Hey friends! I'm sorry about my absence on the weekend, uni has been kicking my butt and I've just felt so drained from the amount of tedious work my professors want. Needless to say, I'll be glad to graduate here soon and be FREEEE. It'll be nice to have some down time and commit some extra time working on this. It still feels like, even though we are 350k in that I have so much to get through! But I'm excited and it's nice to still be so motivated to write this :) thanks for keeping me company and inspiring me to continue!
This week is a bit of an intermission, if you will. Penny has had a lot going on, so this is just a slice of life chapter for our fighting duo. They have much to work through, but no chance of Penny relenting anytime soon! Writing potions class is always my favorite thing to do! SO enjoyyy
Have a good weeek and I'll do my best to post again Saturday!
Come Monday, Penny could no longer hide from the school, which had erupted with excitement and intrigue after the first issue of the Hogwarts Howler made its rounds. It became more popular than any of them could have imagined. Not only was the student body engrossed in the decoy story, they were intensely curious as to who Peregrine was, making wild speculations, and coming up with elaborate reasoning.
Penny avoided breakfast, asking Harry to bring her some toast to munch on during History of Magic because she did not want to be bombarded by the inevitable questions that everyone wanted to ask her about her absence and the story. She arrived at her desk before the bell even rang, hoping to avoid the crowded halls, Harry poking his head of untidy black hair through the door, finding her and making his way to her with a pile of offerings from the breakfast table.
Penny immediately began inhaling the food, Harry watching her somewhat disgusted.
"What did Sirius and Lupin do to you?"
"Our godfather is a lunatic, but he is a brilliant lunatic. He has this training course in the backyard."
"Training course?"
"Yes! Anyway, I was thinking of continuing with it, thought maybe you would want to join me in the mornings now—" Penny started, pausing because she remembered not being able to play quidditch was still a sore subject for Harry. Thankfully he was not as depressed, being preoccupied with the secret meetings he was having and had hilariously dubbed "Dumbledore's Army" or the DA for short.
"Erm, how early?" said Harry.
It was evident by the hand rubbing the back of his neck that Harry was looking for a way to let Penny down gently, he never was much of a morning person, even less so lately with how late he stayed up trying to catch up on his homework.
Rolling her eyes, Penny accepted the mug of coffee Harry pushed toward her and took a long, slow drink, checking the time as she did so. There was thirty minutes before the first bell rang, so she decided it was a good time to clue Harry in.
"I didn't want to say this in front of everyone yesterday, but something happened on Halloween. . .with a ouija board," Penny said, feeling slightly ridiculous.
"What'd you do, summon some old ancestor of Sirius'," Harry replied, absentmindedly as he doodled on the parchment before him.
"No, but we summoned something , it possessed Sirius, but he doesn't remember any of it," Penny said, snatching the quill from his hand.
"You're having me on," said Harry, his green eyes watching her suspiciously.
"I'm not! Sirius got out the ouija board, said it belonged to mum and that dad hated the thing because apparently there are some family stories about death searching for our family." The words sounded as stupid as Penny knew they would, but she needed Harry to understand, to believe her.
" Death?" Harry grinned. "Death isn't a person, Penny, it can't follow anyone."
"Oh stop looking so skeptical, how many of your absurd speculations have I listened to!" Penny said, feeling distinctly grumpy with her twin. "Anyway, I would have agreed with you but when we started, the room changed, I saw a door, and then Sirius went all strange and his voice was raspy, the board was writing all these messages, and possessed-Sirius-he was saying he found me."
"He was probably just trying to scare you," Harry said, diplomatically, his brows furrowed.
"He didn't even remember it!" Penny said in exasperation. "I know what I saw, Harry. That's not all, Lupin and Sirius both said dad hated the ouija board and described them becoming possessed too! They said they never believed him, but he was freaked out for days afterward."
"So what did dad see then?" said Harry, sitting up a little straighter.
"I don't know, neither of them remembered."
"Penny, it was Halloween, are you sure—" Harry said slowly.
"You know what, see for yourself!" Penny said in irritation, flinging her mind open and all but thrusting her thoughts upon them.
She waited, recalling the look in Sirius' eyes, the memory playing vividly before her, sending goosebumps popping up her forearm. After a moment or two, Harry said, "Are you going to show me or not?"
"What?" Penny said, her eyes finding his face. "I am ."
"No you're not," he assured her.
Screwing up her face, Penny tried again, and still Harry stared at her like there might be something wrong with her mental capacity.
"Nothing still?" Harry shook his head. "I don't understand, this has never happened before, why can't I show you."
"Are you sure—"
"Yes, I'm sure!" Penny snapped, just as their classmates began milling into the room.
Ron and Hermione took their seats on either side of Harry, Penny deciding to clear up her desk as an excuse to end the discussion with her brother, who looked like he wanted to continue the conversation, but Penny did not feel like being forced to defend her mental state against Ron and Hermione too.
The situation perplexed her, she'd never experienced it before. For as long as she could remember she could share everything with Harry, and he her. It was as if, in many ways, Harry's mind was a part of hers. This new development alarmed her, even more than no one believing her. It was like she was trapped in her own little hell, plagued by something no one else could see.
When she returned to her seat, Hermione had adopted the same look as Harry, telling Penny Harry had already shamelessly told them what happened, so she shot him a dirty look.
"Don't know what you guys are so worried about, everyone knows that story about death, mum used to tell it to us every night," said Ron as he began meticulously folding paper to keep himself entertained during the class.
"What story?" Penny said, turning sharply on Ron.
"The old kids story, didn't your parents read to you?"
"My parents are dead."
"Oh, right," Ron said, looking up and frowning at Penny like she were some unfortunate creature. Hermione sighed and shook her head, turning her attention to Professor Binns who'd already begun his long drone about the history of the feud between the Giants and Goblins.
"Well it's an old fairy tale, mum used to use it to make us behave, said if we didn't death was going to find us."
"What kind of kid's story is this?" Harry asked, sounding mildly alarmed.
"The normal kind, why, what were yours like?"
"Not about death chasing little kids," said Harry.
"No, we just get the ones where grandma is actually a wolf and eats the little girl," Penny pointed out.
"Ugh, what is wrong with muggles!" Ron said, looking thoroughly disgusted.
"Anyway, what's the name of this story?" said Penny.
"It's in The Tales of Beedle the Bard and called The Three Brothers."
Penny was barely able to focus for the rest of class, but she scribbled down some notes between obsessing over getting to lunch so she could go to the library and find this book, but she would have to survive double potions first. She looked down at her hand, flexing it a few times while she remembered the way Snape had reached out and touched it the previous day. The gesture had been infuriatingly thoughtful, but Penny could not let him break her, whether he was making progress or not, it was not enough.
When class ended, Penny made her way absentmindedly toward potions, completely oblivious to all the muttering, oggling and pointing that followed her down to the dungeons, not realizing she was the first to enter the classroom. She stopped dead in her tracks when the tall dark form of Snape turned from the board to scowl at whoever entered the classroom before the bell. His eyes widening slightly with surprise on her eyes dislodged from her stupor and Penny realized she'd stupidly walked into the one person she was trying to avoid.
"Eager for my company today, are you Potter," said Snape, his eyebrows arched.
"I don't think eager is an adjective anyone would use to describe feelings associated with you," Penny said, stiffly.
"Then why is it you came to be ten minutes early to class."
"I assure you, I did not do so consciously."
"So your subconscious did so? I'm flattered," he said, silkily.
"There are many things my subconscious imagines doing to you," Penny murmured mutinously under her breath, turning away from him to sit herself down at the table she shared with Malfoy.
"Oh? Do tell," Snape drawled, moving to meet her at her table where he reclined himself lazily on his hand, black eyes scrutinizing the anger rising in her features.
Trying her best to subdue the feelings stirring in her chest, Penny cursed the day and Snape's newfound eagerness to harass her.
"I wouldn't want to ruin the surprise when I finally get the chance to do them. Now if you wouldn't mind getting off my table, I'd like to prepare for class," Penny said through clenched teeth.
"You are in my classroom, Potter, so you'll find I do mind," he said, and Penny could hear the malice in his voice.
Penny stared at him in disbelief for a long moment before being overcome by a gloriously stupid idea.
"Fine, have it your way," she shrugged, slamming her bag onto the table before her as Snape's mouth twisted into a satisfied smirk, but she did not wait around to see it to it's completion because she marched around her desk to the front of the room, pushed Snape's seat out from behind his desk and plopped into the surprisingly comfortable chair.
Snape turned, his eyes narrowing on her just as she reclined herself in his chair, his mug of coffee in her hand and her feet resting on the top of a pile of papers he had been grading. Allowing the message to soak in, Penny held his gaze as she took a long, defiant sip of his coffee before she sighed and closed her eyes as though in preparation for a nap. His loud steps told Penny she'd hit a nerve.
"I suppose you think you are so very clever," he hissed.
"I don't need to suppose, I know I'm clever, but glad to see you finally admit it," she said, opening one eye to peer lazily at him.
"Get up now !"
"I'm not ready to," she yawned.
"Excuse me. . ."
"Class doesn't start for—" she leaned her head back to check the clock, " two minutes."
"I warn you, Potter, if you will not get up—"
"You forgot to say please," Penny said simpered, giving him what she knew was an annoyingly innocent look.
Then she took another long swing of his coffee, noting how he seemed to like it sweeter than she would have thought, finishing it off just before he snatched the mug from her hand. He reached next for the neck of her robes and gave a great yank, but Penny maneuvered her head so the robes slipped off her, leaving her in place and Snape stumbling backwards a step, looking furious.
"Undressing your students is a bit forward, even for you, don't you think?" said Penny, her eyebrow arched.
"I hardly need to undress you when you already leave so little the imagination," he sneered, throwing her robes to the floor and scrutinizing her form severely, taking in the new plaid skirt Mrs. Weasley had bought her (and Penny had shortened,) as well as the slim fitting top, which Ginny had commented did wonders for her shape.
"What's the matter, professor, are you feeling victimized by my boobs?" Penny said with an exaggerated eye roll at the scandalized look on his face.
His face brighter than an over-ripe tomato, his eyes nearly bulged from his head and he looked decidedly away from her, as though he did not trust himself to prove her right. Penny chuckled softly, relishing the feeling of power she felt. Tossing her feet to the floor, she got up and made her way toward him, stopping just beside him; students filing in and looking curiously at the pair of them and breaking into urgent whispers.
"It's okay, I won't tell anyone so long as you stay the hell away from me," she said, patting his shoulder in a condescending manner before returning to her seat.
At her table, she began unpacking her things, trying hard not to let the irritation simmering in her chest ruin her victory. She needed to be the master of it, to deny Snape the knowledge he still got to her, that his presence continued to unsettle her. She would stamp him out of her heart like one would a dwindling bonfire, burying it in the sand to forget. Normally, such an exchange would leave her smug and satisfied, after all, making Snape speechless was no easy task, but instead Penny felt robbed, robbed of the enjoyment arguing with Snape normally brought her. She felt devoid of the connection and trust they once shared— in its place was a moat that separated them, a moat filled with his betrayal.
"Mr. Nott, seeing as Mr. Malfoy will not be joining us today, you will be working with Ms. Potter," the cold voice said, Penny's eyes snapping from her cauldron to find the vindictive face looking back at her, relishing the way her own contorted in horror and annoyance at his command. Of course the man had no intention of letting her go unpunished, she would suffer for her insolence.
Nott smirked as his eyes drifted in a very undignified manner over Penny. He stepped up beside her, standing much too close for her liking. Instinctively, she inched away from him, but it made no difference because he just continued to creep into her space until there was no more table left for her to retreat to.
"Let me do that for you, love," Nott said, taking the ingredients from Penny and brushing her forearm in a deliberately slow manner as he did so.
"Keep your fingers on your side or I can't promise you'll get to keep them," Penny said through gritted teeth, clutching the knife in her hand more forcefully than she needed.
Nott's thick brows quirked in amusement and he smirked at Penny, who looked away in irritation, trying to focus on the day's task. Penny normally didn't mind working in pairs because she typically got to dictate how things went, but Nott insisted on questioning her at every turn, as though she were not easily the best in the class.
"It says we are to dice the mergog root first," he informed her, grasping her wrist before she could drop it in.
"What? No, that step is useless, and if we don't get to step four in the next two minutes the entire thing is ruined," Penny replied, exasperated.
"Did you read it—"
"Of course I did, but I've also read every other book on that book shelf," Penny snapped, pointing at the books on the old bookshelf of Snape's at the back of the room. "Which is why I know mergog root dissolves in more acidic concoctions and when left whole, releases its essence in a more controlled manner making this potion more potent."
"You know, you're really sexy when you get all worked up," Nott smirked, his foot sliding the distance between them to caress her leg.
"Are you serious right now? I don't think I've ever heard anything more revolting—" Penny blinked.
"No need to play coy, love, we both know you were into it on the night of mayhem," he said, giving her a wink.
"Yeah, well, being drunk can make even the worst decisions seem alright for a minute, now get off me," Penny said in a deliberately slow fashion.
"Nott, Potter, why is your potion green when it should now be yellow? Explain yourselves," Snape's irritating voice cut across, returning them to the room full of onlookers.
Cursing internally, Penny turned in horror on her potion, one look telling her the oaf beside her had distracted her for so long they'd missed their window. Nott, being the infuriating dunce he was, immediately released her wrist, cleared his throat and said, "Sorry sir, I was just reminding Penny of our directions because she seemed uninterested in following them."
"I was about to add the mergog root before Nott interrupted me with his ignorance," Penny fumed.
"Is that so? It seems to me that you were too preoccupied with flirting to follow my explicit instructions not to allow this to settle for more than two minutes, meaning this is utterly useless," Snape said, a cruel look of satisfaction flashing in his eyes as Penny stared up at him in disbelief.
"We were not-I did not! This imbecile you paired me wasted my time demanding I dice the mergog root, like we hadn't learned Piper's Three Principles of Potion Making in third year!" Penny protested, giving Nott a scathing look.
"If you knew the principles, then the fault is yours, Ms. Potter. Whatever your excuses are, it is evident you did not do as instructed so you will be receiving a 0 for the day's work and Nott here will receive his points for his diligence to following instructions ," Snape said in a silky voice, as he waved his wand over he cauldron and all her effort disappeared.
"You can't do that!" Penny blurted out, brandishing the root in her hand at Snape as though it were some sort of weapon.
The room around them had gone very still, the Slytherins snickering in approval while the Gryffindors muttered mutinously under their breath.
"I can and just did, but if you would like me to also take points from Gryffindor, question my authority again," Snape said, his tone low and dangerous.
"I won't let you do this, it's blatantly unfair and you know it!"
"Let me?" he repeated. "It seems Ms. Potter thinks she should not be held to the same rules as the rest of you," Snape went on, turning to the rest of the class, many of whom flinched beneath his gaze. "Who has a suggestion for how we remind Ms. Potter that she is in fact, not special."
Silence followed his question, no one quite sure if Snape was looking for an actual answer, and confused because they had very rarely seen Snape treat Penny like this. While he never blatantly favored her like he did the Slytherins, she always got away with things no other student would dare try.
"Come now, don't be shy," he pressed, walking through the rows of desks and stopping before Blaise Zambini and Pansy Parkinson.
"Please sir, if I may," Pansy said in a sickenly sweet voice.
Snape nodded at her, indicating she was free to speak, so she gave Penny a contemptuous smirk before batting her eyelashes up at her head of house.
"Seeing as Penny sabotaged the work of another student and thinks she should receive credit for his work, well that's basically the same as plagiarism isn't it? And since we are working on this chapter all week, it would seem fitting she loses her points for the entire week."
Penny's jaw dropped as she stared dumbfounded at the awful Slytherin girl. While Penny had seen Pansy from time to time with Draco, she never had a reason to dislike the girl because in reality they never had much reason to interact. But for whatever reason, Pansy seemed to have decided to declare war against Penny, leaving Penny very much wishing she could wrap her hands around the thick ugly neck of the girl.
"All in favor," Snape said, delicately.
As was to be expected, all of the Gryffindors burst into loud arguments of opposition while every Slytherin hand shot into the air.
"A consensus," Snape said, blatantly ignoring the Gryffindors as he turned to Penny, his face twisted in cruel delight. His dark eyes trailed lazily over her shaking frame, the malice in his eyes flashing approvingly.
In her furry, Penny turned back to her things and began angrily stuffing her book into her bag.
"Cheer up, love, a pretty face like yours really shouldn't be wasted on frowning," Nott said in her ear.
"If you so much as breathe on me again, Nott, I swear to Merlin I will break that pretty nose of yours," Penny said, pushing him out of her space.
"What's this now, Potter? Threatening your peers? It seems to me the lesson has yet to sink into that thick skull of yours so that will be 20 points from Gryffindor," said Snape from behind her, having left Pansy behind
Closing her eyes and biting her lip so hard it drew blood, Penny forced herself not to respond, forced herself to not look at either of the infuriating creatures and praying the bell would release her already.
"Leave it, Nott, Ms. Potter will clear the stations, the rest of you may go."
Opening her eyes, Penny looked around in despair, clearing up would certainly take most of her lunch time. Green eyes found green eyes and Harry gave Penny an apologetic smile, he better than anyone empathized with the way she'd been treated all class. Ron gave a little shrug while Seamus Finnigan blew her a kiss-salute as he and Dean Thomas made their exit. The Slytherins, meanwhile, took their last few minutes to ensure their tables were as dirty as could be before snickering at her as they left.
Moving with lightning speed, and ignoring her potions master Penny let her fury free as she began slamming lids on bottles, piling up cauldrons and wiping the desks. She was pleasantly surprised she managed not to break any, though several times she had to fight back the urge to throw something at Snape or dump everything on the floor and stomp away. When the stations were wiped, Penny piled as many ingredients into her arms as she could manage and marched for the store cupboard. It was dark inside, but Penny didn't bother to turn the light on because she knew where everything went and there was enough light coming through the door to see what she was doing.
One by one she set them ingredients back, her stomach growling painfully, making her even more irritable. Making to turn and return for the last of it all, Penny found the doorway blocked by the towering form of her potions master and scowled, of course he wasn't through tormenting her. She kicked herself for letting her guard down and not noticing when he'd entered because she'd been too preoccupied with ruminating in her annoyance. Never before had Snape sunk to such petty depths, they'd always fought, that was their natural state, but he knew how important her grades were to her, how hard she studied. But none of that mattered, not when Penny wasn't giving him exactly what he wanted.
"What now my liege, not satisfied that I've suffered enough?" Penny said in a biting tone.
"If you weren't so stubborn—" he began, his voice full of frustration.
"Me? You're making this about me!" Penny yelled, cutting across him and losing all control of herself.
"Don't pretend like you haven't come back brainwashed by Black!" Snape spat.
"Oh so this is Sirius' fault too, is it? Are you kidding me right now?" Penny said with a hard laugh. "Sirius didn't need to say anything, in fact you never came up. As it turns out, not everything is about you! It does amaze me though, how you refuse to accept any responsibility—"
"How can you speak to me of responsibility when everything I have done, I did for you!" Snape screamed right back at her "But of course, because it doesn't come laced in—no of course you would never entertain the thought that I have been put in an impossible position!"
"For me? For me? Tell me, at what point did you ask me what I wanted, what I needed? Oh you didn't, did you? No, you decided what I wanted based on what was easiest for you! This was never about me, because if it had been you would have explained yourself—"
"How could I when you never shut up long enough to let me!"
"That's complete dog shit, you had your chance, and you know what you did?" Penny said, pointing an accusatory finger at him. " You left me . You had no intention of answering me, instead you ran away when I needed you—begged you not to, you locked me in that empty sterile room. But that's not even the worst of it, because I might have forgiven you for that, seeing how many times you've done it before and how stupid I used to be. But this time was different, wasn't it? Because you never came back. For hours, day weeks—a month, I waited for you . The last 28 days 13 hours and 9 minutes—if you'd just come—But not anymore," Penny said, her chest heaving and fist shaking at her sides.
Snape's face was shrouded in darkness, his dark eyes blending into his surroundings, the light from the classroom illuminating him like the sun does the moon during a solar eclipse—outlining him, but never reaching him. Yet, Penny did not need to see him to know what was on his face, she could feel his emotions ebbing through the cracks in his facade, exuding from him like an aura. She knew if there had been light it would have only served to harshen the lines of regret etched into his features. And still, though she knew he wanted to fix things—he still did not utter the words Penny needed to hear most. The words her foolish heart so desperately hoped for.
The silence was deafening, the seconds stretching into minutes, neither moving. And still Penny waited, some part of her clinging to the idea if she just waited long enough. But that was a fool's dream and Penny was no longer a fool. Knowing another moment would only worsen the pain in her chest, Penny pushed past Snape, but his hand caught her wrist, the light illuminating half his face, they both turned, green meeting black.
"Tell me what I should do—" The words were harsh, unrefined, the words of a desperate man who had no other options. They floated through the air a moment then they seemed to settle in Penny's angry heart, dousing the fire within it with a bucket of ice.
Breaking their gaze before the emotions burning at the corners of her eyes could humiliate her, she ripped her wrist free of him and dashed for the exit. More than anything, Penny wished she could just be free, that she could somehow force her heart not to care, but Snape's words had found a way yet again, to weasel their way through and cast her into chaos. After all that Penny had said, and even though he did not deserve any of what she'd shared, he was still looking for another way , and that more than anything showed Penny not only how large the divide between them had gotten but also exactly how unwilling Snape was to bridge it.
Snape had so many opportunities to make things right, and I think it just cuts even deeper when he tries now but completely ignores what it felt like for Penny those 28 days, where she hoped and hoped, only to have her orphans heart broken. Repairing that trust, especially when Penny isn't good at trust won't be easy!