Sly Cooper: Thief of the Family

by TJSchicktl

Years after escaping Ancient Egypt, Sly and Carmelita get married and have twins. The retired master thief pursues a career as a bounty hunter, while trying to balance his work and family life. In this story, he encounters an old enemy of his father, who comes from another dimension. Can the Cooper gang finish this ancient foe?

6. Everglade Madness

Disclaimer: I do not own Sly Cooper or any of its characters. Sly Cooper is owned by Sucker Punch, Sony, and Sanzaru Games.

I recently got into the Sly Cooper franchise and decided to write my own fanfiction of his life after escaping Ancient Egypt. Hope you enjoy it. Rate and review.

Sly Cooper and the Gang in: Everglade Madness

After everyone finished their morning routine, Carmelita left for her flight to Florida, Bentley and Sly dropped off Murray and the twins at school, and headed off for their mission. It took a few hours before finally reaching the Miami International Airport. After she departed, she put in to get transportation to the Miami Interpol HQ in her Lyft app. When she arrived, she arranged for a patrol jeep with four-wheel drive for her journey into the Everglades.

Story paused

Of all the places to follow up on a lead, I got stuck with this backwater landfill infested with banjo-playing, inbred lowlives! *Sigh* Good thing I brought mosquito repellent.

Story continues

Once she reached her destination, she proceeded to drive down the path into the wilderness, searching for anything that could resemble a hideout. She spotted a gas station named "Bubba T.A.'s Food Mart". She pulled over to a pump, locked the doors to the jeep, and headed inside. A few alligators and crocodiles were ogling her as she entered the store. She walked up to an American crocodile, sliding over 20 U.S. Dollars. "Twenty on pump one, please." The crocodile grabbed the $20, typed at the register, and gave her the receipt. "Have a nice day," he said with a smile.

"Hey foxy lady," said an old alligator, smirking. "You wanna swim in my water hole?"

Carmelita rolled her eyes, resisting the urge to slap him hard across the face as she exited the store. She started to refuel the jeep, hoping to leave the Everglades as soon as possible. After the gas was done, she put the nozzle back in the pump, and turned to go back in the driver's seat. However, a large American alligator stood in the way. "Hey foxy mama," he said with a deep and intimidating voice, smirking. "You done handlin' that nozzle?"

"Look leather-boy," said Carmelita, disgust evident in her tone. "I'm married, and you're the furthest thing from my type."

"Oh come on, baby doll." The alligator leaned in closer. "I could satisfy you more than whatever joke of a husband you got."

Carmelita kneed him in the groin. While he was curled into a ball, lying on his side, she stepped over him and drove off. The experience of being harassed by the reptiles was far from pleasant.

Story paused

Seriously? I can't go to a run down corner store without being sexually harassed by a bunch of overgrown lizards? I just wanna find this middleman and go home.

Story continues

After a little over an hour, Carmelita found the address for Mz Ruby. It was a double wide modular home with three camper trailers around the two acre yard. A 5 foit tall, thin Floridian crocodile, who was sitting in a rocking chair with a banjo, stood up to greet her. He wore a red and green plaid shirt, blue jean overalls and a sunhat. "Howdy stranger," he said with a southern preacher accent. "Ya look like yer a long way from home, miss…"

"Fox," said Carmelita, shaking his hand. "Captain Fox. I'm here to see Mz Ruby, mister..."

"Leatherback," he said. "Zeke Leatherback. Is my wife in trouble, officer?"

"We're investigating a case regarding attempted child abduction," said Carmelita, not wanting to reveal too much information. "I'm not here to cause trouble, but evidence found on one of our suspects has led me here, so I simply want to ask a few questions."

"Well, Miss Fox, we'll help ya anyway we can, but we're just simple folks livin' peacefully in the woods."

"Hey, sugah," Ruby's voice called. "Did ya want garlic on the fish ya caught?"

"Yes honey," Zeke called back to her. "And could ya fix up another plate? We have company!"

"Company," Ruby asked. "We wasn't expectin' nobody."

As she stepped out, her eyes widened as she saw Carmelita in her front yard. "Well, well, well. If it ain't Salma Hayek." Ruby said, crossing her arms. "May we help you?"

"Yes," said Carmelita. "One of our suspects has been tied to this place in a case of child abduction. I was wondering if you knew anything about it."

"Lemme get this straight, Fox." Ruby said, wabbling closer. "Ya come into my home, and act like ya can demand answers without a warrant? Ya got nothin' on me, Fox."

"Need I remind you that you're still on parole for raising the dead, as well as other offenses?" Carmelita said, placing her hands on her hips.

"Ya talk to my parole officer, Fox?"

"Why don't I give him or her a call?"

Ruby huffed, realizing that her battle with the detective would be a dead end. "What do ya wanna know, Fox?"

"Our latest suspect, who goes by the name of Nicky Greyhound, was found with algae on his clothing, which is native only to the Everglades."

"What's that got to do with me," asked Ruby.

"Just thought you might've seen anything out of the ordinary," said Carmelita, fibbing.

"Ya think I did it?" Ruby asked. "I used voodoo, but I never kidnapped nobody."

"I never said you did, Mz. Ruby."

"But you're insinuatin' it, ain't ya?"

"Miss Fox," said Zeke. "If I may, my love wife has been on the straight and narrow since her release. She's a fine wife and a lovin' mother."

"Mother?"

"That's right, Fox." Ruby said, smirking. "We got sixteen kids. Eight boys and eight girls."

"Sixteen?" Carmelita's eyes widened.

"Yes, ma'am." Zeke said. "Come inside, and we can have a nice hot meal and a more friendly chat."

"Kids," Ruby shouted. "Supper time!"

Nine Croco-gators came out of the three campers outside the house, and seven more came out the double wide, between ages fourteen and sixteen. "Miss Fox, these are our children: Gretchen, Agatha, Jacob, Matthew, Sarah, Jenny, Cindy, John, Mikey, Jay Jay, Mary, Shelly, Lisa, Timmy, Jimbob, and Logan." Zeke said, finishing introductions.

At the rate they're going, they won't be endangered, but invasive. Anyway, I had dinner with the family, which was more enjoyable than I expected. The kids seemed well mannered and Zeke was polite. He explained that he used to be a preacher, but less of the locals came to his humble abode to congregate due to Covid-19. He'd occasionally visit his neighbors, but spent most of his time fishing and hunting for food, as well as selling what he caught at the local market.

Ruby was surprisingly sympathetic about the case I was working on, but I made sure not to tell them that it's my kids at risk. I guess her being a mother has changed her for the better. Funny thing is, she asked if I finally caught Sly Cooper. I decided to tell her that I did, in fact, catch that ringtail, and that he's staying in a special room where I can keep an eye on him. We all laughed at that. Based on our long conversation, Mz., er I mean, Mrz. Ruby not only wasn't behind the attack against my children, but doesn't even know I have any. Besides, she got into voodoo and raising the dead because she was lonely. Now she has a family.

After finishing dinner, I wished them the best and drove off. Unfortunately, it got dark, which made finding my way around the swamp harder. Before I could continue on the lead, I'd have to get back into civilization until the next morning.

Carmelita drove on the trail for hours trying to navigate her way out. However, she found herself driving in circles. After an hour and a half, she tried to find a signal with her iPhone, but there were no bars. " Mierda," she shouted, banging on the dashboard.

She pulled over, trying to get the GPS in the Jeep working, but there was no signal. She looked at the map, but couldn't make heads or tails of it. She put the Jeep in drive, when she saw a zombie dog in front of the vehicle. She screamed, putting the Jeep in reverse to back away and assess the situation, but she ended up crashing into a large oak tree, causing it to fall on top of the roof, which she narrowly escaped.

Suddenly, a few more zombies approached her. They looked like tourists and would-be survivalists. She grabbed her shock pistol, blasting as many as she could to keep a distance from them. However, their numbers began to increase to the point where they were overwhelming, causing her to retreat.

As she kept running, a few zombies would pop out of nowhere. Some she'd dodge, others, she'd shoot. She failed to see a pair of hands rise from the ground, grabbing her by the ankles, which made her trip. Her shock pistol fell ten feet away from her, which had another zombie stand in front of it. As a few more came closing in, they began to lose their heads to shotgun blasts. She turned her head to the shooter, and saw that it was Zeke.

"Come with me," Zeke shouted. "This place is crawlin' with undead folk!"

Carmelita nodded, then went for her pistol and ran with him. After a few minutes, they stopped to catch their breath. "Thanks," she said.

"Dun' mention it, Miss Fox," said Zeke. "Where's ya vehicle?"

"It got crushed when I backed into a tree," she said. "I think I need to get to a hospital."

"My momma was a nurse. She taught me a few things. Does your back hurt?"

"No, but there could be damage I won't feel for years." Carmelita replied.

"Lemme feel ya back," Zeke said, slowly reaching his hand to her. "I promise I ain't goin' to touch ya wrong."

She nodded, letting him inspect her back and spine. He grabbed her face, shining his flashlight at her as he checked her eyes. He pressed around her skull, as if to see if anything was broken. "Any pain?" She shook her head.

"Good news," he said. "Ya back seems to be aligned just fine and there's no sign of a concussion. I must say, yer a tough young fox."

Carmelita smirked. "You got that right."

"Them woods are haunted," he said. "Tourists come and go. I think the spirits around that area are restless."

"I see," Carmelita said. "Do you think you can help me find my way back?"

"I'd be happy to," he smiled. "But we must wait 'til dawn. We'll have to rest in my huntin' cabin."

"Hunting cabin?"

"Yes ma'am. It's where I clean the meat I catch, and I set up an independent source of wifi."

"Really? That's great! I can call Interpol to pick me up and get the Jeep repaired." Carmelita smiled.

"Well let's go. Time's a wastin'."

A few minutes later, they made it to the cabin. Right before they could enter, Carmelita got a call from Interpol, her ringtone playing "Bad Boys" by Inner Circle. "Excuse me," Carmelita said to Zeke. "It's Interpol."

"By all means," Zeke replied.

"Captain Fox," she said to her phone.

"This is Agent Coat'e," said a female voice. "I'm so glad to hear from you, Captain. I tried calling you earlier."

"The signal was bad, but Mr. Leatherback brought me to his cabin. It has a better signal."

"I'm glad to hear you're safe, Captain. We've cracked it. I repeat, we've got the voice of the middle person."

"Really," asked Carmelita. "Who is it?"

"We don't know, but I can play the recording over the phone for you."

"Very well, Agent Coat'e. Play It for me."

"Dun' say a word, Mistuh Grayhound. Ya Know what'll happen if ya do." The voice sounded similar to Zeke's. Carmelita's eyes widened, but bef she could react, Zeke put her in a choke hold. "Ya shouldn't have come, Miss Fox." Zeke whispered in her ear. She struggled to break free, but before too long, everything faded to black.

Moments later, she woke up tied to a wooden chair. The inside of the cabin had high tech computers. Zeke slowly approached her from her left. "Miss Fox," he said. "I see yer awake."

Carmelita growled. "That's Captain Fox to you."

"Alright, Captain. You ain't makin' things easy fer me."

" You're the one sending people after my kids?"

"Dun' worry, Miss, er I mean Captain Fox. They won't be harmed. At least not this time."

"This time?" Carmelita raised her brow.

"I sent a former ape mercenary with a shock gatling gun at the school. They'll be captured fer sure."

Carmelita struggled to break free, unleashing her anger. "Just tell me one thing." Carmelita said in a low tone. "Why?!"

"I needed the money for this place, and the missus isn't yet content with the simple life."

"So you try to kill my kids? For money?!"

"Of course not." Zeke said, crossing his arms. "I'm simply takin' them captive fer the boss."

"What do you think he's going to do to them, huh?!"

"He said they are bait to lure you and your prisoner, Captain Fox."

"You realize whoever you work for wants to kill us? How could you do this? I thought you were a preacher?!"

"It's to keep the Devil away from my wife!" Zeke snapped.

"What," Carmelita asked, confused.

"He came to our house," said Zeke. "He offered her a generous sum, but she refused and I drove him out." His head hung low. "That's what I thought, but he came to me, threatenin' to appeal to her darker nature. I couldn't let her do that to the kids." He raised his head up, facing her. "I saw the Devil in her eyes, so I sold my soul to him to save her. Do you know how it feels to worry about your spouse's former life of crime comin' back?"

Carmelita sighed, but thought she could appeal to the common ground they shared. "Actually, yes," she said calmly. "As you might know, my husband is the master thief who defeated your wife. He's got a new profession, but after he faked having amnesia to be with me, I've always worried the itch to steal will come back, and I don't want to have to arrest him. I don't want our daughters to go through that."

"Captain Fox," said Zeke. "We're two of a kind. Hopefully you'll understand why I must do what needs to be done."

"It doesn't have to be this way," said Carmelita. "Look, you're a good man. I can see it in your eyes. You don't have to do this!"

"If I don't, he'll hurt my family."

"I can have Interpol give your family protection. I can help you."

"You can't. He's too powerful." Zeke said, disappointment in his voice.

"Trust me, we can. We've dealt with worse, I promise." Her eyes pleaded.

Zeke stood there for a moment, groaning in frustration as he was debating with himself whether or not to trust Carmelita. He grabbed the knife, and she saw her reflection in the blade. "If I do this," said Zeke. "Will you do everything in your power to protect my family?"

"I swear," said the vixen. "On my life."

Zeke held the knife for a moment. It almost felt like an eternity before he swung the knife in her direction, cutting the ropes. He held his wrists up for her to cuff him. "Call them," he said.

After another hour of Interpol officers on the scene, Carmelita called Murray's number. "Hello," said Murray.

"Murray, I've got the middle man!"

"Awesome," Murray shouted in celebration. "By the way, he sent us a shooter."

"I heard. Is everyone okay?"

"Yeah. The guy only used a shock gun that acts as a gatling gun."

Carmelita sighed in relief. "I'll be there as soon as I've brought him in for questioning."

"Give him a punch for me, will ya?"

"Roger that." She replied before ending the call.

"Well," Zeke asked, expecting the punch.

"Another time," said Carmelita.

As he was dragged to a chopper by an Interpol officer, he briefly explained his reasons for all this. He even said he'd gladly give up his soul to Hell to send her to Heaven. They shared a quick kiss before he got taken away. I do feel bad for him. I know he was trying to kidnap my kids, but it was to protect his . What would I have done?

I'm glad I could just talk sense into him. Sometimes, being a cop isn't about beating down the criminals, but sometimes you must simply talk to them. Being a good negotiator is just as important as being a beat cop. I know that now, and sometimes I wonder if I simply could've talked to Cooper back then. Then again, he never took me that seriously. Speaking of which, I received a call from Bentley telling me that Sly is in the hospital. Murray agreed to watch them until we got back. I hope he's okay, because I'd like to go there so I can kill him myself for having me worried sick!

Btw Bubba T.A.'s Food Mart was named after my wife's second cousin, who's like her nephew. He's Jamaican, though. Rate and review.