Hey friends!
Life has continued to be a bit wonky over here. There has been a lot more on my plate than I anticipated and it seems writing got placed on the back burner.:( Sorry about that. i've decided to cut out a few of my commitments so I can have the time to stick to my routine of updating weekly. This story is just very important to me and I want to. be working on it because I enjoy. SO I hope you didn't think I abandoned you!
Here we go, lets get back to Hogwarts! 3
With the 1st of September looming, Penny suddenly realized she was not at all ready. Where August had gone, she did not know. Though, a lot of it had been spent at Fred and George's joke shop. The twins had decided, in an effort to help her get clean from the drugs, they would keep her preoccupied. The gesture was sweet, and Penny came to truly appreciate what patient friends she had because the withdrawal period was ugly and full of outbursts and mood swings that she felt ashamed of once she made it out on the other side.
Thankfully, they did not seem to hold it against her, and even went so far as to hide her out of sight when Mrs. Weasley brought the others to visit the store so Penny would not have to endure Harry asking why she looked so awful. It would have been an impossible task to keep the truth from him and she did not want to cause him any pain over her choices.
She'd gone to visit the Weasley's a few days ago to make up for it, since she was now feeling composed enough to be around other people. It'd been a nice day full of delicious food and games of exploding snap because it was now much too cold for anyone to want to play quidditch. The day would have been a perfect success were it not for Hermione's intuition. Having seen Remus recently she deduced something wasn't quite right between the pair and asked Penny about it, but Penny managed to dodge her questioning by shamelessly bailing to help Mrs. Weasley clear up, something that at least made the kind woman beam. It was the least Penny could do after Mrs. Weasley had gone out of her way to get all of Penny's school supplies and check length on her robes. Unfortunately, Penny did not have Harry's luck, and her height had moved very little in the last year.
"Maybe I'm stunted," she said, scrutinizing the appearance in the mirror before her.
Though her robes hadn't needed adjusting, Mrs. Weasley had still bought Penny some new ones that were much softer than her previous ones. Penny frowned as she rose herself onto her tip-toes to see what the little added height would do for her. Though the difference was virtually imperceivable, Penny still felt she preferred it.
While Penny knew it was silly if not vain to care so much about her height, she was quickly becoming the shortest person among those she knew, though it did not help that she spent most of her time in the company of men. And it was not like she looked overly short and her proportions seemed alright to her, except perhaps for her heavy chest, which seemed a little out of place with her boyish hips, but her thighs seemed to take up enough space to make that less noticeable. But still, Penny was sick of having to look up at everyone, she wanted to know what it was like for others to have to crane their necks to look at her.
Sighing in irritation, Penny looked past her own reflection to that of the bed behind her, when the only response to her agonizing was the sound of wet kissing.
"Honestly," Penny said, rounding on the pair with her arms crossed. "Is there a moment in the day you two aren't shagging?"
"Right now because you're here cock-blocking," George pointed out when he disengaged long enough to speak.
"I'd hardly call interacting with my friend, who I haven't seen for a week cock-blocking."
"I heartily disagree. You clearly came in here because you don't like sharing," Lee Jordan said.
"Sharing! You've been locked in this room shagging for the entire week!"
"C'mon, Penny, he's been gone for the summer, we had a lot to catch up on," George pointed out.
"Yeah, stop being so selfish, Penny and let me have my turn," Lee Jordan smirked, leaning over to kiss George's neck again.
"You've had more than enough turns, I demand half-time and a discussion," Penny protested, picking up a brush from the table and throwing it at them.
"Can't you have this discussion with Fred?" murmured George, his mouth being swallowed by Lee's again.
"Well, seeing he hasn't been home once in the last week because of you two. No, I cannot."
"What? Why?" George said, finally looking interested in the conversation.
At this Lee rolled off George when George's hand gave him a light push and he craned his neck to look at Penny. Looking mildly disappointed, Lee reluctantly gave Penny his attention as well.
"I can't imagine walking in on his brother shagging his best friend when neither of them had thought it important to tell him they were dating had anything to do with it," Penny said sardonically.
"We thought he knew!" they argued in unison, almost breaking Penny's decided frown.
"Right. . .Well I suggest you both apologize for being gits and do what you should have done in the first place, and talk to him."
"I don't like this new, emotionally healthy you," George said, eyes narrowed. "It's making me feel bad about myself."
"Aye," Lee agreed. "You have your whole adult life to ruin everyone else's fun, why waste your youth?"
"Fine. Don't take my advice, I'm going back to Hogwarts tomorrow anyway. So Fred is your problem now," Penny said, marching out of the room in annoyance.
"Penny, wait!" George called just as Lee Jordan yelled "Shut the door behind you!"
Annoyed with George, Penny made for the stairs and took them three at a time. She would have to deal with this later, right now she needed to head out or she would be late meeting Ed.
He'd picked the spot. The park; something that had seemed odd to Penny until she walked up on him beneath the tree's sitting at a picnic table. She couldn't help but smile watching while he whistled to himself and tossed rocks at the nearest was something very idyllic about him and the privacy the tree's offered. It was like they'd left the busy streets of London behind for this nook far from prying eyes—a stolen moment that let her leave all her baggage at the edge of the tree-line.
When he noticed her he sprang to his feet, "Penny!" he said, relief evident in his voice. Closing the distance between them in a couple of strides, he pulled her into his chest, cradling her head in his hand. "I'm very cross with you, miss," he said in what was decidedly not an angry tone.
"Cross? You've become properly British since the last time I saw you," Penny said, trying her best not to let her smile reach her tone, her entire body relaxing in his arms. How was it Ed always knew exactly what she needed?
"Absolutely not! I just needed you to know this is more than regular angry," Ed said incredulously after a moment of breathing in the smell of her hair.
Penny chuckled, Ed pulling away from her just far enough so she could experience the full effect of his big, pouty lip.
"Alright, alright, I am here to face your fury. Do your worst."
"This is no joke, you broke my most important rule!"
"What rule?" Penny asked, trying to rack her brain for any memory or mention of it.
"No making your drug dealer think you died! We have hearts too. Is a phone call so much to ask for?"
The guilt in Penny's chest twinged. She had wanted to reach out to Ed, to explain things. But how was she supposed to do that? Telling him anything remotely near the truth meant breaking wizarding law. It' just felt easier to let Fred and George convince her to let it go. But looking at him and his usually light-hearted features frowning at her made her regret that selfish decision. He deserved better than that.
"I'm sorry about that, Ed. Things just got. . .complicated with my, erm, family," Penny said, feeling nauseous at the thought of Remus. "Is there anything I can do to make up for it?" Penny said, fluttering her eyelashes prettily in an attempt to distract him from the truth she did not want to have to lie about.
"That's underhanded, Penny. I knew I should never trust a Brit!"
"Excuse me you American spy, what did I do!"
"I'm onto you, you're trying to make it impossible to stay stern with you by standing here and looking so damn adorable," Ed accused, reaching for a strand of her hair and muffling a sigh.
"Does it happen to be working?" Penny grinned
"Maybe," Ed said begrudgingly before out right giving in, "Alright fine, but this doesn't mean I wasn't cross! A whole month, Penny Potter! Do you have any idea how much I missed you."
"I missed you too, Ed," Penny said pink-cheeked and taken off guard by the intensity of emotion "How much?" he pressed, the corner of his mouth upturning in a mischievous smile, his arms winding around and crushing her with a bear-like hug.
Penny laughed, the pair of them swaying back and forth as Ed sufficiently squeezed the life out of her, only relenting because she could not breathe for laughter.
"I can't say I've ever liked a Yank before, but seeing as you're a special case, a lot," Penny finally answered.
Moving past Ed, Penny perched herself on the end of the picnic table, her feet dangling childishly. Ed turned, watching her smile at him for a moment before taking a step toward her so he could place both of his hands on the table on either side of her and leaning in close. Much closer than she anticipated, making the heat in her cheeks that had almost abated return.
His good natured features watched her, those deep eyes of his probing hers when he stopped just shy of her lips.
"Endeared with me are you? I like the sound of that," he said, eyes flicking to her lips.
"I imagine it's a common occurrence for you," Penny breathed.
She wanted to kiss Ed, to enjoy the feeling of his lips against hers and forget that hers would never be a normal life. Was it selfish of her to want a summer's kiss, forever a reminder of how fleeting it all is and why passion was the life in her veins that made it all bearable?
Ed's hand had found her side, fingers grazing her exposed skin and sending her nerves burning before she found her voice.
"Ed," Penny tried, but his mouth was on her neck, making her task much more difficult.
Her own hands betrayed her, were moving, reaching for his hips and yanking him closer to her. Pulling away from her neck, he paused, eyes fluttering back to hers, he broke the distance between them. Ed's mouth engulfed her with bliss, sending her pulse racing at the same time. All resolve and reservation she'd had was long gone and in its place was a raging beast that was ravenous with desire.
Her hands reached, grabbed, pulled and scratched at any part of him she could reach, Ed moaning into her mouth as she did so. In return, he reached beneath her shirt, grabbing her waist and pulling her nearer the edge of the table, his pelvis meeting her there and grinding against hers.
She could feel how hard he was beneath his pants, Penny's own arousal aching between her legs and driving her wild with need. Neither of them noticed nor were perturbed by the rain that began to trickle around them, or the possibility that someone could stumble upon them at any moment.
The only thing that mattered was this feeling between them. Their warring lips dragged them further into the other, pushing them past any point of return. There was no conscious moment in which they made this decision, their bodies merely demanded and they obliged.
Penny's shirt was coming over her head, and for a moment she almost stopped him, but the feeling of his fingers sliding up along her sides was too heavenly for her to break away from. And when it did come loose, the cold air sending goosebumps down her exposed flesh. She pulled away to observe his reaction; his eyes flicking down to her chest as soon as it was free. Heavy with arousal, they found her breasts, both hands moving up to take a handful before he pushed her, back flat on the table.
"Fuck, I didn't know you were tatted," he groaned, face following after her and placing kisses all over her chest, over that cursed mark.
Penny let out a content sigh, getting lost in the grey sky above them in. With Ed, Penny was not bound by the shame of that mark; by the details that produced it and the monster who gave it to her. With Ed, she was just a girl with a cool tattoo, and none of it perturbed him. He did not pity her or feel the need to protect her; he just wanted her in the same way she wanted him. And in his kisses, which trailed closer and closer to her eager nipples trapped beneath her bra, Penny found a freedom she'd almost forgotten.
After a tortuous amount of time he finally pushed her bra strap off her shoulder and his hot mouth gave her nipple exactly what it was screaming for. Hands clutched in his hair and her legs wrapping around his hips, Penny moaned, grinding herself even more vigorously against him, her hands ensuring he remained exactly where he was.
When he'd thoroughly tended to her right nipple, he moved to the left, Penny losing all sense of herself, utterly lost in the pleasure that Ed bestowed upon her. Her bursting point came when he cruelly moved away, his mouth skimming her neck and his hand sliding gently along her side again.
Reaching down, she found the buckle to his pants and had it pulled from his waist and undid his button before Ed could say "Penny," the words becoming a moan when she took the hand she just spat on and grabbed his hard cock firmly in her hand.
"I won't last if you work me up too much," he said into her neck, utterly helpless against her.
His breathing was quick and hot, his cock throbbing in her hand.
"Well, you know what to do then," Penny said in his ear, letting go.
"Are you sure? I mean anyone could—"
"I've never wanted anything more than to not give a shit about society's expectations and cum right on this table. So shut up and fuck me already," Penny said, pulling her skirt up and pushing her underwear aside.
Lifting himself off of her, Ed positioned himself at the end of the table, his eyes trailing hungrily over her half naked form, cheeks flushed and looking barely in control of himself. But he did not keep her waiting long, his penis nudging the hand resting on her clitoris. Reaching for it, Penny guided it to her vagina, Ed pausing just outside as a shudder of pleasure overcame him. He was trying to steady himself, but Penny was impatient, thrusting her hips downward and forcing him inside. Being as aroused and wet as she was, he slid in easily, Penny gasping when the entire length of him settled inside her.
"Bloody hell, I didn't know it would feel this good," Penny said. "I've never been with a guy before."
"You can't say things like that if you want me to make this worth your while," Ed complained, moving back toward her and resting on his elbows so he could kiss her again, his hips moving back and forth in a slow rhythmic motion.
"And here I thought you'd be a harder nut to crack," Penny whispered in his ear, her own hand making circles on her clitoris to match his rhythm,
"You are utter perfection, Penny. I never stood a chance," he panted, his eyes glancing down to watch her boobs bounce beneath him.
"Yeah well, whatever you're doing is also perfect, so don't stop," Penny all but begged. She could feel her orgasm was absurdly close, almost embarrassingly so. It'd been barely five minutes, but her months of unsatiated horniness combined with the excitement of finally fucking Ed, and in such a public place were a lethal combination she was defenseless against.
"Where do you want me to cum," he said, barely audible now, as though he were using all his energy to keep himself from cumming before her.
"Face, chest, whatever tickles your fancy," Penny replied absent-mindedly, too focused on her own climax.
Sitting half-upright and resting her weight on one hand, Penny looked down, watching his pelvis thrust his penis in and out of her, his splayed jeans fluttering as he did so. She felt so close to him, at the mercy of his body, a prisoner to the pleasure he offered her. It was here, to the sound of the rain on the table, Ed letting out a strangled moan, and the rhythmic thumping of him against her that Penny let go, allowing Ed to give her the release she needed.
"I'm cumming," she stuttered, watching as his abs tightened and he pulled out of her, hand guiding his penis to her stomach where he sprayed her with his cum, the pair of them finding each other's lips and moaning in pleasured-unison. The euphoria of it consumed an instant and an eternity at the same time.
Flopping backwards, Penny's muscles gave out, only her lungs working overtime now, Ed falling on top of her and breathing heavily in her ear.
"You're some kind of witch, aren't you," he said.
"What?" Penny said, suddenly alarmed. How would Ed have known that?
"You had to have bewitched me. I've never had sex like that," he said, turning his head to the side to get a better look at her.
"Oh," Penny said, feeling suddenly silly for her paranoia. "How do you normally have sex?" she asked, feeling somewhat abashed. She probably should have asked Draco for some pointers before sleeping with a guy, she really had no idea what to expect or what she was doing.
"Not in public, for one. And I can't say anyone has ever demanded I fuck them before, you bossy girl," he said with a crooked smile, lifting himself just enough to give her a soft kiss on the lips.
"Liked that did you?" Penny grinned into his lips. "Well, I liked how quickly you obliged me."
"Yeah? I'll oblige you anytime, my dear."
"Is that so?" Penny said, leaning in close, her lips just grazing his.
"Give me a few minutes and I'll show you," Ed replied, eyes fixed on her lips making Penny grin. She could not help how much she liked knowing she had this power over him and his desire.
"As much as I'd like to take you up on that, I'm expected elsewhere and if I'm late I'll get into trouble," she said giving his bottom lip a small nip before pushing Ed back into a standing position so she could tuck his shrunken penis back into his pants and slowly zip them up. He closed his eyes, letting out a soft moan when her hand lingered momentarily on his penis. Penny knew it would not take much for it to get hard again so she decided to let go before she pushed them again past the point of no return and reached for his belt.
If truth be told, none of this is what she'd expected coming here today, but that seemed to just be how things always went when Ed was around. He had a way of making her forget herself when she was with him. He and his simple, yet not-so-simple muggle life were a breath of fresh air Penny had not realized she desperately needed. And now that she'd found it, she was loath to lose it. But hanging onto Ed was a kind of selfish Penny could not bring herself to be because her life was not simple, and the things he made her forget would not relent in dragging her back to a path she could not escape. The truth was, knowing Penny put Ed in danger. If she cared for him, someone would find out sooner-or-later and they would make him suffer to use her.
But the truth of all this was not something she could share with Ed given the law, not to mention it would be a hard pill to swallow for anyone. She'd reasoned that giving half-truths was no better than out-right lying, and in her heart, Penny knew, while tortuous for herself, the white lie she would tell was better for Ed. She would not cause him any pain for her own peace of mind.
"Is it your fiancé?" Ed said, those normally mischievous features suddenly serious. "We didn't move too fast did we? Because if we need to take this slower I'm totally fine with that—"
Penny cursed Snape's vindictiveness for spilling such information. He always had to make everything exponentially more difficult.
"No, of course not! In fact I reckon we could have moved a little faster, not that I regret anything, this was perfect.
It was Ed's turn to chuckle. Leaning forward, he brushed her cheek with the side of his finger. "Have I told you today you're much too adorable when you're flustered," he taunted, placing another kiss on her mouth. "When can I see you next then?" he went on, turning to grab her shirt and force it over her head. Those soul piercing eyes of his crinkled in amusement when he succeeded and she forced her head out of the hole, her hair most certainly in disarray.
Penny couldn't help but smile back. Pulling her arms into the shirt, she leaned forward and returned his kiss with another, savoring the feeling of being near him.
"Tomorrow," she said, knowing full well that come tomorrow she would be on the Hogwarts Express, headed back to a life that was supposed to be her own but she felt oddly estranged from.
Taking hold of her hips, Ed deepened the kiss, Penny's arousal rearing its head for the second time. How was she supposed to leave when he was this alluring?
"That's cheating," she complained into his mouth.
"Just ensuring you don't forget me."
The words cut at Penny's heart. She reached for his hand and squeezed.
"That would be impossible, Ed," she said quietly. "Now walk me to Homer street won't you?"
Lacing his hand through hers, Ed led her back the way they'd come. He chattered merrily as he went, but Penny found herself unable to focus on anything other than their intertwined hands, so when he turned to her, she was startled to find them standing on the sidewalk.
"Is this far enough? I don't know where your fiancé lives but I don't have anything else going on if you want company."
"Nah, that's alright this is far enough. I wouldn't want his bad mood to dampen our day," said Penny.
"Alright, see you later then." He was kissing her, that wild hair of his tickling her neck, lips warm against Penny's, a summer of memories flowing between them. But before she could catch them, or force the words that were lodged in her throat out, he was turning, walking down Homer street with a skip to his step and a bob to his head like he was singing some song.
"Goodbye, Ed."
Unable to stand and wait for him to disappear from her sight, wondering if he might turn, Penny turned first, on her heel and with a loud crack appeared again elsewhere. Feet moving without thought, Penny stopped at the door, reached in her pocket and withdrew a key, inserted it into the lock and pushed the door open.
It was dim inside, but her eyes found him on the sofa, a book in his hand. Black eyes trailed from his page, finding her green ones and narrowing. Looking quickly away from him, Penny made for the sofa and plopped down beside him with a loud sigh, shutting the door behind her as she went.
"What happened, Potter," he drawled after a minute ticked by in conspicuous silence.
"I need a favor."
"Do you now. And if I have grown tired of cleaning up after your proclivity for recklessness?"
"I need you to obliviate Ed," Penny blurted out, sinking lower in the sofa as though that would save her from the all-seeing eyes of the man beside her. "Just make him forget me, and make sure he's happy. . .Please."
Penny closed her eyes, the silence between them making her even more nervous. She crossed her fingers, begging Merlin that for once in his life Snape would not pry. But she had no such luck.
"You broke the statute of secrecy, didn't you!" he accused.
"No! I'm not that stupid," Penny said turning on him incredulously.
"Then why, pray tell, would you be having such a change of heart after being so hellbent on befriending that hooligan in the first place. What changed?" he demanded.
His dark eyes flashed dangerously, they seemed to flip through all her guilty thoughts like one might a book, leaving Penny feeling embarrassed, exposed and deeply regretting the decision to turn to him. Cheeks red, she got to her feet in an attempt to hide how flustered she was and pretended to reach for a book as casually as possible.
"Is it really so hard for you to believe that the only change of heart I've had was to heed your advice. I'm going back to Hogwarts tomorrow, how was I supposed to explain my absence?" Penny tried to lie, but Snape was on his feet, snatching the book from her and backing her into a corner, looking for eye contact to confirm his suspicions.
"Do you think me stupid, Potter? Your pitiful attempts to lie will not fool me, or have you forgotten I spend my time with better liars than you. Nevertheless you have succeeded in astounding me with your stupidity. Or need I remind you if that oaf goes running his big mouth like I am certain he will and the ministry gets wind of it, then it is at the discretion go Yaxley that you will find yourself," Snape said rather more severely than Penny thought was necessary considering she was all too wary of ever being near Yaxley again.
"I didn't break the statute!" Penny reiterated in annoyance. This was not at all how she'd wanted this conversation to go.
"Then why—"
"Bloody hell, we had sex alright! Is that what you wanted to hear!" she admitted, hoping the shock of the admission would end this argument.
The irritated dark haired man before her grew unnaturally still, the vein throbbing dangerously in his neck. And yet, he did not respond. A reaction that was perhaps more unsettling than the beratement she'd anticipated. Instead he stood, fists clenched, face pale, watching her, the clock ticking behind him ominously. Penny merely stared back, half wincing in fear, and too afraid to look away lest she wake the beast inside of him.
"You did what," he finally said.
"You're not really going to make me say that again, are you."
"Explain to me, Potter. How, after learning what it takes to get clean, you would go back—"
"What are you on about? We had sex-i-n-t-e-r-c-o-u-r-s-e. You know, that thing that involves his penis making me feel really good—"
"SILENCE!" he cut across her in cold fury, his chest heaving. "Surely the only reason you would ever make such a deplorable decision would be to procure—"
"I didn't fuck him for drugs, if that's what you're insinuating," Penny replied, flabbergasted.
"Then how—" Snape said through gritted teeth.
"I don't know, we were sitting on a picnic table and we kissed and one thing led to another," Penny said, not seeing how any of this was relevant, nor how she was digging herself into a bigger hole. "I really didn't anticipate having to explain to you how these things work."
"Let me get this straight. You committed this transgression with that reprobate in public." His voice was soft, barely audible now, a sure sign of danger that made Penny realize just how stupid she had been to give him this information so freely.
"Depends on how you define public, technically no one saw us," Penny pointed out, taking a step back but she was trapped against the bookcase.
"Did you even use a condom!" he all but yelled..
"Well no, it's not like we were planning on having sex, it just kind of happened," Penny admitted, cheeks red with humiliation and thinking that was probably a poor decision. But that was a problem for later. How was it her luck that she would be forced to be having this conversation with Severus Snape of all people.
"You didn't—you let him—in you—STD's—or worse—PREGNANT," Snape fumed in a garbled mess of incoherent fury. "WHERE!" he demanded, eyes bulging.
"Where did he finish?" Penny said, trying to figure out what the man was trying to ask. "On my stomach, I swear it. If you don't believe me, there's probably still some there, I couldn't get it all—"
"NO, POTTER. WHERE EXACTLY DID THIS OCCUR," he screamed, turning away from her his fists clenched.
"Oh," Penny said quietly, wishing very much she could melt into the floor. "The park off Homer Street."
He turned abruptly away from her, Penny watching the man warily. Snape looked as though he was about to explode and would very much like to destroy everything in the vicinity when he did so. The man was seriously overreacting in Penny's opinion. Was sex not a natural thing for people to do? He was acting like she killed someone.
"You can't honestly be that mad, I'm 16—"
"Precisely, you are only 16! You do not have the faintest idea what such activities are capable of. What it can mean! Of course the boy was all too happy to prey upon your baser instincts. I'm sure he enjoyed himself for the whole two minutes it lasted," Snape said, turning back to her with a sneer.
"He was not the only one who enjoyed himself," Penny said coldly.
"Oh?" Snape said in a low voice, taking a step towards her. "Tell me, Potter, what was it he did that you enjoyed, hmm?" Another step to further push her off kilter after his words had already sent Penny floundering.
"I d-don't know."
"You don't know because it was not he who gave you anything to enjoy?" Snape said, pressing his advantage.
"Now you're just trying to be mean."
"No, Potter, I'm trying to teach you not to settle for the offerings of entitled men who will never bother to ask you about your needs!" Snape spat.
"Ed did!" Penny yelled, feeling angry now.
"Did he?" Snape said disbelievingly. "So I am to believe he took the time to familiarize himself with every curve of your body; every sensitive spot, even those you thought could not be touched; every nook that begs to be noticed and gave them their due attention? That his tongue unlocked secrets that racked your body with sensations you knew not possible?"
Again Penny found herself back against the bookcase, wary of Snape for an entirely different reason this time. The heat in her face was burning brightly in the midst of his interrogation, her imagination rife with inappropriate thoughts as the words poured from his mouth like wine made from the forbidden fruit.
"When he kissed you found that the passion he imbued into them made you long to delay your climax because the connection between you two was more euphoric than any pleasure? And when you did climax, you forgot where he began and you ended and allowed yourself to be enveloped by an intimacy unlike any other?" Snape pressed, his voice barely more than a whisper now.
Penny stared at him, her brows furrowed in disbelief and curiosity, breathing haggard, and hands shaking slightly. Listening to his words evoked images that felt far too real for her liking and made her body respond much too adeptly.
But this was not the time to be overcome by wayward hormones because Snape had also made her feel silly, inexperienced even. But while she wanted to reject his words and continue their yelling match, he had struck a nerve in her. While he was certainly still reprimanding her, they were the words of a man who sincerely meant what he was saying, and Penny couldn't help but feel that they came from a place that only wanted something more for her.
Being an orphan, Penny did not have parents to talk about these sorts of things with and she would never dare to attempt to have these conversations with Harry. Everything she knew and thought about the topic came from experience which unfortunately meant she was forced to endeavor in those experiences without understanding, expectation or knowledge. Could sex be something much more than chasing that orgasm? The thought made her feel juvenile for not knowing, and also intensely desirous to find out.
Penny knew she could not lie despite the fact she wanted nothing more than not to admit to his face how little she knew or had experienced. But she refused to concede to him, refused to let him gloat any more. While she appreciated the insight only experience could give, Penny did not appreciate the manner in which he'd chosen to share it with her, so she remained silent, her jaw clenched and nose in the air. She could keep some of her dignity regardless.
"No. Because you have never bothered to think about sex as anything more than an achievement of a cheap orgasm," he answered for her, the derision in his voice dripping like hot honey.
"So fucking what," Penny burst out, unable to keep silent a moment longer. "It's not like not trying would ever get me any closer to learning that fact. It's like you have this standard of perfection you're always measuring me against, and while I can try to understand it comes from a place of caring for me and wanting better things for me, you need to understand that sometimes I just want to live my life. You of all people should know how little control I get to have of it because of this utterly bullshit situation we find ourselves in. So please, can you just tell me if you'll do what I've asked of you without the commentary?I get it, I'm a fuck up, what else is new?"
The derisive anger etched into Snape's features seemed to melt into his pale complexion. Penny could see in his dark eyes that her words had reached him and the need to continue reprimanding her had long fallen away to be replaced with a kind of regret. What was left was an expression that Penny could not quite place. However, she could not deny it was much softer than she expected it to me, splashing the raging fire in her heart with cold water.
"Yes, Potter. I will do as you've requested, under one condition."
"How about no conditions?" Penny tried shamelessly, but when Snape remained silent, clearly unamused with her effort she relented. "Fine. What is it?"
"Tell me why it is you want him to forget you."
It was not the question she'd been expecting and paired with the intensity with which he looked at her, it unsettled her. He wasn't demanding or looking for himself, he was asking her what it was she was feeling. With the way the summer had gone, Penny appreciated the sentiment even if she found it difficult to say exactly what she was feeling.
"I can't do it," Penny said to the floor. "I can't fall in love with someone just to watch them be taken from me again."
"I will not try to convince you otherwise, but I will remind you, it will not always be this way. So do not throw out all possible hope and miss your chance when the time comes," Snape said softly before turning away from her and reaching for his jacket hanging on the rack. He paused with his hand on the door knob and glanced back at her, "I'll return on the hour, if you would stay for dinner."
"C-can I use your shower while I wait?" she asked, feeling oddly awkward about asking the question knowing he knew why it was she wanted the shower.
"When will you learn you do not require permission to use something that is yours."
For some reason, the words were oddly soothing coming from him, and although he did not say it outright, Penny felt his intent. She gave him a small smile and a wave—he wanted her to make herself at home, something Penny found a little too easy to the fact of the matter was, wherever Snape was always felt like home to her.
"You didn't tell me there would be dessert!" Penny complained, eyes bulging from her head when Snape returned from the fridge with a custard. "Custard is my favorite, too," Penny muttered mutinously. She had eaten far too much already, but Snape's cooking had been too good to put her fork down, and now she had no room left for custard.
"I know," Snape said, sliding a small bowl in her direction before dishing himself some.
"This is a plot to make me gain weight so n one will want to sleep with me again, isn't it," Penny accused him, unable to stop herself from picking up her spoon and diving right now.
The vein in his temple gave an annoyed pulse while he rolled his eyes, but otherwise he didn't comment. An effort Penny had to admire. Perhaps he really was intent upon having a healthier relationship with her and his outbursts.
"I'll clear up," Penny said, intercepting Snape and snatching the dishes from him before he could take them to the sink after they'd finished. He eyed her suspiciously for a moment, as though he did not trust her to do them properly but he seemed to decide it was better to not argue with her about it.
Leaving her to it Snape made his way through the sliding glass door for the patio. He did not turn on any lights as he went, but when Penny glanced out the window, the glowing red embers of a cigarette told her what he was doing.
He still had not come inside by the time Penny finished, so she followed him outside.
Snape sat on the top most step, knee's splayed wide, his elbow resting on one as he took a long drag. Without waiting for an invite, Penny hopped down the steps and plopped herself a step below Snape, right between his knees and then leaned back into him, tilting her head as she went to look up at him.
He paused, lips still pressed snugly around the cigarette and peered down at her. Penny suppressed a mischievous grin, wondering if the man knew she was about to beg him to share his cigarette, but a hand grazing her left cheek stopped her before she even opened her mouth.
The jolt that passed between them when his skin touched hers quickened Penny's pulse embarrassingly, distracting her from his intended misdeeds. Surely a man as observant would notice the change in her, so naturally the part of her that wanted to keep this information to herself almost convinced her to look away and pretend, as she always did, that there was nothing unusual about it the way his touch felt on her skin. Today her mind, however, had other plans, and she finally allowed herself to resist her impulses and focus on what it was that she felt.
When she'd learned about her expression and the link between her and Snape, everything had come in an overwhelming whirlwind that she never got the chance to process. For two years now, one thing had just been piling on another, so Penny's mind adapted by accepting certain things as 'normal.' In all fairness, prior to her fourth year, there hadn't been many opportunities for Penny to have noticed because she and Snape never really came into physical contact though they spent so much time together.
When they did, it'd been odd, unsettling even, especially having grown up with the Dursley's where the physical touch she typically experienced was painful. Given her connection with Harry though, Penny was accustomed to strange experiences and did not always know when to question them.
But sitting here and thinking on the few times she'd been physically close, even intimate with other people, Penny could not help but note how different this sensation was. With the merest of touches Snape set her nerves on fire. How was it that her body came to decide he was the thing with which it loved to respond to? That just by his nearness she felt so much more alive? More important yet, what did it mean and what did he feel. While the last time she'd tried to broach this subject it ended very poorly, Penny felt compelled, sitting beneath the starless sky, the light from the kitchen window casting Snape in a soft glow to try again—even if only to confirm it was her imagination.
"Why does it feel so different?" she asked quietly, his hand still sliding idly back and forth along her jaw.
The dark eyes considered her for a moment before he turned upward to release the breath he was holding, leaving her to look at his long, slender neck and prominent jawline.
"Sometimes, Potter, words are incapable of explaining life's secrets, and I would rather not waste my time looking for something I might not find when I understand enough not to desire squandering what is precious to me. That it feels this way is enough, I require no other explanation than that." Snape said, turning back down to her, his hand now caressing her hair and his eyes traversing the length of her features, pausing on each as though committing them to memory.
Chest fluttering, Penny closed her eyes, unable to tarnish such a lovely sentiment with anything that might come from her mouth. Instead, she laid there, drifting off to the quiet hum of Snape's melody and the soft caress of his hands.
"Look at her, our girl, all grown up and starting her 6th year," simpered George, pinching her cheek affectionately when Penny entered the kitchen. "What will we do without you here to clear the dishes," he went on, pretending to get emotional.
"Harharhar," Penny said through bleary eyes, giving Fred a kiss on the cheek when he handed her a mug of coffee.
Penny blinked, taking a seat at the bench. Lee Jordan was notably absent and Fred still looked a little off, but he was here, handing over charge of the bacon over to George, who seemed especially eager to do as Fred asked; so it had to at least be a move in the right direction.
"You better not squander the year studying. We're counting on you to take over running the night of Mayhem in our stead," Fred said
"Me?" Penny said, feeling suddenly more awake.
"Yeah, don't tarnish our good name," George added, setting a plate of bacon before them.
Watching them picking the bacon with their hands from the shared plate knowing they refused to get separate plates because they hated washing up, Penny shook her head with a smile.
"Fine. So long as you remember to write."
"And you come back for Christmas," said George, snatching the perfectly crispy piece before Penny could secure it. "Because Merlin knows this one will be a great sulk if you don't."
"I'll see what I can pencil in," Penny grinned.
"Are you being a brat, Penny Potter?" said Fred looking mildly impressed.
"Just keeping you on your toes," she laughed, trying to dive away when he reached for her, but she was too slow and Fred dragged her from her chair and gave her a particularly ruthless noogie.
"Better watch it or there will be a niffler in your stocking this year," he threatened when he finally let her go.
Dragging herself from the floor with as much dignity she could muster, Penny turned to Fred, arms outstretched. He recoiled at first, apparently expecting it to be a trick.
"Honestly!" she said, "And you wonder why I never share my feelings."
Taking the opening, George wrapped her in a bone crushing hug, kissing her cheek as he did so. "I'm so proud of you our little Pennykins, no longer making it painfully obvious your parents didn't love you."
"My parents are dead," Penny said darkly when he let her go.
"Which means they weren't here to love you," George said wisely, taking a last bite of bacon. "Toodles! And don't forget to tell Katie I'm still mad she forgot about coffee."
Before Penny could respond, she was engulfed in a second bone crushing hug.
"You'll be okay. Just try and enjoy yourself."
Penny clung on for a moment longer when Fred made to let go, pressing her head into his shoulder and just allowing her to relax in the embrace. Since Sirius' passing and deciding to face her grief Penny had resolved to hang on a little bit longer anytime she got the chance.
"I love you," she said, her throat feeling unusually dry.
"I love you too, Penny," Fred said. "Now get, before you miss the train."
An hour later Penny was cursing her life while dragging her trunk on busy London trams. Why had she not decided to go with Harry and the others and why was it that no one seemed to think she needed an escort too? The idea of having someone here with her now to carry the absurdly heavy trunk was making her a little too annoyed and emotional considering it was Lupin or Sirius who typically did these things for her.
Panting profusely once she'd dragged the trunk off the tram and wondering why she had not tried to convince Fleamont to use his mysterious powers to take her trunk before she sent him onward, Penny jumped when a pleasant voice said, "Ah, Miss Potter, glad I caught you."
Whirling around Penny looked up into the half-moon spectacles and sparkling blue eyes of none other than Albus Dumbledore, her headmaster.
"S-sir?" she said, bewildered. Taking note of the absurd muggle multi-colored sweater arrayed in puffy, knitted balls that he'd paired with a kilt. This was hardly a more discrete choice than muggle robes.
"So sorry to accost you on the street. I had been hoping to catch you before you left Mr and Mr Weasley's residence, but alas, I got held up. It seems there was a bit of an emergency regarding plans for today's welcome feast. Something about mercury being in retrograde according to Professor Trelawney."
"Right," Penny said, feeling even more confused at this point.
"I was hoping you would accompany me. We have a last minute enrollment who requested assistance getting to school."
"Erm, sure, of course I'll help, sir. But why do you need me?"
"Oh, I think that will become apparent once we arrive and I wouldn't want to ruin the surprise," Dumbledore said with a smile, and waving his wand in an impressively fluid motion, Penny's trunk disappeared.
Not entirely sure she wanted to take the hand he offered to her, Penny was at least relieved to no longer have to drag her trunk the three blocks to Platform 9 ¾.
This year was starting off very strangely, but she decided to believe it was an omen of change signifying it would be one to remember—for all the right reasons.