Hey all! I am so happy to have finished this chapter on time. I'd finished my editing and then accidentally lost every I'd done, which was like 2 hours of work. I was so annoyed I honestly didn't think I'd come back and finish this weekend, BUT I DID ITTT. lol a good sleep does a lot for the angry soul ;)
Just so everyone is aware, I HATEE CHO CHANG, so the Cho bashing is real in this chapter, but being in high school requires some social drama does it not? Our poor Penny is finding out what it's like to no longer be the favorite! Something I feel like Snape would be happy about because he loathes popularity lol
BUT PENNY WON'T STAY DOWN FOR LONGG 3 I love you all and I hope you have a nice week and forgive my lack of updates last week! xx
Penny had never been bothered by the things other people said about her before. In fact, she'd always found it peculiar how worked up Harry seemed to get when people talked about him. But in reality, she'd never actually experienced the kind of invasion and bullying he'd endured. She knew he and Malfoy were always at odds, but a part of her just tuned it out because she found it too tiresome to get involved. At some point they'd both (Harry and Malfoy) just accepted Penny would forever remain neutral, which Penny was beginning to understand was a true act of unconditional sibling love on Harry's part.
With word of Penny's relationship with Ginny spreading like wildfire in the school, Penny found herself at the center of more attention, a lot of which was negative, than she cared to have. Penny had been bullied by the Durmstrangs the year before, but she found that much more tolerable, even though they'd definitely gone out of their way to cause her bodily harm. She'd found some sense of comfort in how her peers had come to her defense and rallied around her, even with the knowledge that the Durmstrangs had good cause for disliking Penny.
That goodwill was long dead, with many people, mostly Ravenclaws, believing her moving on was an insult to Cedric's memory and that Penny's relationship with him must have been fake, and even speculated she'd been cheating on Cedric long before he died. Others, mostly awful boys like Nott, harassed Penny ceaselessly, making derogatory remarks any chance they got. Her less vocal critics opted for stealing her things if she left them unattended, filling her bag with stink pods when she wasn't looking, and tripping her if they passed her in the halls.
About the only good thing to come from the entire situation was her and Harry being able to resolve (her) anger over their fight. Harry was the rock Penny needed, more and more, Penny felt like he was the only one to understand her feelings on the subject. Hermione, from the goodness of her heart, expressed her sympathies, but they felt shallow at best, especially when she followed it with suggesting Penny speak to the headmaster, as though Dumbledore could magically garner favor for Penny in everyone's mind's eye. And Ron, he could not begin to comprehend how the relationship came to be, and became horrendously awkward if Ginny even sat near Penny. However, when the harassment started, he seemed to change his tune, and began using his position as a prefect to make life annoying for anyone he caught so much as mentioning Ginny or Penny's names.
But none of them except for Harry understood how much Penny wished for a private moment, for the ability to enter the Great Hall without someone muttering about her. It was in the solace of Harry's mind, in that connection no one else could intrude on, that Penny felt at peace and like she could just be herself again.
After their fight, or whatever their mortifying encounter had been, Penny had been successfully avoiding Snape, who at first, seemed to also be ignoring Penny. But as Penny persisted in brushing him off and not so much as looking at him, he seemed to become more intent upon demanding her attention. Seeing as Penny was forced to be alone in his company every couple of days, there was only so much avoidance she could do, so she had to quickly work out how to pretend to be unfazed by the man. So far, she'd barely managed and nearly given into getting into an argument, but had managed to make her escape before he'd succeeded in breaking her.
This morning, her head throbbing and whole body aching, she walked to his office and entered without so much as knocking. Kicking the chair aside, she plopped herself onto her usual spot on the top of his desk and tapped her foot impatiently.
"You're late," said Snape's cool voice as he snapped the door she'd left open shut.
"You do realize the Gryffindor tower is on the complete opposite side of the castle, right?"
Snape stepped up to her, his cold eyes scanning her appearance critically. "Cold are we?" he said with a damning arch of his brow, gesturing that she should remove her cloak, which she had wound tightly around herself as though it would protect her somehow.
Yanking it off, she tossed it onto the chair just behind her and folded her arms.
"What is this?" he said, displeasure heavy in his tone, telling Penny this encounter would not go as smoothly as she wished it would.
"You have eyes, they're called bruises."
"And pray tell me, how is it you came to have as many as a toddler learning to walk?" Snape said, his dark eyes boring into the side of her head because she was purposefully avoiding them.
"I tripped," Penny said, setting her jaw and staring determinedly at the fire.
"You tripped. . ." he said, delicately as he prodded a particularly dark bruise on her knee. "How is it you managed to mangle every part of you through one fall?"
"I didn't say I only tripped once," Penny said, stiffly.
"If you are having worsening coordination issues, you need to tell me otherwise I cannot-" said Snape snapped.
"It's not like that. The tripping wasn't my fault."
"Then whose was it?" he pressed, sounding impatient.
"Like I can keep track, but I got that one on my knee because someone cast a permanent sticking charm on my shoes yesterday in the hall," Penny said, her exasperation getting the better of her.
"And why would they do that?" Snape said after a moment, his voice becoming steadily lower.
"If you wouldn't mind, sir, I'd prefer if you stayed on task, seeing as I have class soon and my personal life is none of your business," Penny said, icily.
"And if I refuse to administer this, unless you talk?" Snape dangled the small vial before her face, he was trying to bait her yet again, but even though her head throbbed horribly and her right arm ached, she refused to let him win.
"Seeing as I am all too familiar with your complete disregard for how your actions make me feel, you'd find me unsurprised. But if you're asking me to go, then why don't you just say that?" Penny said, finally meeting the dark eyes, which considered her for a long moment, clearly testing her.
Penny got to her feet, ready to call his bluff, but he pushed her back down with an exaggerated roll of his eyes. Just to annoy her, he did not hand her the bottle of dittany, but instead pushed it into her mouth, his left hand tilting her head back so it would swish down her throat. Unprepared for the vast amount of liquid to assuage her throat, Penny coughed and choked, but managed to keep it in her mouth, afraid of losing even a drop of the blessed relief.
"Mature," she mumbled as she laid back and pulled her shirt up to give him access to her stomach.
She was prepared for the cold hands, but her stomach still tensed when their frostiness connected with her and she let out an annoyed huff, which elicited a smirk from Snape, who pressed against her organs, pushing them from side to side to make sure they felt normal. It was not the most pleasant of experiences, but Penny had become accustomed to it
"And what would you know of maturity, Ms. Potter?"
"That you never reached it."
"Is there something you would like to get off your chest?" he said in a bored voice.
"No," Penny said, simply, sitting up as soon as his hands left her stomach.
Snape, however, did not move and Penny was forced to look down at the ground to avoid being within kissing distance of the man as she waited for him to move so she could go. "If you would stop being so stubborn-"
"Then what? Then we could go back to you not having to feel guilty about what you did? Then my life would be sunshine and butterflies and I wouldn't be cursed, or a freak, or hated by the entire school? Do you want me to go back to being the happy go lucky Penny so you won't have to feel uncomfortable about reality?" Penny demanded..
Her anger, it surprised even her, but Snape more so, his face losing all color and his mouth hanging open as though he intended to respond, but the guarded look on his face told her he wasn't going to share his actual thoughts with her, he was going to construct the ones he wanted to present, and this more than anything, cemented in Penny why she was and intended to remain mad at the man. "You'll excuse me for being unconvinced that me not standing up for myself is going to fix what you did. Only you acknowledging that sometimes the pain you cause me can't be seen will do that."
And with those last words, she slid around Snape and made for the door, the hammering of her heart drowning out everything else, even his quick footsteps that followed after her. He caught her wrist, stopping Penny just before the door, but she refused to turn.
"I didn't intend to-"
"I swear to merlin if you say 'hurt you' I'll hex you" Penny interrupted. "Because we both know the only thing you didn't intend for was me to find out!"
"Don't pretend like your response wasn't decided before asking me, Potter. You were never going to give me a chance to explain! You are all too eager to ignore the way that half-breed consistently chooses to bury his head in the sand, to let you pretend your life can be as normal as anyone else's. Well it isn't, there is nothing normal about you and playing make believe won't change the fact that Yaxley isn't going to stop coming for you!" Snape said, coldly, forcing Penny around to face him.
Penny locked in his grip, his eyes locked in hers; Penny shook from head to toe; he stood as still as the cold wall behind him, both their anger meeting somewhere between each other and colliding, the shockwaves of which reminded Penny of a storm.
"YAXLEY ISN'T HERE AND WASN'T ANYWHERE NEAR ME UNTIL YOU-"
"How ignorant are you going to pretend to be! You stupid girl, grow up! That wretched woman only ended up at Hogwarts because she had an expressed interest in doing so! Must I impress upon you that that interest is you!"
Subconsciously, Penny gripped the crook of her elbow where Umbridge had hooked her to the damned machine, the bruise yelling angrily at her. She knew the words Snape spoke were all too true, had felt their reality, had gone so far as to walk different ways to class to avoid the wicked woman, but she would not allow him to use that fact to avoid responsibility for his choices.
"You think after all of the bullshit, starting with the Durmstrangs looking for any opportunity to hurt me; Yaxley; the MACUSA, and Amycus that I do not understand the implications of her being here? That the prospect of pain and suffering does not register in my head? Tell me, how many fifteen year olds do you know who have been beaten up, thrown off a broom, tortured under the guise of 'experimentation' and cut open like a slice of meat? Do I get no credit in your eyes for still being here, for still finding things worth getting up everyday for? That kind of pain, I know how to endure, but you lying to me when I trusted you-handing me over to that vile friend of yours- that is what I find unbearable."
"When have you ever trusted me!" Snape seethed, his eyes flashing with anger.
"You think I've never trusted you?" Penny said, dangerously. "What, so the entirety of our time together wasn't enough to convince you? Because you're an absolute moron if that's the case. Even if you had the slightest bit of doubt, the summer should have confirmed there isn't a person I trust more than you."
"It's convenient of you to say that now, but you ignore how for all our time spent together you still always questioned my motives in ways you never did the half-breed!"
"What does Remus have to do with anything?"
"You even call him by-"
"His name?" Penny offered, snark evident in both her tone and sneer. "Is that it, are you jealous? Have you been waiting with bated breath for me to use your first name? Because I can empathize, seeing as I've asked you to use mine for five years now. "
"Tell me, Potter, do you suppose your half-breed would worship you if he'd ever seen this side of you?" Snape sneered.
"Oh, no, no, no, you think me using your name would somehow symbolize how I really feel about you, so let's see if it makes you feel any differently," Penny went on, completely disregarding Snape's attempt to move the conversation in a different direction. Her anger at his inability to see the bigger picture and the truth embedded in the sheer amount of hours they'd spent together got the best of her, egging her into meanness. "Severus, I want you to know I think you are the most infuriating, dense, and ignorant git when you've been caught in a lie," Penny said, widening her doe-eyes and looking up at him through her long lashes like a simpering idiot.
"There it is, the self-absorbed brat. What do you expect of me, Potter, when all of our interactions are laced with your disdain? Did you delude yourself into believing it would produce affection in me because I have this mark on my arm?" he snarled.
"Need I remind you that I was e-l-e-v-e-n when I arrived to your office and you didn't so much as look at me when you called me dumb and told me to leave, so whatever the nature of our relationship is, you only have yourself to blame."
"And even then, you were insolent and demanded my attention!"
"Answer me honestly, Severus, would you have wanted me to be the the kind of girl who nodded and said 'yes sir' that day, after you'd been so rude to dismiss me, the kind of girl, who, when tied to that chair would have been shaking like some pathetic girl and said 'yes sir' to Yaxley?" Penny said, derisively.
"Don't call me that! I am your-" Snape spat.
"Professor? Yes, I know you are, which is why I call you that, unlike Remus, who is no longer my Professor, so I call him by his name. Regardless, the question still stands."
"And you wonder why it is that I do not throw myself at you and your every emotional whim! You have provided zero evidence for these emotions you claim to have, and then you vilify me for pointing such facts out!"
"First, don't think I didn't notice you didn't answer my question. And secondly, I'm sorry, but, what?" Penny said, shaking her head in disbelief at the man before her. "Did you need a blood oath in order to believe me? Is that it, you Slytherins only believe in loyalty and friendship when it's burned into your arm, right?" Penny said, coldly, glancing at his left arm.
"See!"
"Yes, why don't we see. You want proof, Severus Snape? Fine, I'll give you proof." Penny continued, reaching for her magic and calling the man's paring knife from his cupboard to her.
"What do you think you're doing-" Snape said, dangerously as she snatched the knife with her left hand.
Though her hand was still caught in his grasp, it was turned upward and she was able to slash her own palm before he could stop her, blood pooling in it.
"C'mon Professor, you aren't afraid are you? You want proof, don't you? Well here it is," said Penny, stepping towards him in defiance.
"Give me the knife," he said, his voice shaking now, the first sign of his composure breaking Penny had seen.
"Where would be the fun in that, hmm? I'm ready to make a blood pact, aren't you" Penny said, cocking her head to the side.
He stared her down on her, his whole frame shaking, the hand clutching her wrist so hard it bruised her. "I won't ask again."
"Fine, I'll give it to you, but let it be understood that we know the one who refuses to trust the other isn't me," Penny said, throwing the knife to the floor and yanking her hand free. Then she stepped forward, her eyes never leaving his and reached for his left forearm with her bleeding hand, not caring she was getting blood all over his shirt. "It was never in spite of this, it was just you, I only ever saw you. Why won't you let yourself believe that?" she said, unable to keep the bitterness from her tone.
"Because everyone lies, Ms. Potter," Snape said, his voice cold and collected. He pulled his arm from her grasp and moved past her to open the door, standing aside to indicate he wanted her to leave.
He left her there, staring at her own empty hand, the blood from which pattered to the floor, its melody melancholic, a blaring reminder of the burning rejection he'd just given her. She didn't know how she'd expected him to respond, and she knew she'd gone too far. But she hadn't lied. Those words had been the thoughts that had plagued her heart and she'd shared them for the man she'd seen glimpses of over the summer, the one who held her in her grief and made her believe all would be well, because he was there.
But that man was nowhere to be found when she turned, it was the stony-faced Death Eater, Dumbledore's greatest spy, who let no one in and had no room for anyone in his heart. His facade was up, his walls somehow higher and his resolve fortified. He looked at Penny, but it wasn't she he saw. No- he looked past her. But he could not hide the truth of his choice, because that darkness she'd seen in him, it wafted over his walls and told Penny that Snape was more afraid of letting her in than watching her go, he was used to watching others go, so go Penny went, without another word, she left him to that dark place of his, her heart hating every step she took away from him.
Getting through to Snape was an impossible task that Penny did not have the emotional energy for, and apparently nor did he because he stopped his attempts to speak to her after their last discussion, with the both of them thoroughly ignoring the others existence. Penny couldn't help but notice that while her essay had a red O scrawled in the corner, the normal notes he left on her essays were missing. She suspected he likely hadn't even bothered to read it, which infuriated her more even as Malfoy flattered her for her intelligence after shamelessly looking over her shoulder to see what she'd scored.
Evening detentions with Snape were proving to be equally as unbearable because he'd offered her services to the awful caretaker, Filch, in an obvious attempt to continue to avoid her. This meant Penny had to endure the incessant complaints of the greasy, ill-mannered caretaker for three hours every night as he forced her to polish all the chains and manacles that he kept locked up in the dungeons in hopes that one day he would again be allowed to use them on the students. Penny couldn't help feel that day was coming sooner than later considering the vile methods of Umbridge, who'd no doubt see nothing wrong with beating students into submission.
When Friday afternoon came, Penny was all too happy to escape the castle and watch the Gryffindor quidditch team practice, Penny finding herself very curious as to how well Ron actually played. When she arrived, she found a group of Slytherins, led, of course, by Malfoy, already there and primed for jeering at their biggest rival.
"There you are, you've been a naughty girl not showing up to ur dates" Malfoy said, clicking his tongue in disapproval and grabbing her wrist to yank her onto the bench beside him.
"You sure I can sit here? I am a part of the enemy team after-all," Penny joked.
"Don't be absurd, we come from noble families, we are not so barbaric that we would make you sit alone, that's ridiculous. Anyway, you did your part for the Slytherin team refusing to join Gryffindor's and making them choose that destitute imp as Keeper, that makes you like an unofficial mascot, doesn't it?" Malfoy said with such authority that the Slytherins around him had to murmur in agreement and a few even slapped Penny on the back in approval.
"For the sake of camaraderie, I'm gonna go ahead and choose not to respond."
"Good girl," Malfoy smirked. "Now that I've got you out of hiding, what are we going to do about that wench?"
"Uh, which one are we talking about?" Penny asked, searching his cool grey eyes in confusion.
"Honestly, Penny, for being so intelligent you are absolutely oblivious. I'll give you a losing-your-virginity pass, but if we are going to continue this friendship you will need to pay more attention."
"Pay attention to what?" Penny replied, somewhat defensively.
"To life outside of your lovers quarrels with Snape," he saId, dryly, eliciting a laugh from Crabbe and Goyle.
"I didn't-"
But Penny wasn't able to finish her sentence because Malfoy had already put his hand up to stop her. "Spare me your delusional denials, anyone who has eyes and exists in this castle can feel the tension between you two, but I will not waste my energy on helping you with that, because let's be honest, you two are hopeless. The inevitable kinky sex is your only hope."
Penny made to stomp on his foot, but Malfoy and his seeker reflexes had expected her, and she ended up smashing her own foot into the bench in front of them "Alright, cupid, what do you intend to help me with then?" Penny said, an edge to her voice that garnered her a warning look from Malfoy.
"The Chang girl. It was her and her gang of desperate and classless tarts that started that rumor you cheated on Diggory. Obviously, I cannot permit it, you and Diggory were disgustingly adorable for a hetero-couple and that petty bitch will not tarnish the memory of it because she's jealous and isn't pretty enough to keep anyone's attention."
"Wait, Cho Chang started that? She's the reason I've been getting accosted in the halls?" Penny demanded, her brain registering what he was saying.
"Do try to keep up," Malfoy said, impatiently. "We need to bury her. But how-"
"Malfoys knows everyone's business," Penny muttered to herself, a sudden, very bad, but very satisfying idea coming to her. When Malfoy gave her a questioning look, she continued. "That's what you told me before you got me drunk and sold me out to Snape."
"Your point?"
"I'm surprised no one's done it yet I can't be the only one who's thought of it. . .But we can start a column, like an anonymous gossip column, call it the Hogwarts Howler or something, but anyway, if we distribute it, selectively, with your information-"
"You beautiful, brilliant, vixen, if you weren't a girl, I'd kiss you," Draco said, slowly rounding on her and looking at her as though he'd never truly seen her before.
"So you're in?" Penny smirked.
"As a prefect, I can agree to be your source and compile the list of those you are to distribute to, but otherwise I cannot be connected in order to remain blameless when you are eventually discovered. So you will have to find someone else to help you design it" Malfoy said, leaning in so the other Slytherins wouldn't overhear them.
"I think I know just the two to help."
Ron's practice was especially abysmal with the Slytherins jeering at him, which Penny had been too preoccupied to notice, having been bent close to Malfoy planning the first issue of the Hogwarts Howler. When she had looked away from him, she couldn't help but cringe when Ron repeatedly missed catching easy tosses of the quaffle. It was an ill omen of what was to come for their season. Harry would need to get really good at catching the snitch fast if the Gryffindor team was to have any hope.
By the time they'd finished up the sun was setting, reminding Penny she would be returning to her torturous detentions with Filch, so she bade farewell to Malfoy and raced off to the Gryffindor changing room, where she found a shirtless Fred chatting animatedly to the rest of the team.
When Penny entered, Harry quickly pulled his shirt over his head, Fred, however, crossed the room, and not bothering to finish getting dressed, threw his arm over Penny.
"There she is, I was just telling Angelina that we really should convince Dumbledore to let us have cheerleaders like the Muggles do. I said your legs were an absolute shoe in for those short skirts they wear," he grinned, dragging her towards George.
"Fred, have you forgotten, we might have to ask Ginny if she's into sharing the wealth," George pointed out.
"Oh, she is, I asked her already, she wants to see those thighs of yours too," Fred winked, letting Penny go and sitting beside George, but still not bothering to put his shirt on.
She couldn't help but notice how well defined his abs were so she turned deliberately to look at George, who was fully clothed just as Harry walked up, Ron trailing behind him, looking disgruntled. "Why were you sitting with the Slytherins?" he demanded.
"I was talking to Malfoy, and he was sitting with the Slytherins," Penny corrected.
"Did you go selectively deaf?"
"Listen mate, Penny is a divine force of nature, but even she can't take on 12 Slytherins," George interjected.
"Maybe, but getting chummy with those gits seems pretty disloyal, if you ask me," Ron argued, turning and leaving before anyone could respond.
"He's just in a bad mood," Harry shrugged when Penny gave him a questioning look.
"It's fine," Penny said, wrapping her arms around Harry's neck and pulling him with her to the bench. "I have a proposition," she went on, turning away from Harry to look at the twins who gave her their full attention. "If you want our answers for your homework, you need only ask, Penny, we of course give discounts to our third," Fred said.
"Why would I need answers?" Penny said, incredulously.
"We know you have detention every day this month because you didn't stay with us on the night of Mayhem. But Fred it was here who let you go, so we accept responsibility for your hardship," George replied.
"It's not like that," Penny laughed.
"What are you planning?" Harry said, looking at her suspiciously.
Turning to him, Penny gave him a mischievous smile, "Only if you promise not to tell anyone, not even Ron and Hermione, I'll tell you."
"Why can't I tell them?"
"Because if you tell Ron he will be compelled to tell Hermione and if Hermione knows, then she will report us because she is incapable of letting known rule breaking go unpunished," Penny said, giving Harry a knowing look.
"This gets more intriguing by the second," mused Fred, finally pulling a shirt over his head.
"Fine. I promise to say nothing, except to Snuffles, if I deem it necessary," Harry agreed.
Penny considered him for a moment and then shook her head, getting to her feet to better make her proposal.
"I want to start a Hogwarts paper, anonymously. I already have a source and distributor, but I need help with producing it," Penny said, turning pointedly to Fred and George.
"Why anonymously?" Harry said, before Fred and George could say anything.
"Because she is obviously going to write things that will make others mad," George answered.
"That's not very nice. Why would you want to do that?" Harry asked, turning with his wide green eyes on Penny.
"I just want a bit more control over what's being said about me, and I'd like the ability to refute Cho Chang's lies about me," Penny said, trying to keep her voice even.
"Cho is really nice, I saw her the other week in the Owlery."
At Harry's words, Fred and George could not help but roll their eyes, but they refrained from answering.
"She's the reason everyone is harassing me, Harry."
"How can you be sure? And that's not a very good reason to start acting like Rita Skeeter."
"I didn't say that," Penny said, stepping back as Harry got to his feet.
"But that's what your intent is."
"Listen, mate, George and I have already heard first hand Cho distributing lies about Penny, so maybe take a seat?" Fred said, getting to his feet too.
George followed quickly after clearly deciding it was better to diffuse the situation than take sides."I don't think that's what Penny was saying. Remaining anonymous is appealing for plenty of reasons."
"Right," Harry said, looking thoroughly unconvinced. "If you do this, then do it honestly," Harry said to Penny, swinging his bag over his shoulder.
"Are you going to snitch on me then?" Penny asked.
"No, but you know where I stand and I hope that means something," Harry said, giving her a kiss on the cheek before taking his leave.
Penny watched his messy head of black hair disappear into the distance, feeling conflicted. But Fred and George would not let her dwell on it for long, pulling her back toward them, their eyes full of mischievous intent.
"We'll do it," they said in unison. "Under one condition," George added.
"Name it."
"We get to freely advertise our Skiving Snackboxes and all future products of the Weasley's Wizard Wheezes," said Fred, grabbing his bag and moving toward the door.
Penny pretended to be deep in thought about his request and then finally turned on them with a huge grin and nodded. With a slap on the back, they began asking Penny about when the first issue would need to be released and whether or not they could bring Lee Jordan in on the project.
By the time they reached the Great Hall, they'd already worked through the logistics, with only a few minor details to be discussed after Penny's detention. She was supposed to meet Ginny but she felt sure Ginny would agree to go with and help with the new endeavor. Her spirits unusually high, Penny couldn't even be annoyed when Filch met her at the stairs and led her to an old storage room where he sent her on the hunt for three obscure items, hidden within the endless pile of things he'd confiscated from students and tossed idly into the room.
In regards to Snape and Penny's fight, I think there are a lot of factors involved on both sides. We all have struggles going beneath the surface and I think Snape is struggling more with other things alongside trying to accept he hurt Penny. And Penny, well she's fed up with not having a voice, but more so Snape's lie, I think it went a lot deeper for her and she doesn't know what it means or how to process it, but she just wants him to understand WHY IT HURTS. (its love you big dumie)
toodles xxx