cheating on me!"

"I wouldn't call it cheating, since you hadn't made it clear we were going out," Remus said with a slight smile.

"Well," Sirius began and gave Remus a quick kiss on the lips. "I am now. Never again must you cheat on me with something awful looking. You're a bombshell, Moony; give yourself some credit."

Remus rolled his eyes and looked around for James. What he found instead were some people gawking at them, eyes wide in disbelief. A few girls in the corner had tears in their eyes.

Remus pulled away from Sirius and walked ahead quickly, while Sirius glared at the few people who dared stare at them.

"Moony, wait up!" Sirius called, and tried to push past a crowd of Slytherin Quidditch players, off to practice.

They shoved him to the wall and snickered. "Famous, rebel, Sirius Black, the ladies' man is a queer! An utter poofter and a fudge-packer!" Evan Rosier announced.

Remus turned around and glanced at Sirius helplessly. He mouthed, 'Don't,' but Sirius drew his wand and glared at Rosier.

"One more word, you, and I'll make you eat your bloody tongue!" Sirius warned him.

"And with good-boy Loopy, no less. I mean, c'mon Black, I can see James, but Loopy!"

The Slytherin team laughed and as Rosier grinned around satisfied, Sirius lunged, wand forgotten, and proceeded to beat the living hell out of him.

The rest of the team jumped into action; they grabbed Sirius' hair and held his arms behind his back. It was then Remus strode over, wand raised.

"Let go of him!" he yelled.

Sirius struggled to get away from Daniel Bulstrode, but the larger boy held fast.

Remus glared at Evan Rosier. "Let him go."

"Or, what you little pansy? Going to cry and tell Dumbledore? That's sick you know, what you let Black do to you. I can't believe you like taking it up the ar-"

With a growl that sounded more like a dog's than a human's, Sirius threw Bulstrode off and lunged at Rosier again. Remus got into the wild and confusing fight as a feral surge of protectiveness rose in him. The entire Slytherin team attacked the two boys, jabbing at them and shooting wild hexes at them. Someone punched Remus and attacked Sirius with two other husky boys, but Remus in turn, wiping his bloody nose with his sleeve, immobilized the three, threw Bulstrode back with a quick 'Relashio' as the enormous oaf reached for a fistful of Sirius beautiful hair, and hurried over to Sirius, who stood up, looking down at the bloody pulp that had been Evan Rosier just moments ago.

Professors McGonagall and Slughorn were there in a second. The two looked from Sirius, who's front was covered in blood and had cuts and bruises on his face, to Remus, who had only a bloody nose, but various burns.

"Why, I have never seen such a display of violence!" McGonagall exclaimed. "Fifty points off Gryffindor! AND the both of you will serve a week's worth of detention with me and Horace."

Sirius crossed his arms. "So it's two weeks in total?"

"No, Mr. Black. You won't be so lucky as to be in the same room with Mr. Lupin. You will serve your detentions in separate rooms, of course. Mr. Lupin, I expected better from you ... this is your last year."

Horace made tut-tutting noises as he looked over the boys. "Off to the Hospital Wing, both of you."

Sirius led the way to the Infirmary, muttering curses at Professor McGonagall, and wishing her at the bottom of the lake.

He finally slowed to a pace where he could walk beside Remus and touched the other's sleeve.

"Hey, are you alright?"

Remus nodded and wiped more blood away with his sleeve as it ran down his lips. Sirius stopped and brushed the smaller one's bangs from his forehead. He noticed Remus had grown a bit, almost reached Sirius' height, so it wasn't too awkward when he leaned in for a quick kiss.

Remus put a hand on Sirius chest and pushed him away, gently. "Sirius, not now. I've got blood all over my lips and it would be disgust-"

Remus paused as he saw Sirius grit teeth in pain. "Padfoot? What's wrong!"

"I dunno! I was fine before, but my side it burning, now! Those wankers must have hexed me after all."

Remus' eyes widened and he put an arm around Sirius' waist, barely touching him, just enough to support him. "We're almost there, Padfoot. Just a little bit more."

Together the two hobbled up to the Infirmary taking the stairs one at a time, both wincing in pain every so often.

Madam Pomfrey had a fit when she saw Remus. She had him lie down immediately and bustled off to grab random bottles off a nearby shelf, completely ignoring Sirius.

Remus protested, "Madam Pomfrey, Sirius is hurt as well. Please, tend to him first."

"Yes, yes, hush now, boy. We'll get to him," was her short, clipped reply.

After that, Remus was strangely silent. His nose was apparently broken, Sirius could gather that much from what Madam Pomfrey kept mumbling, and the burns weren't ordinary, either. They had started to spread, down to his neck and across his shoulders, and had to be treated immediately or the curse would burn a hole right through his skin. Sirius looked over when Madam Pomfrey was finished fixing his Moony up, and found Remus was asleep.

She then turned on him, lips pursed, yet saying very little as she poked and prodded at his side. As it turns out, Evan Rosier had managed to hex Sirius. It was a curse that would slowly break his ribs, one by one. Sirius was given a strong potion that smelled faintly of petroleum and tasted just as bad. He lied onto the pillows as sleep overtook him; that was all he knew for a long time.

"Well, good morning!" James yelled loudly, waking Sirius with a start. He looked around wildly and saw Remus was awake and smiling at him. Sirius smiled back, tried to sit up, and cried out in pain.

"Bloody hell, it hurts more now!" He looked down at his bandages and groaned. "Bet she's doing this on purpose."

James shrugged and handed him a Sugar Quill. "Here me and Wormtail thought you'd gone off to have some time alone. You could've shouted something at us! Or, sent someone to fetch us."

"We would have been there in a jiffy," Wormtail added.

Remus spoke up. "Prongs, I thank you for your concern, but think it was best for us to fight alone. It was our fight, after all."

"Yeah, but I'm, like, your best friend!" James said reproachfully.

Sirius sucked on the Sugar Quill slowly, savoring the sweet taste for a moment before speaking. "Yeah, well, Moony's got a point."

Before James could protest any more, Madam Pomfrey descended on them, shrieking about not disturbing her precious patients, and nearly shoving him and Peter out.

She bustled away, her thin shoes making clacking noises on the marble floor, and left Sirius and Remus in silence.

Minutes dragged by in an uncomfortable quiet. Sirius, finally, spoke up first. "It's just going to get worse, Moony. You know that? There will be more fights."

Remus reached for Sirius' hand and the other boy struggled to take it. The beds weren't too far apart, and they could reach just enough to touch fingertips.

The two smiled at each other and Remus said softly. "Then, I want to be there fighting with you."

Sirius nodded, and with a great effort, reached for his wand.

"Locomotor bed," Sirius muttered and moved Remus' bed right up to his and took Remus' hand.

Moonlight fell over their clasped hands and Sirius rolled onto his side, biting his lip to not cry out in pain.

"Does it hurt, Moony? The burns?"

Remus shrugged. "I've had worse. But, what about you?"

Sirius snorted. "Me? Please, if getting hit over the head with a Bludger last Quidditch match did nothing to me, this is surely less than a scratch."

Remus smiled and Sirius kissed his cheek softly, then kissed his hand.

"Padfoot ..." Remus whispered.

"Moony, I-- I think I ... Well, I'm in love with you- yeah," Sirius finished lamely.

By the light of the pale moon, Sirius saw the faintest pink tint Remus' cheeks.

"Padfoot, well, I-"

"You don't have to say you love me."

"But, Padfoot-"

"I wasn't trying to force you into anything. Sorry, I shouldn't have said anything."

"But, Padfoot, I think I'm in love with you too. I have been since ... well, since you stopped being an enormous idiot and started- you know, trying."

Sirius grinned and leaned in for a kiss, which Remus gladly returned. They side on their sides, close enough to feel each other's breath, and fell asleep with their hands still clasped.

A/N: Bit of a long chapter there. Ah, well, I guess Seventh Year is going to be long as well. But, that's not a bad thing is it? Heh, thanks for reading; please review!