A/N: THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT! PLEASE READ IT!

Okay, so I have been debating with myself for an eternity over what ending I liked better-one that was angsty, or one that was happy. I couldn't decide. My friends didn't know, or else I forgot to ask them. So, I decided to do...both. There's a split in the middle of this chapter. That's where the chapter ends if you want to read the angsty ending. After the big lines and lots of dots or dashes or whatever, you skip the rest of the chapter and go to the next one.

Now, if you want to read the happy ending, you keep gong after the dots and dashes and whatnot, and skip past the next chpater. The chapter ater the next one is the happy ending one.

So, now that I've said that...please, enjoy the ending of my story. I may decide to do a sequel, but that's not the most likely thing to happen. I kind of like where I left it for both endings, but I might or might not keep going later. Thanks so much to all my wonderful readers and reviewers! You've all been such an inspiration, and a really great help! I hope I live up to everyone's expectations!

THANK YOU EVERYONE!

Reminder-... /-/-/-/memory;... +-+-+-+past, not a memory;... /-/-+memory and past;... #(anything after)special pov

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha or any of the characters, unfortunately. I don't own the songs either. Don't sue me. This disclaimer is here for a reason.

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Chapter 27-Wasted Years (Cold)

Was it life I betrayed for the shape that I'm in-it's not hard to fail, it's not easy to win...

The next morning came in all it's glory, throwing shades of pinks and purples and oranges along the horizon, tinting the sky with light shades of blue as the darker black and the sparkling stars seemed to ebb away into nothingness. Sesshoumaru woke up drowsily and looked about, seeing that everything was the way it should be.

"You're awake," a voice said happily from right next to him. He glanced over to see Rin, already awake, sitting next to him with a small smile on her face. Something seemed to be bothering her though-

And as soon as that thought came, so did his rememberance of everything that had gone on during the past week. He took in a deep breath and fought off a fierce attack of dizziness, his body shaking slightly with the effort.

"Yes, I'm awake," he said as calmly as he could, clsoing his eyes against the sun that had suddenly gotten about ten times brighter.

"Your fever went down," she proclaimed happily. "Do you feel any better?"

"Not really," he admitted. "There's something I have to do, though. Jaken, stay here and protect Rin. Ah-Un, come on," Sesshoumaru forced his eyes open and clambered to his feet a bit unsteadily. He took hold of the reins and got onto the dragon, and Ah-Un obligingly took off, leaping majestically into the air and heading off in the direction Sesshoumaru nudged him towards.

"I hope he finally tells him," Rin whispered as she and Jaken watched him leave.

"I do too, for both thier sakes," Jaken nodded.

Sesshoumaru scanned the ground quickly, looking around for any sign of Inuyasha. Ah-Un flew slowly enough for him to see-or, rather, slowly enough that Sesshoumaru wouldn't get any more sick.

"There they are," Sesshoumaru said, taking a deep breath. "Let's go down, Ah-Un."

Ah-Un dropped steadily lower, landing at the far end of the clearing where Inuyasha and his friends were camping. Sesshoumaru got off a bit shakily, noticing that Inuyasha had already drawn his sword in preparation for a fight.

"What the hell do you want, Sesshoumaru?" Inuyasha growled angrily.

"I'm not here to fight, Inuyasha," Sesshoumaru said coolly, still standing near Ah-Un, his hand tightening ever so slightly on the dragon's mane to keep himself steady as he drove off a wave of dizziness.

"He looks kinda sick," Shippou whispered to Miroku from the background.

"Yes, he does...I wonder what's going on?" Miroku said thoughtfully.

"Inuyasha, we need to talk...in private," Sesshoumaru added carefully.

"Yeah right," Inuyasha growled. "You're just trying to trick me into going along with some little trap of yours! I ain't buyin' it, Sesshoumaru!"

"Will you buy this!" Sesshoumaru demanded angrily, drawing his sword. Inuyasha raised his sword and made to attack, but before he could do anything, Sesshoumaru slung the Toukijin off to the side angrily, not even following it with his eyes as it lodged deep within a tree trunk a few yards away.

"Sesshoumaru?" Inuyasha blinked and stared uncertainly.

"I told you, I'm not here to fight," Sesshoumaru said in exasperation. "I just want to talk to you, alone, just for a few mintues," he added in a softer tone.

Inuyasha and the others looked at him in surprise for a long minute before Inuyasha finally sighed. He sheathed his sword and walked over, standing a few feet from his brother.

"Okay, let's go. There's a hot spring over there; just as good a place as any to talk."

Sesshoumaru nodded and forced himself to let go of Ah-Un, and the two walked over to the hot springs slowly.

"What's going on?" Kagome wondered out loud as soon as they were gone.

"I'm not sure," Sango shook her head.

"I haven't the faintest clue," Miroku agreed.

"His scent was kind of funny," Shippou said thoughtfully. "He smelled...sad or something," the fox added.

"Wonder what it's all about," Kagome looked over towards the springs in deep contemplation.

"What's this all about, Sesshoumaru?" Inuyasha asked suspiciously as the older demon sat down, leaning against a tree.

"About you, actually," Sesshoumaru said calmly. "Let me finish before you say anything," he added. "It's not something you did, or something you caused, or something you didn't do, for that matter. It's mostly about me, and what really goes on between the two of us, so therefore it is also about you."

"You're not making any sense!" Inuyasha growled angrily.

"There's something I never told you, Inuyasha...something that's very important, but I never had the...well, I never had the courage to tell you before," he said with a scoff. "It's not easy to tell you, it really isn't..."

"The courage? Sesshoumaru, I might not like you, but I know you aren't a coward. What the hell is going on here? What's up with you? You're acting all strange!" Inuyasha said with a confused frown.

"I...Inuyasha, I, well..." Sesshoumaru took a deep breath. "I don't hate you. I never did, I just-"

"Don't hate me? You've tried to fuckin' KILL ME, you jackass! How can you say you don't hate me! Look, you hate me just as much as I hate you, and you damn well know it! Quit it with all the bullshit, Sesshoumaru!"

"I'm not lying, Inuyasha. Just let me finish, huh?" Sesshoumaru turned to gaze upwards at his brother, his golden orbs burning fiercely with strained emotions. Inuyasha looked down at Sesshoumaru-something he never expected to do, he realized idly, and his hands slowly unclenched. He hadn't noticed that he had curled his hands into fists until he relaxed them. Inuyasha's ears twitched suspiciously, but he slowly sat down a few feet from Sesshoumaru and looked at him for a few minutes.

"Alright, I'll listen. What else?" Inuyasha asked carefully.

"I never really hated you, Inuyasha-everything I did, I only tried to...to protect you," he said.

"How in the hell is trying to kill me going to protect me!" Inuyasha yelled angrily.

"I never really tried to kill you, though," Sesshoumaru explained, struggling to find the right words. It was getting more difficult for him to talk. "I, well, I fought you, yes, but-I didn't want to kill you, I never wanted to kill you. If I truly wanted to kill you, I would have come after you when you were a pup, killed you before you had the chance to fight back. Didn't you ever wonder why I didn't come after you when you were a child?"

"I always thought you had too many morals for that," Inuyasha said in a halfway sarcastic tone.

"Huh," Sesshoumaru scoffed. "If I hated you as much as you think I do, I wouldn't have given it a second thought. I've killed plenty of children, though it's not my favorite occupation."

"Yeah, whatever," Inuyasha mumbled. "I still don't get how that was supposed to be protecting me. I just think you're full of it, Sesshoumaru."

"I was protecting you," Sesshoumaru sighed. "It was the only thing I could think of at the time. If the demons of the court had their way, you'd have been killed when you were a pup. I told them that I would kill you, nobody else, and I convinced them well enough...they believed me, Inuyasha. I had to make them believe me, or they would have come after you themselves. I knew that at least if I were the one fighting, I could stop before I killed you, I could leave and let you recover. I would have left them, I would have taken you away, but...the lands would have fallen to turmoil, and we would have been chased down anyways. And I wasn't sure I would always be able to keep an eye on you if you stayed in the castle...I had no other choice," Sesshoumaru said, turning sorrowfully away from his younger brother. "I really had no other choice, Inuyasha..."

"So you're telling me that you kept up that lie for two hundred years, and nobody ever found out?" Inuyasha snorted. "Why do I not believe you?"

"I didn't really expect you to," Sesshoumaru said with a self-mocking smile. It was a weak smile, full of pain and sorrow and guilt. "I guess I just couldn't keep it up any longer. I...Inuyasha, I didn't want to hurt you, I didn't want to do everything that I did, but...it was better than having you dead."

"Yeah right," Inuyasha snarled. "Your tall tale just keeps on getting less and less believable, Sesshoumaru! I told you already, quit it with the bullshit!"

"It's not," Sesshoumaru shook his head lightly. "But I don't expect you to believe me. I already said that."

"I think you're just trying to trick me," Inuyasha said as he stood up and drew the Tetsusaiga. "Now tell me the truth, Sesshoumaru!" Inuyasha swung his sword, stopping only a hair's width from Sesshoumaru's neck. The cold steel of the blade grazed the demon's skin, but Sesshoumaru didn't even flinch.

"I already told you the truth," Sesshoumaru whispered, his voice full of regret. "Go on, Inuyasha. If you want to take my life, it's yours. I won't stop you; I swear it on Father's grave that I won't stop you."

Inuyasha looked at Sesshoumaru in shock.

"You'd swear it on our Father's grave?" he asked uncertainly, his hand trembling. His sword pressed closer to Sesshoumaru's neck, but the demon didn't move.

"I would swear it a thousand times over if you wanted me to," Sesshoumaru said.

Inuyasha knew Sesshoumaru well enough to believe that he would never swear anything on thier father's grave unless he meant it. Still, though...

"You'd let me take your life. What about everything else you said? What about not hating me? Would you swear that on Father's grave, Sesshoumaru?"

"On his grave and on my very life," Sesshoumaru said, looking straight into Inuyasha's eyes.

Inuyasha stood there, dumbfounded, his body trembling. He finally pulled his sword away, sheathing it as he sat again a bit unsteadily.

"You never hated me?" he asked in a whisper, his mind swimming with emotions that he never expected to feel.

"Never," Sesshoumaru said softly.

"It was all a ruse," Inuyasha said, more to himself than to Sesshoumaru. "Just a lie. You never, ever hated me."

Sesshoumaru blinked a few times and turned his head, nodding slightly.

"You've been lying to me this whole time. You've lied to me from the start. Just like everyone else in my life," Inuyasha said, his eyes hardening. "Just like everyone else."

"I didn't-" Sesshoumaru tried to protest, but stopped. He looked down at the ground in shame, then nodded again. "Yeah, I've lied to you this whole time. Just like everyone else," he whispered.

"How could you?" Inuyasha asked fiercely. "If you cared, then why didn't you tell me it was all a ruse? I would have played along with it."

"I-I don't know," Sesshoumaru admitted. "I guess I thought that you might not be able to pull off the act."

"You don't give me enough credit," Inuyasha growled. "You never did. You know what? From now on, don't even bother with your so-called 'protection.' If anybody comes after me, I'll handle them all by my damn self."

"Inuyasha-"

"I don't care," Inuyasha growled angrily, standing up and turning away. "You've been lying to me all these years, all this time. You don't know how much you've made me suffer, Sesshoumaru. You should have let me keep on thinking you hated me. At least I would have thought more of you. I used to think that I could at least trust what you said, even if I couldn't trust you entirely. Now I can't even do that."

"Inuyasha..." Sesshoumaru said softly. "I never meant-"

"It doesn't matter," Inuyasha said coldly, his back turned on his brother. "I still hate you, and if you were smart, you'd hate me too. I won't kill you now, I can tell you're too sick to fend for yourself, but take my word on this: I still hate you. I will kill you someday. The fact that we're brothers never stopped me before. And it won't stop me now."

"Why?" Sesshoumaru whispered, asking the only question that was on his mind. "Why, Inuyasha? Don't you understand? It was my only choice, it was the only way-the only thing I could think of to help you," he said.

"You lied to me. You put me through hell, let me think you really hated me, and now you're telling me about it? You left me to the woods, let me get hounded and tortured by countless humans and demons, you were never there to stand up for me. No, you just watched it all from the sidelines and stayed where you were. How could you be so cruel? If you really cared, you would have been there!" Inuyasha snapped, turning to stare at his brother fiercely.

"I couldn't have," Sesshoumaru said, his eyes searching his brother's molten orbs for any trace of understanding or forgiveness. "I had no other choice. What would you have done?" he asked.

"What would I have done? You really want to know?" Inuyasha asked vehemently. "I would have said 'screw the fucking lands, I have a brother!' That's what I would have done. I don't give a goddamn about the fucking inheritage. I'm your kid brother, I have inheritance from our old man too. You think I give a damn? Hell no. I don't want any fucking land to look after. There's too much bullshit that comes with it, and what's is all worth? Can't take it with you when you die; the only things worth anything in life aren't things. They're people. You know why I value our old man's sword? Because it's powerful enough to protect my friends from just about anything-including myself. Without this, I would transform and kill them. If I die, I don't give a damn if you take the stupid thing."

"Inuyasha..." Sesshoumaru stopped once more. He was at a loss of words. He lowered his head and sighed heavily, forcing himself to contain the tears that wanted to fall. "I'm sorry..."

"Sorry isn't good enough anymore," Inuyasha snarled. "You should have said that about a hundred and fifty years ago, when I needed somebody to look after me. When I needed somebody to care. When my mother died, and I was cast out alone into the dark forests, to fight for myself and try not to die, wondering if I would see the next sunrise. You should have told me then, when I needed a brother. You waited too long, Sesshoumaru."

"Isn't there any way I can make it up to you?" Sesshoumaru whispered, looking up sorrowfully.

"No, Sesshoumaru, I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive you for this," Inuyasha shook his head. "We've talked long enough. Goodbye, Sesshoumaru," Inuyasha said as he turned to walk away.

"All this time, and it's just been so many wasted years," Sesshoumaru said to himself sadly, his heart breaking.

"That's all that's left between us," Inuyasha agreed without turning or stopping.

"Goodbye, little brother," Sesshoumaru whispered, watching the halfdemon leave. Inuyasha didn't even reply. Sesshoumaru felt his heart being shattered into hundreds of pieces, he felt empty and hollow and broken. He looked over at a few flowers sadly, watching the wilted petals fall to the ground and crumple with the slight breeze.

Sesshoumaru stared at the flowers for a long time, wating until the last petal fell, waiting there for the rest of the day and well into the night, waiting as the faint sounds of Inuyasha and his companions began to fade as they packed up and left.

"So many wasted years," he whispered as silent tears came from his eyes. He stood up unsteadily, walking back over to where Ah-Un still waited patiently for him. He walked over to the tree where he had thrown Toukijin earlier, pulling out the sword forcefully. He looked at the blade for a long time-for a very long time, studying his reflection in the cold steel.

"So this is why Father chose to die," Sesshoumaru whispered. "He thought I hated him, he truly believed I would never be able to get over it. He thought there was nothing left for him but pain and suffering, only tinted with slight fringes of joy, but never true happiness-never again anticipating that feeling. That's why he chose death-he wasn't being stupid, nor was he being noble or honorable. He was taking his pain away-and his life, too, was cut short. All those years-he could have lived so much longer..."

Ah-Un snorted worriedly, diverting the dog-demon's attention from the sword. The dragon bleated and pawed the ground once, nudging Sesshoumaru's shoulder in an almost pleading manner.

"What is it, Ah-Un?" Sesshoumaru asked with a sigh. The dragon stared at him worriedly, tilting one head sideways with a slight whimper-or as close to a whimper as the dragon could get.

"Not yet, old friend," Sesshoumaru sighed heavily. "I still have one person to take care of, one person to live for. After she's gone, I suppose I won't have anything left to do. It's all going to be just wasted years..."

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"Sesshoumaru," a voice called softly, quietly, slipping from the shadows.

"Inuyasha?" Sesshoumaru asked hesitantly, turning to look as Inuyasha emerged from the darkness.

"I thought of something. It's important."

"What is it?" Sesshoumaru asked, blinking tiredly at his brother.

"It's the people in your life that matter, not the things," Inuyasha began slowly, walking over to take a good long look at his brother. Sesshoumaru looked ghostly; the sickness he had was draining him both physically and emotionally. His body was shaking with the effort to stand, even though he was clutching the dragon's mane for support. Inuyasha frowned and motioned for them to sit down, and Ah-Un settled himself behind Sesshoumaru while the brothers eased to the ground.

"I have to tell you something. Don't interrupt," Inuyasha warned.

Sesshoumaru nodded his agreement, and Inuyasha continued.

"I know you were trying to protect me. I can understand that. I can even see where you're coming from. I don't think I would have done the same thing, but we're two different people, and we've lived two different lives, been raised two different ways, been taught plenty more than two different things. I thought about it for a while, and I thought that, given the situation, I really might not have done much different. If I was in your place, I would have been the older brother, raised by our father, groomed and taught how to handle things, expecting to inherit the lands. I can see how it would be chaotic if you left the western territory to the other demons. So, having said that, I have to ask you to do something. On faith alone."

"What?" Sesshoumaru asked.

"Promise to do it first, no matter what it is. No matter what I ask, you have to do it. Then I know that you care."

"I promise it," Sesshoumaru swore.

"Tell the demons of the court. Let them know everything. Then I can forgive you."

"They'll come after you," Sesshoumaru protested.

"Let them try. If you really care, you'll be here to help me when I need you," Inuyasha said softly.

"Is that really what you want?" Sesshoumaru asked softly, looking into his brother's eyes.

"Only if you really care," Inuyasha said.

"I'll be back in a few days, then," Sesshoumaru said, standing up unsteadily. Ah-Un rose, and Sesshoumaru hopped onto the dragon and took off towards the west, headed for his castle.

"Maybe," Inuyasha chuckled to himself. "I already forgave you, Sesshoumaru. I needed to know you were sincere. All those wasted years, wondering if you cared...I should have known all along. But now we won't have to fight, now we won't have to hide it...now I really can care about you, big brother..."

Sesshoumaru came back a few days later, as he promised. Rin and Jaken were with him this time, riding on Ah-Un as he himself flew on his cloud. He look a bit tired, but no longer seemed sick or depressed.

"You told them?" Inuyasha asked expectantly. Sesshoumaru nodded.

"Hey, little brother..." Sesshoumaru started hesitantly.

"What is it?" Inuyasha asked.

"How about we start catching up on all those wasted years, huh?" he asked, flashing a rare smile.

"Yeah, sure," Inuyasha agreed, flashing a smile of his own.

"Finally," Shippou muttered from the background.

"Finally," Rin said at the same time.

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