Hey folks!
Hope everyone has had a good weekend. Sorry I was away, I was celebrating the holiday with my family and eating way more food than I should have. But I had a great time so I really can't complain!
Being very not in the holiday spirit, we return to Snape and Penny still at odds as she tries to figure out how to help Draco and he struggles the task he MUST SOON COMPLETEEE. Goddd, I don't want to write it, but I must :(
Penny looked upon the expanse before her, feeling disturbingly insignificant in its wake. The thought of the paths being as endless as time unsettled her. It felt far too easy to lose herself in the nothingness of it all.
"I don't like it," Penny admitted, glancing sideways at Adrian.
"That is because you don't understand it."
"I understand it's not natural."
"Not familiar," he corrected.
"Right."
"Time, Penny, is merely the thing that links all our choices together. It is a pathway, one that seers have learned to traverse."
"What does time have to do with this?"
"Time is what you're looking at."
"I thought I was looking at the paths."
"They are one and the same."
"Because if I tried to walk across it it'd be a giant waste of time?"
"If you did so without a purpose, yes," he said, smiling despite himself. "It'll be easier to understand if you try."
"I won't end up back in the inbetween will I?" Penny said, glancing nervously at him.
"Don't you trust me, Penny?" he said, poking her in the side and feigning an expression of deepest despair.
"It's nothing against you, I've just come to accept all the bad luck in the world has decided to converge on me."
"Then I suppose I'll just have to be your good luck charm then."
"At your own risk," she grimaced.
Ignoring her, he took a gentle hold of her shoulders and led Penny forward, positioning himself just behind her. "When you look across the plane, do not allow your eyes to dictate what you see, tell them to look beyond."
Penny suppressed a snort of laughter, the command felt obscenely absurd, but given they were even standing on this plane to begin with, there was probably some merit to his instructions.
For a long while, Penny stared, not even allowing herself to blink, Adrian waiting patiently beside her. The scene before her remained stubbornly unchanged, except for the fact it got a bit blurry as her eyes began to protest. Ready to throw in the towel with a juvenile stamp of her foot, Penny made to rub her eyes just when everything around her shifted.
At first, it felt as though Penny had lost her footing and that she was falling sideways toward the ground. She braced for the impact, but when she blinked, she found herself completely upright, but Adrian was no longer standing beside her.
She turned her head, fearful at first, when a loud thudding startled her. Whipping back around she found doors of every size, shape and color, crashing down before her making neat rows that seemed to span out as far as the plane had a moment prior.
The endless rows were surrounding Penny on all sides, giving her a sudden surge of deja vu. She remembered this place, but she did not know why, or how—she just felt at home all of a sudden.
While Penny was not entirely conscious of what to do next, she found herself moving forward, searching for something; something she could not put to words. But nevertheless she passed door after door, some rattling as she neared others making unsettling sounds she had never heard with her natural ears before, and still she pressed forward, somehow sure none of those she passed contained what it was she was looking for.
In the maze of doors, Penny weaved, her feet hastening, the heart in her chest thumping erratically. She was close, she had to be. Another right and a left and she'd found it, of this she was sure. The unassuming door stood on the opposite side of the row she'd just entered, giving off a faint bluish glow.
Though Penny was unaware of moving, she found herself standing expectantly before the door. Without hesitation she reached for the large, silver door knob, finding it warm to the touch. Penny paused, her brain catching up with her and reminding her body she was the one who got to make the decisions and perhaps this was not the best idea, considering she had no idea what lay behind this door. And yet the only way to find out was to open it and find out—an impulse that drowned out her reason.
Hand clasped tight, she turned, the light streaming through the door blinding her. It was so intense Penny felt like her retina's were being burned, making her let go of the door knob to cover her face.
When the pain in her eyes subsided, she tried opening them, finding herself unable to make out anything around her. The blanket of darkness was impenetrable, reminding Penny momentarily of Fred and George's peruvian darkness powder, but gradually, her eyes came to adjust.
The corridor standing before Penny was dark, the windows on either side telling her it was night. There was a massive hole in the wall to her left, rubble strewn across the floor all around her. It looked like a war zone, for a lack of a better word, Penny hearing yells in the distance that both ignited her curiosity and frightened her. If there was a confrontation, it felt distant, as though heard secondhand through one of those muggle televisions and not like she was actually immersed in it. This, for some reason, gave her some comfort.
But then someone up ahead appeared out of nowhere, startling her. She watched as he stopped at the T where her corridor met up with another, ducked behind a suit of armor just in time to dodge a jet of purple light. He peered out, shot a jet back, and made his break, green light streaked down after him, illuminating his brown hair and making Penny feel she knew this man. Her legs pounding after him despite the danger, she found getting down the corridor took longer than she anticipated, as though she were pushing against the current.
Panting slightly she turned at the corner he'd fled, finding what she realized was the Hogwarts Entrance Hall standing battered and desolate before her, the doors strewn wide barely hanging on their hinges.
The blue haze that she'd seen coming from the door in that strange room shimmered from the grounds now, Penny peering around and not finding the person she'd been chasing, so she followed the blue light.
When she made it through the doors she found light was exploding all over the grounds like fireworks that never made it into the sky. Gold clashed with purple, red soaring past white and green crashing into blue. Bodies laid strewn about, the remaining duelers stepping over or on them, a few tripping as they went. But Penny ignored them all, feet trudging through the mud with purpose oblivious to the faces she passed.
She only slowed when she found the source of the blue haze—a body laying face first in the ground as though it'd been hit in the back by a spell.
Penny could see now that it was a man, his leg bent grossly beneath him, arms also at odd angles. Dropping to her knees, she surveyed him, the sight of the long-ish brown hair streaked with grey making her feel sad but she did not know why. She needed to understand why, and not entirely comprehending the sight before her, Penny reached for his shoulder with the ease of reaching for a book, pulled the man over, into her lap so she could study his face and put the mystery to an end.
His arm flopped after him with a sickening thud, Penny's eyes trailing to the mud splattered face, mouth hanging open loosely, and eyes wide, as though his last moment was one of disbelief or betrayal.
The world rumbling distantly around them, Penny stared at the same eyes that so often creased in happiness when looking at her; the eyes she'd, for so long, sought comfort in; the same eyes that made her heart pang when she remembered the way they'd accused her of being the harbinger of his misery; the same eyes, that even now, she loved. It was into the empty shell of Remus Lupin she now looked; cast upon the ground, forgotten in the wake of such violence, just another stumbling block to those who still clung on to life. Forgotten and reduced to this limp heap—dead, gone and lost to her. Penny looked down at the corpse of Remus Lupin, arms trembling as her brain tried to comprehend the truth of it.
"Look at me! At me!"
The awful, shrill screaming came to a sudden end, Penny rolling over on the cold floor and retching violently. She was covered in a cold sweat and shaking from head to toe. Though she understood she was no longer there, in that horrid place, she could not stop seeing those vacant eyes dancing before her, despite trying to focus on the classroom before her; the classroom she knew she occupied with Adrian and Snape once a week to work on Penny's seer abilities.
"You're back, Penny. It's not real—" Adrian assured her with a hand on her head.
"It was!" Penny rasped when she finally managed to get control of her stomach.
"It was a just possibility—"
"I told you to look at me, Potter," demanded Snape, pulling Penny onto her back to lean over her and get a better look at her.
"I saw—why did I see that?" Penny said, the world swimming before her and making her feeling suddenly nauseous again.
A blissfully cool hand touched her cheek, allowing Penny to focus on it and the calm it sent sweeping through her. "Hogwarts was destroyed—fighting everywhere. So many were—dead—and I found," she went on trying to cling onto the details that were quickly escaping the grasp of her mind. "Remus, he was among them—" she was finally able to blurt out, capturing that one important detail.
"Listen, Penny, it is not the kind of thing I would have wanted you to see on your first try, but you have to listen to me when I tell you nothing about what you saw is decided," Adrian said, his normally bright features, worried, if not guarded.
"Then how the hell do seers make any predictions?" Penny fumed, rubbing her head vigorously, trying to force it to reconnect with her body so she could focus and feel less wayward.
"By understanding the context and looking at several of the other possibilities to compare. It takes much time to understand where the extremes of someone's choices lay, and where the most likely outcome sits in comparison."
"That's supposed to make me feel better, telling myself that Remus dying a horrible death might not be all that likely?" Penny argued, allowing Snape to take her wrist so he could check her vitals.
"I understand it's difficult, but it's a lesson all seers learn, and nothing but continuing to look can help you understand it."
Penny watched her friend, pretty bright eyes apologetic but steadfast. It was not easy for him, but he was doing his best to impart to Penny the foundation to her abilities, which she imagined was no easy task given her ineptitude.
"Fine, you're the boss, but not tonight. I can't again after. . ." she trailed off, glancing up at Snape. He was shaking out his handkerchief before using it to wipe the sweat from her face.
"Of course. Do you want me to help you—"
"You may go, Mr. Martikov. I think you've done quite enough for one night," Snape cut across him.
"See you tomorrow?" Penny said, giving her friend's hand an apologetic squeeze. She did not have the will or the desire to argue with Snape, she was still too disturbed by what she'd just seen and did not look forward to ever looking again to determine how likely it was that Remus was going to die there. It was far too personal to be spoken about in such a blasé way.
Adrian nodded, casting a wary look at Snape before giving her hand a little squeeze that made the corners of Snape's mouth curl in displeasure. His dark eyes did not leave Adrian until he disappeared through the door, but when he had, the thought that seemed to be swirling through them dissipated and he turned back to Penny, who was trying to wiggle herself into a sitting position.
It was not elegant, and she figured she probably strongly resembled a turtle, but he took pity on her, helping her and holding her steady when she took her head in her hands in an attempt to calm herself.
"I don't know why it never occurred to me that I might encounter those kinds of visions."
"Need I remind you that you are under no obligation to encounter them. We can cease these ridiculous lessons at any time—" he said curtly.
"It's not that simple."
"So make it that simple."
"And just ignore the fact I saw my dead dad, jumped through the veil to the other side and came back out again? I'd prefer not to have any more surprises thrust on me, thanks."
"Because addressing your habit for meddling wouldn't accomplish exactly that," he said dryly.
"Helpful," Penny scowled. "What if he really dies like that. . ." she said quietly, ignoring the man as her mind drifted back to what she'd seen after she stepped through that door.
"Then there is nothing you can do, so stop imagining that there is."
"He didn't look more than a couple years older than he is now!" Penny protested.
"Tragic," Snape said, sounding decidedly insincere, irritating her, so she took a swat at him, but his reflexes were too sharp and he caught her wrist, dark eyes fixing on her face, brow arched in warning.
"That was blatantly insensitive," she said after a moment, knowing if she pressed this standoff he would merely give her more detention, so she accepted the mercy he was offering begrudgingly.
"No, it's reality. You would know this if you stopped imagining yourself as some master of death. The fact is, you are as beholden to the road laid out for you as the rest of us, Potter."
"Then what is the point of this!" she said, gesturing wildly around to indicate the lessons she'd been doing with Adrian
"There isn't one, as I have told you from the beginning!"
"Why does it not surprise me that a control freak like you can't handle the idea I might know more than you."
"Probably for the same reason it does not surprise me that you are so eager to believe yourself special, Potter."
"I am!" she said haughtily, trying to rip free of his grip but he doubled down, jerking her toward him as he leaned forward so their noses almost touched. "I mean just look at me, not everyone is so blessed with such bone structure and incredible wit," she added impulsively, slightly unsettled by the severe look on his face; annoyance flashing through his dark eyes at her jest.
"I can do nothing about your pleasant bone structure, but I would remind you that more often than not it has attracted unwanted attention from those who care little whether you have any wit at all. No, Potter. You are to be ordinary and aspire to nothing else. Do you understand me?"
"Don't like the idea others might appreciate what you take for granted, huh?" she smirked; the man not even bothering to deny the accusation, so she went on, "What is the point of having all these gifts if I don't use them for something or someone?"
"The point is to live, Potter. Only fools risk their neck for the belief in some greater good that does not exist. But it is only the living who get to make choices!"
"That's rich coming from the guy who risks his life everyday for the cause—"
"For you! And the annoyingly mundane life I wish to see you have!"
His words shocked her into silence. There was something oddly sweet, if not romantic about them. They reminded her strongly of Cedric and the way they'd dreamed about the life they might have had and the cottage he wanted so dearly to build. There was something very idyllic in the vision of it, the life Snape wanted for her; but it was also something that felt so far away from her and Snape. They'd had glimpses of it at Spinner's End, when it'd just been the two of them. Cooking, reading and taking long walks together on warm summer days that often made Penny forget herself and everything that came with being Penny Potter. For one anomaly of a summer, she'd been allowed to pretend she was just like any other girl, and Snape any ordinary man.
He too, must have felt it otherwise he would not have given Penny that key. Regardless, his words, they frightened Penny because he did not include himself in that future, as though he did not intend to see it, or didn't believe he deserved it. By giving her that key was he merely ensuring she had a place to go when he was no longer around?
"I don't want it if you don't intend to be there," Penny said, eyes narrowing dangerously.
"You will have it, nonetheless," was his short reply, lips a thin line.
"I assure you, I won't. If you go and let yourself die, I sure as hell will be following after you. So you either let me drag you back with me, or live in the afterlife with the guilt of knowing you robbed me of this ordinary life you covet."
"This is not a game, Potter!"
"And you're not expendable!"
"Yes I am! I must do these things at any cost. You are too ideological—"
"Ideological? For asking you, one of the most skilled wizards and legilimens in England and spy of the Order to value your life just enough to not throw it away pointlessly? If anything, you're a determined pessimist, and if your ego wasn't as insufferable as it is, I'd say you have imposter syndrome. But this is something else; it's you thinking I would be better off without you. I don't know why you feel that way, but I'm so sick of it and I refuse to tolerate it anymore," Penny huffed, green eyes blazing in defiance.
"Why do you always insist on refusing reason? What future do you imagine exists beyond these walls?"—his hand indicated violently toward the window just behind them—"Even if the Dark Lord were to be vanquished and I survive, most will never see past the deeds I abided, if not persecute me for the ones I am guilty. And let's not forget those whom I have betrayed, they will never stop wanting their vengeance. No, Potter, it is a pipe dream. I am your Professor and in time, like every student before you, you will graduate and outgrow this affection. Nothing lasts," the intensity with which he enunciated the last sentence sprayed spit across her face, almost derailing her, but she clung on refusing to let him dictate what she should eventually feel or think.
"Well, we will! Even if you don't think it's worth hanging onto, I do. And you want to know why? Because through all the insanity, violence and misery, you have never failed to show me all the good there is to be had; to make me feel whole again; and show me there might actually be a purpose to it all—if only we make it out the other side. But you're too bloody stupid to consider that you are the thing I imagined on the other side of this all!"
And ripping herself free of his hold, she pushed herself to her feet and marched to the door, anger blazing in her chest. He was a stupid, noble man who she wished she could shake some reason into, or at the very least, sensitivity. He was so intent on making himself pay for whatever he thought he was guilty of that he refused to see that he only succeeded in making them both suffer.
Surprisingly, he let her go, Penny half expecting him to stop her before she made it through the door, but to her fury it swung closed behind her without him so much as calling her back.
It was probably easier for him that way, to let himself believe the entire debacle was of her choosing. But it wasn't and she would make damn sure he knew that when he finally decided to throw himself in front of a bus and she would inevitably chase after him.
March arrived too soon for Penny's liking. The new year was moving much too quickly, Penny feeling as though she hadn't had the chance to enjoy it, being too preoccupied with the endless stressors in her life: Draco being the most prominent one.
"If it isn't the mystery man himself," said Penny, dragging her hoop beside Draco's.
After the excitement of her splinching in the first lesson, things had remained quite dull, with only a few managing to apparate at this point. However, it still remained one of the best times to corner Malfoy.
"Has it ever occurred to you that I might have other friends?" he drawled.
"But you don't like any of them as much as you like me, and every time I go looking for you none of them seem to know where you've gone."
"Some might call that a hint."
"You sound like Snape," Penny said, scowling.
"Oh? What hint is he wanting you to take these days? The one to meet him in an empty classroom so he can finally screw your brains out?" Draco smirked.
"Seeing as no one is screwing my brains out these days, I can't say I'd mind that. But stop deflecting, we're talking about you."
"Penny, you are much too attractive not to be enjoying all the casual sex you want," Draco said, Penny turning and finding his expression serious.
"Just the minor problem of not being able to take my shirt off—"
"Don't be so pathetically Gryffindorish. You could have your pick of any of the Slytherins."
"I'm sure," she said with an eye roll. "Even you cannot convince me a single one of them would risk the severe displeasure of a certain control freak who happens to be my fiancé."
"Then you know nothing about teenage boys. The thrill of getting caught makes it all the more enjoyable" he said with a pitying sigh.
"You realize that 'thrill' is just asking Snape for a slow, painful death right? Slytherins or not, they can't be that thick."
"Come off it, Penny. Vaisey and Urquhart are always shamelessly trying to look up that abominably short skirt of yours. Give them an offer and I guarantee they won't give it a second thought."
"And how would it look when it comes out that the sister of the Captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team shags the Captain of the Slytherin?"
"So you prefer Uruquhart do you?" Draco said, eyeing her with interest. "Can't say I disagree with your taste, it's the deep set eyes for me."
"I didn't say I preferred either!"
"Well, if you prefer coming out satisfied, I say go with Uruquhart. I'm even feeling charitable enough to pass the message along."
"You will do no such thing!"
"Don't be such a prude, Penny. We both know that fiancé of yours gets his rocks off as often as he likes, so why shouldn't you?"
"This isn't about Snape. Its about—"
"Your brother? I did not realize it was customary for siblings to be so involved in each other's sex lives, is that a twin thing?" he said, the disdain dripping from his tone.
"Maybe I prefer not sleeping with just anybody. Maybe I'm looking for a connection," Penny said angrily, making Draco snort derisively.
"Oh darling, if you're going to lie, you'll need to try harder than that."
"What makes you think I'm lying!"
Draco observed her critically for a long moment before turning back to his hoop to say, "Because connections are messy and your life is enough of a mess as is. Just meet Uruquhart in the passage behind Gregory the Smarmy. If there's no spark, fine. But if there is, you can finally loosen up a bit and enjoy yourself."
"What—no! Anyway, I came here to talk about you and where you're spending all your time—" but Penny didn't get to finish because with a pop he apparated five feet away in his hoop, a tall dark figure stepping up to occupy the space he'd just conveniently vacated.
"Is there a reason, Potter, you have not even bothered to pretend like you're paying attention?"
"Yeah, I'm busy doing your job for you," Penny said, annoyed as she watched Draco seamlessly blend into the crowd of students and disappear from view.
"And to which job would you be referring?" he said, voice a purposeful calm, making her feel he was trying to make up for being a total nob the other day.
"Draco! You're his head of house, so how about you try helping him before it's too late," Penny fumed in an angry whisper, glancing around to be sure no one was listening in.
"Whatever issue your incessant need to be the center attention has fabricated, I advise you to get over it before the patience of Mr. Malfoy and myself wears thin," Snape said, Penny reading in him how every word was calculated, curated to hide the truth from her.
"Nice try, but I know that's bullshit and you're keeping whatever he's been asked to do for—" she said, clearing her throat as she shifted uneasily at the thought of the Dark Lord. "After Yaxley's little display, there is no way you can convince me this isn't some punishment for Lucius' stupidity—"
"Ah yes, convinced by that intuition of yours are you? Tell me, has Mr. Malfoy given you any indication something is amiss?" Snape said, lip curling cruelly, a deflection tactic, she was sure.
"Well, not directly. But he doesn't need to, I know him," Penny replied lamely, making the curl deepen.
"In which case we are to assume he does not wish to confide in you?" Snape offered cooly.
"Hardly," Penny said briskly. "His efforts are to keep me occupied, which clearly indicates he is afraid of letting me get too close because he knows his resolve will break if he does."
"And how does Mr. Malfoy intend to keep one as nosy as you occupied?"
Lost in thought as she stared at her hoop, mulling over the situation Penny responded before realizing to whom she was saying the words to, "He's trying to set me up with some blokes who have no scruples shagging casually in classrooms."
"Who!" Snape hissed, after a moment's silence.
"Who what?" Penny said, turning confused.
"Which boys have the pleasure of being on this list!" he sneered.
"Considering they're all in your house, I feel like you should already know. But if it upsets you so much, try being a more attentive head of house, a better role model, you know?" she said, her own lip curling as she remembered that hooker from new years
"I will not ask you again, Potter. Who are they!"
"Why?"
"Because as you have so often displayed, you are incapable of making intelligent choices and I will not—"
"Excuse me?" Penny said, rounding on Snape and puffing herself up indignantly. "For your information, I hadn't even entertained the idea of Draco's offer, but seeing as I can never do anything right in your eyes, I suddenly have fewer qualms with the set up."
"You're being petty, Potter," Snape said through gritted teeth. "Under no circumstances are you to—"
"Exercise bodily autonomy and sleep with whomever I wish without your approval?" she offered scathingly. "If you don't like an open relationship, perhaps you should have thought about that before parading your whores in my face," Penny said, returning to a hissed whisper when she realized several people were eye them, evidently trying to listen in.
Snape's already pale features, if possible, became even paler at the accusation, spurring her onward. "All things considered, I think I'll be taking a page out of your book and focus on enjoying myself," and turning on her heel, Penny apparated away just before the claw-like hand reached for her.
"Potter!" Snape fumed, looking wildly around for where she'd gone, but like Draco, she made her escape among the other students, irritation guiding her steps.
The man had some nerve forbidding her from living her life. It was especially rich for him to be so set against the boys of his own house, as though he had not, if not, was exactly like them! All in all, Draco did have a point though, one Penny, for whatever reason had not thought of herself—her mark was of no issue, nor surprise to those in his house, taking away the number one reason Penny was avoiding any sort of intimacy.
She would not need to explain herself, just as she hadn't with Ed, and would be in no danger of their pity or revulsion being future Death Eaters themselves—a thought in and of itself that probably should have deterred her, but she glazed over. As Draco said, there was no harm in meeting the guy, and truth be told, he was easy on the eyes, so it would not be much of a hardship to spend an hour together.
Realizing she was basically stampeding down the corridor, Penny slowed down, she could not let Snape affect her this much, she needed to reclaim her control and put the idiot far from her mind, he was not worthy enough to make her this hot and bothered.
Turning down the next corridor, the sound of muffled sobs met her ears, Penny making her way as quietly as she could toward the classroom where she thought it was coming from. Peering inside she found a familiar head of bushy brown hair.
"Hermione?" Penny said, gently, moving inside and closing the door softly behind her.
"Oh, I didn't think anyone would be down here with apparition lessons—" Hermione mumbled, flushing as she tried to wipe her tears.
"I'm surprised you weren't there," Penny admitted, bridging the distance between them and sitting herself on the desk across from Hermione.
"I told McGonagall I wasn't feeling well," she said, looking nervously back at Penny.
"We all need a moment sometimes," Penny said with a small smile. "Anything in particular—"
"It's silly, really."
"My entire life is silly, so try me."
Hermione gave Penny an apologetic smile before settling more comfortably on her desk.
"Things have just been strained with the three of us."
"Because of Ron, you mean?"
"It's like he goes out of his way making a show of it—you know, with Lavender."
"Unfortunately so," Penny practically gagged. Ron and Lavender were almost always to be found locked together in the common room exchanging spit in the most invasive ways possible.
"I just want to make him know how it feels. And well, I tried with McLaggen but he's awful, I barely escaped him." She gave a little shudder that almost triggered PTSD from the night he'd tried to kiss Penny.
"Blegh, he absolutely is. I had to punch him to get him off me, but I'm glad you got off easier than that. Perhaps someone a little less repulsive might be a better option?"
"To be honest, I only chose him because Ron hates him so much."
"Yeah, but we are looking to make him suffer, not both of you. Go out with Ginny, that might do it?"
"Oh—I couldn't do that, not after everything—" Hermione murmured, playing awkwardly with her hands and glancing at Penny several times.
"We broke up on good terms, Hermione. At least talk to her, she loves a good opportunity to annoy Ron."
"Oh, no, I didn't mean it like that. Actually—I rather hoped you might. . ." she trailed off. "Seeing as you know everything—it could be casual and. . .believable," Hermione said, startling Penny with the conviction in her voice and the way her pretty eyes trailed over Penny, making Penny flush this time.
"Uh, well, I didn't see that coming," Penny stammered, running her hand through her hair. "What about Harry?"
"What about him?" Hermione replied, voice somewhat combative.
"I don't want to make things weird—"
"Harry has chosen Ron's side time and time again, let him be uncomfortable."
"It's up to you, really. Of course I'll help, but I guess I don't know what you're thinking—"
Mind whirling and face getting hotter by the second, Penny wondered how her day had decided to go the way it had. Hadn't her poor teenage hormones been tormented enough for one year? Perhaps it would have been better to say no, but Penny could not help but feel excited by the idea—because truth be told she found Hermione quite attractive. She was brilliant, witty, self motivated, and had very nice legs that Penny often found herself looking at. Getting the chance to kiss Hermione, even if they were just pretending, could not be that bad, could it?
"Hanging out won't be enough I don't think, we'll need to make a spectacle of it," she said sheepishly. "Not outright in the Gryffindor common room or anything, but just somewhere others would see and spread the word."
"Alright. When—"
"Well everyone will be leaving apparition lessons soon and heading this way back to common room. If we were to leave the door open while we—erm—" she glanced down at the floor. "And be in view of the door, surely someone would see us—" she said hurriedly, giving Penny the impression this was not the first time she'd considered the idea.
Truth be told, her proposition moved things a lot faster than Penny anticipated, giving her no time to compose herself or her thoughts, but she nodded anyway, sending Hermione scurrying through the room in an attempt at trying to decide how they would be situated. In the end, she opted for dragging a chair forward, and placing a very flustered Penny on it.
"Obviously it will need to be believable, so just do what you'd naturally do," Hermione said, absent—mindedly, as she checked her clock again.
"Right," Penny said, wishing very much that her heart would stop pounding so loudly in her ears.
Muffled footsteps from the corridor sent a flush up Hermione's neck and she looked at Penny, as though hesitating. "Are you sure, Penny? I don't want to—"
"It's fine, Hermione," Penny assured her, suddenly worried she would lose the opportunity.
Hesitating for a fraction of a second longer, she finally relented with an unholy bite of her lip and straddled herself across Penny's lap, brown hair tickling Penny's check, and a wave of spearmint crashing across Penny's face
"I-I'm going to kiss you now," she whispered
Breath hitching in her chest, Penny watched Hermione's pink lips move toward her own. When they met, there was no hesitancy in them. On the contrary, the fierceness with which Hermione kissed Penny startled her and sent the already kindling desire within her blazing. She forced herself to stifle her moan, releasing the tension in the fingers that dug their fingernails into the thighs at either side of her, prompting Hermione to let out a long breath into Penny's mouth. Pressing back in, Penny consumed her mouth, finding it delightful.
The kissing intensifying much more than Penny expected, Hermione pulled away, breathing hard, but instead of returning to her mouth, she took a fist full of Penny's hair and tugged just hard enough to force her head back, giving her access to her neck.
The intensity of the girl's sucking told Penny she would have a very vivid mark later, but the bliss of receiving it made it hard to care. Hermione could leave as many marks as she pleased. So long as Penny could continue her roaming, her greedy hands tugging Hermione's neatly tucked shirt out from her skirt so she could find her bare hips and squeeze.
Releasing her neck, Hermione's brown eyes flickered to Penny's, her lips plum colored and cheeks a brilliant shade of fuchsia. The sight of her filled Penny with such a yearning that she almost forgot they were acting and tore off her shirt.
Voices murmured from behind them, but Penny barely noticed. If this ruse was to be up soon, Penny would not waste a moment of it, and pulling Hermione back towards her, she thrust her tongue into her mouth, receiving the most pleasing moan in response.
Come Monday morning, everyone in Gryffindor had heard about Hermione and Penny's little rendezvous, including Harry, who was purposefully trying to avoid the subject, though he grimaced everytime he caught sight of the hickey on Penny's neck.
Hermione and Penny spent Sunday afternoon studying together, something that Penny found almost unbearable, considering how distracted the girl made her after making Penny so unbelievably aroused that she could not stop thinking about kissing her again as soon as possible.
Hermione sat close, her leg rubbing against Penny's, saturating her underwear until Penny finally made her great escape by going to bed early. It took several sessions of relieving herself for Penny to find any self-control for when they walked hand-in-hand to all their classes, Snape's eyes nearly bulging out of his head when they entered his class like this. It did not take long for his eyes to trail to Penny's neck and then back to Hermione, examining the girl as though he suspected her to be guilty of some concealment charm.
To no surprise to Penny, come the end of class, he told Penny to stay back, snapping the door shut after the last student exited and whisking his way to Penny's desk, where she was now standing, packing her stuff up slowly in resignation.
This most assuredly would not be pretty.
"You will use this to rid yourself of that disgusting mark. I will not tolerate students' wanton displays of breaking school rules," he said, thrusting a bottle at her.
"I didn't realize being a teenager was now against school rules," Penny said dully, tossing the bottle nonchalantly into her bag.
"You are not leaving this classroom until it's gone," he snapped, reaching in and pulling the bottle back out.
"Why? Too much of a reminder of how you wished you'd given me one in return on new years?" Penny quipped with a smirk when she glanced sideways at him.
"We are not discussing that occasion of poor judgment, Potter, we are discussing the current one."
"Sorry to disappoint you, prince, but I do not regret either in the least. I'll never forget that look on your face. And I must admit, I found receiving one to be quite satisfying." Penny said, giving him a patronizing pat on the shoulder before moving past him.
"Your appetite for exhibitionism will not run rampant any longer! You will choose behaviors befitting of all Hogwarts students and put an end to this little stage of yours!" he said in a low voice, cold hand clasping her wrist.
"Exhibitionism? I got a girlfriend I like to kiss, it's not like I had an orgie in the prefects bathroom!" Penny scoffed.
"Don't lie to me, Potter. I know full well Granger has always liked that half-wit and never shown the slightest bit of interest in you! This is all nothing but another little display of yours to irritate me."
"Seems like it worked then, if that's the case, so I think I'll leave the mark where it is."
"No, you will not," he said through gritted teeth, dragging her by the wrist until he reached the wall, which he pushed her against; an unkind hand taking a hold of her head and turning it so her cheek was flush against the cold wall, allowing him access to her neck.
"Get off me you nutcase! You can't just manhandle students whenever you feel like it, that's abuse!" Penny raged, trying to kick at the man. She found little success in the effort, Snape's other hand uncorking the bottle despite her protests.
"Do you know what the word no means!" she continued when he did not respond.
"I do, Potter, it is you who would do well to use it a little more often!"
He was pouring the contents of the vial into his finger, and pressing closer into her to keep her still, giving Penny a last, but risky opportunity.
Knowing she would very much regret it later, she leaned forward, her hand reaching into his right pocket and pulled out his wand. Realizing too late what she'd done, he was blasted backward onto the floor, hitting the back of his head on a table as he went.
Chest heaving and fear starting to prick at the edges of her mind, she looked down on him trying to process the fact she'd actually attacked a professor with his own wand. Not that anyone would condemn her for it, he'd been attacking her. But she'd need to escape the room to have any hope of pleading her case and unfortunately for her, Snape stood between her and the door.
He groaned from the floor, Penny watching in utter disbelief as he sat up, head moving in an almost comically slow manner until he found her—the glint of murder in his eyes.
"I'm sorry, but you deserved it!" she said, voice as unsteady as her shaking hand.
"Give it to me," he said softly.
"Not until you listen to me!"
He was on his feet, eyes calculating, weighing her resolve. Seeing every twitch her muscles betrayed, waiting for his moment to strike.
"Give it to me, now." Low, dangerous and terrifying, his voice told her she did not have long until he unleashed his retribution on her.
"You didn't even bother to attempt to have a civil conversation with me, and felt entitled to offload your anger at some perceived offense that I was not even allowed to clarify," she went on, her stuttering so bad, she was amazed he even understood her.
"After our last conversation I hardly think it requires any stretch of the imagination—"
"Except you accused me that time too! You never bother to ask me how I feel, instead you just opt for berating me and making me feel bad for being my age!"
"Because lately you are out of control, Potter!" he seethed, eyes flashing to his wand again.
"Yeah I am!" Penny bellowed, her hand shaking so wildly now she was surprised she could even keep a grip on it. "Did it ever occur to you to consider that it might have something to do with the mark etched into my chest; having a dead godfather and boyfriend; or you know, being treated like some science experiment whenever the ministry feels like it? Sometimes it feels nice to be an impulsive idiot who isn't carrying the weight of all this bullshit!"
"And did it ever occur to you that despite knowing I will always incur the cost of being the bad guy, I do these things for your benefit—to spare you—do you imagine that I enjoy these discussions, that I would not prefer having the kind of unfettered worship you have always bestowed upon the half-breed?" he raged, his own hands curled into fists and shaking at his sides.
"What does Remus have to do with any of this?" Penny said in exasperation. "Why can you never just own up to your misdeeds and make even the slightest effort to learn from them!"
"You have always compared me to him! Deemed me a lesser man because I do not indulge these self-destructive parts of you!"
"Don't pretend like this comes from caring about me—" she started, Snape bridging the distance between them in two furious strides, pushing her wand hand away from him and to the side.
She was pressed up against the wall again, his left hand pinning her right arm against the wall so she could not hit him with a spell, and his right grabbing her chin and cheek. His grip shook, was almost uncomfortably tight, his dark eyes blazing so brightly they almost burned her.
"Even if I had but a fraction of the love I have for you, I could not compel myself to be like him; not even to experience a glimpse of the adoration you so readily grant him. All that I do is so it can be yours—the choice—truly yours! Not because that mark I placed on your chest makes you think you aren't good enough; not because you think you are alone; and sure as hell not because of what that toescum did to you! I will abide anything, so long as it is your own choosing!"
His words knocked the breath from her lungs. His own breath, hot on her face as his chest heaved, fingernails leaving tiny indents in her face. But she was too caught up in the waves of energy pouring off of him to notice the pain of it. Conviction, indignation, fury and unbridled desire all crashing together into an incoherent mess of intensity, making it hard for her brain to get itself out from under the barrage.
Eventually, she managed, having no idea how much time elapsed with the pair of them staring at the other, their warring emotions sending sparks through the room when they collided with the other.
"That's all well and nice, but you'll never know if it's of my choosing or not unless you get into the habit of asking me instead of just deciding I'm wrong. So as eloquent as that speech was, there are a few things you might want to try working on first," Penny said, jaw set, and her free left hand shoving his from her face,
He staggered backwards slightly, looking stricken, allowing Penny to rip her other arm free and step forward, shoving his wand into his chest. She held it there, green eyes holding black, waiting for him to take it, but he didn't so much as blink, so she let it clatter from the floor, and pushed past him.
"What have I done to warrant being the object of your ire!" he finally blurted out in the voice of a much different man—a broken man.
"Ire!" Penny all but yelled, turning back on him. "Are you so deluded that you still refuse to see this for what it is? It has never been ire—only devotion!"
"Devotion?" he said with an unconvinced sneer. "You would dress it up with such a word as though after being on the receiving end of it all these years I have not learned to name it?"
"Yes, you bloody tool! It is truly astounding that such an accomplished legilimens can be so utterly ignorant of the most steadfast truth of my life."
He stared at her, jaw muscles tightening until he finally released them. "And what truth would that be, if I may ask," he said stiffly.
"That I have never loved anything like I love you! Despite all of your harshness; attempts to push me away; cruelty; why you took that mark on your arm; and all the dark truths that linger in your heart—none of it has mattered to me, because they are all a part of you! Maybe it's insanity, all things considered, but I cannot stop and I don't want to, and sometimes I hate you for it—for not seeing that the thing I have always needed most from you is to accept me in the same unconditional way I do you!"
The yelling had subsided, Penny's words barely audible by the time she got to the end of the truths she'd never put to words before. But she was not ashamed, she could not remain silent any longer, could not endure another insinuation that she did not love him enough; not when it felt as though loving him was all she was.
He was searching her, looking for some lie in the green eyes that did not shy away, and when he did not find it, his whole body slackened, brows furrowing and mouth opening and closing several times because he did not know how to respond despite the fact Penny so desperately needed to hear the words he did not yet know how to speak.
So she turned and left him there standing alone, refusing to force her bruised heart endure another moment of him looking at her as though she had not been standing beside him this whole time—like he was not sure of himself or her anymore.
The path to Hagrid's was slick with mud, Penny fuming when she slipped several times, coating herself in the stuff. Not bothering to clean herself off because she would likely end up much dirtier after class with Hagrid, Penny waited outside his hut, her professor nowhere to be seen.
Doing her best not to let her mind wander, lest it settle on Snape and make her annoyed all over again as she mulled over their exchange and his inability to even attempt to acknowledge Penny's admission, she surveyed the grounds, eyes landing on some movement near the edge of the forest. Recognizing the small crocheted Christmas sweater as the one she'd made for Fleamont, Penny realized he was sitting at the edge of the forest, but was not there alone
On either side of him sat two other sphynxes, a sight that both amazed and perplexed Penny. She was not aware of there being any other sphynxes, in fact she was sure not a single other student owned one, so where had these two come from? And better yet, what were they doing with Fleamont?
After several minutes of sitting together, the other two shook their heads, got gracefully to their feet and then disappeared in that mysterious way Fleamont always did.
"Sorry for makin yeh wait, Penny. Was checkin' on Grawp."
"No worries," Penny said, not quite paying attention as she watched Fleamont prance toward them. "Hagrid, is it normal for sphynxes to hang out with other sphynxes?"
"'Course. Social animals, ain't they? Before wizards, lived in clans, I believe. But why do yeh ask?"
"Have you noticed other sphynxes at Hogwarts before?"
"Now that yeh mention it, been quite a few o' them around here lately. Never seen 'em before Fleamont though."
The cat appeared on Hagrid's shoulder sniffing around his pockets in search of the treats he knew Hagrid kept hidden in them.
"Did they come for him?" Penny wondered out loud, watching Hagrid scold the cat for his impatience, first making him do several tricks before he gave him the strip of steak Fleamont so desired.
"Myst'ry ter me. Never had the chance ter study them much. But if yer interested, I could write to an old friend of mine an see if he won' come by, for a special lesson if yeh will,'' Hagrid offered, puffing his chest up and making Penny smile
"Really? I'd like that very much!"
"Settled then," he said, smacking her on the back and leading her around the edge of the cabin where they would be spending their class.
After Fleamont followed Penny into that veil and guided her through the labyrinth to Sirius and Regulus, she'd become suspicious that there was more to the cat's abilities than met the eye, and half wondered if he was the one to thank for her making it back out of that veil alive, unlike every person before her. Though she did not for a second believe that Hagrid's friend could confirm such a thing, she was hopeful she would be able to glean some new insight about her adorable and trouble making friend.
Spending time with Hermione, while having its desired effect on Ron, was becoming increasingly more difficult for Penny, who found herself enjoying the little arrangement more than she should.
"No, Penny, that's the wrong incantation," she said, peering over her essay and touching the place she was referring, skimming Penny's hand as she did so and sending her heart pounding expectantly in her chest.
When they sat close to each other in the common room and staged a kiss in the halls, Penny could not stop herself from wishing it were not fake. Things were just easy in Hermione's presence, something Penny realized she'd always taken for granted. With Hermione she did not need to explain things about her situation, and especially not about her brother because Hermione already got it, and was unusually empathetic and caring. When she was with Penny and like in anything else she did, Hermione gave her full attention; was able to keep up intelligent conversations and kissed too well, making the entire thing a waking nightmare.
How could she, Penny Potter, be falling for Hermione Granger, her brother's best friend, who was incidentally in love with his other best friend? It was an ugly cry waiting to happen that Penny could not pull herself away from. She enjoyed their secret entirely too much and found an odd sort of relief in it. Perhaps because she knew she never had to fear Hermione taking off her shirt because it was all an act. Regardless, the entire experience made Penny realize how much she missed this kind of closeness with someone else.
Perhaps if she ended things with Hermione she could try taking Draco up on his offer about the Slytherin quidditch captain. Mercifully, Penny was saved from figuring out how to have this conversation with Hermione when, on his birthday, Ron ended up being poisoned while in Slughorn's office, and if it were not for Harry's quick thinking, would have likely died.
The experience had the wonderful effect of mending things between Ron and Hermione (by straining them between Ron and Lavender,) and the less good effect of increasing tension between Harry and Penny over Draco's involvement.
Penny could hardly disagree about the serious nature of the incident and did not want to imagine the outcome, had Harry not been smart enough to shove a bezoar down Ron's throat, but at the same time, she could not so adamantly cast Draco as evil for such a deed, especially without being positive of his involvement. It did however, make her begin to wonder how dire the situation was—would the Dark Lord kill Draco? It was a thought that left Penny too quiet on the subject for Harry's liking, so they remained at odds, Harry happy to preoccupy himself with quidditch seeing as he now had to find a replacement for Ron.
Penny on the other hand opted for blaming Snape, with whom she had yet to speak to since their most recent argument. Why wasn't he trying harder to prevent things like this from happening? And how could he have let things get this far with Draco, wasn't Lucius supposed to be one of Snape's long time friends?
By the time the match came around, Penny was in a particularly foul mood so she found a spot near the bottom of the field to sit by herself and fume while secretly hoping Harry lost so he could fume too. But the blonde-haired boy in question showed up, a certain Slytherin captain in tow beside him.
"Penny," Draco said, in a much too silky voice, tossing his arm around her shoulder so he could kiss her cheek, Urquhart taking up residence on her other side. "You know Sebastian don't you?"
"Can't say I've had the pleasure," Penny said, turning to the good looking boy with his bleached hair, dark eyebrows and high cheekbones. He held none of the haughtiness one normally associated with Slytherin's but rather smiled casually back at Penny as though he did in fact believe it a pleasure to finally make her acquaintance.
"Why didn't your brother put you on the team? You fly better than all of them," he said, rather bluntly, nodding toward the scarlet robes now lifting off from the pitch.
"Because I wouldn't let him," Penny replied, finding her irritating ebbing away as she observed the curious boy before her.
Admittedly, she'd never heard him speak before, and found his low baritone voice quite appealing, if not soothing.
"I've told you, Sebastian, she's a Slytherin through-and-through, always looking out for the green, our Penny."
"Don't listen to him, he doesn't exist in reality like the rest of us," Penny said to Sebastian after scowling at Draco.
"That's a Malfoy for you," Sebastian replied, glancing sideways at her. "That McLaggen though," he added, looking back up again.
Penny turned to find McLaggen nowhere near his goal post, but berating Ginny, allowing the Hufflepuff chaser to score.
"For the love of god," Penny said, shaking her head as she watched Harry zoom over to yell at the idiot.
"Might be an interesting game after all," Sebastian said with a crooked smile.
"For you, maybe. But I gotta listen to Harry rant about this after being forced to witness it," she sighed.
"Well if you need to disguise yourself for a while to get out of it I've gotten pretty good at transfiguring mustaches."
"I'd take you up on that, but I'm not sure I'd look good with a mustache," Penny said, pretending to stroke an invisible one.
"Oh I dunno, I reckon you could pull it off."
"What makes you think that," Penny laughed in disbelief.
He turned and considered her for a moment, the deep set eyes contemplative, as though wanting to be certain of his answer. "Well, you're obviously pretty enough to make anything look good, but really it's the way you've never cared about what anyone else thinks. You just do whatever you're gonna do."
They studied each other for a long moment, Penny the first to look away, finding herself a little taken aback by his response. "Well, Draco might disagree with you on that one, he's spent a very long time ensuring what he thinks is law," Penny replied, turning to her blonde friend and finding his seat empty. "Where'd he go?" she said, looking around, confused.
"He's not very subtle, that one," Sebastian said with a small shake of his head.
"Force you into this, did he?" Penny replied, a bite to her tone as she turned back to him.
"Nah, I was intrigued enough to see the famous fiancé of Snape up close," he said, Penny noting a playful edge to his own tone.
"If he sees us together, you're as good as dead," Penny said, half sarcastically and half in warning.
"I'll take my chances." Sebastian shrugged.
"Really though, why'd you come?" Penny's tone was serious, eyes turned toward the sky but seeing none of the game before her.
"Honestly?"
"Honestly."
"I get tired of it sometimes—the whole Slytherin thing, keeping up appearances. A change of pace sounded nice."
"I know what you mean," Penny mused, glancing sideways at him. "So what do you think the odds are of us winning?"
"Well, judging by the fact this is the third time your brother is flying over to tell McLaggen to get back to his post, not good."
Turning back to the game, Penny watched a very irate Harry zoom towards McLaggen who had a beaters bat and was apparently showing one the of the beaters how to swing. However, he did not seem to hear Harry shouting, and as Harry neared, he smashed Harry in the head with the bat.
Penny's shriek escaped her mouth and she was on her feet before Harry fell sideways, evidently knocked out. She did not know what she intended to do, catch him? But she'd jumped the barrier and was on the pitch screaming when Harry's body began to fall as though in slow motion. If he hit the ground from that height, surely he would break every bone on his body, but how was she going to slow his progress? Her brain did not know, and she did not know how to make it think faster.
Like two guardian angels, both beaters raced toward Harry and caught him, slowly lowering him to the ground where Penny waited, a frantic mess.
His eyes were closed, glasses broken and nose bleeding but he was breathing. In moments Madam Hooch was upon them, the rest of the teams landing as well.
"Give him space!" barked Madam Hooch, pushing Penny out of the way to get a better look at him.
Ears picking up the loathsome tones of the idiot who'd hit him, Penny heard him say "If he hadn't interfered—now he might lose us the game."
Turning in fury, Penny snatched the bat hanging loosely from Peakes' hand and marched toward McLaggen, who remained woefully unaware of her approach.
When she was almost in striking distance, too incensed by fury to see reason, she lifted the bat above her head fully intending to bash the twat over the head with it, but was stopped by an intervening, annoyingly muscular arm that held the bat in place.
Trying to prevail against it, Penny yelled out in fury, finally getting McLaggen's attention, leaping backward when he took in the scene before him. "What the bloody hell, Potter!"
"It's not worth it, Penny. You don't really want a month's worth of detention for that sop," Sebastian said leaning in to whisper in her ear, still hanging tight to bat.
"Oh, I don't know, if I can crack his skull it might be worth it," Penny fumed, struggling against his hold.
"Bash it in when there aren't so many teachers watching."
"Get away from me, Potter! Get, get!" McLaggen said, looking satisfyingly wary of her as he moved behind Ginny.
"C'mon, they're taking your brother up, don't you want to go with him?" Sebastian tried again when she didn't respond, Penny finally turning to look back at him.
Those deep eyes of his seemed to bring her back to her senses and she was able to shake off enough of her anger to will herself into forgoing violence.
"Alright, fine," she said, letting go of the bat. "But you have to find me another opportunity to make him pay for this."
"If you insist," he said, amusement playing at the corners of his mouth as he tossed the bat to the ground and gave her a small nod before tucking his hands into his pockets and jogged back across the pitch, scaling the scaffolding with ease.
"What happened!" gaped Ron, when Harry was placed on the bed beside him.
"McLaggen," was all Penny could mutter in response as she sat herself beside her unconscious brother and listened to Luna Lovegood commentate the rest of what would be Gryffindor's worst game ever, all thanks to fucking Cormac McLaggen; Penny closing her eyes and imagining all the ways with which she could abuse him with that bat and being lulled into a stupor until Harry woke up and Penny let Ron break the news to him they'd lost.
Though Penny felt like the day wasn't a total bust, Sebastian proving himself to at least be an intriguing character worth further investigation.
I have always loved Hermione, how could Penny not have a massive crush on her? lol. I don't blame her, sigh, why she ever chose Ron, I will never know!br /
I had a really good chat with one of my readers and they made some great points about Penny and her associations with Death Eaters and Snape kind of making it easier for Penny to overlook some things, or view things in a distorted/ different view than Harry might, not having those close relationships. I just don't think things are as straight forward for her as Harry and she often ends up in that grey zone, but I do think there will come a time where she faces questions within herself about what she stands for and where the line is.
Also...LUPIN'S DEATH IS THE WORST EVER AND I UPSET MYSELF WRITING THAT FIRST HALF. 😭 My beautiful man deserved so much. Were I not writing a Snape fic this would be a Remus/ Penny 😭
anyway, have a great week!