Chapter 6

As Davis worked on new ISR footage, the team stirred in their chairs, noticing it was almost afternoon now, and they still had no answers. No team update, no ISR footage, and no QRF update. Nothing to settle their nerves allowing them to have a proper breath or put anything substantial into their wasting away bodies. No sleep to help their cloudy heads as they sat there and waited.

"I GOT IT!" Davis screamed as she jumped up and directed her head to the large screen at the front of the room. "ISR will be established in thirty seconds."

The team jolted up in their seats and waited impatiently with Davis and Blackburn at the screen. This was the longest thirty seconds of their lives as they waited, hoping the scenarios that came up in their heads as they sat in silence were not a reality, and they feared what they would see on the other end of the video.

The last known location popped up on the screen, and everyone froze. No one dared to speak as they all stared at seven bodies lying around in various positions along the back of the house and flames shooting up around them. They could see the fire slowly encroaching on their unmoving bodies. What had happened? Where is Liz? This was the only thing the team could think about as they all stared in disbelief.

Trent was the first to speak. "We can see the full body outlines, so that's good no one is trapped under something. Maybe they are unconscious and not…?" He was out of words to help make the tea feel better as he had no answers, and it rattled him. He could not see blood, broken bones, breathing, or any details on ISR footage, just a grey screen of the building with white flames and seven green body outlines. Motionless.

Ray was the first to look away and go back to the table along with Trent and Brock as they all hung their head, not sure what to do. They could do nothing but wait until the QRF got to them and hopefully had working coms. Jason and Sonny looked at each other and then at Clay as they put a hand on each of his shoulders, trying to offer some comfort. No words could comfort him, and they could start to see panic rise on his face as he clenched his fists. They returned to the table and sat down, still watching Clay. All Clay could do was stand there staring at the screen, focusing on the small silhouette by the room's opening and not moving.

The team stayed like this for a while, and no one talked; no one dared to breathe too loud, afraid they would lose the footage or say something wrong. Then suddenly, the screen went blank. Darkness approached them as Davis shot to her computer and tried to get the footage back, and only came up with two words flashing on her screen, mocking her. Lost signal.

….

It was no secret Bravo is overly protective over any member of their team, and this time is no different. Each team member was trying to process this information, and some were having a more challenging time than others putting their feelings aside and focusing on how they could help from TOC to get their fellow SEALs back. To get Liz back safe under their watch.

Brock and Trent were silent, staring at their feet on the ground, not moving an inch. They could not look at anyone or back at the black screen, taunting their negative thoughts. Ray sat down, lowered his head, and only hoped he could be heard loud enough in their prayers to get his friends and family home and all safe. Sonny, on the other hand, was not as quiet as the other three team members. He let out a loud slur of curse words in his deep Texan drawl, yelling out everyone he could think of and slamming his fists down hard on the table and walking over to the wall to try and punch out his anger. Jason grabbed his arm just in time to hold him back; broken bones were not on the menu for today, and everyone needed to be in perfect condition if they could force the brasses hand and get a green light to go after their men. Jason engulfed Sonny in a bear hug from behind, squeezing him tighter to calm him down and render him defenceless while muttering in his ear that he is no help to anyone if he is in a cast. Jason could hold back his emotions just enough to stop his damn from exploding with his fury, anger, angst and nerves. His team needed him, and he could not break in front of them; he had to be the strong one to get them through this mess and make sure they knew Liz was coming back to them safe, hell or high water. Jason released Sonny as he walked over to the table and sat down in defeat as he lowered his head in his hands.

Clay was unmoving still as his eyes were glued to the screen. He had not moved an inch since they all gathered around the screen. He did not let out a sound or breath as he stared at the black screen. He did not think or believe what his eyes were seeing. He was blank. As soon as Sonny settled and Jason turned to Clay after gazing at each of his team members, Clay finally let out the breath he was holding, eyes glistening, hands shaking.

"Clay," Jason whispered as he took one step towards him with his harm out but afraid if he touched him, Clay would crumble. Shatter-like glass trying to hold together with an enormous weight sitting upon it.

At that, Clay whipped his head around and locked eyes with Jason as he sucked in a laboured breath and, without a word, stormed out of command and disappeared. He was facing the situation that a fellow SEAL may be lost. No one knew if they should follow him or let him process what he was feeling and what he was going through and allow him to come back when he was ready to face them.

…

Clay rushed towards their weapons cage with rage in his eyes. This was Liz! He could not believe that Jason was backing down and waiting for help.

"What do you think you're doing, Clay?"

Clay turned to see Blackburn standing in the doorway with his hands on his hips, not looking pleased. He lifted one hand and ran it down his face in stress.

"I am going to get our missing team member." Clay spit out firmly.

"No way in hell am I letting you go. You heard me tell Jason we are not allowed to go, which is higher than Captain Lindell and me. Sorry, son." Blackburn addressed.

"I don't care what everyone says, we can't just leave them out there surrounded, and we have no idea their condition. We always look out for our fellow SEALs, and I am bringing them home." Clay returned with fire in his voice.

Blackburn was hoping this would not happen, and he was holding back his team; he honestly thought it would be Clay, Sonny and Jason in here. But Sonny and Jason looked so defeated and lost in hope when he left TOC that he didn't think they would be able to get their heads straight enough to get out of command and make it to their cages. On the other hand, Clay was full of fire, rage and hurt. He was scared and let it drive him and lead him down a dark path. "No, and that's an order. Don't you think to try and get out there and go after them? Their QRF is almost there and will beat you anyways. You will stand down, Petty Officer Spenser."

Clay just looked at him, and Blackburn could see the wheels turning in his head. Yes, he was emotional, but he always would come around to logic. By the time he got there, they would hopefully be on their way back with the team.

Clay blinked a few times, turned back towards the table, and started loading up his ruck.

"Do NOT make me write you up, Spenser. I will if I have to. I need you all here and safe. If you do, then what? How will Liz feel if she returns and finds out you left against orders and are stuck or possibly dead? Think!" Blackburn spits out.

Not a word. At the mention of Liz, Clay froze and stared at him again. This time Blackburn could see the hurt and fear in his eyes. Clay then threw his ruck onto the floor of his cage and stormed off.

…..

Davis looked at everyone with regret and sorrow as she somehow blamed herself for losing Liz, for losing the feed, their reassurance they would all see their baby sister again. She locked her eyes on Sonny and sank into the chair beside him with one hand on his arm to try and provide comfort.

They all experienced loss in this job; it was what they signed up for, and they knew going in that moment could be their last. They all knew they could lose someone close to them no matter how much they tried; these were the tolls of war. But when they usually would lose a fellow SEAL, a friend, it was so sudden they did not have time to process, to watch and wait for the loss of life. They would be in combat and had to process the loss in a split second and push through to save themselves and could mourn later, on their own, when they needed it. This situation made them all helpless as they were not there to protect anyone and watched them hours after the event on screens hoping for any good news that could not be in the fight or set eyes on them.

Jason took one last look at his team and hung his head at the sight of defeat and loss of hope. He mumbled, "They will all be back." And left after Clay knowing if he were alone for too long, he would self-destruct.

….

"I can't lose her. She's my person." Clay mumbled at Jason as they sat on the chairs around their firepit. " I tried to go; I have to help."

Jason found him pacing around their bunks, unable to settle and throwing stuff around the room and at Liz's door. He was on the verge of exploding as he shook so violently that Jason was worried he would start hitting things and harming himself. He was blaming himself in every way possible for this situation. Clay always took the weight of the team and his friends on his shoulders and let it crumble him time and time again.

"I know." Jason looked at Clay and took another step into the room closer to him, waiting for the moment to jump in.

"I need her here. I need to see her and know she's ok. To hold her in my arms, feel her heartbeat, and know she is safe." Clay started to shake harder; his voice strained as his walls crumbled.

Jason knew he needed to help ease some of the pain running through Clay's body and absorb it into himself. To support his son. He threw himself at Clay just as he turned around to start his pacing and grabbed Clay in a hug, holding him right against his chest. Clay struggled against his captor's hold, needing to be set free to work off his pent-up stress. Jason held onto him tighter, not letting go as he retook a fist time and time to his chest and arms batting at him to gain a release. After a few minutes, Clay crumbled to the ground letting out a sob clutching at Jason's arms that held him across his side.

Usually, SEALs do not show their emotions, as this is a weakness, and they were trained not to have any faults. No weakness could be held against them. No chunks in their armour that their enemy can gain any leverage with. But at this moment, Jason knew this was not a SEAL he was dealing with. He knew this was a personal moment; he needed to be Clay's father figure and help a small boy with his overwhelming emotions of loss, regret, and love.

They both crumpled to the floor as Jason still held Clay, as he started to sob as his damn cracked wide open. As they sat, Jason could feel tears welling in his eyes as he thought about losing Liz. Losing the team member, he had a special place in his heart and was viewed as his friend. His daughter. After an eternity, they settled, and Clay moved out of Jason's arms. They both stayed on the ground like they were afraid that as soon as they got up, they would have to move and walk over to TOC and receive the news they were all dreading. Both of them leaned up against the wall. Knees up, hands sagging into their laps as their heads hung down, staring at the floor.

"We will get her back. I can promise you that. I will make sure we get her back." Jason said after a moment, finally lifting his eyes to glance at Clay. "We owe her that much; no matter what, we will bring her home; we will bring them all home."

Clay looked at him and nodded, too scared to speak for a moment knowing Jason what Jason was saying. She would be brought home. "I need her here. She would know what to say or do in this situation. She is my other half, and I don't know what to do with a gaping hole in my chest." He croaked out, his voice harsh from crying.

"You need to tell her." That was all Jason could reply. He was in love with her even if he did not know it. He knew what she meant to the team, but her and Clay were on another level.