Tickle Me Flame, Iroh Doll
This doll had three different forms, one as a military and political hero, who nearly had taken the capital of the enemy, then as the elderly man as he was, and finally as the outlaw who was fleeing justice along with the prince. This doll mainly captured the attention of the elderly women, who still saw the elderly prince as the hunk he had been when he was in his twenties.
"So handsome," one of them crooned, admiring the doll. "You know I saw him once in a parade, when I was just a teenager."
"Well that's nothing," another woman said. "I used to date him when we were younger."
"You are such a liar," another woman snarled, "you never dated him!"
"We both went to the royal academy," the old noble woman growled, "So yes I most assuredly did date him."
"You old fart, you only went to the junior prom with him, one night … one date! That didn't make you boyfriend and girlfriend."
"Did I say I was his girlfriend? I only said I dated him!" The older woman spread her fingers out like cat's claws to fight the other woman.
"Enough, ladies, just try to product, and see if you like it!" the spokesman begged.
One of the women tickled the doll's stomach, and it chuckled, "My goodness, that was unexpected."
Another woman tickled her doll's stomach, and Iroh chuckled and said, "You know that reminds me of an old story about two lovers and the rare, Osabi Flower of Winter, which is delicious for tea and smoked foods…," he continued to reminisce about old stories and the past.
A young girl tickled the doll, reminded of her grandfather, Mushi, and it chuckled and shook. "Such a silly little girl, remember to follow your heart."
The girl's parents, upper middle class citizens frowned and looked at the spokesman. "What is this about?" the father snapped. "What if she feels her heart is leading her away from the Fire Lord?"
"Iroh was so different than his brother, so we felt that we needed to mirror that," the spokesman said with a shrug. "Of course before leaving he endorsed the dolls, so we know he supports the nation."
"Are you sure about that? It was his fault that the Northern Water Tribe defeated us," the mother snapped.
"Madame, please," the spokesman said. The parents looked at him as if he were nuts, and walked off with their daughter.
An elderly woman tickled her doll, and he laughed and chuckled. "Oh boy, that tickles! Remember, there is nothing more important than family!"
"Just as he told me in preschool," she sighed.
"You went to preschool with him?" the spokesman sighed. "Just how many women went to school with Crown Prince General Iroh?" Dozens of hands went up. "Good grief," the poor man just sighed.
One younger woman tickled her doll on his feet, and the doll chuckled, shook, and nearly vibrated his head off. "Oh my," he began in a normal voice, then it turned lower, and deeper, "I love being tickled." The woman blushed and looked around to see if anyone else had heard the same thing that she did.
"Not something a doll should say, I think," she blushed. She tickled his feet again.
"Such a silly little girl, remember to follow your heart!" the Iroh doll said after laughing.
"But my heart is to be an artist, a thespian," the woman said.
One of the passersby blinked and looked at her, "Wait, what did you just say?" he barked.
"I want to be an artist, a thespian," she repeated with a blush.
He scoffed with a roll of his eyes and shook his head, "Like there aren't enough painters and actresses in the world already," he grumbled.
"Well the general seems to think I should do it," she barked back.
"Yes, and just a moment before that, the stupid thing hit on you!" he growled. "Besides, it's a doll, why would you follow what a toy thinks?"
"Get bent," she hissed.
"Get burnt" he shouted.
Her hand accidentally tickled the doll's stomach, and Iroh laughed, "Siblings should never fight, but always keep a common bond together."
They blinked and looked at each other. "How does that thing know we're brother and sister?" the man asked.
"Sir, I've said this all day, the dolls come with preprogrammed phrases," the spokesman said with a sigh.
"And preprogrammed recognition of the holders," the woman asked, with a cocked head. When he nodded she continued, "Do they come with preprogrammed actions?"
"Well, I can't really answer that," the spokesman said.
"Figures," the siblings sighed, and went off arguing about their lives.
An elderly woman tickled her doll under her arms, and the doll laughed and rattled back and forth, "Oh no, please," the doll cried. "Being tickled gives me gas!" and with that the doll let out a lethal dose of air that knocked half the festival goers out cold.
When he woke up, the spokesman sighed, and checked off another feature that the doll had to be remodeled against. There were complaints, and threats of lawsuits, but of course everyone remembered that the Fire Nation would throw any nay sayers in jail faster than they could breathe, so that settled that. All in all, the Iroh doll was sold by the hundreds by all the women who claimed to have gone to school with him and the young woman who bitterly argued with her brother.
And this ends this chapter! I loved doing the Iroh doll story, he's such a card and a character, such a flirt with the ladies that it was easy. Okay, only one more to go! Final to bat: Fire Lord Ozai himself! And you learn the identity of the Spokesman. Review, review, review, and let me know how you think of this story!