"Come on Hawkeye, talk to me!" Hawkeye opened his eyes to look at his friend. Then he shut them and leaned back in his chair sipping his martini.
"Hawk," BJ persisted. "Hawkeye!" BJ stepped over to his friend and pried the glass out of his hand, throwing it against the door.
"Hey! What do you think your doing?" Hawkeye cried as the glass shattered.
"I'm redecorating." BJ said determinedly, walking towards the still.
"Beej, don't you dare." Hawkeye said menacingly. However BJ paid to attention to him and began to rapidly dismantle the still.
"Knock it off!" Hawkeye jumped up and pushed BJ away from the still. "Are you crazy? What are you doing?" Hawkeye began to feel dizzy and he sat back down.
"Hawkeye you haven't stopped drinking since this morning! You'll kill yourself at the rate you're going!"
"Don't look at it as me dying, just look at it as a transfer." He said cynically. BJ looked at his friend. He had really lost it. BJ gathered up the remains of the still and began to walk towards Colonel Potter's office, depositing the still in the garbage on his way in.
"Colonel you have to get Sidney down here." BJ demanded as he walked into the office. Colonel Potter was on the phone and he held up his hand.
"Yes I understand you're busy, but…" He was cut off by the person on the other end. "Why don't you people get it? We need to find her!" He shouted angrily into the phone and followed his sentence with a few choice words. He paused and then sighed. "Yes, I'll hold." He then looked up at BJ.
"What's that about Sidney?" He asked wearily.
"For Hawkeye," He explained. "I think he's really lost it Colonel. I'm worried."
"I already called Sidney, and just about every other shrink in Korea. None of them can make it here right now." He placed the receiver against his ear again. "Hello? Yes this is Colonel Potter. Yes…it was a Corporal Miller. You found him?" Colonel Potter paused as he listened. "Oh I see, thank you Major." Colonel Potter sighed as he hung up the phone. He sadly looked over at BJ.
"They found the jeep…and the corporal." Colonel Potter looked extremely upset.
"And…" BJ prompted, "What about Margaret?"
Colonel Potter simply shook his head.
"Colonel, what about Margaret?"
Sherman cleared his throat and poured himself and BJ a drink. "The jeep had exploded. They also found the corporal who was driving…He was dead. From the explosion, his face…" He just shook his head again.
BJ sat down heavily processing the information.
"Well if she wasn't there, couldn't she be alive?" He asked hopefully. Colonel Potter stared into his drink.
"The jeep was about seven miles behind enemy lines."
"Hawk?" BJ approached his friend nervously. Hawkeye wished he would just go away. He was miserable. He couldn't help but blame himself for what had happened. He honestly wanted to die.
BJ sat down beside him, unsure if he should tell his distraught friend of the discovery.
"Don't worry Hawk, they'll find her." He said reassuringly; placing a comforting hand on his shoulder.
Hawkeye shrugged off his hand and walked outside. When he reached the door he stopped and turned to look at his friend. "Yeah, but will they find her alive?" He walked out slamming the door behind him.
Hawkeye walked back to the hillside he had been at that morning. He sat down next to the same tree with his knees pulled to his chest. He felt like a little boy frightened by a noise in the night. He looked at the sky. I was darkening, large clouds quickly rolling in, blotting out the sun. He rested his head onto his knees. He couldn't believe this was happening. Only two days ago he had been ready to propose to a woman he loved with his entire being. Now he was in the middle of a field wondering if that same woman was dead or alive.
"And it's all your fault." He said to himself. "She didn't want to go to the 8063rd. She probably wouldn't have gone if you hadn't reassured Potter to send her away."
The first few raindrops hit his forehead and rolled down, around his eyes and mixed with the warm tears covering his cheeks.
BJ looked at the clock. It was two in the morning and Hawkeye still wasn't back. Where was that idiot? Absentmindedly BJ opened the door and glanced around outside. It was pouring down rain. A flash of lightning occasionally lit up the sky. He looked around searching for any sign of Hawkeye. As a bolt of lightning flashed across the sky BJ saw him standing outside of the compound staring at something. BJ ran as quickly as possible towards his friend. When he was about fifteen feet away he stopped and began shouting at him.
"Hawk are you crazy? I've been worried sick about you!" Hawkeye gave no response. He didn't even acknowledge BJ's words. He just continued staring at the ground. BJ followed his gaze, wondering what his friend was thinking. He saw nothing just an empty field. BJ's body tensed. They were standing on the edge of a minefield.
"Hawk? Come on let's go get some coffee." Hawkeye turned and looked at his friend. His eyes were swollen and he was drenched.
"It's my fault Beej. It's all my fault." He chocked out. "I killed her!"
"No, no you didn't." BJ was scared. He was trying desperately to get his friend away from the field. "Hawk, she might be fine! What if she comes back and we have to tell her you're dead?" That seemed to get his attention. "Are you willing to take that risk?" Hawkeye sighed and turned around to face BJ. BJ walked towards him slowly and put an arm around his shoulders. "Come on, let's get some coffee."