(disclaimer: I dont own any of these charactersm but if I did, that would be heaven.)
Three Little Words
Three little words that he had never told him. Three little words
that he had never said in his life, a life that was already too full of
sorrow.
He had wanted to say those three little words, but the last chance
he got, it did not happen.
That last time out on Brokeback, Ennis was far from saying them. He
and Jack were shooting off accusations, like they were fire works. Ennis
felt hurt and angry that Jack had gone down to Mexico, to warm himself
with another man, in his absence. Jack felt a bitterness that could
never be sated. He had wanted he and Ennis to be happy, to build their
own spread up on his daddy's ranch. To lick that dusty and barren land
into shape, but that never came to pass.
Ennis did not want the things that he wanted. It seemed like he
never did. Jack was fed up with it. So what if he went down to Mexico? A
couple of high altitude fucks once or twice a year was not the life he
had intended.
So they left each other that day feeling like nothing was ever
resolved, nothing ever fixed. Like Ennis had said 20 years back, "If you
can't fix it Jack, you gotta stand it." His words carried a truthfulness
that neither of them entirely realized.
And it hit Ennis the hardest, more than Jack would ever know. Their
days together were getting shorter and farther apart. The next time they
would see each other would be November, almost half a year away. It
pained Jack to wait so long, but it was even worst for Ennis. At least
Jack wasn't lonely. He had his wife and son down in Texas; he had shit.
No friends really, his daughters rarely came to visit, besides Jack,
Ennis truly was alone.
Now Ennis finds himself in his sparse trailer, waking up before dawn.
The wind is howling outside and he knows it's going to be a bitter cold
day. The stained coffee pot is filled with stale black brew, and Ennis
downs it, like bad medicine. He pulls on his faded Levi's and tugs on
his old woolen socks. He runs a hand through his thinning dirty blonde
hair and sighs, wondering what Jack is doing right now at this very
moment. Is he still sleeping, beside that wife of his? Or is he already
up, just like their days on the Mountain, making breakfast? Ennis
doesn't want to linger on the thought of Jack Twist, for fear of
succumbing to the insane idea he came up with the other day.
Ennis must be going crazy, he thinks, throwing feed at Stoutamire's
cattle. For some reason, he has the sudden urge to call Jack Twist up on
the pay phone. The only other time he had done that was to tell him
about the divorce. And that hadn't gone well. Jack thought it meant that
they'd go off together to Lightning Flat, Ennis could feel the happiness
bubbling all over him when he hopped out of his truck. But of course,
Ennis hadn't meant that at all.
This phone calling business didn't seem to go well at all. What if
his wife answered? What if Jack was still mad about their fight two
weeks ago? Ennis doubted he could handle another blow up like that last
one. So he put the idea out of his head, going back to his dead end job.
But that thought still lingered in the back of his skull.
It's late the next day, Ennis parks his old pickup infront of the
post office to get his mail. His brown eyes drift towards the pay phone
close by. Pulling his dusty white hat over his eyes, he walks slowly
into the office and picks up his mail. Sifting through the bills and
ads, he heads back to the truck. But something is telling him to call
Jack Twist. Ennis tries to ignore the feeling, ready to open the door.
Yet he can't shake it. Those three little words will not quit him. Ennis
growls, wanting to go about his business, but he knows that if he
doesn't give in, the idea will haunt him the rest of his sad life.
He mutters under his breath, hopes he's doing the right thing and
tosses his mail onto the seat. With long strides he walks up to the pay
phone. Quickly shutting the glass door shut behind him for fear of
losing' his nerve, Ennis shakily picks up the receiver, puts in some
coins, and dials Jack's number.
Jack is in a hurry this afternoon. He was supposed to pick up Bobby
from school an hour ago. He curses at himself for forgetting, knowin'
Lureen's gonna give him hell about it later at dinner. But God damn the
woman, working him like a dog. The new tractors came early this morning
and he had to show 'em off to prospective buyers each hour. He was
exhausted and fell asleep on the couch once he got home.
As he reaches for his old black hat from off the hook, the telephone
rings. He curses to himself and rushes over to it, hopin' it ain't the
school or Lureen.
"Twist residence."
Ennis feels his heart pound once he hears Jack's voice. He runs his
tongue over his dry lips, not sure of what to say next.
"Uh...Jack...this is uh...Ennis Del Mar..."
There is a slight pause. He can hear Jack breathing quickly.
"E-Ennis...h-how are you?"
Jack can't believe his ears. All these years and only twice has he
bothered to call. He hopes to God he ain't dreaming', that Ennis is
really on the other end of the line.
"I...I just called...to say..."
"Yeah?"
Jack grips the phone tightly. Is this it? Is he finally willing to
have a life with him? He presses his ear into the phone, hearing' Ennis'
heavy breathing.
"Jack...there's somethin' I've been meanin' to say all these
years..."
Ennis can't believe he's doin' this. He had never uttered these
words before in his entire life. Not even to his ex-wife Alma, his two
grown daughters, or his old fling Cassie. It seemed to him that, these
three little words had no meaning to him. That these three little words
were too good for a poor son of a bitch like himself.
But now he braces himself. These three little words had finally
found meaning. Ennis never wanted to admit it, but the three little
words were for Jack, his Jack fuckin' Twist.
"What is it Ennis?"
Jack is anxious all over. He ignores the sound of Lureen driving
into the driveway, the loud slam of her car door. He ignores the sound
of the front door opening and shutting.
"Ennis please...tell me alright?"
"Jack I...never told you this...but...uh...I..."
There is a slight pause. Jack's blue eyes shift towards the kitchen,
Lureen giving' Bobby a snack. She shoots him a dirty look and then
disappears into their bedroom.
Jack's heart is beating' like mad. He can't wait any longer.
"Ennis just say it please."
He looks around him nervously, feeling like people are staring' at
him in the phone booth. Ennis is about to hesitate again, but he fears
that if he doesn't tell him, he never will. He musters up any courage he
has left in his tired old body, rubbing' his brow with his rough hands.
The words slowly roll off his tongue.
"...I...l-love...y-y-ou..."
The phone line goes dead. Jack just stands there in his living room.
Tears form underneath his eyes. He gently puts down the receiver and
sits down on the couch.
All these years. All these long years, Jack is beyond words. Ennis
had spoken those three little words once, but that was enough for Jack.
Taking off his hat, he runs his fingers over the texture, tears
running' down his cheeks.
Ennis loves him. That's all that matters.
The End.