Okay, so in World History one day my teacher made us write stories about how we thought the peacock was created using the words Zeus, cow, Hera, Io, Hermes, Argus, and Mount Olympus (he later read us the real version and mine was nothing like it). I've never written anything in the Greek Mythology section before so excuse me if this sucks, but it's only for a laugh. Plus I don't know a lot about Greek gods so I don't know what I'm doing here and sorry if I get everything wrong.

Disclaimer: Don't own the gods. I only know the names of like three anyway. Oh yes and this is supposed to be fast-paced (in case you noticed) since we only were given ten minutes to write it.

The Nameless Story About Pie, Peacocks, and Hermes

Once upon a time there was a messenger god named Hermes. Hermes liked pie. So one day when he was sitting at his table by himself having cherry pie for breakfast in his home on Mount Olympus, Zeus and his wives Io and Hera appeared with their pet cow, Zeus Junior.

Zeus immediately sat down across from Hermes and took a piece of pie. "The monster Argus is becoming a problem." Argus was a many-eyed creature the gods had created, but lately it had taken to eating all the innocent bystanders he could find.Zeus gave his cow Zeus Junior some pie, but apparently cows don't like pie and the poor thing started retching. Zeus continued, "So my wives and Ihave come up with a plan. We will sneak up to Argus when he is sleeping and will steal his eyes (don't ask me how), then when he is blindedwe'll kidnap him andlock him into a big cage. That way he won't get out and cause any more problems and we can all be happy and have tea parties again. You will have to sneak up and run away with his eyes for us."

"What's in it for me?" In response, Zeus held up a gift certificate saying, 'Lifetime Supply Of Pie'. Hermes agreed immediately.

So Hermes stole Argus' eyes, then came back to abduct the monsterand lock him in a cage. He caused quiet a fuss, but in the end it all worked out and Argus was released seven years later, never again resuming his habit of chewing the limbs of unsuspecting mommies and daddies. Back to Hermes, and the present.

But then there was the problem of what to do with the eyes. Hermes finally decided to use them to make a new creature with them, called a peacock because he was having veggie casserole and apple cinnamon pie at the time. He made a bird with a magnificent, full greentail and put Argus' eyes on the tail. When Zeus arrived with his cow the next night, he was very pleased atHermes' successand his cow and the peacock fell in love and Hermes had pie for the rest of his life.

THE END

I wrote this in like five minutes, hope you like it and at least don't harass me over my limited knowledge of Greece too much!