I remember when I woke up in the hospital two days later. Daniel was sitting beside me with his head in his hands. I tried to sit up but sharp pain in my ribs prevented me from doing so. I groaned and Daniel's head jerked up and he smiled.
"You've had us scared to death. Don't you ever do that again." He said as he began to cry tears of relief. At that moment he reminded me so much of Hawkeye when I woke up at the 4077th after my accident. Not only the way he looked but the way he was stroking my cheek gently and kissing my hand. I moved my free hand over my stomach and panic shot through me and I began crying. It hurt like hell but I couldn't stop.
"Calm down Margaret, its okay."
"Where…where is…what happened to my baby?" I choked out. Daniel gently pushed be back down and smoothed my bangs away from my forehead.
"Its okay Margaret, calm down."
"Where's my baby?" I screamed.
"They did an emergency cesarean. The baby was flown to a children's hospital in New York."
I began to calm down but didn't bother to stop the silent tears running down my cheeks. "Is it okay?"
Daniel sighed and wiped away my tears. "Margaret, he's three months early. We just don't know if he's going to make it."
I closed my eyes and cried inwardly for my baby. My precious baby boy; would I ever get to see him alive?
The next few weeks were pure torture; both physically and mentally. Every day I lived in dread of the moment that I would get a call telling me that my baby had died. I desperately wanted my husband, but try as we might, we could not get through to him. Every letter I had written over the past months had been returned. Hawkeye didn't even know where I was.
Finally after three weeks of intensive care and physical therapy they told me I could go home. When Daniel told me the news I started crying. Home; I was going home. As we were pulling out of the hospital parking lot a sudden thought occurred to me.
"Daniel, can we go to New York?"
"Are you crazy? You just got out of the hospital, why on earth do you think I would let you go to New York?" He asked incredulously.
I decided to turn on a faucet of tears. "Please Daniel; I want to see my baby."
"No Margaret, it's out of the question."
I was desperate; I needed to see my baby boy. "Daniel if…if he…if he dies and I never get to see him…" I couldn't continue. I had started with fake tears but now they were real and I couldn't stop them.
Daniel pulled off to the side of the highway and tried to calm me down. When I stopped crying he cursed and turned the car around. I smiled satisfactorily. We were headed for New York.
Daniel wheeled me into a colorful hospital lobby. The walls were painted a sunny yellow with cheerful murals around the doors.
"Where is the nursery?" He asked the receptionist.
"Fourth floor," she replied. "Make a right out of the elevator and another right at the end of the hall. You can't miss it."
Daniel thanked her and we silently made our way to the fourth floor. We found the nursery and Daniel walked over to a nurse and began conversing with her out of my ear shot. After a few moments he walked back over to me.
"She's going to see what she can do."
I felt like crying as we followed the nurse. I didn't know what I would do if I came this close only to be denied seeing my son. She brought us into a small room with a sink and rocking chair before walking into an adjoining room. We waited for what seemed like an eternity but in reality was less than five minutes. The nurse slipped back into the room.
"Come with me." She said quietly as she handed us two surgical masks. I quickly slipped on the mask as Daniel wheeled me into the next room. There were several empty plastic bassinets. At the end of the room there was a desk with a nurse watching us suspiciously.
"He's over here." The nurse said, my heart began to beat quickly. Now that I was here I wasn't sure if I really wanted to see him. If he died wouldn't it be better if I never saw him? It might make it easier. In any case it was too late to turn back.
The nurse brought us past several infants; some older than others. It was sad realizing that they were all here because they were sick somehow.
"Here he is." Her voice made me jump. I looked beside where she was standing and I began to cry. More than anything I wanted to hold him but I knew that was impossible. Tubes were running out of his throat and he was hooked up to three different machines. I clung to Daniel's arm and he stroked my hair and let me cry. My baby was so small, so fragile. His grip on life was so fragile; it was terrifying to think about how easily my baby boy could die.
"Are you ready to go?" Daniel asked me gently. I nodded weakly and with one final look at my son he wheeled me back downstairs and we headed home.
Two weeks later I got a call at work telling me that my baby was functioning on his own. He was considerably stronger and we could bring him home. I nearly dropped the phone when they told me this. I told them we would be there to pick him up as soon as possible and I hastily hobbled into Daniel's office. I was crying and rambling on about the phone call, Daniel couldn't understand a word of it. When I finally got the message across he grabbed his jacket and we headed outside. He shouted at Laura, his receptionist, to cancel all of his appointments and then we were on our way to New York.
I was crying for the entire drive. I had never felt so relieved in all my life. My baby was coming home! When we got to the hospital I dashed to the elevators, almost breaking my neck with my crutches. When we arrived at the nursery I breathlessly explained myself to the nurse. She smiled and pulled a file from the drawer and asked me to fill out several forms.
If it wasn't for Daniel I don't think I would have ever made it through all the paperwork. I almost started laughing hysterically when I arrived at the birth certificate. Daniel smiled and watched me as I began to fill out my name; Margaret Emily Pierce. Father's name; Benjamin Franklin Pierce. I paused at the baby's name. I had already picked out a name but I hadn't told Daniel. I began so write slowly and deliberately. Daniel Benjamin Pierce. Daniel smiled and squeezed my shoulder. I looked over at him holding back some tears. I put my hand on his and smiled. I handed the file back to the nurse and she walked around the corner.
As I waited for her to bring Danny I realized how tired I was. I wanted to crawl into bed and sleep for days. She came back in a few moments and I began to cry all over again as I held my son for the first time. His eyes were still shut and he was so tiny. As I held him in my arms I was overwhelmed with a wonder that is hard to explain. Life is so amazing. How had Hawkeye put it? Ah yes, miraculous. Miraculous is the only way to describe it.
I gasped as Danny opened his eyes. It made me start crying all over again. "Look," I breathed. "He has his eyes." Daniel smiled, knowing I was talking about Hawkeye.
On the way home I held my baby close. I didn't think I would ever be able to put him down. Throughout the next few weeks I became familiar with my baby. Everything he did I was sure was brilliant. As he grew older and stronger I was amazed at how quickly he learned. As the months went by Danny became my life. Never was anything more important to me than he was.