Side One: sigh why I all of StarClans name am I doing this?
Side Two: Because you love getting reviews, and you swore to serve the public and create talk (read) shows.
Side Three: well. I say that this whole this was a complete waste of time.
Side One: sigh I guess on with the talk (read) show.
Reporter: Hello this is your stunning reporter back with more kitty-cat interview of the forest Tribes! Today we're interviewing the wise and skilled ThunderClan leader, BLUESTAR!
Bluestar: Hello, erm, hi. My name's Bluestar, and uh, I'm on a talk (read) show right now gulp. Oh, uh, and it's the forest Clans not Tribes.
Reporter: whatever. Now Bluestar, tell me about your life.
Bluestar: well, I was born from the ThunderClan warrior Sootspots, who is now One-Eye. (While she is talking, the beautiful reporter begins filing her very long, pointy nails and pretends to be listening with an occasional giving an 'uhuh' and 'interesting'. Finally Bluestar noticed she-s not paying attention and stops to stare at her.) And I finally became a warrior when… (At this point she noticed the reporter is not listening.)
Reporter: Uhuh, yep, that's right, cool, nice, yup, ok, uhuh (the gorgeous reporter suddenly realizes that Bluestar had stopped talking.) Oh! Um, yah, very interesting, Bluestar. Err, how about we talk about your kits, Mistyfur and Stonefoot.
Bluestar whiskers twitch irritably: That's Mistyfoot and Stonefur. And they're doing just fine. Well, at least Mistyfoot is, Stonefur died when Blackstar killed him d… (Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeep Bluestar, during this time, curses an unmanageably long time, it is surprising her little kitty-cat lungs can hold so much air)
Reporter cuts her neck using her hand to signal for Bluestar to stop and hastily she does: Whew, Bluestar, I'll alert you when I want to start using a hearing aid. You sure know a lot of Twoleg swear words. ANYWAY, Bluestar, how did you fall for Oakheart, the RiverClan deputy, when there was a cat right in front of you who loved you?
Bluster (hesitates): there was a cat in ThunderClan who loved me?
Reporter sighs: RECAP PLEASE.
Book Four, Rising Storm, Page 142.
"Yes, what is it?" asked Bluestar (that's YOU)
"I…I just was wondering if you were hungry." Fireheart stammered.
"Oh." Bluestar (you AGAIN) sounded puzzled, "Thank you, but WHITESTORM already brought me something." She dipped her head towards the half-eaten pigeon that lay on the floor in her den.
Reporter: Ring any bells?
Bluestar: Fireheart?...
Reporter: NO! NO! NO! It's WHITESTORM you mouse-brained person! He loved you! He loved you even before you met Oakheart!
Bluestar: Whitestorm…loved me?
Reporter sighs again: Do we REALLY have to go back to the recap?
Bluestar: Alright, Alright, I get it. Whitestorm did love me. But I did love him, for a short while, he was a wise, and experienced warrior. I loved him for a short time before I met Whitestorm, but he was to intent on serving his Clan, while all I wanted was love.
Reporter: …………………CHEESEY MUCH! Goodness where do get these stupid and corny lines! sigh well, we're done with the interview; this is your beautiful and stunning reporter, with wavy-strait locks of dark brown hair and gorgeous hazel-rimmed chestnut eyes.
Bluestar: And the wise and strong ThunderClan leader Bluestar!
Reporterpauses: wise and strong? You broke down after you learned that Tigerstar was a traitor! Goodness! A MOUSE has more brawn then you! Once again, this is you beautiful reporter signing off from interviewing your unwise and weak ThunderClan kit, Bluekit!
Bluestar: Wha? Oh no you don't!
(the picture ends with Bluestar tackling the beautiful reporter, who begins to pull objects like stoves and dishwashers out of her pockets in order to protect herself and make a blockade to protect herself from the violent and crazy manic cat trying to get her as she hangs from the top of a chandelier.