HI FRIENDS! First I just wanna say thanks for reading this story, it's been a long journey with much more to go. I appreciate your thoughtful comments and chatting with you, it really keeps my engaged and I'm always curious to know what your experience is. As the writer it is sometimes to pull myself away from the perspective of the whole story, so thanks for sharing your experiences with me!
This weeks chapter is my IM SORRY FOR BEING A LAME UPDATER. It's actually 10k words, where my normal chapters run 3-4 k with my longer chapters more like 5k. So there is A LOT here, but it really had to stay together. There are some important moments here and hopefully it gets us closer to unraveling some of the tangled web of messes Penny is caught in. I had a lot of run writing this and I hope you enjoyy
xxx
"Why didn't you tell me she was mutilating you!" Penny demanded, gawking at the scar etched into the back of Harry's hand that read, 'I must not tell lies'.
"Because I knew you'd respond like this," Harry said, pulling his hand out of hers.
"Teachers can't just maim students, Harry! You should have told Dumbledore."
"Feel free to tell him yourself if she makes you do lines," he said, an edge to his voice that told Penny he was still displeased with Dumbledore.
"If I get the chance I will. But something tells me she won't be having me do lines," said Penny, pushing the fat lady open.
"Why?" Harry said, perking up at his opening to move the subject from her annoyance at him.
"I can't say for certain, but it seems like she wants me for something. Every time she's shown up she's made some messed up remark about basically protecting the 'Ministry's investment.' It gives me the creeps, Harry."
Harry's wide green eyes creased in thought, Penny watching the little lightbulb going off inside of him. "But that could be good."
"How!"
"It means she will be treading carefully around you, which could make it easy for you to make her life difficult," he grinned.
"In theory that sounds great, but I'm sure the other teachers would notice and I don't fancy spending the entire term in detention."
"Judging by McGonagall's response to Umbridge's inspection, I'm confident they hate her as much as the rest of us," Harry pointed out.
"When'd you'd get so clever, Harry," Penny said, slapping Harry on the back.
He took an unamused swipe that she managed to dodge. They'd entered the Great Hall, the glorious smell of breakfast wafting through the air. Though Penny knew her mouth would refuse to let her enjoy it, she still basked in the anticipation. As they crossed the threshold, Harry's expression changed, it was sadly hopeful. She knew he wanted her to cross that invisible line and make it to the Gryffindor table, that he hated seeing her sit with Malfoy, whom he loathed, every morning, but Penny would not-could not go with him.
She gave him an apologetic smile and then turned right toward the head of sleek blond hair that was set among a group of other Slytherin boys. By this point they seemed to have accepted Penny was a permanent fixture and stopped sneering at her when she sat down. The amount of sway Draco seemed to hold among them was impressive, it was a trait she assumed he'd gotten from his father.
"You do know coffee is terrible for the complexion," Draco said, turning from his conversation, his perfect brow upturned.
"So I'd better drink yours for you then, don't want that pretty face of yours getting blotchy," Penny said, taking his cup from him and downing it.
"You're going to let a dirty-blooded wench disrespect you like that?" Blaise demanded from across the table.
Penny snorted with laughter and turned on Blaise, giving him a scathing look. "Is it my cooties or people realizing you can't prove your bloodline because your mother loves dick too much that you're afraid of, Zabini?"
Blaise was on his feet, the other Slytherins around him uncertain if they should laugh or also turn on Penny.
"You'd do well to remember your place, Potter. Things are changing around here, you wouldn't want a target on your back," he said, looking haughtily down on her. "And you, Draco, your desperation is pathetic."
"Oh do shut up,Blaise, you're making a moron out of yourself again. You are the son of a whore, do not presume to tell a pureblood what to do. Penny is entertaining, which makes her useful, unlike you. As pretty as your face is, I find myself tiring of you, so move along," Draco said, shooing Blaise away in a bored fashion.
Blaise looked on the verge of hexing them but he glanced at the high table, at which sat Albus Dumbledore. Seeming to decide the risk was not worth it, he turned dramatically and sauntered out of the hell, the other Slytherin boys following him after a nod from Malfoy.
"Well he's in a mood," Penny said, turning questioningly to Draco.
"The sooner we find you a new last name the better," he said, sourly as he stabbed at his sausage.
"And what last name do you propose I take?" Penny said.
"Oh, don't be coy, Penny, we all know you'll be taking Snape, which if you ask me, is the most respectable choice one in your position could make."
"Oh yes, because marrying a Slytherin is the only way to redeem myself from my low birth status."
"I'm glad to see you're catching on quickly," Malfoy smirked.
"I'll marry Snape the day you admit you're in love with Harry," Penny said, filling her mouth with as many hash browns as possible.
Draco watched her with the utmost disgust, his upper lip curling. "I hate to ruin your fantasy of a twin threesome with me, but I find nothing more boring than self-righteous prats."
"Are you sure you've never lingered over those boyish good looks of his? Never lingered longer than you should on those wide green eyes? They're just begging for a little excitement," she said in her lowest, gravelly tone.
His eyes narrowed on her as he pulled on his full bottom lip with his thumb and forefinger. "As cute as this abysmal attempt at match-making is, I have more pressing matters to discuss with you."
"What, you forget to do your essay for Snape?" Penny said with an eye roll, pushing her plate away feeling as disappointed with the meal as she knew she would be.
"Today is the equinox-"
"I didn't take you as the type to care about astronomy."
"Shush, Penny, you're making yourself look dumb. The equinox is the night of mayhem, assuming you have actually been living here for the past five years, I would think you'd heard of it," Draco said, flicking her cheek in a reprimanding manner.
"Isn't that just some excuse for the 7th year boys to haze a bunch of dumb 6th year boys?" Penny said, grabbing Draco's finger in hers.
"That is the excuse, certainly, but obviously the only reason is to go for the firewhisky."
"And the thrill of risking being caught out of bed?" Penny added with an arch of her brow.
"Is perfect Penny afraid?" Draco said, the jab all too reminiscent of Snape, which triggered her stubborn response.
Letting go of his finger, she turned away and sighed, hoping very much she would not live to regret her answer. "Since I feel bad none of your other friends wanna go with you, I'll come hold your hand so you don't get scared."
He chuckled softly, twirling his finger into one of her long, red locks. "I knew you wouldn't disappoint. Be at the lake at midnight, on the dot."
After breakfast, Penny bade farewell to Malfoy, who looked far too pleased with himself. She idly wondered how the night of mayhem had become a tradition and how students managed to continuously pull it off. She'd only ever heard of a few stragglers getting busted in their attempts to sneak out, but never of the teachers ever finding the actual event. There was a lot of secrecy regarding it, and she knew only certain people were given the privilege of an invite and were sworn to keeping the location secret, which changed every year. But surely the teachers had learned of it by now, so how had they continuously been duped by a bunch of teenagers? The answer to this question intrigued her.
Her feet moved automatically, knowing her path well enough to move her upon it even in her sleep. She stopped just outside his office door, the hall cold and empty. Out of all the locations to choose from in the castle, Penny did wonder why he liked it down here. There was not a single window, and no one ever came this way unless forced-except for perhaps, Penny.
She stood outside, uncertain of how to proceed. She was, admittedly, scared of what Snape's reaction to her would be. But then she reminded herself she was a Gryffindor and to stop acting like a coward, so she marched her way into the room, finding it as empty as the hall.
"Professor?" Penny called, looking around tentatively.
No one responded, but a faint white shimmering coming from his desk caught her attention. Her eyes found the familiar basin known as the pensive, a magical device that allowed memories to be stored and revisited. Her curiosity getting the better of her, Penny moved forward, wanting very much to know what had recently been pressing on Snape's mind.
Glancing around one last time to ensure she was still alone, Penny looked down at the contents within the pensive and to her surprise she found her own face looking back at her, though she seemed different somehow. Her cheeks chubbier, complexion brighter and the dark under eyes non-existent. Why had been Snape considering her? Penny knew there was only one way to find out, so impulsively she pressed her face into the glimmering contents.
The sensation was one of the world tipping. Penny felt as though she did a flip-flop like one might do in outer-space, yet the the world around her somehow managed to remain right-side up. Penny found herself still in Snape's office, the pensive sitting just where it was when she'd dove in. The only difference was Snape stood over it watching a younger Penny leave. It was a very bizarre experience watching herself leave the room, but she did not linger long as her focus turned to Snape, who magiced his door shut and locked it.
Then he considered the pensive for a moment before placing a single, slender finger into the contents. Watching him made Penny realize how dumb she'd been for thinking she had to submerge herself in the contents. The action of tumbling into a pensive when she already knew she was in a pensive was a very disorientating experience. She reminded herself she was in-fact watching a memory of Snape tumble into a memory of Penny's.
While she knew which memory he had, it did not prepare her for the horror she knew was waiting on the other side. Snape landed gracefully, as though tumbling into a pensive were not sickening. She watched as he took in the scene before him, her memory-self convulsing on the floor from the collar, Yaxley and the unspeakables forcing her into the chair that immediately sprang to life to clasp her to itself.
When the collar stopped shocking her, her memory-self began screaming in rage, yanking against the binds, looking fearfully at the rabbit trapped in the cage beside her and the strange contraption connected to her wrist. Penny glanced curiously at Snape, finding his face stony and filled with rage, his eyes fixed on a grossly happy Yaxley.
When the glove made its appearance he turned to watch memory-Penny, and Penny noted how he instinctively moved toward her when the vile item started digging into memory-Penny's hip, as though intending to throw it from her. But then he seemed to remember it was nothing but a memory and watched the events unfold before him, his hands balled into fists.
It was a disembodying experience, watching something Penny knew had happened, but could not rightly remember, seeing as the memory remained with Snape. She found herself shaking with disgust and anger, watching herself crying and screaming, trying to endure the pain, evidently terrified of what would happen if she used her magic.
As it turned out, she had good reason to be terrified, the thick black substance that oozed from her veins began encasing the rabbit, who screeched in agony, the sound of its burning flesh reaching Penny's ears.
Though she knew it was just a memory, Penny could not stomach it, so she took a seat across from Snape and merely watched him as item after item was brought, and Penny was tortured until she produced the result the men watching wanted. Snape's eyes never left memory-Penny's face, Penny noting how grief and helplessness consumed his features.
After some time, memory-Penny became less conscious and the men seemed to decide they were were finished just as the door opened, a blurred out figure joining the room. It was very peculiar and Penny had to do a double-take. She could certainly make out the outline of a short person, but it was like all of the details regarding that person had been scribbled out. Even as Yaxley walked over to greet the person, his words were cut short, "Ah! - good to see you!"
However, the response of the person was perfectly audible as they greeted Yaxley back. "I trust things are on schedule, Yaxley?" a high-pitched voice said.
Snape's attention moved from memory-Penny, his brows furrowing on the new guest. It was evident he was as perturbed by their appearance as Penny was.
"Yes, yes," Yaxley said, moving back towards memory-Penny and freeing her from her chair. "Time to go, love, some new friends have been dying to make your acquaintance," Yaxley said, squatting down and brushing the hair from memory-Penny's sweaty and tear streaked face.
She muttered something, staring at Yaxley through bleary eyes. Then the unspeakables lifted her from the chair and carried her after the strange gray figure. But instead of the memory following with them, a loud screeching echoed that made Penny grab her own head, the entire room becoming distorted like she were staring at the static on the TV.
Snape cursing to himself, the two of them returned to Snape's office. He stared down at the pensive for a moment before a fit of rage overtook him and he turned to the various glasses of object that were displayed on the wall behind his desk and began smashing them from their places with an angry scream. He did this until every last object lay shattered on the floor, did not so much as bother to clean the mess and then turned on his heel and left the office, the scene around Penny dissolving with the slamming of the door, the dark night sky taking its place. Blinking, she realized she was now standing just outside of Hogwarts.
"Just a moment," Snape's voice said, Penny turning to find him and herself making their way to the steps.
"You ready to apologize now?" a very irritated memory-Penny said.
Snape, evidently not paying her any attention continued, "Were you aware the memory you gave me was split?"
Memory-Penny looked confused, which Snape appeared to be taking note of. He'd adopted the look of interrogation, staring intently at her, searching for the evidence she was hiding something, but memory-Penny did not seem to notice this.
She questioned him on it and he replied impatiently, as she remembered, but this time Penny paid attention to his countenance, the worry etched into his face, and the way his eyes lingered on her as she stormed away before he in turn walked into the dark, the memory dissolving.
Penny was now standing in a dark alley she did not recognize, she turned and found Snape walking up to a man dressed in brilliant blue robes. When they got closer Penny realized it was Dumbledore, looking far too amused as he called to a very harassed looking stray cat.
"Severus," Dumbledore smiled, when he noticed Snape. "I trust you are enjoying your company. I must admit, I worried Molly might be correct and the situation might be too much, but it seems the company has done wonders for your complexion. Tell me, how is Miss Potter doing? It seems she is still reluctant to speak to anyone but you."
"She is as tedious as ever, has no concept of cleanliness and insists on suffering more than she needs," Snape sneered.
"If you wish me to return her to her Godfather, you need but ask," Dumbledore replied, observing Snape knowingly through his half-moon spectacles.
"I would not send her back to that fool even if she hadn't made the request not to go." Snape said, looking as harassed as the cat.
"I see," Dumbledore said, a note of amusement in his voice. "And do you feel she has made any improvement?"
"She eats," Snape said, tersely.
"And does she speak?"
"She never shuts up!"
"Wonderful," Dumbledore said, pleasantly. "Now that I can report confidently back to Molly that Penny is well taken care of, what is it you wished to speak about?"
"Yaxley!" Snape all but spat.
"Yes, I'd heard he'd paid you a visit, I imagine being reunited with Miss Potter did not go well for any involved."
"He brought her a message from someone in the Department of Mysteries, but as I suspected, she did not seem to understand what or who he was referring to, something he also expected. He went so far as suggesting he jog her memory," Snape said as he began pacing. "It is exactly as I said when I found the girl's split memory, he is hiding something."
"If you'll remember, I did not disagree on that point, Severus, so the accusation is unnecessary," Dumbledore said, calmly.
"I let you convince me to let it go that time, but I won't this time. She must know-"
"Is it Penny who must know, Severus, or you? Because I'll remind you, that girl has experienced more pain in the last year than any other person I know. And while I do not discount how clever and resilient she is, I find myself unwilling to inflict upon her any more unnecessary pain, especially during such a difficult time."
"How is not knowing the truth helping her!" Snape demanded, rounding on Dumbledore.
"It is relieving her of a burden no witch, grown or otherwise, should ever have to carry. You of all people should be sensitive to the kind of horror that girl experienced during a time where she was just learning about herself. She has worked very hard to come to terms with the reality of what she is, but I would be lying if I said I did not fear that she has resigned herself to following in Gridenwald's footsteps, which makes her vulnerable to those who would use her," Dumbledore replied, stroking his long beard. "She is a child, Severus, and it is my belief that the adults in her life should allow her to remain so." The reprimand in his tone was not missed by Snape, who's lip curled.
"She will never be safe, Albus. You saw how quickly the investigation fell apart, they're looking at the aurors now, the bloody aurors! Fudge is pretending half the report doesn't even exist!" Snape fumed. "So long as Yaxley remains free, he will pursue her. And while she may remain safe behind Hogwarts' walls for now , it is for her future I make this demand."
Dumbledore, who had been studying the dirty brick wall intently, turned back to Snape, his features filled with surprise, "Does that mean you intend to be a part of that girl's future then, Severus? Because you've done a marvelous job of constantly reminding me how she is nothing to you but another student. If you intend to influence her future, then you must accept the responsibility that comes when that future takes shape, and from what I can tell, she is very afraid of what the future looks like for you, which makes me wonder which path you might choose."
Snape clenched and unclenched his fists several times. "If you are suggesting I am abandoning my vow-" Snape said, his voice shaking now. "I know what is required of me."
"Good, because I'm afraid it will only get harder from here on out, so you must be sure to seize upon opportunity while you still have it," Dumbledore said with a sigh.
Penny couldn't help but notice how Dumbledore looked somehow older and graver, the bright amusement she was used to seeing in his features, missing.
"What's that supposed to mean," Snape said through gritted teeth.
"Merely that old men often wish they could prevent the young from walking the same path, though we are aware they must learn for themselves. So I will only say this, if that girl means anything to you, then you must envision your path beyond what I have asked from you. To live after such sacrifice is a great task, but if you do not, then I fear what the future holds for Miss Potter," Dumbledore said, his eyes blazing, holding Snape in place.
Snape made to respond, the vein in his temple throbbing, but Dumbledore put up a hand, stopping him. "If you must pursue this then do so, but I will not allow you to enter into her mind for yourself. As I already said after you entered her mind because of that headache, I believe it to be in a delicate balance and any, yes, even with the best intentions, disturbance could be catastrophic. But whatever other methods you choose to employ, they are at your discretion; I just ask you to remember how important your position is when pursuing this."
Penny, who had been watching the exchange completely transfixed, was reeling in thought. There was so much information that she did not even know how to parse through it all, but before she could decide where to start the memory began fading away and a new one was replacing it.
"I will only ask nicely once, Yaxley," the figure draped in a black hissed. "Who is missing from the split?"
Even beneath the Death Eater's mask, Penny recognized the vile laugh of Yaxley.
"Why don't you just fuck her already so we can all move on from this hard on of yours, Severus. Is she really worth all this effort?"
The wand in Snape's hand pressed more firmly into Yaxley's neck, a streak of blood oozing from its point. Snape reached up and ripped the mask from Yaxley's face, his own betraying no emotion, not even anger, there was only a steely composure that made Yaxley's crease in worry.
"I am not a forgiving man, Yaxley, so I warn you to reconsider your response, it would be a shame if my wand were to slip. . ." Snape cooed, drawing his face nearer Yaxley's, so his breath washed over his face. "I imagine the Dark Lord would be displeased with me, your position in the Ministry is useful after all, but as I am his most valuable asset, I am confident he would forgive the slip. . .It's a steep price to pay to keep someone else's secret, wouldn't you agree, Yaxley?"
It was evident by the beads of sweat rolling down Yaxley's orange face that he did not like what Snape had to say. "She is special, our Penny, I said as much to the Minister. But I assure I was not the one to alter her memory, what fun is there in that? No, no, Severus, I prefer to see the anger rise in the girl, even as she remains helpless, oh how deliciously she tries to resist, and then to see the memory of it rise back up in her every time I encounter her," he laughed, which quickly became a choke as Snape pressed unkindly against his neck, setting more blood free. " Since we are comrades, I will admit, my designs for Penny were appropriated by one worse than me. If you disagree with my methods, you have seen nothing," Yaxley went on, quickly changing directions.
"Who!" Snape demanded in barely more than a whisper.
"I would have thought it obvious. There is only one who sanctions experimentation on children and half-breeds and also happens to be moving up in the Ministry-Dolores Umbridge."
This memory dissolved like the others but instead of being replaced with another one, Penny was pulled upwards and ejected from the pensive, landing hard on her feet, stumbling backward and panting.
She looked around nervously, the room still empty. Gathering herself she darted from the room listening intently for Snape. She knew he would know someone had been in his office, but if he did not catch her, he would not know who. Avoiding the stairs that led to the Entrance Hall, Penny turned and took the long route towards the stairs that led to the opposite side of the castle. When she'd made it out of the Dungeons, she turned toward the Astronomy tower, expecting Snape to assume she'd be heading for the Gryffindor tower.
Penny pushed open the door and marched to the side of the tower, looking down on the vast expanse of the Hogwarts grounds, which felt so tiny beneath he, she sucked in a large, chilly breath of air as the wind whipped at her, her hair spiraling behind her. Penny did not want to think, to wonder, or even to understand, she just wanted to feel nothing, to let herself become an ignorant blank slate of a person who did not have to manage the weight of what she had just witnessed.
It was her fault, she knew this, but she could not deny the anger she felt learning how the adults decided her life without her. Whatever their motives, she should have been allowed a say. But more pressing than that was the awful realization that Dolores Umbridge had played a part in the events Penny could not remember. Did she know who Nina was? What was she hiding and what would finding out cost Penny? Furthermore, was she intent on continuing what she started? The thought of being alone with Umbridge on Monday sickened and frightened Penny, who turned and slid down against the wall.
She clutched her head in both hands and worked on her breathing exercises that Lupin had taught her, the thought of him only making her even more upset. She wanted to speak with him because he had always been the person Penny had turned to when she was afraid, he was the person who made her feel safe, whole, and in control. But she'd left things so horribly with him, been a coward, and not to mention she did not know how to get into contact with him. She could not put these things into a letter, if they were intercepted it would be a nightmare, but Penny wanted very much to be engulfed in his warm embrace, instead she sat alone in the cold, milling through all the horrible scenarios.
When the sun went down and Penny could not handle the cold a moment longer, she made back for the Gryffindor common room, remembering that Draco had invited her out that night and there would be firewhisky-the answer to all her problems.
"You can't trust Malfoy!" Harry said.
"He's right, mate, he's just going to sell you out," Ron added.
"Honestly, Penny, I'm surprised you're even considering going, you'll get detention for a month!" said Hermione.
"It's not just Malfoy, tons of people go to the night of Mayhem," Penny said in exasperation.
"And they shouldn't!" Hermione said matter-of-factly as though that settled things.
"Don't you want to know what goes on?"
"No," Harry and Ron said in unison.
Scowling Penny said, "Well I do. Now go get the invisibility cloak, it's not yours to decide who gets to use it," Penny said, her anger getting the better of her. She was sick of being told what to do by others, and while she respected Harry's opinion, she did not appreciate that he never thought she was capable of making her own decisions.
"I won't," Harry said, biting his lip.
"You're not my dad," Penny said, her eyes narrowing.
Harry glanced at Ron and Hermione as though looking for support and then plunged forward, "But Dumbledore gave it to me and I will not see it used for something like this," he said, sounding as though he were trying to convince himself as much as Penny.
"It was dads and he was returning it. That does not make it yours , we are both Potters," Penny said, jumping to her feet. "And since when do you have the high ground? How many times have you used that to stupidly wonder down to Hagrid's?"
"Hagrid isn't a Slytherin git," Ron pointed out, but he quickly turned away when Penny rounded on him in her fury.
"Those times were different," said Harry, getting to his feet as well.
"I hate to say this, but you know you're being a self-righteous ass," Penny growled.
"And you're being a self-destructive idiot. I won't let you-"
"I don't need your permission to do anything!" Penny yelled, catching the attention of others in the common room who had not already noticed their altercation. "I get to live my life in whatever manner I see fit!" And before Harry could respond, Penny stormed off to her dormitory.
"You okay?" Ginny asked when Penny stormed in.
"My brother is an unbelievable GIT," Penny fumed.
"Sound's like a normal brother to me," Ginny grinned.
Penny had to do a double take, she stared at Ginny realizing she had never really stopped to look at her before. She'd not noticed when Ginny had stopped being the little doe-eyed girl in the cute outfits her mom chose for her. She stood before Penny with messy hair and a slightly disgruntled look that reminded Penny of Fred and George.
"What are you doing in here?" Penny asked after a moment.
"You busted me, but I was swiping this," Ginny said, flashing Lavender Brown's new and very expensive necklace that she hadn't stopped bragging about all week.
Penny couldn't help but burst out laughing as she threw herself onto her bed. "No one would ever suspect you," Penny said to the ceiling.
Ginny sat down beside Penny and winked, "That's the hope. Now tell me what Harry did," she said as she began to rub Penny's head. The sensation was truly blissful and reminded her of something Mrs. Weasley might do. It was like Ginny understood that Penny was reeling and just needed something else to focus on.
Closing her eyes and focusing on the soft fingers on her forehead she replied, "He won't let me use the invisibility cloak to go to the night of mayhem because he doesn't like that Malfoy invited me."
"You were invited? There's only like six slots every year!" Ginny said, the tone of her voice giving away her surprise. "A lot of good that does me if I get caught," Penny grumbled.
"Penny, you have to go," Ginny said, tapping her forehead impatiently. "Brothers are always stupid, you need to learn how to get around them."
"And how do you suggest I do that?" Penny said, sitting up in irritation.
"It just so happens I know Fred and George go every year, so go with them."
"They never mentioned-" Penny said, mouth agape.
"Secrecy is the only way it works and I overheard a conversation. But since you have an invite. . ." she grinned.
"I love you, Ginny," Penny exclaimed, throwing her arms around Ginny and crushing her against her bed.
"Just invite me if you ever get the chance," Ginny choked.
Ginny left Penny outside of Fred and George's dormitory, where she found them and Lee Jordan inside. All three of them grinned widely as they looked over her.
"Penny, what a pleasant surprise," said Fred.
"What're you guys doing?" she asked, making her way to where the three of them sat.
"We are creating a flyer to find test subjects for our Skiving Snackboxes," answered George.
Penny picked up the nearest wrapped candy and read, "Nosebleed nougat."
"I wouldn't try that one, there have been some. . .hiccups with it," sad George, taking it from her.
"Right. . .Ginny sent me up, she seems to think you can help me," Penny said, shamelessly changing the subject.
"These dimwits can't help you with anything, Penny, but whatever you need, I'm your man," Lee Jordan said, flashing his handsome, pearly white grin.
Both Fred and George dove onto Lee and the three of them began a prolonged scuffle that Penny could only shake her head at. When they finally managed to extract themselves, Fred took Penny by the hand and sat beside her on an empty four-poster bed, looking through his lashes at her. "What does our third need?"
"Malfoy invited me to tonight," she said, glancing around the room.
"Did he now," George said, getting to his feet and considering Penny with an unsettling gaze.
"That Slytherin brat got an invite when I have been in charge of planning for years!" Lee Jordan said, throwing a pillow across the room.
"Why'd he give you an invite?" Fred said, suspiciously.
"Why does Malfoy do anything? To piss someone else off," Penny shrugged.
"Alright, Penny, if you stay here, we will show you how we get through the castle without getting caught," George said, sitting down beside Penny.
Apparently the other boys did not find the presence of a girl in their room that unusual and did not ask questions, nor complained when the four of them remained up and loud after they'd gotten into their beds. Penny was thankful for the distraction, and enjoyed planning the marketing for Skiving Snackboxes with the twins and even helped them brainstorm why they could not stop the bleeding from their nosebleed nougats.
At 11:30, the four of them crept through the fat lady, Fred and George leading her through several secret passages she did not even know existed. Miraculously, they did not run into a single teacher and came out on the side of the Herbology building, the cold night air invigorating Penny as they walked through the dark grounds. There was no sign of life until they stumbled upon Malfoy at the water's edge.
"You made it," he said, wrapping her arm in his, which garnered him a reproving glance from the three who'd escorted her there.
He then proceeded to lead them into what appeared to be an empty, dark field, that is, until he came upon a rock with a large red dot on it and said, "Equinox." At the utterance of these words, the invisible barrier between them and the festivities ahead evaporated, casting them into the the orange glow of several bonfires and the loud excitement of the 50 some Hogwarts students sitting around them.
Penny marveled at the magic that it must have taken to hide such noise, but was not allowed to linger as Draco tugged her onward, a couple of 7th years stopping them and asking for names. They then were sworn to secrecy and forced to sign a piece of paper that had been jinxed to ensure they kept it.
Fred and George told Penny they would find her later and began their rounds, Malfoy leading her to a bonfire at the far-end where the sixth year boys sat, waiting for their instructions. Draco spoke to a couple of them before Roger Davis showed up to start handing out drinks. Draco offered Penny the tray and she immediately downed two eliciting an arch of the brow from Draco. "Need I remind you of what happened last time?"
"You sold me out," Penny said, taking a third.
"You are a cheap drunk," Draco corrected, taking the third from her and downing it himself. "We will see where you are after these two and then proceed accordingly."
"I just don't want to be me tonight, Draco," she said, turning on him with her fierce green eyes.
"You saying that makes me desire the boring you, but whatever you wish," he replied, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Just remember we are not alone this time."
Penny nodded with a grin. Malfoy attracted many people who stopped by to chat, many of them all too happy to find Penny tipsy and willing to laugh and joke about any mundane thing she could think of. It did not take long for her to start dancing once Fred and George had gotten the music situation set up. There was something truly primal about dancing under the stars knowing that what she was doing was forbidden and could land her in more trouble than she cared to acknowledge, but the thought only drove her to laugh harder and spin more freely.
Unfortunately and to Malfoy's great displeasure, she seemed to attract a lot of attention and plenty of hopefuls tried to join her, among them was Theodore Nott, the thick-browed boy Penny had seen receiving a blow job from Malfoy. She'd never realized how handsome he was before, and found herself unusually elated when he weaved his arm around her waist and pulled her close to him, the two of them dancing in lockstep. They remained glued to each other, their eyes locked and heavy breath falling over the other until Draco cut in and insisted he needed Penny to accompany him. Nott did not look at all willing to listen to Malfoy, but Penny broke away as soon as Draco called, throwing her arms around his neck and kissing his cheek.
He dragged her away, reprimanding her as he went.
"I was just dancing," Penny complained, stumbling after him.
"If you call clothed sex dancing," Draco said, shoving a glass of whatever into her hand.
"You think so? He did seem a little intense, but I didn't get the vibe that he wanted to kiss me," Penny gushed, sounding truly bewildered.
"You really are drunk," he sighed, looking her over.
"I just want to be free, Draco. But I don't want to make you unhappy," Penny hiccuped.
"Alright, look you can be as free and horny as you want, but just not around Nott, or any other Slytheirn for that matter," he scowled, taking the cup from her and forcing it down her throat when he realized she was not drinking. "Lord knows you can't do worse than the Chang girl, she was snogging Davies as soon as she got here."
"I thought she was still mourning-" Penny choked, still unable to say Cedric's name, even while drunk.
"She's a lying whore, we both know that," Draco said, wiping Penny's face and straightening her hair. "Listen, Penny, I know you're-the sensitive type," he said, trying hard not to eye roll. "So I don't want you to do anything you'll regret. . ."
"Like what?" Penny said, cocking her head.
Malfoy seemed to struggle with what he was trying to get out and finally decided to grab another drink and down it before saying, "If you feel like kissing someone, just come find me first."
"What if it's you I want to kiss," she giggled.
"That's the smartest thing you've said all night," he said, scrutinizing her skirt as though he had just noticed how short it was.
"But you're gay."
"Well according to my mother I need to 'try out a girl' before I'm allowed to claim that title. So if you wanted us to pash, you'd be doing us both a favor," Draco replied, trying to tug on her skirt to pull it downward.
"She didn't. . ." Penny said, feeling suddenly more sober than she had all night. She took Draco by the shoulder and pulled him to face her.
"I can't stand that look, it reminds me of your brother," he said, his grey eyes heavy with disdain.
"I was born first, so he reminds you of me," Penny corrected, finding herself suddenly tilting sideways.
Malfoy shook his head and straightened her, handing her back the glass of water.
"You don't need to kiss anyone to know who you are," Penny said, trying to sip the water and missing her mouth completely. Looking on the verge of stranling her, he took the cup back from her and swapped it for a drink which he promptly downed.
"In that case, you don't need to kiss anyone to forget who you are," Malfoy countered, and with that he led her to another campfire and pushed her toward the group of dancing people while he took a seat with some Ravenclaws.
Penny stumbled into the waiting arms of Lee Jordan who was all too glad to catch her and pull her into a close embrace. He began spinning with her along to the beat, but was quickly parted from her by Fred Weasley, who took Penny by the hand danced with her. His moves were graceful but dominant. He led and Penny followed and when she wasn't certain how she should move next he moved her.
The distance between them naturally minimized, Fred's face finally pressed into Penny's neck, which sent tingles up her spine. In response she pressed her mouth against his ear and breathed deeply, making the hand around her waist cling tighter to her. While most of Penny's consciousness was engulfed in the bliss of the movement of her body, in the ability to leave her thinking behind, dancing among the stars, the other half was becoming aware of a rising need in her chest, one she was familiar with but unsure of.
Being so close to Fred, it reminded her of the bliss of being close to Cedric, of that urge to press her lips against him. But every-time she thought that urge might get the best of her, she pulled back, feeling the guilt rise in her chest. Fred seemed attuned to this struggle, and he too never broke what little distance was between them between their lips, though he spent much time looking longingly at them.
Wanting to get to the bottom of it all Penny finally whispered in his ear, "I think I want to kiss you."
Fred pulled away to look at her, his mouth opening several times but no words came out. Then with a frustrated sigh, he said "I call an emergency meeting of the three," and dragged Penny away from the bonfire.
He stopped when he found George and Lee, demanded Lee leave and then rounded on George.
"Emergency meeting."
George looked between the two, his eyebrow quirked in interest. Fred then turned back to Penny. "I will regret this in the morning, but tell George what you said."
"I think I want to kiss Fred," she laughed, snatching another drinking and gulping half of it before Fred could wrestle it from her.
"You're very intoxicated, Penny," George said.
"So? If a girl wants a pash why can't she have a pash," Penny challenged, rounding on him.
"Merlin knows I'd give you a threesome if you asked, however, under the circumstances, I propose we cast a vote," he said. "All in favor of waiting to pash Penny until she's sober, say aye."
The two said aye in unison, leaving Penny as the odd man out and feeling exceptionally confused and a little silly.
"I'm sure I'll thank you two come morning, but you'll understand why I feel like going and preserving my dignity now," she said, making off towards the drink table before either could stop her.
The world around Penny was blurring. The laughing faces became one as the bonfires seemed to grow and consume them all, it made it hard to walk, and she stumbled, nearly hitting the ground, but a pair of firm hands steadied her. He pulled her upward and grinned down out her. Confused Penny looked up into the rugged blonde features. "McLaggen?" she said.
"Potter, didn't think I'd see you here, thought you were too good for something like this," he said, coming off as arrogant as Penny had heard.
"Right. . ." she said, trying to pull free of his grasp, but he was dragging her beside him toward the drink table and shoving a drink into her hand.
"I've been coming since my second year, family's big in the ministry, you know? So of course I received an invite."
"How nice for you," Penny said, focusing on her drink and feeling that she probably should not drink it, vaguely remembering Draco's warning to her.
"I was among the hazed," he added.
"Yeah, how was that?" Penny said, absently, looking for her escape.
"It wasn't easy, over half gave up-" but Penny wasn't listening, she was watching the people around them, most of whom were paired off, many locked in kissing sessions. Her eyes fell on Cho who was kissing someone else now, who, she could not tell, but she could see Slytherin robes. It made Penny jealous, angry even, that she would never be like that.
Why had her boyfriend been murdered? Why was she a cursed creature destined to be pitied and have her life laid out for her? The poor tragic orphan, sister of the doomed Harry Potter, when was her life ever realistically going to get better? It wasn't and everyone except her seemed to know this. It was like they were all laughing about some joke she didn't get. Though she pretended otherwise, Penny envied Cho Chang, the normalcy of her life, her ability to be a reckless teenager and kiss all the boys she wanted without people worrying about her emotional wellbeing. The reality of the stark difference in their lives was annoyinly unfair.
"Did you hear me, Penny?" McLaggen asked, pulling Penny from her stupor.
"What?" she said, turning back to him.
The moment her blurry vision found his blue eyes, he grabbed a hold of both sides of her face and pulled her into a sloppy kiss. It was wet, loose, and poorly aimed, reminding Penny of a dog. Disgusted she placed both palms against his chest and then pushed, he stumbled, and Penny pulled back her right arm and smashed McLaggen squarely in the nose, blood spurting from it.
The people around them immediately began laughing as Penny pulled her arm back intending to hit him again, filled with fury at the audacity of him, but someone grabbed her around the chest and immediately began dragging her away form the scene.
"Let me go! That stupid little cockroach!" Penny spat.
"As entertaining as you beating that flea to a pulp is, I think it's time to go," Draco said in her ear, as he wrestled her away.
"Did you see that? He kissed me?" Penny gagged, spitting out the taste of the nasty creature.
By now Draco was openly laughing, but kept a firm hold. "He did, but I'm fairly certain he'll never do anything so stupid again."
"It was so gross, I didn't even know a kiss could be that bad," Penny said, trying to wipe her tongue with her hands.
"We're leaving in this group," Draco said to the 7th year blocking their exit.
"This groups already full, you'll have to wait for the next," the guy said, pompously.
"Then move someone, unless you intend to face the displeasure of the Malfoy's," Draco drawled.
Taking a second look at who he was speaking to, the guy apologized profusely and assured Draco he would be leaving within the next five minutes.
"Why can't we just go," Penny said, sitting herself on the wet grass.
With an exasperated sigh, Draco pushed Penny's legs together with his foot so no one could see up her skirt and said, "What do you think would happen if all these drunk baboons tried to sneak back to their houses at the same time?"
"Oh, I imagine that'd be pretty loud."
"Precisely. So everyone gets divided into groups and starting from three am they start sending people back, whether they want to go or not."
"What time is it?" Penny asked, looking up at the sky and deciding it was distinctly lighter.
"It's 4:30," he replied, taking Penny by the wrist, pulling her to her feet before wrapping his arm around her shoulder. "Now, you need to swear to be quiet, because if I get detention for saving you from yourself, I will ensure you suffer," he said in her ear, tickling it and making Penny laugh.
"Yeah alright. You gonna tell me where you disappeared to?"
"I was with Blaise."
"You sucked his-"
"What do you take me for? A cheap whore? He sucked mine," Malfoy said, indignantly.
Penny shook her head at him, but that only made the world spin more than it already was.
"Lucky you. Turns out no one wanted to kiss me," Penny said in a pathetically defeated voice.
Draco, apparently disagreed and snorted derisively. "I assure you every heterosexual male there had his eyes on you, that shirt of yours did a lot of work. I have to say, I never knew you were hiding that kind of rack under there."
"Are you drunk?" Penny asked, turning on him. "After Nott, they all but ran from me, and Fred basically said I was too drunk to kiss."
"Did he?" Draco said, sounding impressed, "Maybe I do like him," he muttered, considering her seriously. "But you came with me, naturally only one as arrogant as Nott would touch what's not his."
"What are you, my dad now? I thought you wanted me to live a little?" Penny said, sourly.
"And you did, no buffoons like Nott necessary," he said with such vehemence that Penny couldn't help but laugh a little.
"Someone other than Nott might have been nice."
"You're not ready," he said, dismissively.
"How do you know?"
"Because seven days ago you couldn't even walk past the Hufflepuff table, now shut up, we are entering the castle. I will go as far as the third corridor, but then we are parting ways."
Rubbing her face in an effort to sober herself up, Penny tried to be as quiet as possible, but in the silence of the castle she felt absurdly loud, and Draco appeared to feel the same way as well.
By the third floor, he all but ran away from her, leaving her to blink profusely as she tried to remember which route Fred and George had taken. This ended abysmally, Penny finding herself somehow on the third food instead of the 5th like she expected to be. She was considering going back the way she came when she turned and collided with something she was sure had not in the middle of the hall a moment before.
"Potter," he said, softly.
Penny could only gape as she squinted stupidly up at her Potions Master, who'd grasped her shoulder and started whisking her down the hall before she could respond. When she did find her voice, she said, "Sir, I can explain."
But "Shut up, you idiot," was the only response she received.
Penny's mind failed to produce a single good excuse just as her legs failed in their attempt to walk naturally, neither registering when Snape pushed her into his office and shut the door, the lock clicking. Everything was spinning and Penny felt again like she'd like to spin with it, but a tiny part of her knew she was in trouble.
"It is five am-" Snape began lecturing, as Penny tried to straighten herself up against his desk, his eyes finally looking over her. "You're drunk," he accused, eyes narrowed.
"N-no," Penny lied, looking away from him, wishing very much that there were not five Snape's standing before her.
"Is that so? Then walk to me," he said in a bored voice.
Mustering all her soberness, Penny tried to focus on which Snape she suspected was the real one and began walking, one absurdly slow step at a time. Because she was so wasted, she did not notice him rub his face as her line quickly became slanted until she finally just fell over.
"Get up, Potter!"
"I think I'd prefer to just stay down here," Penny groaned, rolling onto her back.
"And what possessed you to drink on school grounds after the warning you received last time?" he said, squatting down to peer at her pupils.
"C'mon, tell the truth, if you were me, wouldn't you drink too?" Penny said with a hard laugh.
"You are ever the drama queen, but really, Potter, your teenage life is not as tragic as you make it out to be."
"I feel compelled to disagree?" Penny challenged, sitting up and smashing her head against Snape's, who cursed loudly. Penny merely grabbed her bruise and continued you on. "My Parents murdered by the most evil wizard ever, boyfriend murdered by him too and brother on the hit list; have a curse that's slowly killing me; don't forget I have powers the the second most evil wizard has, making my job prospects post-Hogwarts pretty abysmal, oh and apparently everyone thinks I'm some emotionally messed up girl so no boys want to kiss me, except McLaggen, who didn't even ask and basically licked my face," Penny said, the slur all too obvious in her voice as she rolled onto her hands and knees and began crawling her way toward the door, intending to use the doorknob to help her up.
"Who were you trying to kiss and who got you drunk? Explain yourself, Potter," Snape demanded, following her to the door.
"I got myself drunk, and the rest is none of your business," she panted, trying to get herself to her feet.
"And why would you get yourself drunk," he said, quietly, flicking his wand, sending a chair sliding toward them which he forced her into, before sending it towards the fire. He followed after her, conjuring a blanket as he went, which he placed over her.
"Because I didn't want to be me for a while," Penny admitted to the flames, forgetting entirely that her potions master was listening.
Behind her Penny listened to the commotion of him pulling out ingredients, lighting a fire and placing a cauldron over it to boil. Once set up, he returned to her, "And here I thought popular Penny was her own biggest fan," Snape said, meanly, surveying her.
"Well I hate to disappoint you, but I'm not, she sucks," Penny replied, letting her head lull to the side. "I mean everyone tonight was kissing someone, maybe even more than one someone, and then there was me, even Malfoy forbade me from kissing anyone, gave me some spiel about not being ready," Penny said, banging her head against the chair.
"Malfoy is correct, you're not," Snape said, stifly.
With an unexpected surge of energy Penny sprang to her feet and turned on Snape, her ears pounding with the effort of her heart to get her up.
"And who asked me! Certainly none of you, who are making decisions for me!" Penny said, her voice considerably louder than she intended..
"Oh yes, because the ever elusive Penny Potter is ever going to give a straight answer. You still haven't even been able to utter three simple words and you expect me to feel sorry for you because you have been saved from your own self-destructive behaviour?" he sneered.
"Is that really what you think after I spent weeks in your home? You think that because I avoid those words I haven't tried, absorbed everything, clung to every word you shared? You want to hear me say it, Severus Snape, like my feelings will somehow magically gain merit? Fine," she said, stepping toward him. "Cedric is dead. Murdered, gone, never coming back! There, do I get to have a say now?" she practically yelled, her chest heaving.
Snape stared at her, his eyes probing her, seeing beyond the hostility of her words. He did not return her harshness, rather he watched, waiting for what he expected. And then, against her will, they came. The tears burned her eyes and though she tried to fight them, they still prevailed against her, sliding down her cheek and betraying the sorrow in her heart.
Snape walked towards her, reached past her and pulled the blanket she'd discarded from the chair. He looked down at her, Penny gritting her teeth in angry defiance against the outburst of emotion. She wanted to rail, rage, and accuse Snape, but the tears kept coming and all Penny could do was try to focus on the pair of dark eyes above her that were even blurrier now.
Snape wrapped the blanket around her shoulders, taking a loose end and wiping the tears from her cheek with it.
"I think you should not be so uselessly afraid of crying," he said, pausing a moment to consider her, his thumb absent-mindedly rubbing her shoulder, "and-I did not like going home once you'd gone."
Four Snape's looked down at her, the air constricting in her chest, her legs pushing her forward, albeit clumsily. She stumbled into him, pressing her head against his chest to cry, his hands remaining on her shoulders.
"I'm sorry," she managed, trying to reel in her emotions. "For yesterday, being rude, and all of it, for all the trouble I have ever caused you," she hiccuped.
"Shut up, Potter, I am not interested in your apologies. What I want is for you to gain an appreciation for common sense." Though it was evident he was trying to deliver his words without his normal condescension, they were so absurd for the moment that Penny could not help but break into a fit of laughter, causing her to half choke on sobs and half choke on laughter.
"Have you forgotten the severity of the situation you are in?" Snape said, eyes narrowing coldly on her.
"Considering on the scale of wasted from one to ten I'm about a ten, no I don't think I ever knew."
"If you tell me who you were with I shall consider-"
"This was the first time I've ever been invited to the night of mayhem, so, no, I don't think I'll be snitching."
Snape drew away from her, holding her at arm's length, "Who invited you!" he demanded in a dangerous voice.
Penny merely smiled up at him, miming a zipper across her lips, a gesture that seemed to only serve to make him angrier. "I warn you, Potter, if you do not tell me you will have detention for the next month," he hissed.
"This is the most coveted student tradition in Hogwarts history, you did not really think that weak threat would honestly be enough to convince me to be a traitor?" Penny said, freeing herself from Snape and going in search of some water.
"Tradition! They are nothing but a bunch of rule breaking brats who delude themselves into believing they're special by creating a false sense of exclusivity."
Penny began looking over Snape's desk, picking up a clear vial and sniffing it. It was odorless, but that did not mean it was water, but before she could test it, Snape ripped it from her grasp.
"Yes, because you have never been seduced by such marketing," Penny said, sardonically, moving to the table across the room where Snape intercepted her.
"I'd be careful with your insinuations, Potter. This exchange could go quite poorly for you."
"Don't you have any water in here?" Penny demanded, feeling unbelievably thirsty.
With an impatient flick of his wand, a black mug appeared, which he forced into her hands. She downed it in a gulp and handed it back expectantly. His lip curling, he filled it again. This happened several more times until Penny felt she had quenched her thirst, after which she returned to her chair, her head beginning to throb.
"Look at me, Potter, I will ask you one last time," he said, bending low and taking her chin into his hands.
She opened one eye and peered at him. "Have you no shame, Professor? Not only are you interrogating a drunk girl, you are now trying to take the information against my will? I'll warn you, I have already punched one sorry fellow tonight, I'd prefer not to make it two," she yawned.
Drowsiness was taking her, her mind drifting far from the room around her, the blanket warm and soft, coaxing her further into her dreams. She was so far gone she did not even stir when Snape yelled "POTTER!" But she would surely face his wrath when she woke next.