The lone figure in the apartment cuts the blackness of the night. The thought that things that were disgraceful were only done in the cover of the night constantly played on his mind. Yet there was a smile when there should have been blushing, a steadiness when there should have been faltering.
Subaru knew what he wanted. And waited, his body shrouded in darkness.
--
Seishirou walked into his apartment, his thoughts weighed down by Subaru. Subaru was dominating his thoughts far more than he would have liked nor cared to admit. Subaru had started out so innocent, naïve, and just plain fun to chase. It wasn't in the plan for Subaru to make Seishirou feel… As a result, he barely registered the other presence in the room before Subaru swept upon him and pinned him to the wall.
Seishirou did not bother to fight, he even relaxed slightly. Before, the relaxation would have given Subaru reason to pause, to wonder if that was what the predator did before attacking his prey. This time, Subaru's mind had left him and his only thought was to attack Seishirou at his lips.
Seishirou pulled back after receiving what he viewed as a "very nice rather aggressive kiss". Before Subaru could grab him again, Seishirou spoke.
"You're not thinking straight, little man."
"I'm not a little man, and I'm thinking darn straight!"
"If you're kissing a man, I doubt you'll be thinking straight" Seishirou placed a pun on his words before pushing Subaru away.
Subaru made a noise that sounded strangled.
"I know what I'm doing. I know what I want." Subaru leaned in again, applying pressure onto Seishirou's shoulders. His hands slid down to Seishirou's chest, tracing patterns. His breath tickled Seishirou's ears and his mouth did interesting things to Seishirou's insides. After worrying Seishirou's ear, he started on the mouth which refused to yield to him.
"You're not making this easy, Seishirou!" Subaru moaned, wondering if Seishirou really had a heart of stone not to be tempted when he was all but presenting himself to him when Seishirou's lips remained close.
"How can I when you're spoiling all the fun of a chase?" Seishirou disentangled himself from Subaru's embrace and started to walk away. Yet the swagger in his steps could not present itself, Subaru HAD affected Seishirou, even if the older man refused to admit it.
"Fun of a chase? I'll show you fun of taking what's offered!" Subaru threw himself on Seishirou, knocking them both onto the floor. The two men struggled and Seishirou being bigger and stronger won, cuffing both of Subaru's hands together. They stared at each other and Subaru looked away first. His cheeks were blushing. No doubt his mind had started to work and he was horrified at his aggressive actions. He tried to back away, but could not as Seishirou's hands were still clutching his. He could only turn his head away in shame. The moonlight caught his expression of shame perfectly.
Seishirou smiled. Things were back to being as they were. Yet his smile faltered when the moonlight caught both Subaru's expression and his tears which glittered in the dark.
"I'm sorry…" Subaru whispered, tears falling. He had no idea what possessed him to push Seishirou, let alone coming to the apartment where Seishirou's actions all but indicated he was far from welcomed. He felt numb, as if floating in a dream like state between being conscious and not. His tears felt like nothing and yet at the same time something. The only word he could say was 'sorry' yet deep down he faintly wondered if that was what he truly meant.
Seishirou gave in and hugged the younger man closer to him. His heartstrings tugged and there was nothing he could do but pull Subaru closer, all the while dropping light kisses on the hair. Subaru looked up and Seishirou gave him a soft sweet kiss which melted both of them. Was all forgiven by that kiss?
Seemingly so, because Seishirou deepened it. The heat that suddenly sprang up between them warmed them both and Seishirou's tongue traced Subaru's teeth and entered. Subaru surrended and his body moulded against Seishirou's. The hands that touched had actions that were soft. Sweet. Hands went around the waist. Dewy touches on the thighs. Subaru waited for Seishirou to take. And he somehow didn't care. As long as he was with Seishirou, nothing else mattered. He knew the possibility of Seishirou loving him and leaving him was very real but all he wanted was Seishirou. Love would never be a true factor in the equation. He Loved. But did Seishirou? It was better to take what was offered without in depth analysis, better to be grateful for the touches than to be without them.
Subaru waited. And waited. The soft kisses continued. Subaru kept waiting for Seishirou to move lower but there was nothing. At Subaru's confused look, Seishirou merely drew the two of the closer in the embrace. Could it be that Seishirou wanted more than the physical? The emotional aspect had always been Subaru's but lately the interaction between the pair suggested that perhaps Seishirou was going in the direction of the emotional, albeit slower than Subaru.
The sweet tender moment was shattered when Seishirou's arms tightened around Subaru's suddenly. His hands became bruising and his kisses were hard and rough. Subaru was stunned at the about face of Seishirou's actions but kept quiet, allowing Seishirou to continue. The hands left marks on Subaru's pale skin that moved with the light as Subaru's breathing heavied.
And then it stopped. Subaru found himself on the floor. It was so abrupt, the change of Seishirou's style, and then the sudden loneliness that penetrated Subaru's heart when all was taken away.
Subaru watched Seishirou's back. Neither spoke.
And then.
"Go."
Seishirou's hands were fisted and he pointed to the door without looking at Subaru.
"Why?"
Seishirou looked back, his eyes dark and fathomless.
"You don't know what you want. Not at all."
Something in Subaru's mind clicked. The change of styles? Was that an attempt by Seishirou to see if Subaru was the same old person who knew not what he wanted? Seishirou was a master at playing mind games. Subaru's world crashed at his feet and he stumbled up and left, unable to linger and dwell on the previous moments.
Seishirou looked down again when Subaru left.
"You at least know what you want more than me."
And it was clear at this moment that the score, if anyone was still keeping track, was 3-2 in Subaru's favour because Seishirou had felt… something. He had been affected more than he realized and was at a loss at trying to deal with it.
-tbc
A/N: Sorry for the late update. It's really late. Hee. I hope there will still be people reading and reviewing this. Iloveyouall. )