Penny no own. jj no own. Lee Myung-Jin own. Penny turns over fic to jj. Where's book eleven?
This is for Miss Rhea-samma who needs to update her fics ((all of which jj lurves)). XD And Miss yuya hime because she said she'd give me critical opinions. And Mecari from the forums, how could I forget?
This is set years before Lorelei's Crossing and might eventually explain why Loki is so weird in LC.
One: Of Tragic Plays and Important Realizations
Gold?
Yes, it was gold… molten, burning hotly like it was being forged… Chaos' brow furrowed. His fingers fiddled with his knife absentmindedly. His other hand propped up his chin.
What else was there? There was another color, I'm sure of it. He frowned, ignoring his breakfast and companions, sifting through the remnants of his dream. What is it that makes the damn dream so different?
" – and then, Chaos, would you believe this? It's gonna be sooo cooool! Ya see – "
Iris was grinning happily, almost bouncing on her seat, talking about this and that and ooh, did you know?, occasionally stopping to scarf down humongous bites of food. She chatted animatedly, content as long as Chaos nodded now and then and pretended he was listening attentively, though she always noticed sooner of later if he wasn't being focused. Ah, Iris in hyper-happy mode. It would have been cute if it hadn't been so …
"Yer annoying."
"Lidiiiaaa!"
"What? It's the – owww, that hurt!"
"Well, you deserved it!"
"Oh, and that means ya hafta KILL ME?"
"YOU GOT THAT RIGHT!"
Chaos vein popped. Unfocused? Well, take it back because he was getting pissed. But not by much, because they were all getting used to Iris' and Lidia's constant fights. Except Reina, who saw it as further proof that humans were vile creatures and almost always got them to stop –
Thwack!
with random inanimate objects, this time a fork traveling with dangerously high velocity into the wall behind them (but not before grazing Lidia's cheek and cutting some of Iris' hair) , and Loki, who could stop them –
"…"
with his patented glare of death. They settled down immediately, shooting each other poisonous looks.
Chaos ignored everything, which was unusual, and looked out the window, which wasn't as unusual, and stared absently at the sky. Sky…
Yes, the sky, big and wide, stretching on forever, streaked with bright white, and blue: so lustrous, this blue, and pretty, too; smooth and silky to the touch –
Ehhh? Pretty sure I thought of something weird just now … but … what the hell was it again
"Oi, are ya gonna eat that?"
"…"
Come to think of it, what did he want to know in the first place? His blasted thoughts were wandering again.
"I said…" Lidia took another breath.
"Yeah, yeah, I heard you loud and clear. And no, it's mine; I feel darned hungry."
It was then that Chaos felt his stomach rumble, so the Rune Knight threw his thoughts to the air and dug into his meal with gusto.
-
Fifteen hours later, nobody was thinking about anything remotely related to the dream. No, their minds were occupied with –
"That," exclaimed Lidia, as she opened the inn's door to the girl's quarters, "Was a crappy waste of my Zeny."
"Rubbish!" Iris sat on the bed; her eyes were puffy and red. There were still-damp trails on her cheeks. "It was the most beautifully tragic love story ever! Plus the actors were so convincingly awesome. Don't tell me you weren't touched. You were crying, too!"
"I was crying 'cause I spent all that money for nothing!"
"I agree," said the person who disagreed with her on almost everything. "You said you were on a 'perilous' quest. Why waste precious hours dawdling and spending on frivolous pursuits? That play had nothing to do with the heart of Ymir, or anything else of importance."
"Oh guys, loosen up will you? We all needed some R and R. Besides, we couldn't leave the town until next week anyway. Might as well enjoy, right, Fenris?"
"…"
"…"
"Hey, where's Fenris?"
-
"Why did he do that? Sacrifice himself pointlessly?"
Fenris 'hmmed' beside him, seated on porch steps. The wind blew past them, chillingly brisk, reminding them of how late it was. Yet he was still facing her as she tilted her head towards the heavens and neither seemed to mind the cold.
"To save her, obviously. That's the way a tragedy usually goes – a true and lasting love, yet one of them dies, and the other is left to languish alone. I must say, despite the brilliant dialogue, the concept of the drama was rather overused."
"He acted foolishly."
She 'hmmed' again, this time in agreement.
"But it was a life and death situation, and her life was of more value to him than his own. He wanted her to live, to grow old with her loved ones, and be happy. Selfless love – "
"Why did he act so recklessly then, and killed himself? This is exactly what puzzles me about human behavior."
"Whatever do you mean?"
"You say their love was lasting and true? You say he loved her more than he loved himself. He wanted to 'save' her, to let her 'live', did he not? So why did he let himself be killed? What of her feelings, then? She loved him too, or so she said. But she also said she would rather be killed herself. Where is the nobility, the sacrifice in that? They are both stupid. If either one of them dies, there is no happiness. The one who 'lived' would suffer the most. It would have been more 'selfless' to let the other die. Could they not see that? Also, to begin with, if their goal was 'happily ever after', why did they pursue actions detrimental to that goal? But here is the most infuriating fact of all: In the end, all of that pain was utterly unnecessary and irrelevant. There were plenty of opportunities to act and save both of themselves, yet all they did was spout useless drivel about love and make hysterics."
Fenris blinked. And, to be honest, tried not to gape too much. Was this Loki talking? Cold, silent, stoic Loki? The very same Loki who professed to know nothing of human motivations and feelings?
He made a vaguely angry sound, fingers curling into fists. Years and years of obsession and pent-up frustration, finally released.
"That is why I do not understand you humans."
Fenris blinked again. And snorted. And sputtered. And started giggling. And, finally, she burst into full-fledged laughter, covering her mouth with one hand, shoulders shaking with unsuccessfully suppressed mirth. Loki eyed her strangely, waiting until it passed.
"Are you all right?"
"Ah, sorry," she gulped. Obviously, Loki was not the only one OOC tonight.
"Oh, Loki, is this what makes you 'human, and yet not'?"
"No…" he paused, deciding to ignore her uncharacteristic display (and his, too). "But it is a large part of it. Why?"
"Because… well, because. Loki, do you have any idea of how human you are?"
"…"
"That little outburst… it proves that you are no more different than the rest of us. No less human."
"…"
"…"
"…what?"
"That was all? You do not understand us because we act irrationally and impulsively?"
"Yes."
She stifled another bout of giggles. If what she thought was true, then the explanation was so simple, it was ridiculous.
"Loki… you see, humans sometimes do not think with their brains."
"…"
"Here." She pressed her hand against her chest. "In many instances, we humans think with this. Even the Gods do, but in a slightly different way."
"I do not see you point."
"We think with our heart. Our mind might not know what to do; it might not be working at all. Or, most of the time, our heart simply overrides the mind, throwing all semblance of logic into the air. 'We get carried way.' The wonderful thing is, each and every one of our hearts is unique, every one of us feels differently. No one truly understands why. I think it is not meant to be understood."
She paused, and went on.
"Very few of us can always channel, or control or suppress our emotions, and act upon what our brains are telling us all the time. Just a few, but that doesn't make them inhuman."
"You simply think with your feelings?"
"Correct."
"But… that is not thinking at all!"
She actually grinned; looking like a teacher who had just explained to a particularly slow student that yes, one plus one does equal two.
"Precisely."
-
Up, alone in his room with only a snoring Iris for company, Chaos couldn't shake the feeling that he'd learned something very very important that day.
-
End of Chapter One
Note: The actual play? Um… probably something like Romeo and Juliet, only just one of them dies.
Oh oh oh… I'm not ready for the responsibility of an actual storyline! I'm pretty sure I'll make a huge mess of this already…
Loki: I am absolutely certain you have and will. Everyone, please review, and corroborate my statement.