Disclaimer: I do not own Sly Cooper or any of its characters. Sly Cooper is owned by Sucker Punch, Sony, and Sanzaru Games.
I recently got into the Sly Cooper franchise and decided to write my own fanfiction of his life after escaping Ancient Egypt. Hope you enjoy it. Rate and review.
Author's Note: I hope the previous chapter wasn't too long for you. Each chapter is supposed to be a whole episode. I might take a while for the next one, but I'm brainstorming each one with care.
Sly Cooper: Thief of the Family - Episode 2
September 22, 2021
One week after Sly got out of the doghouse, he cooked chicken parmesan with green beans and mashed potatoes. His twin daughters, Carmen and Sylvia, already ate their dinner because their mother, Carmelita, called them to let them know she was working late again. Sly placed her meal in Tupperware and put it in the fridge for later. He cleaned the penthouse while the twins were bathing and brushing their teeth. They used the last half hour of their time to watch the Discovery Channel, Carmen's favorite.
Sly's alarm on his iPhone went off at 9 pm, playing "Peer Gynt - Morning Mood" by Edvard Grieg. He brought the twins to their bedroom, tucked them in and kissed them both on the forehead. "Daddy," said Sylvia. "Tell us how you and mommy met." Sly paused for a bit. He didn't want to risk inspiring them to steal stuff, for fear of how their mother would react if they did.
"Well, I used to be a thief who only stole from other thieves, and your mother tried arresting me." Sly explained.
"So, you've always been getting in trouble with Mommy?" Carmen asked.
"You could say that." Sly said, scratching the back of his head.
"Makes sense," said Sylvia, giggling.
"Yeah . . ."
"So, you were always a pendejo?" Carmen asked.
Sly blinked in shock. "Hey. That's a bad word."
"But Mommy says it."
"Mommy's a grown-up. If she heard you say that, you'd be in big trouble."
"You'd know." Sylvia teased.
"I know you like seeing Mommy get mad at Daddy, but I bet you don't like it when she's mad at you."
"Nope. We sure don't." Carmen replied.
"There you go," said Sly. "Anyway, Daddy decided he didn't wanna be in trouble with Mommy anymore, so he decided to be good."
"Did Mommy love you back then?" Sylvia asked.
"I'd like to think she did. But sometimes we need 'tough love.'"
"Why didn't Mommy put you in jail?" Carmen asked.
"She almost did," said Sly. "I was able to find another way to repay my debt to society. It was all because of Mommy. Sometimes, being a cop doesn't mean arresting someone. Sometimes, the job is showing them a better way." Sly explained. He didn't know if it applied to him, but he knew better than to give his true opinion on the matter.
"Really?" Carmen asked.
"Of course." Sly replied. "Anyway, time for bed."
"Can't we stay up for a little bit longer, Daddy?" Sylvia asked. "Just 'til Mommy gets home."
"Knock knock." Carmelita said, appearing out of nowhere, smiling at her daughters.
"Mommy!" The girls shouted, jumping out of bed to hug their mother.
"I'm glad to see you too, girls." Carmelita said, hugging them back.
"Daddy told us how you two met," said Sylvia.
Carmelita turned to Sly with a suspicious look on her face. "Did he?"
"Yep," said Carmen. "He said you taught him to be good."
"Hmmm," said Carmelita. "For his sake, I hope he's right."
Sly flashed a cocky grin at his wife. She tucked the twins back in bed, kissed them good night, and went to the bathroom to shower and brush her teeth. Sly was looking at his phone, reading about his next target. Carmelita changed into her nightgown and sat on the other side of the bed. "So Carmelita," said Sly. "How would you feel about the kids staying with their teacher for a couple more hours?"
Carmelita turned to Sly. "Why would we do that?"
"There's a guy in Ohio that Bentley found, and he kinda hits close to home."
"Who?" Carmelita asked.
"You've heard of Franklin Kougar?"
Story paused (Bentley's voice)
Sorry I'm late, but I'm trying not to over do it like Sly did the previous episode. I know there was a lot to catch up on, but still.
Anyway, you're probably wondering why it hits close to home for us. Well, Mr. Kougar is wanted in several countries for child trafficking and, yes, committing lewd acts on a minor. Or minors . Well now, he's running an orphanage in Ohio. It's not the same one we grew up in, but as a gang with family and orphans, this job is a little more personal.
Story continues
Carmelita's eyes widened. "That pedófilo?!"
"Yep," said Sly. "And now he's running an orphanage. Bentley found out that he's using a new alias in a small town in Ohio. Should be a little easier than usual."
"But you need a couple of hours more?"
"Just in case. It's across the Atlantic, dear."
Carmelita sighed. "Okay. I trust Mrs. Marsh. Thanks for checking with me this time." She teased.
"Thanks, babe." Sly got his phone. He sent Bentley a text "We're on for tomorrow. We have a couple more hours."
"Who are you texting?"
"Bentley. Letting him know we have eight hours to do this."
"I see." Carmelita said. "So, what did you tell the girls?"
"About?"
"Us meeting."
"Oh," said Sly. "Just enough for them to understand that I've been in trouble with you from the beginning, but hopefully not enough to inspire them to do what I did."
"Hopefully?" Carmelita asked, raising a brow.
"Yeah. The moral of the story was that I decided to be "good" so we could be together."
Carmelita rolled her eyes, but smiled. "Did you tell them about the fake amnesia?"
Sly sighed. "Still mad about that?"
"I don't think I'll ever let that go, Sly. As much as I love you, you've shown me that you're not against manipulating me."
"That was then, Carm." Sli sighed. "Look, when I was in Egypt, I thought I was never coming back. I left a message in The Thievius Racoonus for Bentley, but it still took a while. Some nights, I cried, thinking about how much I hurt you. I thought about how much I missed you. More importantly, I couldn't live without you."
Story paused
Wow! He certainly knows how to melt a woman's heart. Even mine's melting.
Story continues
Carmelita smiled, giving him a peck on the lips. "You sure have a way with words, Ringtail."
"It's the truth, Carm."
"I know, Sly. I know. Goodnight." Carmelita turned off her light on her nightstand.
"Goodnight, Carm." Sly turned his light off after.
The next morning
Sly had made pancakes, scrambled eggs, and hash browns for breakfast. As usual, he put Carmelita's breakfast in tupperware, with her lunch being a tuna sandwich, an orange, chopped carrots, an apple juice box, and chai tea. He made the same lunch for his daughters, minus the tea. He woke the girls up, who were happy to have more eggs this time. As the three were eating, Carmelita entered the dining area, dressed in her usual outfit for the job.
"Good news," said Carmelita. "I have enough time to join you guys for breakfast this morning."
"I like it when you have breakfast with us, mommy." Carmen said.
"Yeah." Sylvia agreed.
"It's nice when we can have breakfast as a family." Sly said, smiling as he ate his breakfast.
Carmelita smiled, eating her breakfast out of her tupperware. She enjoyed spending time with her family when she could. Her job as captain made it hard for her to be there more, what with her working a ton of hours and not enough pay. She'd make time for her daughters, of course, but she was a workaholic drowning in hours regardless. She wouldn't admit it, but she missed having a night out with her husband, like they did when he faked amnesia. At least Sly made sure she came home to a clean condo and her favorite girls were taken care of.
After they finished breakfast, Carmelita gave the three a kiss goodbye before going to work. Sly walked the kids to school, wearing their face masks. The Cooper van pulled up, Sly took his Covid test -- still negative, handed the gang their lunches, and they flew the van to Ohio. It was a long flight, but they made it in less than an hour.
"Okay guys," said Bentley. "I'll need some recon photos to make a plan to get that monster as soon as possible. It's seemingly a small town orphanage, but I get the feeling it's being used as a front for child trafficking. If we're going to get this guy, we'll need to know what we're up against."
"Agreed," said Sly. "I'll get to it lickity split."
Sly left the safe house, located across the orphanage, and started taking some photos. There were a few security officers, all without a gun. It was weird that the security there was quite weak. Regardless, it was better safe than sorry.
Story paused
Looking back, we could've just grabbed the sicko and left. There weren't that many guards for an "illegal front." Is he getting sloppy or what? Anyways . . .
Story continues
When Sly finished, they agreed to have Sly and Murray simply grab Mr. Kougar, and leave. Bentley didn't even have to hit any of the guards. The two just showed a "wanted" picture of him and they let them go. The staff was shocked at who their boss really was. They had Franklin tied up in the back of the van, who tried protesting his capture, swearing he wasn't the guy. He confessed when they offered a DNA test.
"Look," said Franklin. "You want money? I'll give you whatever you want!"
"Okay," said Bentley. "We want to lock you up."
"You must be hungry." Sly said, grabbing a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
"I'm allergic to peanuts."
"I know," Sly chuckled.
"Sly," said Bentley. "We need him alive."
"How bad are his allergies?" Murray asked, looking back from behind the wheel.
"A crumb would make him swell up." Bentley answered.
"Good to know." Sly said, with a sadistic smirk on his face.
Story paused
You know, it's guys like this that makes me glad Murray and I glad we agreed to become bounty hunters.
Story continues
After they turned him over, they got $72,000. Bentley got $27,000 for the all-nighter, Murray got $25,000, and Sly got $20,000. He was giving his friends more to keep them happy. They proceeded to drive to the school.
"So, when's the last time you and Carmelita went out?" Murray asked.
Sly sighed. "Too long. We'd need someone to watch them."
"We could do it." Murray said.
"What?" Bentley asked, shocked that Murray offered that without asking him first.
"You'd do that?" Sly asked.
"Sure," said Murray. "We're family. Right, Bentley?"
Story paused
*sigh* I can't believe he volunteered us for that. Still, he's right. We're family.
Story continues
"Uhh. Sure, pal. We're here for ya."
"Thanks, guys. I'll be sure to pay you for it." Sly smiled.
"Don't worry about that." Bentley said. "You've already given us the lion's share of our bounty."
"Alright," said Sly. "Now I just have to run it by the Mrs. Hopefully she'll say -"
Later at Sly's penthouse
"Are you nuts?!"
"Carm," said Sly. "They've watched kids before."
"Since when?" Carmelita asked.
"Well, Bentley volunteered at the pediatric office and Murray was a mentor at a day camp."
"Wait really? When was that?"
"This summer."
"Huh," said Carmelita. "Well, I still don't know."
"Are you saying you don't trust them with our kids? You just said they're family last week."
"Of course they're family, Sly. And I'm sure they're trustworthy. It's just . . . you know how I am about our kids."
"I know, Carm. So am I, but we could use a night out. It was their idea, actually."
"Really?" Carmelita asked, shocked at what she heard.
Story paused
"Our" idea? Interesting choice of words, Sly.
Story continues
"Yep," said Sly. "Since they're family, shouldn't we treat 'em like it? It's been a while since they've spent time with the girls, and we could use it."
Carmelita sighed. "Okay."
"Okay?" Sly asked, making sure he heard his wife correctly.
"Fine," said Carmelita. "They can watch the twins this Sunday. That's when I'm off."
"Great," said Sly, smiling.
"But let me make it clear, Ringtail." Carmelita said, her face inches away from his. "If anything happens that night. I'm holding you responsible. Comprende?"
" Si señora." Sly replied, smiling.
" Bueno, mapache." Carmelita smirked, patting him on the chest before leaving the room to see the girls. It was her turn to tell them a bedtime story. She chose "The Machine Stops" by E.M. Forster.
Story paused
Well, I'm glad she agreed to go on this date with Sly. It's been years since they've gone out, what with the kids and all. Sly sent me a message that the night is on. I just hope we're able to do right by him, and I hope the girls will be on their best behavior. Gotta make sure Murray doesn't empty out the fridge. We'll have to order lots of food for his sake, and -- more importantly -- Sly's. We'll just have to see if it's a good night for the married couple and not too chaotic for us.
Story continues
Sly Cooper and the Gang in:
A Night to Remember
It was Sunday evening. Bentley and Murray arrived at the Penthouse at 6:30. Sly was dressed in a black tuxedo with a red bowtie, and Carmelita was in her black dress. The twins were standing across from the hippo and turtle. "Before we leave, let's go over a few things. Carmelita said. Bentley got out a notebook and pen. "Ready."
"Carmen and Sylvia are hyperactive, so no sweets. There's pot roast still warm in the crockpot for dinner, but no raiding the fridge, Murray. I don't want to come home with no food."
Everyone turned to Murray, who scratched the back of his head.
"It's a school night, which means they're to be in bed by nine. Not 9:01 or 9:02. Nine. At 8:30, they take their baths and brush their teeth. They can have a bedtime story after that. Lastly, I do not want to come home to a messy house. Alright?"
"You got it, Carm." Bentley said, finishing his notes.
"You can count on us." Murray said.
"Thanks again,you guys. It means a lot." Sly said, smiling.
"Let's go, Sly." Carmelita said, leaving with her purse.
Meanwhile
On a rooftop across the Cooper's condominium, a cloaked figure with blue, crystal-like, skeletal hands was watching Sly and Carmelita enter her car for their date night. He was tapping his fingers on the ledge of the balcony. "So, the cub of Connor Cooper and the vicious, vigilant vixen are heading out for the night." He said with a demonic voice and British accent. He picked up a communication device and said, "send him in and bring the little girls to me."
Story paused
I certainly didn't expect this. It's been nearly eight years, and now we get a villain? And what'd he say about Sly's dad? So much for a good night of babysitting. Anyway, let's see how we're holding up so far.
Story continues
It wasn't even seven o'clock, and the girls were fighting over what to watch on TV. Sylvia wanted to watch Martian Hero, but Carmen wanted to watch Discovery Channel. Bentley used the robotic arms from his wheelchair to separate the girls. He used every fiber of his being to avoid freaking out.
"Okay, you two." Bentley said. "First, you're gonna eat your dinner, then we'll flip a coin. Got it?"
Both the girls nodded.
Bentley turned to Murray. "And do not eat all the pot roast!"
Murray set the crockpot back down before he could eat out of it, blushing. "Sorry."
Meanwhile at L'Atelier de Joël Robuchon
The restaurant was only at half capacity ever since Covid-19, but some people still came while wearing masks. Sly and Carmelita ordered caviar, two la canettes, and a bottle of chardonnay. He took a sip from his glass before asking "so, how's work?" Carmelita raised a brow with a smirk. "Getting rusty, Ringtail? Out of all the things you could say for small talk, you chose that?"
Sly chuckled nervously. "Yeah, it's been a while. Still, I've been wondering what it's like for you now that you aren't chasing me." He said, smirking.
"And he's back." Carmelita rolled her eyes, smiling. "It's mostly paperwork now since my promotion. I have schedules to manage, call-outs, authorizing overtime for overworked cops. I haven't had many interesting patrols lately, but it gets me out of the office."
"I see," said Sly. "Well, maybe later I'll let you put the cuffs on me." He smirked.
Carmelita chuckled a bit. "We'll see how the condo is first."
"Don't worry, Carm. They're in excellent hands."
"You sure?" She asked, with an eyebrow raised.
"Of course, hon. I wouldn't trust anyone else."
"Speaking of those two, how'd it go with that Kougar guy?"
Sly chuckled. " Way too easy."
"Really?"
"Only rent-a-cops with no guns, and we disarmed them with a wanted poster."
Carmelita laughed. "Wow."
"I know, right?" Sly chuckled. "And I gave him a crumb of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich I made, causing his face to swell up."
"Ha! He deserves worse."
"Oh the best part was when they threw him in a cell with an attempted murderer."
They both laughed. "Wow, Sly. Your bad days are more interesting than my good days."
"We should do something about that." Sly said with a wink and a grin.
Carmelita smirked. "I guess you're not that rusty, after all."
"You've always had a way of keeping me sharp." He said with a grin.
"And you've always had a silver tongue." She smirked.
"Anything to see you smile."
She chuckled. "I would've smiled more seeing you behind bars."
"Where's the fun in that?" He smirked.
"I'll say this, my career was more interesting with you in it."
"Yeah, but I think we're a little old to play 'cops and robbers'." He grinned.
Carmelita chuckled. "Yeah, it would set a bad example for the girls."
"Speaking of which, you should probably watch what you say in Spanish when you're around them."
Carmelita blushed, realizing that the twins may have picked up on the swear words she said in her language.
"Anyway," said Sly. "It feels kinda weird being out here without the kids.
"I know, right? Think we should call?"
"Sure." Sly replied, calling Bentley's phone. He put it on speaker.
"Hey Sly. How's your date going?"
"So far so good. How's everything on your end?"
"Everything's fine. Had to order some food for Murray so he doesn't eat the whole Condo."
Carmelita rolled her eyes. "Did the girls bathe and brush?"
"It's 7:15, Carmelita."
She checked her watch, flustered at her discovery. "Oh yeah. Alright Bentley, just checking."
"We'll be back in time to say good night to the kids." Sly said. "Thanks, Bentley. Talk to you later."
"Goodbye, Sly."
Hang up
"Relax, babe. What could go wrong?"
Story paused
*Sharp exhale* Sly . . . Here's a new phase for you. Dramatic. Irony.
Story continues
Bentley had taken the liberty of getting the twins ready for bed at eight o'clock so they could use the rest of the night to watch "Martian Hero". Sylvia won the coin toss. Murray was eating a pizza he ordered so the other three could eat their dinner. As the pizza guy left the elevator to leave, a stocky timber wolf went inside it to go up. When he reached the top floor, he knocked on their door. Murray went to answer it, thinking it was Sly and Carmelita. As he opened the door, he said "welcome back --", but was knocked back.
"I'm here to relieve you of duty." The wolf said.
"Girls," said Bentley. "Go hide."
The twins ran into the master bedroom. Bentley got his darts ready, and Murray got back up, cracking his knuckles by balling his fist in his hand. The wolf was unfazed by this, simply cracking his neck. "Sorry guys," said the wolf. "No unauthorized overtime."
"Do you know who we are, chum?" Murray asked.
"A couple of babysitters working past your shifts." The wolf said, mockingly.
"We're bounty hunters," said Murray. "We eat guys like you for breakfast."
"Is that so?" The wolf asked. "Well, I'm a man of "special" talents, and I enjoy working with children."
"You've gotta be the second child crazed psycho we've dealt with in a week!" Bentley shouted in disgust.
"First you'll have to get through the Murray!"
"With pleasure."
Murray and the wolf began wrestling each other. Bentley reminded him not to break anything, as Sly and Carmelita were expecting a clean house. However, they knocked over the pizza, which stained the carpet, upsetting Murray. As Bentley was aiming his dart gun at the perpetrator, he kicked the hippo in the groin, causing him to fall down. He was about to attack Bentley, but got tripped by Sly's cane, which was used by the combined effort of Carmen and Sylvia. Bentley used that opportunity to shoot the wolf, knocking him out. He used his metal arms to tie him up.
"Good job, girls." Bentley said before turning to Murray. "Are you okay, Murray?"
Murray just moaned in pain. Suddenly, Sly and Carmelita came in, shocked at what they came home to. Sly pinched between his eyebrows, thinking 'oh man, Carmelita's gonna kill me.' "What happened," Carmelita asked.
"He came for the kids," said Bentley.
"Don't move anything," said Carmelita. "This is a crime scene. I'm calling the police."
Carmelita did just that. We each gave out statements about that night, and Carmelita was impressed by the girls' heroic efforts. Sly, on the other hand, was redder than a tomato. He wanted to take her out for the night, and wasn't expecting this to happen. But you know what? Neither were we. Carmelita tried to interrogate the guy, but he refused to talk. I might be near-sighted, but I could see a look of terror in his eyes. She grabbed the ear piece he was wearing, asking who was on the other end, but got no answer.
When that was over, Murray and I decided to spend the night just in case. Sly got us each a pillow, blanket, and a fold up sleeper chair. While Carmelita was getting the girls to bed, Sly was cleaning up the mess that was made earlier. Thankfully, nothing was broken.
A few minutes later
Sly had finished cleaning the condo, then he went to brush his teeth, but didn't change out of his tuxedo yet. He sat on his side of the bed, still embarrassed. It was supposed to be a good night, but got ruined by an uninvited guest. Carmelita saw him sitting there quietly, so she sat next to him, placing her hand on his shoulder. "You okay," asked Carmelita.
"This wasn't supposed to happen." Sly replied.
"I know, Sly. I didn't even think it would happen."
"This was supposed to be our night out. I was so sure it would go without a problem."
"Listen, Ringtail. It wasn't your fault. If that guy didn't come, it would've gone without a problem."
"I'm sorry our night was ruined, Carm."
"It wasn't all bad. At least until he showed up. Bentley and Murray were able to protect our girls" said Carmelita before letting out a light chuckle. "And they protected them."
"So, you're not mad?"
"I was at first, but after tonight, I realized there's no one else I'd trust to protect our two little angels."
"Well, it'll be a while before we can do this again."
"True, but the night isn't completely over."
"What do you mean," asked Sly, tilting his head."
"Well," said Carmelita with a smirk. "The kids are asleep, so . . ."
It took Sly a minute to figure out where she was going with that, then he smiled.
I'm going to cut that part out. Trust me when I say they were able to salvage what was left of that night. All things considered, I'd say they had a good time. I'm glad Murray and I could help them out with our nieces. It'll be a while before there's another date night, but I'm glad they could have that one. All in all, it wasn't a total disaster, but we knew someone was out to get us. We'll have to deal with that later. I'll say this, it's good to have them as family.
Meanwhile
The same cloaked figure watched the condominium from afar, thinking about how the mission to kidnap the children failed. He put his fingers together at their tips. "It seems Cooper's friends are tougher than I thought," said the figure. "They won't be going out again, anytime soon. They also suspect that someone is after them. I'll just have to take a different approach."
That's the end of that. Franklin Kougar was loosely based on Freddy Krueger, minus the knives. Lol Rate and review.