Junk Mail

Another one? He eyed the envelope sitting atop his desk.

He dropped the stack of papers he had just brought back from the post office onto his desk. If they were going to deliver his mail, why make him go all the way down to the postal office to bring these back?

"Renji, separate these for me," he sighed and fanned himself. He didn't have time for this.

The vice-captain grumbled and trudged over to the pile of flowery envelopes.

Fan-mail. Fan-mail. To Bya-chan? More fan-mail. Bills. Junk. A late birthday card. Fan-mail. Fan-mai-

"Oi! Taichou! Is this really from-?"

Kuchiki Byakuya peered over the mountain of letters and scowled at the envelope in his subordinate's hands. Another one.

"Ugh, throw that trash away."

"Y-yessir," he wondered if reading it would be considered treason. Or maybe not reading and reporting it would be considered withholding information? And treason? Ugh, he needed to spend less time with that emo nut-case.

-

Two hundred and sixty three letters later, his hands were sore and his mind was numb.

Fanmailfanmailfanmailfanmailfanmail- and the occaisional bill or junk mail.

And then there were those envelopes addressed to "Byakuya-chan", decorated with that eerily familliar smiley. Could it be?

He looked down at the stack of letters in his hands. There had to be at leat fiv- eight? No, more than that- ten?

He locked his door and spread them across the floor to count. One, two, three, seven, sixteen?

Out of curiosity, he decided to open one. Poor Renji, don't you know that's how Soi-Fong's kitty died?

Dear Byakuya-chan,

How cold! Ya haven't replied any of my letters! Didn ya like th' poem?

Should I write ya another one? Hmm, or maybe you should write me one!

Oh! Or maybe someones been readin' yer mail?

Renji dropped the letter. Ichimaru Gin was still as creepy as every, even through long distance first-class postage.

Who'd dare to read Kuchiki Byakuya-sama's letters? Wouldya like me ta skewer him for ya? Oh! or maybe yer still mad cuz I poked ya too hard last time? Aww, c'mon think of it as a friendly gesture!

Friendly gesture, my ass.

Well, I'll be sending ya another letter tomorrow or later or somethin'! Look forward to my new ByakuyaRenji fic! It's NC-17! Hehe, and ya haven't read that ByakuyaHanatarou one either, I'm so hurt!

Love,
Ichimaru Gin (Gin-Smiley)

B-ByakuyaRenji? What was that?

... that it wasIchimaru, he didn't want to know.

-

Kuchiki Byakuya finished his bills and pushed the other stack of useless letters into the wastebasket by his desk. He couldn't believe the nerve of that traitor. First he tries to kill his sister, then he stabs him, and then he sends him a poem. A poem. About his hair.

He could care less about whether or not this would be considered withholding information from Central 46. Not like the letters ever had anything of importance anyway.

Andthey were not hair noodles.

A/N: Sorry I haven't been updating anything lately. I've been busy with homework!schoolstuff and working on other fics on a joint account thingy :x