A/N: Well… here I am… with another chapter! Thanks for the reviews!
DISCLAIMER: Only the plot…
Chapter Thirteen: Anna's Forgotten Letter
Summer finally got to bed at three in the morning. Seth had passed out on the couch, so Marissa slept in his old bed. At ten the next morning, Summer woke up to the sounds of talking and laughter in the kitchen. It sounded like old times, but she knew those times had passed long ago, seven years ago to be exact. She stood up and walked out of her room down stairs to the kitchen, pulling her shoulder blade length hair into a ponytail.
"Morning all," smiled Summer, "Sorry for sleeping late."
"Don't panic," said Seth an arm slung around Marissa's waist, "Marissa has only just greeted the morning sunshine herself."
Summer chuckled at Marissa who elbowed Seth in the ribs.
"Bagel Summer?" asked Sandy handing her one, "We have creamed cheese."
Summer snorted, as she remembered the cream cheese incident. She dared a look at Ryan, with a grin but he seemed to have not heard the comment as he was reading the paper with Seth.
"No thanks Sandy," said Summer, slight tone of annoyance in her voice, "Do you have any cereal?"
"Sure, we have Cheerios," said Kirsten, "Will that do?"
Summer nodded and poured herself a bowl of the cereal and added some milk so the cereal it self remained crunchy. She sat at the table and ate in a stony silence.
OC
"Dude, what are you doing?" hissed Seth walking in to the pool house later that day while Marissa, Summer and Kirsten had gone out shopping.
Ryan looked up from unpacking some clothes at Seth and shrugged, "I don't know what you mean."
"Summer! She is trying to be friends with you and you keep on acting like you don't even hear what she is saying… you do know that is something we did back in high school, not as University graduates, adults."
"Things have changed Seth," said Ryan coolly, "She is heart broken over some Steve guy, and look at me, I'm heart broken over her and it has been seven years!"
"Do something about it then. Talk to her Ryan, for all you know there could still be something between you both."
Ryan sighed and shrugged again, "I don't know, man. I don't want to… fall into something that will end again."
"One: Summer is unemployed. I heard her saying to Mum she is going to fly back to New York, pack her things and sell her flat and move back here. Two: Summer keeps looking at you… more so in hopes you will communicate with her or at least acknowledge her. Ryan man… just do something. Don't sit back like the old high school you, brooding with everyone around."
Ryan nodded and collected a bunch of empty garbage bags, "So when is the pre wedding dinner?"
"Tomorrow night, the following is the whole rehearsal thing and then it's the big day… Marissa Cohen… has a ring to it you know?"
Ryan smiled, "Yeah, man. It does. You sure she is the one?"
"Marissa has been the one since we started dating," said Seth seriously, "I just knew it… from the first kiss to the first time. It was just her no matter what."
Ryan nodded, "I know what you mean."
Seth glanced at Ryan as he opened the front door, "Summer or Taylor?"
"Who do you think makes me feel that way?"
"Summer."
"What?"
Ryan and Seth looked away from each other to see Summer walking up the front steps, while Marissa and Kirsten got their own bags from the back of the car.
"Oh nothing," said Seth, "We were just talking about you."
Summer just nodded and let the two men past before walking into the house. She paused and turned to look at Ryan, in slight hopes he would look at her or maybe talk to her. Being around him again was stirring up old High school feelings. Then Steven would invade her mind and they would disappear under the heartache.
She turned and continued up to her room. After unpacking her things she had promised Kirsten to begin looking for journalism jobs.
"Almost done unpacking?" asked Kirsten as Ryan and Seth walked back in.
"Yeah. Most of the boxes can stay packed," replied Ryan.
"We should get going," said Seth to Marissa, "Animals at home that need feeding."
"The dog!" cried Marissa remembering the border collie named Jess that they owned, "Oh poor girl!"
"Well we will see you tomorrow night," said Kirsten hugging and kissing them goodbye, "Bye."
Marissa and Seth waved goodbye and left the house. Ryan's phone began buzzing and he left the kitchen for the pool house talking to his boss about some house designs. Summer came down from her room an hour later, smiling.
"Well a spot is available for a star news reporter in the Newport Times," said Summer, "But… what about making my own magazine? It could be an original thing right from California… about things that affect the world, with real life stories and you know add some star news so it is something everyone can read."
"That's sounds like a good idea," nodded Kirsten, "Will you live around here to do it?"
Summer nodded with a smile, "I didn't realize just how much I missed this place till I came back. I always thought it was the root to my problems… but it wasn't. And moving away… it didn't fix them, time did."
"You had a lot to deal with at such a young age."
Summer nodded and spotted Ryan walking out of the pool house, "He won't talk to me."
"Talk to him then," said Kirsten leaving the kitchen with a coffee and magazine.
"Do you want something to eat?" asked Summer as Ryan entered, "I can make a good chicken salad roll."
"Umm, yeah I guess," shrugged Ryan deciding to sit at the kitchen bench as Summer moved her way through the kitchen finding the needed utensils, "So umm… how was shopping?"
"Fun," smiled Summer looking at Ryan as she found some chicken in the fridge with beetroot, lettuce, tomato, cheese, cucumber and carrot, "I brought some summer gear, along with dresses for the next few nights and shoes."
Ryan nodded, coming to a dead end in the conversation, thankfully Summer come up with something out of the air.
"How is work? You are doing architecture right?"
Ryan nodded, "It's great. We are building a new development lot. Money is rolling in."
"That's great to hear," nodded Summer, "I'm planning on starting my own magazine. I have the financial grounds for it, with my mother's money and Dad's seeing as he died two years ago."
"I could see you doing something like that. Maybe you and Marissa could do it together? She did graphic designing at University and she is looking for work."
"Yeah! I like your thinking, Ryan!"
Ryan smiled for real at Summer with a slight chuckle. Summer grinned at him then they fell into silence with Summer making lunch and Ryan reading the paper and glancing at Summer every few seconds. Summer knew he kept looking at her, but it didn't bother her one bit. She enjoyed it, the way his blue eyes would watch her move about the kitchen, or her hands cut away at the salad ingredients with expertise.
"Did you teach yourself to cook?" asked Ryan after three minutes.
"Yeah. I have never fancied eating takeout every single night. I normally have it once a week… with it being either Thai or Chinese… sometimes Italian and rarely Mexican. The one of mine I love is Roast Chicken, vegetables and chicken gravy. Even I say that is the best meal ever… if it's cooked by me."
"I'll have to try to see if that is the truth."
"Okay," said Summer sliding him his roll, "I'll have this and go out and buy the things needed. You can come with me – we have more catching up to do. Tonight you will experience a Summer Robert's specialty."
OC
Summer and Ryan walked into the local Woolworth's supermarket, with Ryan pushing the trolley and Summer holding a list.
"Okay," said Summer as they walked through the vegetable and fruit section, "Kilo of fresh beans."
They walked over to the fresh, unfrozen beans and Summer grabbed a plastic bag and weighed out one kilo of beans. She tied the bag up and stuck it in the trolley.
"Potatoes washed ones."
"Is that them?" asked Ryan pointing to a pile of creamy-tan coloured odd shaped things.
Summer nodded smiling, "Don't you know what they look like?"
"I don't normally do the shopping and cooking. Taylor always did that."
Summer felt an odd twist in the stomach at the mention of Ryan's ex-girlfriend. She pushed the feeling away, mainly because Steve came zooming into her mind as though warning her any new potential or re-flaming of old relationships could lead to her being hurt all over again.
"Steve left me to do the shopping and cooking all of the time too," admitted Summer as she placed potatoes into a bag, "I enjoyed it sometimes. It was lonely other times though."
"The shopping or the relationship?"
"Okay, I need to get a large sized uncooked chicken," said Summer changing the subject away from relationships, "The frozen section… then some chicken gravy… oh wait carrots."
Ryan just gave Summer an odd look but followed her around with the filling trolley. As they neared the frozen poultry section Ryan heard his name be called out.
He turned around as Summer bent over into the freezer to get a chicken. Walking towards him was none other then Taylor.
"Taylor," said Ryan, not knowing Summer's movements had froze at the name just as she grabbed a chicken to pull out.
"Hi. Doing some shopping I see?" asked Taylor, a basket in her hand with some chocolate, tub of ice-cream and box of tampons inside, "Oh… Summer hi. You and Ryan… shopping… together."
Summer smiled at Taylor and placed the chicken in the trolley beside the beans, "Cold in there."
"I imagine it would be with the time you were in there," joked Ryan, "So Taylor, how are you going?"
"I'm fine," replied Taylor with an edge to her tone. Her hands holding the basket, however were shaking.
Summer frowned looking at her hands and back at Taylor, "Are you really okay? Your hands are shaking. Are you diabetic?"
"No I am not diabetic!" snapped Taylor her tone on the edge of hysteria, "It didn't take you long to come striding in did it? You an your… your… brown hair and doey eyes! I don't know why you broke up, it was obvious for the past seven years he was hung up on you and obviously you still love him as well!"
"Taylor-" started Ryan only to be cut off by Summer.
"I don't love Ryan still, Taylor. We are just friends," replied Summer, "So calm down."
"Calm down?" screamed Taylor startling other shoppers, "Who helped Ryan when you took off to New York? I did! I got him through every single day… and yet till this day he still loves you and not me… he doesn't return my love… and that is what hurts. You stand there not loving him and he loves you… it's wrong and hurts."
Taylor turned and hurried down the aisle leaving a very quiet Summer and Ryan. Summer tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and adjusted her black leather bag on her shoulder.
"Umm," said Summer looking in the trolley, "That's everything. We should get going."
Ryan just nodded. Summer paid for the food and the drive home was silent for most of the way.
"Do you?" said Summer as Ryan turned up the street before the one before the Cohen place.
"Do I what?" asked Ryan.
"Don't play stupid Ryan," said Summer coolly, "Is what Taylor said the truth?"
"Possibly."
"Possibly isn't even an answer."
Ryan flicked the blinker on as they turned up the street, "What difference will my answer make? You said you don't even love me anymore."
They pulled into the Cohen driveway and when the car stopped both got out and walked around to the boot, looking at each other, with a glare.
"So you do?" said Summer her hands on her hips, "You, after seven years, are still in love with me?"
"Yes, Summer. I still love you! But you obviously found it easy to get over me!"
"How would you know?" screamed back Summer, "I only met Steven two years ago! Yeah Ryan too years to yours and Taylor's… five or six! Don't even say you never loved Taylor because to stay with her for that long you must have loved her in some way! I didn't go rushing into anything hoping that would get me over you, I waited five years till I was ready."
"And you loved him?"
"Yes Ryan, I fell in love with Steven, only to have him hurt me. He cheated on me with my boss… for a long time. I was a fool," replied Summer quietly opening the boot of the car and pulling out bags, "But now I know to steer clear of guys. Falling in love only means getting hurt in the long run either through break up or death. Either way it sucks."
Summer turned to head up the stairs but Ryan's comment stopped her.
"It doesn't always suck," he said calmly, "It can be fun and wonderful even through the hard times of when someone dies or when you know the end is coming."
Summer swallowed a lump in her throat before turned her head a little so Ryan could hear her, "That was what love was seven years ago. That time has passed."
OC
Sandy closed his eyes and savored the taste of the perfectly cooked chicken covered in gravy. Kirsten ate hers with a smile while Summer cut up her crunchy, yet fluffy potatoes. Ryan sat quietly eating his.
"Summer… Seth did say this meal was the best and I have to agree with him," said Sandy, "You taught yourself well."
Summer smiled but turned back to her plate stabbing at her chicken. For some reason it tasted rather… not nice tonight.
"Excuse me," said Summer standing and leaving the house to the backyard.
She sat by herself for well over an hour, hearing Sandy, Kirsten and Ryan clean up the kitchen. A cool breeze blew in the Californian air with the moon beaming down on the ocean water. Summer sat on the low fence looking over the ocean with her legs pulled up to her slim body. Her arms had goose bumps on them, as did her legs.
"Here."
Summer looked up to see Kirsten handing her a light blanket. She took it and wrapped it around her arms.
"I also have this," said Kirsten handing Summer a folded letter, "Anna's mother dropped it off a year after you left for New York. She'd finally gotten around to entering Anna's room. She saw this and addressed to you and wanted me to give it too you. I was meant to send it to you but… I just felt I had to give it to you in person. And now I have the chance."
Summer looked at the pink folded letter and Kirsten left. For ten minutes Summer looked at her name written in Anna's neat, cursive writing. Finally, after she saw Ryan walk into his pool house, she unfolded it.
Hey Sum,
Can you believe it? Graduation is only months away, well a fair few months I guess but it is getting closer. You know, when I sit and think about it… it really scares me. You wonder what decisions you are going to make, the mistakes you have made or whether you will even be friends with the people you are friends with still.
All I can put everything the future holds down to is the fact that every choice we make affects the one we make after that and also that mistakes will be made and things will happen that no one even sees coming. All that anyone can do is sit and think about what has happened and maybe they can fix it, or if not, just do what I always say: follow your heart and not what other's say because you, yourself have to be happy.
I know I am droning with boring stuff, but you know how I can get at times Summer! I like to talk this way when I am in the mood. But it is you who has inspired me to see things this way. You have been through a lot in the recent months. You overcame Seth and you breaking up, you and Marissa ending the friendship, your Dad beating on you… but with Ryan you have still managed to find happiness! Summer, don't change in the future. Don't lose sight of who you are and what you want out of life. You are my bestfriend and I adore you for who you are.
Anyway, I cannot wait to begin action: BRING DOWN TAYLOR! It will be hilarious no doubt. Oh I have to go, my grandmother is calling to tell me how Dad is going. See you when I give you this!
Love your bestie,
Anna!
Summer smiled and folded the letter up, Anna's words sinking in. This was written just days before she was killed in that car crash. Summer wiped tears away and looked out at the ocean. Anna had now been dead for close to eight years, a month away from it in fact. Her words were true, the future had already held decisions made, mistakes made and many other things. But had Summer changed? She was more mature no doubt… but she wasn't as open about things anymore. She seemed to close away from people. Ryan once said to her he loved the fact that when things were hard she still turned to him, to people for support. Summer never did that anymore.
Without another word Summer stood and walked over to the pool house, the blanket being dropped beside the pool edge. She knocked on the doorframe and Ryan stepped out from the kitchen area.
"Yeah?" he asked looking at her.
"I am right," said Summer walking in, "Seven years have passed since we last saw each other. And I now know I have changed. I'm not as open anymore and when I hit a hard time I close up… I don't let people help me through it. I'm sorry for that… and that is what I had to tell you."
"You haven't told me anything since you arrived, really," replied Ryan, "What about you and Steve?"
"He reminded me of you," said Summer, finally admitting why she fell for Steven, "I don't know why… but he just did. When I saw him and really thought he was you, that was why I went up to him about to ask what were you doing in New York. But we hit it off, it was like he was everything I wanted. Things stayed that way for about six months."
"Then what?" asked Ryan as they sat down on his bed.
"He changed, just a little at first. But I didn't leave him. We continued dating, he moved in and then every second night he went out drinking. He came home drunk and was abusive at times… but I never kicked him out. I swore to myself that I was in love with him and that's all that mattered. My former land lords, I'd brought my flat by then, they kept telling me to get rid of him… but I didn't and it remained that way for a while until… six or so months ago. He was always out… and now I know it was because he was screwing my boss."
"You were lonely even though you were with Steve," concluded Ryan quietly.
"All because he looked like you," whispered Summer wiping her tears away, "I should get to bed. Big day tomorrow… my dress fitting and the pre wedding dinner."
Summer stood up and headed for the door when Ryan stood up and grabbed her by the shoulder and turned her to face him. Summer looked at him in surprise, her brown eyes wide.
"Why did you remain with Steven, through everything?"
"Because he looks like you," answered Summer, "I told you that."
"But why? You had five years Summer and could have gotten with anyone. Why someone who looks like me?"
Summer shrugged, looking away. Her heart was beating wildly in her chest as Ryan questioned her.
"You do know Summer. Deep inside your heart and mind you know the reason why. Why, Summer?"
"I don't know!" cried Summer looking at Ryan in the eyes, "I'm telling you I don't know."
"You may be telling me Summer, but that doesn't mean you are really telling me the truth."
Summer's breathing became faster and more erratic. She looked at Ryan again and her heart skipped a beat. There it was. There was the answer, something she had spent seven years burying inside of her, way down deep so that she was sure there was no chance it would reach the surface again, but she was wrong. She never once suspected she would be in Newport again, standing close enough to kiss the one who had made her feel something no other human being could make her feel.
"Summer?" said Ryan peering down at her, "Why?"
"Because… because," stammered Summer trying to form the words in her mouth, "BecauseIstillloveyou."
Ryan looked at Summer oddly, "Could you say that more slower?"
Summer took a deep breath and stared Ryan directly in the eyes, "I stayed with Steven because I still love you. I had hidden it away so that I wouldn't have to live everyday missing you and hating myself for running away to New York."
Ryan looked at Summer, rather stunned. He had known it but wasn't expecting it to be so easy. He stepped away from Summer and nodded. Summer looked back at Ryan, waiting for him to say something.
He sat back on his bed and looked up at her, "Seven years."
Summer nodded, "I know. And I am sorry… for everything."
Without another word Summer turned and left the pool house to think alone about the day and night's events.