Disclaimer: I do not own Sly Cooper or any of its characters. Sly Cooper is owned by Sucker Punch, Sony, and Sanzaru Games.
I recently got into the Sly Cooper franchise and decided to write my own fanfiction of his life after escaping Ancient Egypt. Hope you enjoy it. Rate and review.
Sly Cooper: Thief of the Family - Episode 1
September 14th, 2021
It was a Tuesday afternoon in Hamburg, Germany at 5 pm. A shadowy figure running on ropes connecting to an old church before jumping through a window at the top floor of the old building. The church was of Gothic Architecture. It was being used as Muggshot's new hideout. He had escaped from prison ten days ago.
A pink hippopotamus, who was wearing a red mask, gloves, and a face mask to protect himself and others from Covid-19, was finishing the last of Muggshot's henchmen. They were fighting at ground level. He knocked out the last guy, who tried to rush him. The pink hippo removed his face mask after the long battle.
Introducing: Murray - the Muscle
"Finally," said Murray. "You can't breathe in these things!"
Back at the Cooper van, a green turtle in a wheelchair wearing a safari hat, was wearing his white face mask under his chin. He sat in the driver's seat of the van, monitoring the gang's progress. He parked the van 100 feet away from the abandoned church in order to maintain a distance, as well as a vantage point. "Better safe than sorry, what with this pandemic and all" said the turtle.
Introducing: Bentley - the Brains
The shadowy figure from before found his way to Muggshot's location. His entrance took the gangster by surprise. "You? Can't a guy get outta the slammer for once without dealing with the likes of you?" He signalled for his two guards to attack the figure, only to be knocked out in two swift moves. He stepped toward the thug, revealing a raccoon wearing blue and yellow clothes, a blue cap, and a black face mask with the logo of the Cooper calling card.
"Look, I'll pay whatever you want," said Muggshot. "Just forget you saw me here!"
"I'm not here for your money," said the raccoon.
"Wait, if you don't want my money, then what do you want? An apology?"
"No," said the raccoon.
Muggshot had a look of fear in his eyes. After being beaten by the Cooper Gang time and time again, he became too familiar with how it always ended. Suddenly, he turned to face a familiar orange vixen behind the raccoon. She had blue hair, was wearing a brown leather police jacket, an Interpol badge around her neck, black pants, brown combat boots, and a black face mask with an image of an Interpol badge on it. She pointed her red shock pistol in the thug and raccoon's direction. "Hold it right there, Cooper!"
Introducing: Carmelita - the Law
"Carmelita!" The raccoon said, pulling his face mask to his chin after turning towards her.
Introducing: Sly Cooper - the Thief (ret.) the Bounty Hunter
Story paused (Sly Cooper's voice)
You're probably wondering what's going on right now. In order to answer that, we'll have to go back a few years. You remember when I fell in the time vortex, courtesy of La'Paradox? Well, it took me ALL THE WAY to Ancient Egypt. I had to find my ancestor Slytunkhamen, put a message for Bentley in the Thievius Raccoonus, and play the "waiting game." After I got back, Carmelita was more than happy to see me again, and -- let's be honest -- all I could think of during my time in Egypt was her. She had to pull a lot of strings, and through some errands on my part, I had gotten a full pardon for the gang and I.
Carmelita had chased me for years during my "career" as a Master Thief, but after our adventures through time and wiping the slate clean, we finally tied the knot. To keep some of the excitement of being a Master Thief, the gang and I became bounty hunters. It took some convincing, but in the end, they agreed. "So, why is she there with a gun pointed at me," I hear you asking. Well, see what happens next.
Story continues
Carmelita, with her shock pistol in her hands, shoots at Muggshot, knocking him down. She pulls her face mask to her chin, slowly walking towards her husband. Sly looked at Muggshot, then back at Carmelita. "You know I had that," said Sly.
"You were supposed to be watching the kids," said Carmelita.
Story paused
I almost forgot! The two of us have twins! Carmen and Sylvia. Both non-identical girls at the age of seven, who look like raccoons with red fur, yellow rings on their tails, and yellow masks. I'll tell you this much, Carmelita's pregnancy was the LONGEST nine months of my life. Though, to be fair, it wasn't easy on her either. My right hand STILL hurts from when she FINALLY gave birth. That woman is so strong, she refused to use ANY type of anesthesia while delivering my two favorite girls in the whole wide world, all because she thought it would hurt their development or something like that. I wouldn't know anything about that, but good for her for being so tough.
Anyways, she is super protective of our girls to where she refuses to take them to a daycare center and is EXTREMELY picky when it comes to babysitters. So, I ended up watching them most of the time, what with Carmelita's job as a cop and all, but it interferes with my ability to maintain my career as a bounty hunter. I'll tell you this, it isn't a quick job, and the gang and I are pretty much working on commission.
Story continues
"Relax, babe. I left them with Dimitri."
"You left them with Dimitri? Pendejo! Do you realize how inappropriate that man is?!"
"He's gotten more family oriented since his new girlfriend." Sly said in his defense.
"I don't care," said Carmelita. "You know how I feel about babysitters I didn't approve of!"
"I would've brought them with us, but I knew you'd say no."
"Damn right I would, Cooper! You know I don't play when it comes to my kids!"
"First of all, Carm, neither do I. Second, we're married. Don't you think you can stop referring to me by my last name?"
"First of all, Cooper, you could've fooled me. Second, you need to learn to balance your family life and your so-called "career" or get a real job. And third, we've been over this. Just 'cause we're married, doesn't mean I have to change my last name. Apart from the fact that I already get enough drama from work being married to you, I prefer to maintain my independence." Carmelita replied.
Muggshot started to get up. He was listening to the ex thief and the inspector argue. "Wait, you two are married, and have kids together?" asked the gangster. "What did I miss?"
"Cállate perro feo!" Carmelita shouted as she blasted Muggshot three times, knocking him out.
"Don't you think that was a bit harsh?" said Sly, looking back at his wife after watching Muggshot fall to the ground.
Carmelita pointed her shock pistol at Sly, causing his hands to go up. "You're lucky I'm not shooting you right now, pendejo!"
"Listen, babe -- "
"Don't call me babe!" Carmelita growled.
"Carmelita, I promise. The twins are in good hands. Especially since Dimitri hooked up with Fiona."
"They better be," said Carmelita with a low tone between bared teeth. "Because if anything has happened to them, you're gonna be in big trouble!"
Muggshot began to slowly rise up. He was keeping his mouth shut while the married couple argued. Before he could get to his feet, Carmelita -- still facing Sly -- shot an electric bolt from her pistol at the gangster, knocking him out. "I'm taking this one," she said, as she put her face mask back on and walked over to the thug to put handcuffs on him.
"You know, it's kinda hard to pay my half of the bills if you keep busting my guys," said Sly.
"I'll put it on your tab," Carmelita replied.
"It's not just my paycheck, you know. Bentley and Murray have to eat too."
"Then I suggest you get better at your jobs."
"We don't make hourly or salary like you do, Carm. We're literally on commission here."
"Get a different job, then."
"We've been over this, Carm. Look, can we finish this later?"
"Oh, you bet we will," Carmelita said in a low tone. "And when we do, I plan to chew you up so bad, you'll feel like you were in a blender!"
Sly turned around to leave for the van outside. "See you at home, dear."
"Mapache estúpido," she said to herself.
"I understand that," Sly called out to her as he left.
"Good!" she shouted back.
Story paused
As you can see, our marriage is way past the honeymoon phase. Also, if you're wondering how and why I chose to become a bounty hunter, the answer might surprise you. You see, after getting back to my own time, I brought back an Egyptian gold ring with three gems on it. Red, blue, and green. A parting gift from my ancestor. I was reluctant to accept it because it might hurt the time space continuum, but even Bentley said it would be okay. As soon as Carmelita and I met again, I got on one knee and popped the question. As happy as she was to see me, she refused my first proposal. She said she did love me, but her being a cop and me being a thief made our relationship complicated enough as it was.
After a few weeks of keeping a low profile, Bentley discovered that Interpol was offering $2 million or a full pardon to anyone who can finally catch the Blue Moon Killer. A man who kills people once in a blue moon, known for wearing a burlap mask with a fedora and some sunglasses. You see, Interpol was trying to catch him way before I was born. According to the news, he'd send letters to the police, bragging about how his victims will be his slaves in the afterlife and that they'll never catch him. But, with Bentley's extensive research, Murray's strength, and Carmelita's access to the Interpol database, we finally tracked him down in Berkeley, California. Interpol was a little surprised, and it took Carmelita a lot to convince her superiors, but after finally getting the Blue Moon Killer, they agreed to give me and the gang our full pardon. And, they were probably happy not to give us the $2 million. We might not have lived as kings, but we got to walk as free men.
The whole experience gave me an idea. Since we had done such a good job taking down a serial killer, who evaded the law for over 40 years, why not do it for a living? It took a lot of convincing, but the gang eventually agreed to join me in my new career as bounty hunters. Carmelita tried convincing me to join Interpol -- minus the fake amnesia, but I politely refused. As a bounty hunter, there's less restrictions taking down the bad guys. However, we can only go after those on the wanted list, and -- unlike the Wild West -- we have to bring in our bounties alive, not that we weren't doing that anyway. The job was almost as exciting, plus we occasionally got some "souvenirs". Shh, don't tell Carmelita.
After getting enough bounties for a wedding, a down payment on our penthouse in Paris, and our honeymoon, she finally said yes. My two friends were both my best men at our wedding. She thought it was weird, but I couldn't choose, so I let them both do it. Bentley bought himself a modest house in the city, which he turned into his personal lab, but it was all he needed. Murray bought a condo close by, complete with workout equipment and tons of food left around the house. It was a bit of a pigsty. Needless to say, we never bring the twins there.
Carmelita and I agreed to have our honeymoon in Spain, where we went salsa dancing, enjoyed Spanish cuisines, and spent a month in a luxurious hotel. It was the best month of either of our lives. We thought the fun would never end, but after we had the girls, things got a little more challenging. Our careers -- mainly mine -- conflicted with our relationship and parental responsibilities. This year, the gang's business catching criminals has been slow, to say the least, which has been making it harder for me to help with the bills, mortgage, and groceries. Also, it doesn't help that Carmelita has been catching our guys lately, which is starting to wear on the gang's patience.
Now, I have another problem on my hands. I left the twins with a more responsible Dimitri, but you saw for yourself that Carmelita is awfully picky when it comes to babysitters. I thought the gang and I could get Muggshot a lot quicker, collect our bounty, and finally get paid. However, as you all know, Carmelita has never been predictable. Now I've gotten myself in deeper trouble than I can dig myself out of. At least by myself.
Story continues
Sly Cooper and the Gang in: The Dog House
Sly got in the van, sitting back and exhaling in frustration. He put his mask back on before Murray turned to face him. "Carmelita got this one too," asked the pink hippo. The raccoon nodded his head in shame. "She told me to get the twins," said Sly. Murray started the van, which began to hover, thanks to Bentley installing the rocket boosters. They began to fly towards Dimitri's place.
"Sly," said Bentley. "We need to talk."
Sly sighed. "Look, I know things have been hard, lately -- "
"Been hard?" Bentley snapped. "We haven't gotten anyone in months!"
"My credit card is maxed out, Sly." said Murray.
Bentley turned to Murray. "You seriously need to stop buying all those doughnuts, pal. Remember when Sly had to steal a couple dozen from a police station just because you skipped a meal?"
"Heh heh, those were good times," said Sly.
"Listen Sly," said Murray. "You know we're here for you, but we have bills to pay."
"Agreed," said Bentley. "We understand you want to substitute the thrill of pulling a heist, but Murray and I don't have a spouse that can take care of us when business is slow. And I imagine that your wife is getting tired of covering for you."
"Listen guys," said Sly. "I know things are slow right now, but all we need is to find someone or "someones" close by. If we can do that, and if they're worth a pretty penny, we'll all get paid."
"Sly…" said Bentley.
"I know this hasn't been easy for you guys, and I appreciate you two for sticking around for this long, but I need this. I can't do it without you. Just give me one more week, and if it doesn't work, we'll all find regular jobs."
Bentley sighed. "Alright, Sly. One week."
"Murray?"
"I'm with ya, pal."
"Thanks guys," Sly smiled. "You're the best."
"We know, Sly." The turtle replied.
After a couple of hours, the gang pulled up to a luxurious looking building. Sly made his way to the elevator, thinking about what he'll have to face later that night. Once he reached the top level, he walked towards Dimitri's penthouse. Upon entering, he was greeted by Dimitri. "Sup, bro! How was your trip bustin' the busted bulldog?"
"Not good," said Sly. "I need to get the girls before -- "
"I get here?" asked Carmelita, who appeared out of nowhere.
"Aah," said Sly, flinching by surprise. "When did you get here?"
"I always make time for my kids," said Carmelita.
"They're in the guest room, playing video games," said a female purple Iguana, wearing clothes similar to Dimitri's style. "They had meatloaf and green beans for dinner, took their baths, and I had them brush their teeth with a couple of the spare toothbrushes."
"You lovebirds remember Fiona, no?" said Dimitri.
"So this is the woman who straightened you out," said Carmelita.
"Fiona, this is my wife, Carmelita. Carmelita; Fiona." said Sly. "I'll go get the twins."
As Carmelita and Fiona shook hands, Sly walked to the guest room. He slowly opened the door and saw them playing on a gray triangular console. Carmen, who was wearing red, was holding the controller. Sylvia, who was wearing blue, was watching her sister play as a red robot on a wheel. Carmen was having the robot feed a fat, green troll different candies until it
exploded. She grabbed the ticket on the platform the troll was sitting on, and headed out the room.
"Hey girls," said Sly.
"Daddy," the girls shouted. Carmen paused the game and joined Sylvia in hugging him.
"So, what were you two playing?"
"Rocket: Robot on Wheels. It's about a Robot who goes through these levels to get tokens and tickets." Carmen said.
"Neat," Sly replied. "I heard you two had your dinner, bathed and brushed. So, Mommy and I are here to pick you up."
"Mommy's here?" asked Sylvia.
"Let's go see Mommy!" said Carmen.
The twins ran out of the guest room to hug Carmelita. She knelt down and hugged them back. She gave Sly a glare that said 'I'll deal with you later.' She pulled away to stand up and hand the keys to her car to her husband. "Start the car and wait for me." Sly nodded as he took the keys and his two girls down with him. "I'll walk you to your ride, Crackerbox," said Dimitri.
"So, the girls didn't give you too much trouble, did they?" ask Carmelita.
"They were little angels," said Fiona.
"Thank you for taking care of them. You did great."
"Your husband asked to get them ready for bed prematurely and told us what they can eat. They also finished their homework." Fiona handed Carmelita their book bags. "Also, his friend Bentley had us all tested for Covid."
"That sounds like Bentley. I'll be honest, the girls were in better care than I expected. I mean, no offense."
"None taken. I know what Dimitri is like." Fiona chuckled. "Men. They need us to keep them in line."
Carmelita rolled her eyes. "That's for sure."
"Don't worry. Your husband would never leave your girls with us if he thought we couldn't handle it. I know he did this without your consent, which -- to be honest -- would upset me too, but go easy on him. He's doing all he can."
"First, I just wanna get the girls home. But thanks again, Fiona. Glad to see my husband isn't too much of a screw up."
Fiona chuckled. "Yeah. Good night, Carmelita."
Carmelita wished Fiona a good night, and gave her some money for her services. She went back down through the elevator, passing Dimitri on the may, and got in her car. Sly drove them back home, carried the girls back up to their Penthouse, and set them back down in the living room. It was almost nine o'clock. Carmelita turned to the girls and said "girls, change into your pajamas and go to bed. I need to speak with your father."
"Dad's in trouble," said Carmen with a smile.
"Ooohhh," said Sylvia.
"Bed! Now!"
The girls walked to their room. Carmen turned to Sylvia and asked "you think she'll give him a spanking?" Sylvia giggled at the question. "That's inappropriate, girls," Sly called out to them. As they closed the door, Carmelita turned to Sly with a mad look on her face, thirsty for blood. Sly gulped in response to this.
"Next time you want to have someone else watch the girls without my knowledge, don't." said Carmelita in a low and cold tone.
"I'm sorry, you're right, I should have asked you first. But, it all worked out, didn't it?"
Carmelita sighed. "Alright, since you actually made a good call, I'll go easy on you."
Sly sighed in relief.
"You can sleep on the couch."
"Seriously?" Sly replied.
"Look, I know you're trying, but I already have two kids now, I don't need a manchild."
"Manchild? Carmelita, do you think I'd leave them there if I didn't know they were in good hands?"
"Be that as it may, I need to know this stuff before you leave them with someone else, and I don't recall giving my permission."
"It was supposed to be a quick job, but then… you showed up."
"Well, that's what happens when you leave my kids with someone behind my back."
"Your kids?"
"I know you love them, Sly. I also know you have their best interests at heart, but we cannot just trust them with anyone. You know there's crazy people out there, and aside from Fiona, you left them with one of them."
"Regardless, we can't both work and take care of the kids without some help."
"Your schedule is more flexible than mine. Also, when will we find the time to find someone who can help?"
"Think Fiona could do it again?"
"I'll think about it. Speaking of which, you owe me $100 for paying her tonight."
"I'll take care of it, hon. But I need you to let me get the next one."
Carmelita sighed. "Fine, but it better be worth it."
After Sly took a shower and brushed his teeth, Carmelita threw Sly his pillow, navy blue pajamas, and a blanket. "Goodnight." She closed the door to the master bedroom, locking him out. He changed into his night clothes, set the pillow and blanket on the brown leather couch, and made a call on his iPhone.
Bentley, who had just gotten ready for bed, heard his Android ringing. His ringtone played the intro theme song to Game Theory from YouTube. He picked it up and saw it was Sly, complete with a picture of him holding his cane on his right shoulder, smiling as he made the peace sign with his left hand. Bentley rolled his eyes, picking up the phone. "Sly," said Bentley. "Do you know what time it is?"
"Yeah, I know, Wizard. Sorry if I woke you, but this is important."
"Sleeping on the couch again?"
Sly sighed over the phone. "You know it."
Bentley chalked up another tally on the board, which added up to 57 times. "What is it now?"
"I need you to see if there's anyone we can get close-by tomorrow."
"For pete's sake, Sly, I was just about to go to bed."
"I understand, and I'm sorry, but she's really making it hard for me. If you can find a guy or two closer to Paris, it should make it easier for us to get paid."
"You mean for you to get paid."
"Yes. Listen, if you do this, I'll give you a bit of my share. Please, Bentley. I need to show Carmelita that I can balance work and the kids."
Bentley sighed, obviously tired. "Fine, but you owe me for this."
"Thanks, Bentley. Good night."
"Uh-huh," replied the turtle. He hung up the phone, and went back to the computer.
The next day
Sly had woken up early to make the family breakfast and lunch. His blanket was folded on the couch and his pillow placed on top. He had three plates with one fried egg each -- over easy, one slice of fried ham to substitute the bacon, and one serving of oatmeal. He made the same for Carmelita, but put it in tupperware for her since he knew she had to leave early for work. He placed four glasses of orange juice, a travel cup with Chai tea next to Carmelita's breakfast and lunch -- which was in a paper bag, and his coffee mug next to his plate. He woke the kids up so they could brush their teeth and get dressed for school. Carmelita woke up, got ready, and came to the dining room.
"One egg?" Carmelita asked.
"Yeah… we kinda ran out." Sly replied.
The twins came out, Carmen wearing her red polo shirt and khaki pants, and Sylvia wearing her blue shirt. "One egg, daddy?" Carmen said.
"One egg, Daddy?" Carmelita said, copying her daughter to tease her husband.
Sly sighed. "I'll get groceries later."
"See to it that you do." Carmelita said, coldly.
"I packed your breakfast already, and your lunch."
Carmelita looked in her paper bag, which had an apple juice box, an orange, and peanut butter sandwich. "Peanut butter and jelly again?"
"And I made you chai tea," said Sly.
"Thanks," said Carmelita. "Well, I have to get going." She gave her two daughters a kiss on the forehead, and a "love you" to each of them. When she turned to Sly, his lips were puckered up, waiting for a kiss. "Goodbye, Sly" Carmelita said, just looking at them coldly before leaving.
"Ouch," said Carmen.
"Even we felt that one," said Sylvia.
The twins looked at the couch, seeing the folded blanket and pillow. Carmen turned to Sylvia. "Ha, you owe me this week's allowancen"
"If I can get you one this week," said Sly. "Eat up, girls. We're gonna need our strength today.
After the three had their breakfast, Sly washed the dishes, and they walked to their school, Ecole primaire Saint-Jacques. Sly gave the girls their lunches and a kiss on their foreheads. As he wished them a good day at school, they looked in their bags, which had the same thing their mother had. "Peanut butter and jelly again?" Asked Sylvia. Sly sighed in frustration.
The girls entered the school, and the Cooper van pulled up next to him. Sly entered the van, and was immediately given a cotton swab. He knew the drill. He put it in his nose, and gave it back to Bentley, who ran it through his machine, which read negative on his Covid test.
"You know my family and I are vaccinated, right?" Sly said.
"So are Murray and I," said Bentley. "But you can still get it."
"Yeah, yeah." Said Sly, who gave his friends their bags of lunch.
"Oooh," said Murray, happily. "Peanut butter and jelly again."
"At least someone appreciates it." Sly said.
"Anyway, I was able to find three guys, who happen to be at the border of France." Bentley said.
"Three for the price of one," said Sly. "Nice work, Bentley."
"I was up all night finding them, so you're welcome."
"So, where we going?" Asked Murray as he was driving."
"I've narrowed it down to these coordinates. They're hiding in this club." Bentley said, showing a cantina looking bar, which is named La maison du chien (The Dog House).
Sly sighed. "I'm already there."
After they pulled over a hundred feet away from the bar, Bentley went over the slideshow. The three criminals they were after were: Top Dawg, Shepard, and the Retriever. Top Dawg (worth $35,000) was a pit bull, known for lashing out at people, which cost him his rap career -- leading him to becoming a crime lord and big time drug kingpin. Shepard was a German Shepherd (worth $30,000) and now an ex cop, known for arresting, harassing, and allegedly killing raccoons out of racial prejudice (oh great, I get to meet this guy. Well, some say this would be karma), on top of distribution of illegal drugs. The Retriever (worth $20,000) was a thief, who -- until recently -- robbed banks and jewelry store undetected (my kind of guy, back in the day. Except, I only stole from other thieves and criminals). The plan is to have Sly and Murray go in and rough up the bar. This should cause one or two of the targets to run out to escape, which Bentley will catch by using his sleep darts from a distance. If all goes well, they'll get paid, and they can catch up on their bills.
Sly and Murray put on their face masks, entered the bar, and found a bunch of mean looking dogs sitting around, drinking different kinds of alcohol. A couple of them were arm wrestling, eight were playing pool, two were tending the bar with 5 patrons there, and the three they were after were playing darts in the back, with a Dalmatian keeping score. Top Dawg and Shepard were tied at 70, but Retriever only scored 25 points. Sly and Murray made their way towards them, who immediately turned to face the two. "What do you want, trash digger?" Shepard asked Sly.
"Uh, WOW," said Sly. His eyes widened. "No wonder you were let off the force."
"Wait a minute," said Top Dawg. "I know you two. Where's your turtle friend?"
"He's busy," said Sly. "If you know who we are, maybe you'll come quietly."
"Fat chance, you trash digging bandit!" Shepard shouted. "All the patrons in the bar! It's the Cooper gang, here to steal from us! Are you gonna take that?"
All the patrons got up, grabbing some things to beat the gang with.
"We're not thieves anymore, pal. We're bounty hunters, and we're here for you three." Sly said.
Shepard watched the Retriever run outside. "Coward." He turned to the raccoon and hippo. "You'll be bringing me in over my dead body. GET 'EM, BOYS!"
"The Murray accepts your challenge!" Murray said, cracking his knuckles.
After about thirty minutes, Sly and Murray had taken down all the patrons, except Top Dawg, who drew two glock 19's. He had no intention of coming quietly. "Drop the cane if you wanna live," he said to Sly. The raccoon just rushed up and smacked the guns out with his cane, knocking him out after. They left the pub with Murray carrying two of their three targets as Bentley pulled up to them with Retriever already tied up.
It was a long wait, but the three had finally turned in their catch for the day, with an hour to go before Sly would have to pick up the twins. Sly had Bentley get the $35,000 for the all-nighter, Murray got the $30,000 as a show of good faith for sticking with the gang, and Sly got the $20,000. They asked if he was sure, but he insisted. He had to show his appreciation for his best friends for being as patient as they were.
Sly made it to the school just in time to pick up the girls. They immediately ran up to hug him. As the three were walking, Sly told them that they were going shopping first, then they'll get Chinese food for dinner, which they gleefully accepted. Sly gave Carmen an advance on her allowance, as well as what Sylvia owed her. After eating their dinner, they bathed, brushed their teeth, and got in their pajamas. They didn't go to bed yet, but watched Sylvia's favorite show called Martian Hero.
Carmelita came back at a quarter to nine. She saw the leftover Chinese food on the table with paper plates so Sly wouldn't have to do the dishes. She turned to the girls and said "girls, I'm home." The twins gleefully ran to give their mother a hug. Sly walked over to Carmelita, and gave her $18,985, which was the remaining balance after the groceries and allowance.
"Well, this covers what you owe me this month, the two months before, Fiona's babysitting, and a little extra." Carmelita said.
"We got three today," said Sly. "Bentley really came through for us today."
"Good to hear. Hope this keeps up."
"Me too." Sly said, looking down.
"Did they shower?" Carmelita asked, regarding the girls.
"And brushed." Sly replied.
Carmelita turned to the twins. "Girls, it's getting close to your bedtime."
"Is dad still in trouble?" Carmen asked, smiling.
"No," said Carmelita. "He's just gotten out of it, for now."
"Awww," both Carmen and Sylvia said in disappointment.
Sly rolled his eyes, but smiled. "Do you two just hate me?" He asked.
"No, we love you." Sylvia said.
"But it's funny when Mommy gets mad at you." Carmen said.
"Well," said Sly. "I always thought Mommy was beautiful when she's mad."
Carmelita rolled her eyes and grabbed Sly's pillow and blanket, bringing it back into the master bedroom. He brought the girls to their room and read to them The Secret Sharer by Joseph Conrad. After he finished, the girls were already asleep. Sly yawned, and headed to the master bedroom. Carmelita was in her orange nightgown, looking at her iPhone. Sly, already in his pajamas, lay on the left side of the bed.
"It's good to be back in the bed," said Sly with his usual smile. "My back was killing me."
"If you act less like a moron, you won't have to worry about that." Carmelita said.
Sly sighed. "You know I'm trying, Carm. And I know I've got this family to worry about, but Bentley and Murray are my family too."
"I know, Sly." Carmelita said, turning to him. "I have to say, I'm proud of you for leaving your life of crime behind, helping around the house while I'm working mad hours -- being a Captain and all. You're also making somewhat of a living, and taking care of the girls." She wrapped her arms around Sly to cuddle, and he did the same. "You aren't stealing, right?"
"Of course not, babe."
"Slyyyyy." She said, not coaxing him into telling the truth.
"Does taking souvenirs no one will miss count?" He said with a smirk.
Story paused
Aaaand… I told her. But in my defense, in my years of being married, I've learned one thing. Don't lie to Carmelita. Or else.
Story continues
"Still got the itch?" Carmelita asked.
"Sometimes."
"Do it again, I'll gladly scratch that itch with a chainsaw." She said, with an evil smirk. She gave him a quick peck on the lips. "Goodnight, Sly."
"Goodnight, Carm." Sly said, closing his eyes.
I have to say, it's good to finally be out of the dog house. While we had some tension earlier, it's important to note that all marriages have both their good days and their bad ones. I can honestly say, I wouldn't trade this life for anything. I've got a nice place to stay, I finally have Carmelita by my side, and two wonderful little girls. Life is good.
Meanwhile
A few miles away from the Cooper penthouse, a cloaked figure is standing on a rooftop, observing the family's domicile. All that can be seen is his hands, resembling blue crystal skeletal fingers, placed on the edge of the rooftop. "So, this is the new keeper of the cane," said the figure, with a deep voice and a British accent. "Soon, he'll see what I have in store for him."
That's the end of this episode. I know it was a long one, but hopefully the others will be a bit shorter, if I get to them. Yes, I made a Rocket reference to the Food Fright level. Also, the Blue Moon Killer is based on the Zodiac Killer. Rate and review.