Not To Be Mine
By: Takara R. M.
Summary: Ginny needs to catch up in her diary…. Harry comes in for a visit. HPDM One-Shot
Author's Note: I do not like Ginny very much… BUT, I was very nice to her character in this ficcie!
Disclaimer: Ok! I am really disliking the person who thought of these… No. I do not own JKR's beautiful characters.
Genres: Romance (barely, um… not really),
Rating: innocent. There really is not anything bad in here.
WARNINGS: OOC-ness (I think there is a little bit in here….), Dangerous Muse, Slowly click away.. wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
There he is again, staring at the other one. Why couldn't those eyes look upon me like that? Why couldn't I be the one to be graced with his rare smile, rather than be a spectator? Why?
My heart aches as I watch him smile – it used to stop entirely before I realized I was not its intended target. Ever since last year his smile disappeared. I thought it was because of Dumbledore's death… I was wrong.
He said he wouldn't ever come back here, Hogwarts. He said he would leave to train, to fight, to win. I promised to stay by his side faithfully, lovingly. I thought we would be together, forever.
I seems, however, forever is not long at all.
When I first was suspicious, I felt slightly betrayed. When I saw them together, I was shattered. When I look at them now, I am determined.
To him, I am a little sister. To me, you ask? He is my life. Everything I do – every action, every choice – is for him. Seeing him happy is my reason to exist.
Unselfish? You think me unselfish? No. In actuality, I am very selfish.
I want him to gaze at me with that look, with those pretty green eyes. I want to be held protectively within his warm, strong embrace. I want his lips against mine and I want to be with him forever.
Above all else, I want him to be happy.
Yes, yes, yes. I know that last bits sounds unselfish as if I would gladly sacrifice all my wants, my desires, for his happiness, but I want him to be happy with me and not have to give up those wants and desires. I want to be the source of his happiness and no one else. I want to be the one to make him laugh; to see him glow with mirth. I want my mere presence to cheer him. I want him to want me.
See? I am selfish.
Do I still want it? Yes, more than anything. Will I do something about it? No, not likely. You see, I have this … code. I refuse to break up two wonderful people who are so prefect for each other for my own selfish reasons.
Especially if they are soul mates.
Yes, they are. How do I know? I saw them perform the ritual.
What do I remember?
I remember salty tears, stabbing pain, and my sobbing heart, all at his betrayal. I remember watching as they circled each other in perfect, precise steps. Their chant filling my ears with their hope and plea to know the truth. Each tear of happiness was a brutal dagger in my heart, my soul. I knew then.
Long pause.
What? What was that? Oh. What did I know?
I know I would never hold his heart. I knew I had no place in his life, his destiny. I know that my place was never going to be in his arms and his soul - his being - will never be mine to know intimately. As they took each step, before the ritual was even complete, I began to understand. I saw all the reasons their relationship was imperfect compared to one with me. But no matter, their imperfections made their union more whole, more pure, and truer than the one he would have with me.
Too deep for you? I know. One look at me and everyone subconsciously pegs me as a much shallower person.
Sigh.
I may seem completely intolerable to you, but believe me… it's mutual.
What am I going to do?
I am going to sit back, watch, and face fate with whatever destiny throws my way. I am going to …
"Hey Ginny!"
A bushy redhead popped up and Ginny gave Harry a happy look.
"Hey Harry."
"What are you doing up this late?"
Ginny turned back to the book in her hands. "Just writing in my journal. I have neglected it for so long that I seem to have written a novel just trying to catch up," she giggled softly. With a sigh she continued on. "I find it calming to write my life down."
Harry nodded. "Yes, I have also started my own journal. It's a nice way to review my thoughts without others telling me what I was thinking."
Ginny gave a soft laugh. "Yes. I am sure the Boy-Who-Lived-To-Defeat-The-Dark-Lord has much on his mind."
Harry cringed at the name she gave him. "Ah yes, Harry Bloody Potter the Hero." With a whoosh, he turned and strode to the window. "Do you notice how the night has a way of stripping everything down to its bare essence?" Ginny remained silent. "The darkness leaves no room for facades."
Silence ensued for a few moments before the scratching of a quill cut through the air. Harry pressed his head against the glass plane of the window, cutting off the sounds of the quill with his words.
"A soul must rest;
A journey must end;
A follower must lead;
A leader must fall."
Dark emerald eyes bore deep into soft brown. Ginny's hand froze in mid word.
"Walk along your path.
Make your own choices.
Let Fate and Destiny hear
Your voice in song."
Ginny swore her heart was going to beat its way out of her chest.
"I am but a humble man
Standing at the foot of paradise.
I am not the one you seek.
I am but a happy man."
Ginny absently closed her dairy, all of her attention captivated by the young man before her.
"So, bare on me no woes;
Leave me not with your regrets;
Give me not your burdens of duty,
Nor emotions unwanted."
Harry made his way swiftly out the door leaving a dazed Ginny behind. Once over the initial astonishment, the young girl opened her book to find Harry's words written upon the pages.
With a small smile, Ginny closed her book silently and made her way to her room.
She would remain close to Harry, but as a friend, not a lover. She would stand by his decisions as any sister would for a brother. Most importantly, she would show her support by physically leaving his side and walking down her own path, wherever it might lead her. She had her own way, her own life, her own love to discover.
Finio.
:giggles: I really need to get these one-shots out…. I have too MANY! AHHHH! ATTACK of the one-shots! RUN!
:breathes: Ok. I think we are safe now. :looks around: yup! They are gone!
Now. I do not remember if I mentioned it in the story… but this is a HPDM pairing…. Takes place after HBP…. And they did not close the school down.
PLEASE REVIEW!
If you read this story then you SHOULD be leaving a review! It could be only one word! I want reviews:smiles: Sooooo... REVIEW:D