"Radar, is that you?" I clutched the receiver tightly to my ear.
"Major Houlihan?" He asked. I sighed with relief.
"Yes, Radar. Um…I need to speak with Captain Pierce." There was silence on the other line. "Corporal did you hear me?" I asked rather sternly.
"Uh yes ma'm, it's just that…"
"Margaret?" It was Colonel Potter.
"Hello Colonel." I sighed was I ever going to be able to speak with Hawkeye?
"How are you?" He asked sincerely.
"I'm fine. Colonel is Hawkeye around?" I asked before he had a chance to continue.
"Well uh, Margaret…Pierce is uh…Hawkeye's in surgery. We've got wounded up to our ears." He was speaking rather hurriedly. I wondered if he even believed what he just said.
"Oh, well thank you Colonel." I said disappointedly.
"I'm sorry you can't speak with him right now but…"
"That's all right Colonel. Goodbye." I hung up quickly and began rubbing my temples.
"What's wrong Major?" Asked Kellye, who was still standing beside me. I only shook my head. I was suspicious. If Hawkeye was in surgery then why had Colonel Potter been able to talk to me? Why wasn't he in surgery too? I walked out of the small office and headed back to my quarters to get some sleep.
That was a miserable night. I was tossing and turning until two in the morning when I finally fell into a fitful sleep filled with nightmares. It was the same dream playing in my mind over and over.
I was in a field, lying on my back staring at the sky. The clouds were dark and large and they seemed to be rushing in towards the ground; almost as if they were alive. I tried to move but I seemed to be paralyzed. I couldn't see anything but the tall grass surrounding me and the dark sky. Every noise echoed in my ears and caused me to shrink back in fear.
I heard Korean soldiers walking around me and their angry shouts. Then suddenly I heard the piercing cry of a newborn baby. I frantically tried to sit up to see where the cries were coming from but I was still pinned to the ground. The footsteps around me stopped suddenly and I felt myself being dragged by my arms. My head leaned forward, my chin resting on my chest as they pulled me to the edge of the field. I saw blood covering my entire body. My chest was ripped open exposing my ribs. I realized why I couldn't move…I was dead. The man dropped me at the side of the road and I felt something under my arm. They had laid me next to a baby. The child was also covered in blood and was so mutilated that it was obviously dead. I looked away in horror. Then I saw was a rough blanket being placed over my body. A few moments later the blanket was ripped off and I was in the middle of the field again…the dream continued on exactly as it had before. I was trapped in this terrifying dream and I couldn't get myself to wake up. This dream played over and over in my mind all night, with each dream my fear and terror increased until Kellye mercifully awoke me a little before six.
"Major wake up." She said, rocking me gently. I shot up so quickly I must have scared her half to death. My shirt was soaked with perspiration as was my sheets and cot. "Are you aright Major? You look like you've seen a ghost!"
I attempted to smile as I stood up. "I'm fine; it was just a bad dream." She nodded, still eyeing me cautiously.
"Alright, hurry and get dressed, I'll show you around the hospital." I nodded and quickly pulled on my clothes.
My first day there was exhausting. I had tried my hardest to fill my expected position but I couldn't focus. My mind was miles away, wondering what my husband was doing. I just couldn't keep my suspicions at bay. I wanted to trust him but his track record made me wary. About halfway through the day a surgeon approached me.
"Major Houlihan, may I speak to you for a moment?"
"Of course Colonel. What can I do for you?" I replied curtly.
"Are you all right Major? Your mind seems to be miles away." I blushed slightly, I wasn't aware that my troubles were that obvious.
"I'm fine Colonel, thank you for asking." I quickly turned and walked away to get some needed supplies from the storage room. I was breathing heavily and my heart was beating quickly. I knew I wasn't all right.
"Damn it!" I yelled as I tripped over a stack of small boxes. I knelt down to restack them and I began to cry softly. "Damn him!" I screamed, "I hate him!" I heard the door open and I quickly tried to regain my composure.
"Major?" It was Kellye, I wondered if I could trust her. I needed to talk to someone, and this time there was no Hawkeye. I couldn't lean on him any more. I turned to let her see my face.
"What am I going to do?" I asked weakly. She walked over to me and knelt beside me, placing her arm around my shoulders.
I started babbling as I began to cry again. "I knew what he was like. Why did I think he would change for me?" She looked confused but I continued rambling. "I don't know why I expected him to be different, but still…I just…I mean…well we haven't even…" My sentence dissolved into sobs and she hugged me softly. It was comforting to know she cared even though I had been almost cruel to her in the past.
"You think he's cheating on you?" I nodded, still too upset to speak. "Why do you think that? I mean you haven't even talked to him so why would that lead you to believe he's with another woman?"
"Colonel Potter lied." I choked out.
"I'm not following you."
"He said Hawkeye was in surgery but he wasn't." Kellye sighed.
"Talk to him before you yell at him, okay? Give him a chance, and try not to worry Major. He loves you and I doubt he would act that foolishly." I nodded and attempted to smile as I began to restack the boxes. Kellye stood up and began to walk out.
"Kellye," I called. She turned and looked at me. I wasn't sure what to say. I wanted to thank her for being so sweet to me when I was always such a jerk to her. I was never very good with words. "Call me Margaret?" I said as a question rather than a command. She nodded and I knew she understood.
I walked back to my quarters that night with Kellye. She was trying her hardest to keep me entertained to keep my mind off of Hawkeye. We were right outside when she stopped suddenly.
"Oh darn, I forgot something." She said rather forcefully. I looked at her curiously. What was she up to? "I'll be right back Margaret." She turned around and jogged off. I chuckled to myself. What was with her? She was a terrible liar. I shook my head in amusement and opened the door. I yanked off my coat and was about to pull off my shirt when I heard a voice behind me.
"Are you sure you want to do that?" My heart jumped at that voice. I whipped around and stared at the man stretched across my cot. I ran to him and threw myself on top of him and started crying. Hawkeye laughed and pried me off of him.
"Hey some welcome; a torrent of tears." He smiled and wiped my face off with his sleeve.
"I missed you." I managed to say.
"I missed you too Hot Lips." I hadn't realized how much I had missed him until I saw him lying there. Suddenly something in my mind clicked.
"Where were you last night?" He smiled.
"In a hotel, not far from here. Why?" I blushed deeply thinking of my agony all day and my outburst with Kellye. Wait Kellye…where was she? I looked at Hawkeye suspiciously.
"Does Kellye know?" He laughed loudly, his eyes twinkling in amusement.
"Of course she does, why do you think she's bunking with a different nurse for the next two nights?"
"Two nights?" He nodded.
"Yeah Colonel Potter gave me a three day pass." He raised his eyebrows suggestively. "You know we never got a honeymoon."
"I am quite aware of that fact Captain." I giggled as he poked my side. Suddenly he grabbed my hands and pinned them above my head as he began tickling my stomach.
"Stop!" I screamed, laughing hysterically. I thrashed around trying desperately to free my arms. Suddenly he let go and lurched backwards. I sat up quickly preparing myself for another attack. I frowned as I saw him sitting on the floor with his hand cupped under his nose…he was bleeding.
I stifled a laugh as I jumped up and grabbed a towel. I sat down beside him and handed it to him as he glared at me playfully.
"I'm going to have a hard time explaining this at the 4077th." I smiled and leaned against his side. He wrapped his free arm around me and pulled me close.