I'm glad ya'll liked the last chapter. I actually really traumatized myself writing the Nagini scene. I spent a lot of time REALLY thinking how awful it would be to be EATEN ALIVE and just really traumatized myself. But it helped me with this chapter. I'll warn you, it's heavy. :( But Ive slipped in some important and interesting clues, so happy searching!

Also, I'll give a prize to anyone who locates the Pride and Prejudice quote in this chapter, teheh. IT HAD TO HAPPENNN. I'm curious to know if there are any P&P lovers. The quote is from the 2005 film.

I love ya'll, and I hope I don't make you too sad with this!

"Really, Albus, she has demanded to know why the child is in here. Naturally, I reminded her that Miss Potter's medical needs are private, but Dolores insists on seeing her," Madam Pomfrey huffed as Dumbledore entered the small room.

Because of several panic attacks, and apparently the snooping of Professor Umbridge, Madam Pomfrey had moved Penny into the more private ward that she normally used for issues that were highly contagious in order to give Penny a bit more privacy. Their conversation continued, but Penny did not pay it any mind, she was sitting up in bed, staring blankly at the wall, Professor Snape standing just to the right of the bed leaning against the window, which he turned away from every so often to peer at Penny, looking as though he wanted to speak to her, but he never did break the silence.

The man had somehow managed to get Penny to stop screaming, helping her breathe through her panic attack and grounding her. There'd been several more following the first after Penny had woken from her poison-induced slumber and she was currently wearing a bandage on her head for the nasty gash she'd given herself when she dove from her bed,

From the little information she'd bothered to take in, Penny's tumble had woken the other girls in her dormitory, who had found her seizing and went for Professor McGonagall. Hermione, brilliant Hermione, had the wherewithal to look through Penny's bed for any clues pointing to the cause of her illness and found the empty vial, which she gave to Professor McGonagall who'd arrived shortly thereafter.

This is what led Professor Snape to be woken, and of course he knew exactly what Penny had done and why. Whether he'd shared the information with others, Penny neither knew nor cared. Other than the information she'd admitted to when she'd woken in panic, Snape had gained nothing more from her about what she'd found hiding in her memories. Though Penny didn't feel he'd tried very hard, he seemed to avoid the topic even though he hadn't left her side since she'd woken, and only spoke the few times she'd spiral into another panic attack. He seemed to be ruminating on what she had shared, but Penny could not ponder why. After several panic attacks, she was terrified of having another, so she spent all her energy resisting the thoughts, memories and feelings that were trying to drown her. She refused to sleep, eat, or see Harry. She sat rigidly, staring at the same spot, forcing her mind not to wander, willing herself not to remember. . . .

Penny couldn't help but scowl seeing the headmaster, she knew what he'd come for, and it wasn't just to check in on her. When Dumbledore shut the door, Penny avoided his blue eyes as he said, "Severus. Miss Potter, I am happy to see you up. Unfortunately, I was away from Hogwarts when you fell ill or I would have arrived sooner. Thankfully we have one as skilled as Severus here, who Poppy tells me we are to thank for your being conscious," Dumbledore said in that infuriatingly pleasant voice, like the world was normal, like nothing had changed. She wanted to yell at him and tell him it wasn't! The world-life, it was frighteningly more fragile to Penny, who's heart dangerously skipped a beat, reminding her that any moment she could slip back into that horrible place, the one death owned and tormented her in.

"We find ourselves in quite the tricky situation. As you may already be aware, Dolores Umbridge has a particular interest in your welfare, but it seems we cannot tell her the true nature of your stay," Dumbledore said, his blue eyes glinting knowingly when Penny glanced sideways at him.

Penny didn't care about Umbridge, or anything else for the moment, she just wanted Dumbledore to get to the point, for him to admit to what he was going to make her do.

"From what Severus has shared with me, I understand that the poisoning was of your own doing, in hopes to retrieve a memory, if I understand correctly," Dumbledore went on when Penny said nothing. He paused, waiting for her response, but all Penny could muster was a nod, which sufficed for him. "And this memory, it was not the one you thought you would find and instead concerns the two months you were missing last year?"

"Yes, sir," Penny muttered, her voice sounding unnaturally hoarse to her.

"I'll ask you to forgive Severus, but he told me what he believes to have occurred during that time based on what you said," Dumbledore said, finding a chair and pulling it up beside Penny, his voice gentle.

Dumbledore let silence settle between them, Penny feeling both pairs of eyes on her. He wanted her to say something, but she did not know what she was supposed to say, she had no words to form, no thoughts she trusted to share, so against her impulses, she dragged her gaze away from the wall and turned to her headmaster.

Reflected in his spectacles was a shell of a girl, who's eye bags were so deep it looked like a corpse looking back at herself. Even worse was the pity that looked back at her in the blue eyes. In Dumbledore's kind and intelligent eyes was the understanding that Penny was different now, that something had been taken from her that she could not get back-in his eyes she saw grief.

"I have the loathsome task, Penny, of asking you to recount a horrible ordeal, but I do so as the one bearing responsibility for the negligence that resulted in the situation, and not as your headmaster. I sit here as a member of the Order of the Phoenix, as one who has spent every waking moment the last several months opposing Voldemort-"

"The Dark Lord!" Snape hissed, reacting instantly as Penny recoiled, grabbing her head in her in an attempt to banish the vision of the grotesque creature that was thrust upon her at the mention of his vile name, her heart speeding up and the fear bottled up in her chest getting close to combusting.

Snape caught hold of the fingers that were trying to rip the hair from her own head. "You are the master of your mind, there is nothing there that you do not allow," Snape said, repeating the words he'd used every time she spiralled into this kind of panic.

To Penny's relief, the stirrings in her chest settled as soon as Snape's hand grasped hers and she was able to focus on him, preventing the full blown attack. When her tenseness slackened, he released her and sat himself against the sill of the window, arms folded and addressed the headmaster. "His name is a trigger. If you wish this to get anywhere, heed my word and spare her your lecture on the topic," Snape said, clearly annoyed with Dumbledore.

Dumbledore bowed his head in agreement and turned back to Penny.

"It is a lot to ask, I know, but if I thought I could spare you any pain postponing this, I would."

"I can't-" Penny said, her voice cracking. "Please don't make me speak of it, it's-" Penny went on, glancing nervously at Snape, who's hawkish eyes narrowed suspiciously on her. She could not let him find the truth within her, hear the horrible thoughts that had plagued her.

"And if I propose a method that would not require you to speak, would you be amenable to that?"

"You mean enter my mind?"

"Indeed. I think perhaps you are familiar with the process?"

"Yes. . ." Penny said quietly, shifting uncomfortably. ". . . he looked. It was. . .different. . .from when Harry and I share our minds. . .it hurt."

"The Dark Lord was known for having little care for the minds of others," Dumbledore said with an edge to his voice that caused Penny to look back at him, finding a distinct look of disgust on his face. "I assure you, Penny, that I will take the utmost care where I tread and if at any moment you are ready to call it quits, you need only squeeze my hand," Dumbledore said, returning the kind smile to his face as he offered his left hand.

With a nod, she accepted the hand tentatively, finding it soft and warm, so unlike Snape's hands, her other reaching to grasp the bedsheets.

"If you are able to pull forward the memory yourself, this will be easier, if not, no worries, it'll just take me a moment to locate it first."

Dumbledore counted down, Penny finding herself entranced by the sparkling blue eyes. A split second before he whispered "legilimens" she thought she saw something flash across them, it was akin to the kind of insane triumph she associated with mad-scientist in the old muggle movies she'd seen as a kid; that look they had when they convinced themselves to go to any lengths to confirm a hunch. But she was plunged into her own mind before she could be sure.

His presence was odd and Penny wasn't sure what she was looking at. It was as though she was standing on a street, one that seemed eerily similar to that of Privet Drive, except this street seemed to continue endlessly in either direction, and not a single house was visible, there was only Dumbledore standing in his deep blue robes and wizards hat beneath one of an innumerable number of lampposts.

Dumbledore did not seem the least bit concerned by their new surroundings and began muttering to himself as he considered the lampposts as though they were somehow different from each other. And then he turned and began walking decidedly in the opposite direction of Penny. She ran after him, but he seemed no to notice her, and she did not bother trying to speak with him, she was too busy looking at the lamps, which she realized were different from each other. Some were colorful, reminding Penny of Christmas lights; others taller than any lamppost she'd ever seen; some were bent over in two, barely lit and flickered dangerously as though on the verge of going out for good.

Stopping to inspect one of these broken lamps that Penny became aware of a stirring just beyond the edge of where the light reached. The shadows seemed to press against the fading light like it was waiting for the moment it could engulf it, almost as though it were alive. A horrible chill went shooting up Penny's spine as she stared into the dark and became convinced that someone or something else was looking back, watching her from the other-side.

Terrified, Penny sprinted away from the spot and found Dumbledore staring fixed at the spot Penny had just fled from. His face was stony as he looked at the shadows as though he could see what was hidden beneath. Rather abruptly he turned away and walked to the edge of the light cast from the lamp just above him and flicked his wand, sending more light shooting into the blanket of darkness.

To Penny's horror, what sounded like a thousand howling banshee's responded. She clasped her ears against the pain, but managed to follow Dumbledore's gaze to a beaten up stony path wound its way through the darkness into a patch of dense woods. At the center of the woods was a soft red glow and a pillar of rising smoke that indicated there was a house there and within the house, someone was stoking a wood fire.

Dumbledore cocked his his sideways before taking a step forward, lifting his leg high as though stepping over the line between the light of the lamp and the light of his wand, but his foot was stopped by something, something that sent a shockwave rippling through the blanket of darkness that barred them from what was beyond.

"I see. Well, I suppose it's no matter." Dumbledore said to himself and turned to continue on his path, the darkness eating up Penny's view of the woods as soon as the wand light disappeared. Humming a tune, completely undisturbed by what they'd just seen, he went on his way for some time, Penny unable to stop looking over her shoulder, certain they were being followed.

And then he stopped, examined the lamppost, said "I believe this is our stop," and extended his hand. Rather suddenly, the pair of them were sucked into the lamp. Squished and stretched, Penny found herself spat out somewhere else, the cursed sound of footsteps meeting Penny on the other side, signally the start of the memory and making Penny acutely aware of how she gripped the bed sheets beneath her, though she could not see the room. Her whole body tensed at the arrival of Voldemort and Wormtail.

Dumbledore seemed curious about the cage Penny had been held in and the response of Wormtail when Penny had tried to tempt him into betraying Voldemort. Of note to Penny, he didn't seem at all surprised by Voldemort's mutilated appearance, interest in Penny's expression or his questioning about Snape.

As the memory progressed and Penny knew what was coming, her breathing came in shallow gasps. The cursed moment came when the door creaked open and the man was dropped into a pile before Penny. His blue eyes found hers, they did not yet know what awaited him, and a cry of despair escaped Penny's lips. At this point, Penny was using all her willpower not squeezing Dumbledore's hand and therefore could not stop the blood curdling screaming that ensued.

"Albus, she's had enough!" Snape's furious voice said, but Penny had not squeezed his hand, so Dumbledore continued, Penny feeling Snape's hand on her forehead and cheek, doing his utmost to calm her. The power of the memory quickly consumed and she forgot the room, no longer able to hear Snape or feel Dumbledore's hand.

But it didn't matter because a hand could not stop the blood pouring from the man's leg, though his feebly tried. Everything became a blur of blood, the snake biting, the man begging and Penny screaming. With an unnatural clarity she watched the mouth engulf his body, noting every twitch of desperation, the utter terror on the every feature of his face. And then he was gone and Penny did not know which person she was or which motion she was actively taking. Convulsing, puking, screaming? There was no distinction between her mind, which sat safely in the Hospital Wing at Hogwarts and the memory, which teetered dangerously.

Mercifully, they were sucked back out of the dream and dropped onto the dark pavement once again, Dumbledore landing gracefully while Penny tumbled onto her face. He stroked his beard several times before making his way quickly toward another lamp only a few posts away from the one they'd just exited. Seeing it through blurry vision, Penny realized it was unlike all the others, the blue light coming from it appeared to extend straight up into the sky, if there had been a sky and continued onward until it met with another green light. But it was the lamp beneath that caught her interest. It was flashing with a glaringly bright red light, the kind one found on emergency vehicles, and was shaking as though it were holding too much electricity and were about to short circuit.

Penny, who was still on the ground, trying very hard not to vomit while battling back the images of the memory they'd just seen was not close enough to follow Dumbledore as he reached up and disappeared into the light like they'd done just a moment ago, leaving Penny alone, panting on the ground.

She stared at the spot where Dumbledore vanished, confused for several seconds, where had he gone? Hadn't he seen what he'd come to find? But then confusion was replaced with fear as a breeze brushed across Penny's face and she happened to look behind her. She watched in horror as light after light on the long street began to shutter and go out one by one, allowing the darkness to plunge forward in a cascade, a horrible screeching following in its wake. It was moving at an alarming speed toward Penny.

Jumping to her feet, Penny ran with all her strength towards the lamp that held Dumbledore, willing herself to be faster than the monster. She ran straight into the post, but caught herself before she went flinging off the street and looked up, uncertain what she should do.

"Come back Professor! We have to go! Please, sir, it's coming!" Penny yelled, shaking the post like it would drop Dumbledore from it's insides.

No response, and the blanket was only five lamps away, it's growling like thunder to Penny's ears, frightening her to her very core.

"PROFESSOR DUMBLEDORE, COME BACK IT'S GOING TO TAKE ME," Penny screamed with all her might.

The blanket was changing form, no longer an empty expanse, but with the light it had consumed, changed shape-into a giant hissing snake who was larger than any building and only getting larger. It opened its large mouth, its fangs glinting in the light, and lunged at Penny.

There was nowhere to run, nothing she could do other than watch helplessly as it dove. She cried, afraid to die and then she was engulfed, coldness creeping through every limb of her body. She was struggling to stay above it, thrashing and reaching for something, anything, but like the ocean, the depths of darkness pummeled her with its icy waves, drowning her. She coughed and spluttered, her teeth chattering and her body losing strength quickly. She was going to drown, be lost in the silent depths for eternity.

She wondered momentarily if this is what her parents and Cedric endured, were they trapped in this horrible place, perpetually drowning? Would she find them and be forced to watch them struggle too with no way to save them or herself? Just when she thought she could not fight a moment longer, a bright light blinded her from above and a hand appeared, reached down, grabbed Penny and pulled her from the darkness with ease. She tried to reach for it, to cling to it for dear life, but before she could she found herself lying limply on her bed, coughing as though her lungs actually were filled with water, her terrified eyes finding Dumbledore's hoping for an answer, something to explain what she'd just experienced.

He was looking toward her, but she knew that he did not see her. He looked grave uncharacteristically disturbed as though he'd just seen a ghost, something he could not explain. The greatest wizard of their time, someone Penny had never seen afraid, even though Voldemort hated him more than anyone else, for the first time in Penny's life look defeated-helpless. He registered Penny and his expression changed to one of great sadness, even pity before trailing past her to Snape, who loomed over them, exuding a cold fury that made Penny want to wrap her arms around herself to protect herself from it. Dumbledore looked at Snape with such sorrow that Penny thought he might cry, that he might beg his forgiveness for something, but he said nothing and then he was standing, releasing Penny's sweaty hand.

"Sometimes, Penny, there are no good answers and we must decide for ourselves what it means to be a good person. The fear you are harboring only does you harm. You have shown outstanding courage and more resilience than I have ever witnessed before. But you must ask yourself what it is you believe and if forgiveness is possible in such cases. You know I cannot give you the answer you seek, what Severus has shared with me was shared in confidence. But I tell you sincerely that I trust Severus with my life and the man I met is very different from the one I know," Dumbledore said, glancing down at her, his words causing Snape to flinch violently. "I think it is time I make my leave and allow you two the privacy to discuss things further, but before I go, I must impress upon you the importance of keeping this knowledge from Professor Umbridge, for your own safety. Poppy has agreed to make an excuse for your illness, one I encourage you not to correct, even to your closest friends."

"Albus-"

"If you would like to speak to me later, Severus, you can find me in my office, but for now, the more pressing issue is here."

With a light squeeze to Penny's hand, Dumbledore left them alone, Penny avoiding looking at her potions master, and he, shaking from head to toe. The tension between them was palpable, though Penny found it hard to pay much attention to it. She was confused by what they'd seen, but Dumbledore did not seem concerned by it, did not even mention it, so perhaps it was just another manifestation of her trauma? She was not completely convinced, something about it all had felt too real, like it'd been alive. But Dumbledore's words had brought forth a more pressing issue. The one she'd been struggling with since she'd woken, the wedge that now sat between her and her beloved Professor.

"I have sat beside you the last fifteen and a half hours; listened to every agonized scream; done all within my power to help you, and yet you refused-but he shows up and within less than a minute you have showed him that which you have deemed me unsuitable to know," Snape said, his mouth barely moving.

"I had to-" It was a bad lie, an insulting lie, Penny knew this before it even left her lips, but she did not know how to say the truth, was scared to tell him the truth.

"Don't lie to me, Potter!" Snape all but yelled.

"If I don't there is no coming back from it!" Penny said, turning furiously on Snape.

"Of course, not trusting me is suddenly in my best interest, is it? Tell me how it is you came to that conclusion when it is you who stole from my stores and nearly killed yourself again. Regardless of the betrayal of my trust, I still came, Potter. Even knowing your foolish designs I refrained, pulled you from the permanent consequences of your stupidity-oh yes, you were close, so do not try to scoff as though I were exaggerating. Do you have any idea what I endured-if you hadn't woken- my stores!" he accused, floundered and stamped, his anger hitting Penny like a grenade.

"I made a choice I cannot take back and it's changed everything for me, but I can understand why I did it, why I thought bringing us here was better than not knowing. But it wasn't better, I've made a terrible mistake! I won't make it worse, I can't, if we go there, we can't come back. You are not a fool like me, don't break it all just for the sake of knowing. Hold onto this, hold onto us. I'm begging you with every fibre of my being, just listen to me when I ask you to drop it," Penny pleaded, her lower lip trembling and the heart in her chest feeling as though it was going to break in half.

"YOU TOLD HIM!" Snape screamed, pulling out his wand and magicking the door locked, anticipating the banging that soon followed. "She is a PATIENT!" Penny heard Madam Pomfrey say before he swished his wand a second time, all going silent beside his ragged breathing. "He, who has cared for your brother, but never you! And still you would-into your mind! I little patience for pretty words and empty gestures, but everything-it was for you, it was always for you. So tell me, how it is you still refuse to give me even the most mediocre of trust!"

His words hit Penny with a thunderous crash, almost breaking her resolve, making her afraid, not of him, never him, but of what she feared she could not escape. She looked into the tormented face, saw the pain etched in the lines she knew so well, held the dark eye's she always searched for, and she felt she might cry, feeling keenly not only how she'd hurt him but also knowing continuing would only be worse.

She tossed her legs over the side of her bed, landed hard, and took several steps towards her pile of things tucked in the corner, reaching for her wand, but it zoomed past her as she stretched her hand for it. She turned to see Snape edge around her bed, her wand clasped in one shaking hand, his in the other, making his way towards her a slow step at a time, Penny matching his step, trying to keep distance between them.

"Does it mean nothing to you then," Snape said in a low, dangerous voice.

"N-no!" Penny stammered.

"Then explain-"

"I can't, I already told you!" Penny practically yelled, her back colliding with the wall behind her.

"WHY!" Snape screamed, bridging the distance between them and grabbing her by the shoulders in order to shake her angrily, knocking the breath from her lungs.

"Because I love you!" she gasped, her head colliding with the wall and sending stars into her line of sight.

"You say that like I don't-like you have not bewitched me, body and soul! No, Penny, you will not convince me that this is about love, it is cowardice and selfishness!" he said cruelly, his dark eyes flashing with hostility.

The feelings Penny had always felt so keenly, but was too cowardly to put to words, to allow herself to believe them, were rejected. For Severus Snape, he saw them as a way for her to manipulate, he could not believe, or perhaps he did not know how to. He wanted proof, to see her demonstrate those feelings, but she knew telling him what she was hiding would be akin to driving a stake through his heart, to be guilty of all the horrible thoughts he'd always accused her of.

"Please,"Penny begged, the first couple of tears overcoming her will and rolling mutinously down her cheek, but they would not deter Snape.

"Enough of this, Potter. If you insist on continuing this farce then I am through. I have nothing left to give, so either prove this love you claim to have, or-I cannot continue with your games, and I will not return this time."

The world around Penny ballooned as though she were looking through a lens that made everything suddenly wide and distorted. Snape was there, but Penny felt removed from herself, looking at her trembling form trapped beneath Snape's grasp. She saw the door, which expanded several feet, threatening to engulf the room. It would steal Snape from her, Penny remembering another door, among many doors, all piled to the ceiling. Had it been a dream? She couldn't quite recall, but the doors were so far from her, and Snape, he was trailing away from Penny, his back to her, reaching for a door from which blood oozed from every corner and crevice. She'd screamed, trying to stop him, but something stopped her and the door snapped shut taking Snape from her.

"He killed a man-a muggle man, I saw it-he fed it to his snake," Penny choked out, finally meeting the dark eyes that were narrowed on her face. He was angry and hurt, that much was evident, but shocked, disgusted or surprised he was not.

It was exactly what Penny had feared, Snape had seen countless deaths, so many that the admission did not affect him as it did Penny, for him, it was normal.

"And there it is-that look. Tell me, Severus Snape, have you-" Penny began, taking a shuddering breath when her legs threatened to fail her, "done it? This man was alive, screaming for his life as that thing -and he, he laughed! The man's life, his precious life taken away, and for what?" continued Penny, pausing as her emotions choked her, the memory too fresh, too painful.

Snape's grip slackened on her shoulders, the anger dissolving before her. With her new found freedom, she grabbed the front of his robes to hold herself up. "How many?" she demanded.

"I don't know. . ." he said, his voice barely audible. His eyes were no longer narrowed, but wide, his dark eyes looking at Penny as though she were a ghost, the ghost of those he'd murdered come to make him pay. It was an expression Penny had not seen before, and it unsettled her. Severus Snape was afraid, afraid of her. But he'd pushed her, and now she knew she had to continue, to ask the questions that plagued and tormented her.

"Did you even bother to learn their names?" she went on, her voice getting steadily louder.

Silence, the damning silence reverberated between them.

"Just explain to me why."

"Why?" he repeated, his brows furrowed.

"Why you took that mark. Why did you want to be a part of that. You took those lives, for what? Do they haunt you? I don't understand, make me understand why you were that person! You tore families apart, left horrible pain in the wake, what did you want to achieve? Explain it to me!" Penny yelled, her crying uncontrollable now as she shook the man before her, though he moved little from the effort.

"I cannot give you what you ask. You've known this is what I am, of what I am guilty." Snape said, his voice short, as though his vocal cords had constricted on him.

"He's pure evil-I never truly understood, there was no way to. But I look at you and I don't know you, how can I? So tell me who you are, all of you. I need to understand, please."

She stepped closer to him, still clinging to his shirt, toes pressed against his, her tear filled green eyes begging the black ones to grasp onto her heart before what was left collapsed into ash. Some part of her deliriously believed that if she held onto him then all would be right in the world, and the flash of deep regret that broke through his facade made her hope, but he quickly replaced it with the icy composure of his wall that barred her entrance and told Penny that she could not reach him.

His hands were like ice on her own when they grabbed her in their steely grip.

"No," Penny breathed, "No, please," she pleaded as he paused momentarily. "I'm here! I'm right here, don't run away, you owe it to me to try!" She said, furiously, banging his chest several times but he prided her from his shirt with absurd ease.

It made Penny feel infuriated and helpless. He was always the one with control, making the decisions, leaving when he wanted, and making demands of Penny even though she'd begged him. They were here because of him, because, despite her pleas, he'd forced this out of her with an ultimatum, and because it was impossible for her to let him believe that she didn't love him, she'd admitted these confusing, shameful and all consuming feelings. Of course she knew they'd hurt him, they hurt her too, she'd have done anything other than what he'd forced of her. But now-she could do nothing to stop him, not if he didn't want to. He would not let her tears, pleas, or even hands reach him. Her words and tears fell on deaf ears as he forced her wand back into her hand and took a step away from her.

"There is no answer that I can give that will satisfy you," said Snape.

"You didn't even try!" Penny raged, wiping her cheeks as her tears dried up in favor of anger, watching him make his way around her for the door. She thought he would stop but he did not, he pulled his wand out instead-"I won't forgive you!" she yelled, throwing her wand at the back of his head.

His hand stopped its motion and he turned back to her, his eyes searching for her as desperately as she searched for him, holding greedily to her gaze, his brows furrowed and mouth slightly ajar, he took a half step forward, his fear and trepidation visible. But as soon as she reached for him, he snapped back like a cat set off by a loud sound, turned and yanked the door open.

"No!"

The door slammed shut, but Penny would follow him, he was running because he was afraid, afraid to let Penny in. But she knew, in his heart he needed her, she just had to show him. She pulled on the door but it didn't budge, he'd locked her in.

"Let me out! You can't do this, you can't leave like this!" she yelled angrily, kicking the door several times but it was futile and she knew he had no intention of opening it.

"I hate you! I hate you!" she continued to rage, listening to an exchange of voices outside, angry voices.

But it was too late for her, the panic had sunk in, the world tipping sideways, her chest constricting like the snake had constricted that muggle man. She saw eyes, the eyes of death looking back at her. Feeling dizzy because she could not breathe properly, she turned and sunk to the floor, bending forward and laying her head between her knees.

"You've left me, how could you leave me like this when you know-don't leave me alone," she cried into her lap, no longer sure if anyone was listening.

Snape was gone, he'd run from her, turned his back on her. For five years of her life she'd sought those dark eyes, found unbridled joy and frustration in them, but always, she knew she could always count on them. She trusted the safety of them even though he was harsh; he'd always been there whenever she'd needed him. But now she needed more than ever, begged him with every fiber of her being-and he'd decided to leave, rather than tell her what Dumbledore knew, he'd left her. Severus Snape had turned his back because that was the better option than telling her why. His secret was more important to him than her.

AN: "Hold on to me" by James Alphonse was the inspiration for the Penny and Snape scene (and my title!)

This scene was hard but essential. I think Penny has crossed the line from youthful innocence, and just trusting Snape at his word to wanting an explanation. She does not understand what could lead a person down that road, and was honestly just wanting to understand him better.

But as we all know, Snape is the reason Lily is dead, and everything Penny was asking was getting too close to that reality, to the confession he cannot make. I think he believed not telling her and leaving was the option that would cause her less pain, and also, he is selfish and cannot bare the possibility that she would look at him like a monster, so he ran away. :(

Poor Penny :( I'll have to get her some nice candy or something for Halloween! (Yes, we haven't even made it to Halloween -_- we will be at 500k by the time i finish OotP)

Alright, toodles my loves!