Taichiti's Day : Series 2
"Aggghh!" Yawned Taichiti. "What time is it?" he continued as he looked at his clock.
"Hmmm… 9:00am….WHAT? F I'm late—again!" shouted Taichiti.
Once again, Takusho has to tell his bro that he woke up too early or something'
"Dude, it's Saturday. We have no school on Saturdays…" said Takusho.
"Crap man! I'm really messed up." Taichiti annoyingly said.
Taichiti went to the washroom as he brushed his teeth, took a bath and changed his clothes.
3 hours later
That's stupid… Taichiti spends 3 hours using the washroom… Heck, he might of even used the time probably doing a number 2.
Well after he was done, he decided to go to the park. As he walked passed the park fence,
He saw a dog doing a number 2 as well. Just in case u don't know, number 2 means poo.
As he stared at the dog, the dog stared back and growled. Taichiti noticed the shape of the poo. It looked like a big piece of… well… poo!
Whatever
Taichiti continued down as an old hobo grabbed his ankles.
"Please sir, spare some money, I'll take anything!" the hobo cried.
"Ok, hold on… I'll be right back!" Taichiti replied.
As the hobo nodded, Taichiti ran back to the dog, when he noticed it was gone. Taichiti picked up a used plastic bag and grabbed the big pile of poo that was left behind.
He went back to the old hobo and gave it.
"Food, thank you sir!" said the hobo happily.
Taichiti watched as the hobo as he ripped the poo piece by piece swallowing each bump, gulping loudly. Not wasting any bit of slaughter. Grossed out, Taichiti left.
"There you are, old chap!" DK called out, "You're late for the baseball game!"
"Oh, f I forgot we have baseball games on Fridays!" replied Taichiti.
Taichiti ran as fast as he could to the baseball diamond which was located—at the park…
As Taichiti rushed there he saw the same dog before, only this time peeing. As that caught his attention, Taichiti tripped over a big rock, and landed… on another pile of poo the dog left behind. (Disgusting --)
DK came over when he slipped on another one of the dog's poo.
(Crap! That dog can really crap!) As DK did that, he fell and pushed Taichiti back to the pile of poo he landed on earlier, just when he just got back up.
Taichiti pushed DK so he could stand up—again! He wiped his face all over DK's shirt and ran to the baseball field.
"Taichiti your fking late! Where the F have you been! Quickly change to your outfit and get on the field your up next after Lardo!" shouted Taichiti's coach,
(Real name of coach is Scheiwizcheimerkheimien, he's from Scotland. No wonder they only call him coach)
"Ok Lardo you can do it!" Couch screamed.
So, as the thrower or whatever threw, Lardo quickly swung when he hit the ball to third base. He jiggled his way—I mean, ran his way to first. The ball person
(I don't know who) tried chasing Lardo, but Lardo's superior fatness bumped each and every person in his way, making him go for a home run.
"Good job!" grinned Coach, "Taichiti you're up next!"
Taichiti went and grabbed a bat and got ready for the pitch. The ball person
(F man I don't remember what they call it) threw the ball, Taichiti got a good swing, missed, the bat accidentally slipped and hit one of his teammates, Wiener, out cold.
STRIKE 1
Taichiti got ready for the next one. They threw, he swung and… There it is! The ball flew all the way out of the field and onto the park. I think that it had hit the old hobo. LOL.
Now that was a homerun.
BATTER UP!
DK's turn. So far they were losing one to nothing. Oh wait, Lardo AND Taichiti scored, so that would make, (let me get my calculator) 1 + 1 – 1 x 2 – 1 + 1 resulting 2!
So that would be 2 to um… 3.
Anyways, it's DK's turn. They threw the ball, and just as DK was about to hit that ball, he missed and the ball hit his—
"DICK! Are you alright!" shouted the Coach in fear.
"Y…y…y-y…es-s-s…"moaned DK.
DK stood back up and got ready for his second swing.
(Isn't he supposed to run if he got hit?) Whatever…
So DK got ready for his pitch, when suddenly his um… Dk started to get itchy from that last hit. So as DK ducked to scratch it, he looked up and—BAM!
What a knock out. K.O.
"DK what happened!" Coach asked.
"I'm not sure, my D started to itch so I ducked to scratch and when I looked up…everything became black!" he said weakly.
He came back up for his next pitch…
It was his 2nd strike.
Once again, the thrower, whatever the f he is, throws the ball and once again DK swung, but missed, and hit his fore head.
"Do you have brain damage!" asked the Coach surprisingly.
"Do you have a brain!" asked Taichiti surprisingly.
They game was over…
They lost 2-3
Everyone left, leaving DK on the ground unconscious. WHAT AN IDIOT!
Taichiti left for home, knowing that it was already…
9:00 pm
"Taichiti, dinner's ready!" called mom (can't tell her name)
"Sorry mom, I can't! Got to do uh… homework!" replied Taichiti.
"Get down here right now mother fker! Oh sorry! Father fker!" shouted mom
"OK, OK!" said Taichiti as he went downstairs.
(By the way, in the beginning, when Taichiti got home, he went upstairs, to watch Naruto)
Naruto is on at 9:15—here…
As Taichiti went downstairs, he went to the bathroom to wash his hands. When there! He saw the toilet seat opened and barfed with great big molds of poo! O.O
(This was a sign) he thought. The sign for giving the old hobo USED poo! I mean new—u know what the f I mean. It was either that, or just that his brother ate too many beans.
Whatever…
He went out of the washroom and got ready to eat.
"Ok, here you go Taichiti!" mom smiled as she handed a plate to Taichiti.
As his mom gave the plate, Taichiti thought of the food as poo! It flashed and turned to poo! In his mind. (Please tell me if you would like me to change the word to dung)
Any who, F I'm turning into DK 'get on with the story' sorry…
The thought of the food to poo suddenly disappeared. As he gulped the food down his mouth, there grew great fear. It was hard for him to swallow…
Flash back
"Food, thank you sir!" said the hobo happily.
The hobo ripped the poo piece by piece swallowing each bump, gulping loudly. Not wasting any bit of slaughter.
Un-flash back –or whatever
Taichiti shook the memory off his head and drank chocolate milk.
Chocolate
Poo is color chocolate…
As he gulped the milk, he immediately went to the sink and barfed it all out, gushing sap of chocolate milk and chunks of brown stuff that seemed to be in his dish.
"Are you alright honey?" asked mom.
"Are you talking to that jar or me?" Taichiti weakly said.
"Shut down—or was it shut up?" said she as she walked up the stairs not caring for Taichiti anymore…
Taichiti went to the couch and sat in despair. When all of a sudden his stomach started ripping it's own guts, what I mean is, his stomach started hurting. REAL BADLY…
He went to the washroom to take a number 2
Closed the door
Pulled his pants down
And started…
(Warning: May contain series of suggestive language, for this is the poo scene, may also contain aggressive shouting, for this is the poo scene, and lastly, may contain very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very loud farting, because this is the poo scene)
"AGGGHH! F ERRGGHH! MOTHER FKER OH SHT I'M SHTING!"
Taichiti obnoxiously said as he gushed out very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very loud, big farts sounding as loud as a gorilla scream.
"OHHHH! AGGHHH!" screamed Taichiti, "Ohhh, ok, I think it's over—AGGHHH! ST! OHHH! ERRGHH! Ohhh" said Taichiti as he calmed down. (Prrrt) little fart…
After he thought what was over, just begun…
PRRRTTT! GSSSHH! POOOIINGG! BLAAHHHH! BLAHHHH! GSSHHHH!
"OHHH! WHEN WILL T-T-THIS FKING THING B-B-BBE OVER!" shouted Taichiti.
Ok, now I'M getting grossed out. Sorry guys, err… and girls, I have to ends this, I'm felling really sick.
5 hours later
5 hours later, he—5 HOURS LATER! CRAP! That must've been a really long battle.
He finally stopped and got out of the toilet seat. He then opened the door, as thick green fog escaped out of the washroom—I bet you can NEVER guess what that is…
He took his time going upstairs. To his room (hopefully not his brother's) It took long because of the hard, stiff, aching pain right under his A. He couldn't change his clothes, because of that experience. He carefully laid, down on his bed and slept.
For now the day is over, but that doesn't mean his fear has ended.
So, hopefully the next day would be a good one.
'Prrrt!' Now who the Fk did that? Taichiti…
The baseball field
"Owww… My head hurts… where am I? Why do I have a pain feeling at the tip of my"
"DICK! There you are… we were looking all over for you. Why the #! Did you stay here?" asked Wiener as he picked his boogers
"C'mon I'll walk you home…" Wiener said as he picked up DK and walked him home.