Chapter 31: The Guide (Part 7)
"...iri?"
Siri blinked into focus, noting a concerned Obi-Wan from the other side of her cell, when had he come in? "What?"
"I was calling your name for about two minutes."
Her eyebrows furrowed a bit before shrugging. "Lost track of time in la la land."
It happened again then. This is to fast, she shouldn't be losing track like that so fast, she needed to get out of this room.
Obi-Wan gave her an incredulous look. "La la land? Really Siri?"
"Yeah, really."
"That looked more like vacant-not there land to me."
She gave him a sharp, tight smile. "Do you want something Obi-Wan?"
"I was curious about something you said last time..."
"Not interested," she said, her voice rising.
"Siri..."
"Unless you're coming with a deal to let me out of the room for a few minutes, even a single minute, get out," she snapped harshly.
Obi-Wan took one look at her face and did an about face. Seemed like Dooku had drilled it into him not to push his luck so much...
...She regretted it five minutes later though when the isolation returned...
"Morning Siri."
"Get out."
"Morn...
"OUT!"
Siri feels jittery by the fourth day (is it the fourth?) of almost pure isolation. She's tried to make a point, but its not working. The Council isn't going to budge on this. So when Obi-Wan (very hesitatingly) walks in, she takes her time before looking at him. Trying her best to hide the rawr, desperate longing, to not show a hint of the suffocating panic she's been in. He holds this visit's tray of food and waits, seeing if he's going to have to leave it by the door again or not. When she doesn't acknowledge him, he moves to set it on the bed before moving towards his normal position...
"A calendar, something to mark it with, and a clock," she said, struggling to keep desperation from her voice, looking up at him, struggling to keep the pleading out of her eyes, "Get me those, and I'll talk to you again."
Obi-Wan hesitates.
And she feels the red rage again, her entire body tensing. "Is that so much to ask? You have no idea what this cell is truly like, Jedi. You who get to leave when you so chose."
"You could leave at any time," he countered softly, "If you would agree to try to return to the light, and mean it."
She looks away from him. "Of all the things I ever thought you were, I didn't think you were cruel."
"I care for you Siri," he said, his voice growing hard, "But that doesn't mean I'm going to go easy on you. You are dangerous, a killer, a Sith, and are largely unrepentant. I don't see a reason to give you a split second to touch the Force and draw the Dark Side in just to alleviate whatever you're particularly feeling at the moment."
"Were it a different situation," she said with harsh wryness, "I might appreciate that steel in your spine. Might appreciate that cruelty to deny and deprive me of that constant, that anchor. Anything to try to get what you want."
"I really don't though."
"I'm not trying to be cruel," he said softly, concern in his voice, "But I'm not going to give an inch until I've learned all I need to learn, and I've started to bring you back."
She stared at him silently for a moment, considering her options. On pure stubborn instinct she wants to refuse to speak to him. She's bent to enough people's wills her entire life, and while she may lo...care for him, that doesn't mean she will follow him like a love-struck animal. She weighs the continued isolation VS the admission of defeat VS actually having someone to talk to...
She also eyes the metal tray on the bed. Not for the food, but for the edge of it, she wonders if its sharp enough with her strength, and if she could be quick enough before he reached her. She dismisses the thought for now. She's not that desperate yet for a way out, but she's more than intelligent enough to know that her only ways out are either: Madness, fading away in this Force Suppression Cell, suicide, or the Jedi eventually giving up and executing her. Turning away from the Dark Side will most likely lead to madness or suicide anyway if what she felt with Ur Manka is any indication; she has years more of sins now, and in this cell she struggles carefully to either tip-toe around memories of her worst offenses (necessary sacrifices), or force her mind empty...
Which more often than not has left her starting out of a stupor at random intervals. She doesn't think emptying herself in this room is a good idea, especially in this situation, but, boredom leads to a wandering mind, and there's only so many basic exercises and pacing in the cell she can do before she loses focus. If she can't keep her mind clear when her memories and conscious (why hadn't that thing died yet?) start acting up, she'll tear herself apart...
On the thought of a way out though...
Was that entrance protected by a force field or a ray shield? If it was the latter, that would be a much quicker way to die.
Thoughts for later.
"You may stay," she said flatly, "But I'm not talking to you."
Obi-Wan gave her a look and turned around towards the entrance.
Siri had to struggle to hold back the desire to call out 'Wait!' Force, what is wrong with her? She's a kriffing Sith Apprentice! She's better than this. Force Suppression and isolation should be nothing to her compared to the shit Sidious put her through, hell, its not even a full solitary confinement with Obi-Wan popping in daily (even if it is for so few seconds sometimes). She doesn't... she doesn't need him. She doesn't need anything but herself! She steels herself as much as she can, and lets him walk out...
...and regrets it deeply the moment he was out of sight.
But like hell does that matter, her entire life is one massive regret at this point, whats one more?
By the seventh day Obi-Wan is starting to get vexed and deeply concerned. After the first few days Siri had given her ultimatum and refused to talk, he had asked Grandmaster for advice. Dooku had advised him to wait and not budge and inch, that she would start lessening her demands to something simpler, and eventually give in completely. That it was important to not give a prisoner any power over him. It had appeared to work initially, she had degraded her desire from being outside the cell to a simple calendar and clock...
Yet that request took him by surprise, its why he hesitated rather than just outright denied it.
The way her eyes gleamed and the hitch in her voice left him... unsettled. It was such a simple request, made in a desperate (as much as she tried to hide it) way. Something in the cell (and the Force when he left) told him that emotion wasn't faked, and why would she fake it over so simple a thing? And why was it so important? It was the first time he had really sat down and considered it. He had been imprisoned or taken captive a few times in his life, though rarely for any extended period of time (and not that he couldn't get out of, most people underestimated what a Force Sensititve could do), though Qui-Gon had to save him a few times. There was a tension of the whole thing, being in danger, or having your fate uncertain, he knew that. He also knew the cell was unsettling to be in as a Force Sensitive. He had expected her to be bored of course, Force knows he had been a few times. The loneliness and isolation he saw from her though... that was unexpected. He thought Darksiders were loners by nature.
The way she tried to hide that tiny flash of relief whenever he stepped into the cell...
...and in the reverse, how she looked slightly worse day by day.
He didn't need the Force to tell him that it wasn't (solely) because of guilt eating her alive. It took until he mentioned it while sipping tea with Qui-Gon, Anakin at the table doing his homework before he got an answer why.
Anakin made a face up at him. "Do Jedi really do that? Stick people all alone in cells for awhile?"
"She's dangerous...," said Obi-Wan slowly, not sure where the boy was going.
"Yeah, but... all prisoners are dangerous, right? And prisons usually have other prisoners to talk to, other people like them," said Anakin, frowning at him, "I remember Gardula doing something like this. If a slave pissed her off enough, and she didn't outright kill them or feed them to the Sarlacc, she'd throw them into a small room for a few weeks, sometimes longer, by themselves, feed em through a door. No one who went in ever came out the same after that..."
Obi-Wan gave him an utterly blank look. "I don't... but I go in and talk to her?"
"Well yeah, but... don't Jedi and Sith hate eachother from what I've heard?" asked Anakin, puzzled, "Wouldn't that just be worse?"
He and Siri didn't hate eachother. There is relief when she sees him, not hate...
Still...
Obi-Wan goes silent and pulls out his datapad, doing a different kind of research while Qui-Gon distracts Anakin by helping with his homework. His search on 'isolation and prison' led to various studies on inmates of different species, and eventually to the term 'Solitary Confinement', and the argued potential psychological effects of that left him very queasy, especially when some of which he's already seen, though the readings never said it would happen so quickly, especially with him there. Maybe its a stacking of different things, the isolation, the guilt, the Force Suppression, not to mention the issues a Sith naturally has. Either way, Siri may deserve to be punished, for justice to be met out, but not like that. He personally had hoped for her to earn penance through helping stop Sidious, and through going out and helping people as a Jedi should, by redeeming herself. It may or may not be a fools dreams, but compassion is the Jedi way, his way, even if some Jedi would rather go with cold hard logic.
So, when he's done his tea at Qui-Gon's apartment, he grabs a few spare credit chips he had stashed away from his time as a padawan, and goes to buy a small wall clock (He's to stubborn to give in completely to what she wanted, so its a compromise). He also decides, that even if she refuses to talk to him, he'll at least stay an hour or so each day. Perhaps Dooku's 'strategy' might have worked, maybe it wouldn't, all the Force faintly tells him on that matter is he was playing a very dangerous game that could have either worked or blown up in his face. Regardless of that, he's not cruel, and he's not going to risk permanently damaging Siri needlessly.
On the eighth morning of nothing more than 'good morning - get out', when he walks in and tacks the clock to her cell wall, he's... unprepared for the way her eyes go comically wide, for the shake of her arms, the shudder down her spine. She looks like shit, and he's fairly certain she's stopped using the fresher to wash herself or change into any of the other provided clothing for the last few days now.
Vindication mixes with guilt, and he's not sure how he feels.
He watches Siri take a long moment to gain control of herself, but even when she does, its not that same joyfully sadistic facade she usually has. Is there a way for someone to seem both brittle and yet hostile at the same time? It's the weirdest thing, especially the lowness of her voice, "What do you want for it?"
"Just... to pick up where we left off," he said, his voice more uncertain then he should show.
He moved to slide down the wall to his usual spot, which is now underneath the clock. "You had said something about stagnation being death?"
Siri closed her eyes. "You wouldn't understand."
"Then explain it to me."
She pursed her lips, opening her eyes and staring up at the clock over his head; he's not blind to the way her eyes follow the tick-tick of the hand. "It requires an understanding of what a Sith really IS."
She frowned briefly before muttering, "Or at least what they're supposed to be."
Obi-Wan raised a questioning eyebrow, but she never looked down from the clock to see it. "Alright, explain what a Sith is supposed to be then."
"Peace is a lie, there is only passion."
"Through passion, I gain strength."
"Through strength, I gain power."
"Through power, I gain victory."
"Through victory, my chains are broken."
"The Force shall free me."
"What do those words mean to you?" she asked, her eyes still trailing the lower hand of the clock.
"I'm assuming that's a code of some kind," said Obi-Wan; and despite the lack of the Force in the cell, there is a chill crawling down his spine.
"The Sith Code," she agreed.
"Well, the first line is wrong," he answered, "There is peace as much as their is passion."
"There is no emotion, there is peace," she shot back.
Ah, there was the mocking, he was wondering where it had gone off to. "I believe we are discussing the Sith Code at the moment, not the Jedi one. Though, one mirrors the other..."
There isn't the slightest hint of amusement on her face. "You see that line as just an twisted reflection, but it's not. Peace is an agent of stagnation, it means the lack of conflict. Conflict is a constant law of the universe, it drives both physical and technological evolution. It forces you to better yourself in order to survive and thrive. How much has the galaxy progressed because of one conflict or another? And I'm not just talking about wars. Diseases, natural disasters, rivalries, competitions, physical limitations, all of that and more forces one to overcome. If we accepted peace, we'd just roll over and die when something unpleasant came our way. Peace is an unnatural aberration."
Obi-Wan takes his time thinking it over, and Siri doesn't rush him, her eyes still glued to that clock with something akin to fanatical devotion if he were to admit it. "Is that moment of peace truly so awful? A chance to recuperate, recover, to rest your weary bones?"
"That's what sleeping is for," she said dryly, "Though, Sidious says he doesn't sleep."
Obi-Wan blinked. "That's impossible, everyone needs to sleep."
"Through the Force, all things are possible," she mocked back, "I personally think he just meditates when he would normally sleep, scrying the future, going over his plans. Or maybe he lies, who knows. For me its a way to explain how he's so in control of everything and ten steps ahead of ideas I can only start wrapping my mind around."
Obi-Wan... doesn't automatically deny it a second time. Lets himself weigh the importance and danger of a foe who gets so much extra time to formulate his plans and plot where normal people, even Jedi, go to sleep and rest. If he's really spending hours each night trying to probe the Force for hints and clues and visions... especially if the Sith is unclouded where the Jedi are not...
The possibility of it makes his skin crawl. "Do you mind if I warn the council of that?"
"Go ahead," she says dismissively.
He makes a note of it on his datapad and sets it down afterwards. "You're not wrong in that conflict does encourage progress. But, is the Sith's default way of brutal war and struggle really the best way?"
"It's the only way we're allowed by you Jedi," she said flatly, "The only peaceful attempts there were to co-exist died with the First Great Schism and the follow up Hundred-Year Darkness, and everything after that just had to much history for their to be anything else."
Obi-Wan had done some reading ahead on the history of the Jedi and the Sith (what was allowed by the Archives, and what Dooku was willing to impart), so he wasn't completely clueless this time. "Peaceful? I was under the impression the Dark Jedi of those times tried to corrupt and convert, then destroy when that didn't work. That's hardly co-existence."
There was a flash of annoyance on her face. "History is written by the victors, Obi-Wan, can you be so sure that was what really happened?"
"Can you be sure of what you know either?" he countered back, "That what you learned wasn't a spiteful or manipulative story? That seems more in-line with the Sith."
She hums to herself for a moment, now there is amusement on her face, though he wishes she would take her eyes of that clock and make eye contact. "Funny that, neither of us can trust some of our predecessors."
"I have trust in mine," he rebutted, "Which is more than you can say for any and all of yours."
Apparently, that was enough to get her to look away from the clock, and its not in a good way. She glares at him, eyes hot with rage. "Sidious yes, but I'd trust Zannah more than I'd trust any Jedi."
Obi-Wan blinked. "Who is Zannah?"
Siri's eyes widen with self-directed fury before she closes herself off. "No one you'd know. We're done for today."
Obi-Wan crossed his arms and completely ignored that, mentally jotting down 'Zannah' to try and look up, was there a possibility of a third Sith? "As for the second line of your code, passion does lead to strength I suppose."
That admission is enough to douse her anger, and she blinks owlishly at him.
He gives her a self-depreciating smile. "You'd have to be ignorant not to admit that. You can see it in people's everyday lives, how their passion towards their jobs, families, duties, can drive them."
Siri doesn't spring on his words. That owlish look fades, she crosses her arms and raises an eyebrow at him, waiting.
Ah, she was learning as much as he was. "However, being consumed by your passions, losing control of them, also has consequences, there's a reason someone came up with the term 'Crimes of Passion', and that's its actually recognized and used in court. As Force Sensitives, those consequences are more... severe, because of how the Force reacts to our emotions. We must control those emotions because of how disastrous things can become when we lose control, we have a responsibility, as trained Force Sensitives, to do so."
She yawned at him and went back to staring at the clock.
Obi-Wan has to struggle to catch the brief flare of agitation. He thought that explanation was rather on point. "Is there something I said that you disagree with?"
"You assume a Sith loses control," she said with a dismissive sniff, "That a Sith is ruled and controlled by their passions."
Her voice turned harsh. "Ignorant. That is not what a Sith IS."
He gave her an honestly puzzled look. "You're going to have to explain it to be then, because that's exactly what I think a Sith is."
Siri snickered, but it wasn't an amused one, it was dark, hissing. "A Sith rules their passions, owns them, controls them, aims them, draws power from them. Letting them run free would get us revealed or killed very easily. Sometimes we let them loose to vent the buildup if we can not maintain it, or just to satisfy ourselves, occasionally we may lose control, but make no mistake, our emotions belong to us, not the other way around."
Obi-Wan thinks back to Bruck, thinks back to Xanatos, and says quietly, "And that's what differentiates you from normal Dark Jedi."
Siri seems pleased that he understood the difference. "Yes."
Obi-Wan... really isn't sure what to do with this information, aside from argue. "If I understands it right, emotions are a source of power, a weapon and tool for the Sith, rather than part of their being. Isn't that just as unnatural as you'd accuse a Jedi of being?"
She looks down from the clock, confused. "Excuse me?"
"Jedi you accuse of being emotionless machines," he said, "Sith however you are making to weaponize their emotions, rather than a natural part of them."
She wrinkles her nose at him.
"Its true though, isn't it?" he asked, he had a feeling about this, "You still deny yourself emotions, only using ones you deem useful, and only as weapons rather than how normal sentients simply feel theirs. How is that any more natural that what the Jedi do?"
She gritted her teeth. "A Jedi lecturing me about not using emotions is, at best, hypocritical, and leaves much to be desired."
"If you can yell at me for sidestepping an issue, you better believe I'll do the same for you," he said pointedly.
She looked away for a long moment. "I had thought about it once, trying to use other emotions for power, or as the focus of my meditation. Never went through with it and bothered. It... wasn't what Sidious had instructed, and anything like grief or doubt or guilt sapped at my power when I felt them, so... I just never tried. Figured there was a reason no recorded Sith had used other emotions."
Considering how love had disrupted her out of that dark and twisted state, he had a hunch positive emotions literally weakened the Dark Side. Though academically he wondered if that was as a whole for all darksiders, for the Sith, or for specifically whatever Siri had become at that moment in Naboo. He didn't quite know. She still hadn't answered about whether it was unnatural or not. He wondered if she had ever actually considered it before...
Surprisingly, he doesn't have to prod her a second time. "Maybe it is unnatural. But a Sith is a constant, changing entity. We will do what we must to achieve our goal, regardless if it is beyond nature."
"Right, your goal," he said flatly, "Killing all the Jedi."
Siri shrugged. "If you say so."
Obi-Wan's breathing hitched slightly. "You don't... care about that?"
"It's more Sidious's thing than mine; I care about cleaning up this shithole of a galaxy, bringing order to the chaos, destroying the corruption that plagues it, wiping clean the Republic and creating a prosperous and lasting empire, my empire," she said hungrily before growing dismissive, "The Jedi most likely would stand in the way of that, wouldn't have the will, the vision, the strength, to do what is necessary. I don't particularly care either way if they live or die, it's nothing personal."
On one hand, he should be relieved shes not hell-bent on destroying the Jedi. On the other hand... galactic domination. If there ever was a key Sith trait according to history, that was it. Not to mention how... nonchalant she is about the potential destruction of the Jedi, she's not for or against it. Had she stayed loose, and got into a position to dominate, if they got in her way, she'd destroy them. No no, focus on the positives, if she wasn't frothing at the mouth to kill Jedi like the Sith of old were implied to, as her Master wants to, he'll be much better off in this effort.
"Shesh, you look like you just won the lottery," she said with a tinge of disgust in her tone, "Wipe that look off your face Obi-Wan."
He scowled at her. "I can't be happy that you're not specifically out to butcher my family?"
Something passed across her face. "The Jedi aren't your family, you don't know the meaning of that word."
He could argue that all day long, but he settled with, "And you do?"
"Better than you," she shot back, "I've watched families from afar before, Obi-Wan, neither of us have had anything like that. At best, we're part of two separate cults."
He had a rebuttal forming on his lips, but... the envy, jealousy, desire and longing written so clearly on her face and in her eyes killed it; her words were made to be cutting, but all he took from that was she had went out of her way to see what a family of normal people looked like. It turned his reply soft instead. "There are many different kinds of family, Siri. Maybe its not as you'd define it, but to me, the Jedi are mine. Can you honestly say the Sith are yours?"
She averts her eyes back to the clock, lips tight together, not answering.
He considered that a win though, because there's no way family tortures one another like the Sith do.
"Through strength, I gain power," he muttered, "That's... a rather redundant line, isn't it?"
"I don't know, is it?" she retorts in a clipped tone.
"I'm assuming you differentiates strength and power," he said, "What do they mean to you?"
Siri sighed softly. "In basic terms for your feeble Jedi mind, strength is personal, power is what is used over others."
"Well you're feeling nasty again," he said offhandedly.
"I'm a nasty person," she answered snidely.
"I see that."
She huffed, but didn't respond.
"Through power, I gain victory," he sounded out, "Is fairly self-evident unless there's a hidden meaning...?"
"Not in particular, it depends on what kind of victory you're thinking about," she answered, "Sometimes, that victory can be more symbolic than physical."
"How so?"
She just shook her head, refusing to answer.
Obi-Wan figured he wasn't going to honestly get much more out of her this visit, but, he'd at least finish that code of hers. "Through victory, my chains are broken. What kind of chains?"
"If you ask Sidious," she said quietly, "What happened on Naboo would be an example of this. When I broke free of my last chain, and made to sever it."
Obi-Wan went silent for a long moment. "Me? You view me as a chain?!"
She shrugged. "You hold me back Obi-Wan, there's not a question in the matter. The only decision is if I wear that chain willingly or not."
"Caring for other people ISN'T a chain," he can't help but get heated, because this is wrong, he is not a chain, he is not some kind of slave collar, that she would even think that threatens to send him into a spiral he doesn't know if he'll come out of without hours of meditation, "Everyone has darkness in them Siri, a potential monster within. This line of your code I take as nothing more than breaking the chains on that monster and letting it out."
"If you're going to badmouth my code without even trying to understand it, get out," she snarled.
"The Force shall free me," he said flatly, "What will the Dark Side free you of? Compassion? Care? Love? Being a good person? Congratulations Siri, it looks like it's worked so far."
She's glaring at him full force, slowly standing up from her bed, body tense with fury.
He points a finger at her, angry, hurt, not able to keep either out of his voice, "I am perhaps one of the last people alive who truly cares for you. I NOT a chain Siri. Don't you ever call me that again."
Her fury ebbs, and a hesitant look crossed her face. "Obi-Wan... I..."
He turns to the door. "I think that's enough, we're not going to be able to continue today without wounding eachother. We'll pick this back up another time with cooler heads. Enjoy the clock."
He storms out, ignoring the guards, ignoring any Jedi he passes in the halls, ignoring his own Master when the man gives him a questioning nudge down their bond. He retreats to his quarters, kneels down on the floor, and pushes himself desperately into meditation to release the bungle of emotions swarming through him...
She shouldn't have asked for the clock.
It makes things so much worse.
Now she's aware of how much time she's losing. She stares at it, drawn in by the soft tick-tick-tick. She blinks, and ten minute are gone. Sometimes twenty, sometimes thirty. Yet she can't help but be lulled into that soft sound, the only thing not of her own making that isn't the annoying hum of the force fields serving as her door. It's an all-consuming mechanical entity. Was it better losing herself to blankness than...
"There are many different kinds of family, Siri. Maybe its not as you'd define it, but to me, the Jedi are mine. Can you honestly say the Sith are yours?
Than that? She didn't know.
She growled under her breath, and for the hell of it, tried. Sidious as the sadistic possessive father. Plaguies as the sadistic critical grandfather. Zannah as the crazy dead-but-kinda-not aunt, the ghosts of Korriban as distant snide relatives, Bane's holocron as the omnipresent family member whose legacy everyone had to live up to who would kill you if you were found wanting, Maul as...
No, he doesn't get included.
She wrinkled her nose in distaste. She'd give Obi-Wan the win on this one. Zannah... maybe counted, but it was hard to tell sometimes. Kriffing hell, she tried to body jack Siri the first time they met, though, Siri would admit she was being pitiful at the time and maybe deserved it. She sighed to herself and tried to wrench her eyes away from the clock, staring at a wall...
Tick-tick-tick...
Siri blinked, staring at the clock, finding herself an hour later. She pulled her legs up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, aching for the feel of the Dark Side to wrap and hide herself in...
"What will the Dark Side free you of? Compassion? Care? Love? Being a good person? Congratulations Siri, it looks like it's worked so far."
Siri growled, went for the clock, ripped it off the wall, and chucked it at the force field, only for it to bounce back and conk her upside the head. She staggered a bit, swearing under her breath and rubbing her forehead. Guess that answered if it were a ray shield or not, woulda fried the clock of it was. She grabbed the clock and tossed it into the far corner of the fresher room, moving back to her bed. There was still the faintest tick-tick-tick echoing in her ears, earning a twitch from her.
"What will the Dark Side free you of?"
"Shut up Obi-Wan," she hissed quietly to herself, "It... it'll free me from Sidious... or it would have if I wasn't stuck in this damn cell."
"Compassion? Care? Love?"
She gritted her teeth, covering her ears, trying to drown out his voice.
"Congratulations Siri, it looks like it's worked so far."
Siri got up, grabbed the bottom of her bed, and tried to rip it off the floor to throw across the room with all her strength. She cringed instead when it only served to almost pull her arms out of her sockets. Of course they'd kriffing bolt it to the floor. Karking Jedi. She ran a hand through her hair, breathing shakily.
"it looks like it's worked so far."
She screamed in rage, running to pound a fist into the wall over and over again, the pain a blissful, bloody release. Which, she regretted after the brief moment of rage had passed, now she just had an painfully throbbing hand. She went to the fresher and ran it under water...
Tick-tick-tick...
She closed her eyes and pressed her forehead against the wall, stress bleeding into her voice. "It would have been kinder to kill me..."
The first thing the Jedi did when he walked in the following morning (she assumed it was the next day) was ask, "Where did your pillow and the clock go?"
"The pillow is in the fresher smothering the clock."
Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow at her, she returned the look with the universal 'kriff you' symbol. "Do you want me to come back lat..."
"NO!" she bolted upright, unable to keep the panic off her face before she swallowed and tried a more even, "No."
He looked at her with unguarded concern before his eyes flickered to her hand. "What happened there?"
"An unfortunate accident with the wall," she said flatly.
"I see," he said, lips tight, "Do you want a medkit?"
"No," she growled out, tensing.
He took a step back and held up his hands defensively. "Okay, okay. If you're not in the mood..."
"Just... just sit in your spot," she said shakily, "No... no kriffing talks, just... just..."
She bowed her head, struggling with herself. She needed to get out of here, needed to get out of here...
She tensed when the bed shifted, her eyes flickering to see Obi-Wan hesitatingly sitting down next to her, scooting to press his back against the wall. She swallowed a bit, fighting the urge to do the same successfully for about thirty seconds before she succumbed, back pressed against the wall, shoulders brushing his. She closed her eyes and took in a shaky breath, letting it out, just... just trying to steady herself.
"An accident," he said mildly, "Is that what you call that red smear on the wall over there?"
"Shut up Obi-Wan," she growled under her breath, and considered it a blessing when he did.
They sat there in silence for awhile, the only sound their breathing, one far more steady then the other...
She blinked awake sometime later when she felt a pained throb in her hand and a prick of something being injected into it, hissing and opening her eyes to see Obi-Wan standing in front of her, pulling a small painkiller away, an open med kit on her bed. She yanked her hand away and glared at him.
"Ah, awake I see," he said.
"Obviously," she growled out.
"Hand please."
"I can treat myself."
"Mhm, of course you can," he said flatly, "When's the last time you used a healing trance again? Master Che implied its been awhile if all the trace chemicals and toxins she found in you was any indication."
Siri chose not to answer that.
"Hand please," he said again.
She scowled and held it out, watching as he gently pulled out a light bacta-patch, wrapped it over her knuckles, and then bandaged the hand. She... stared at the process with a blank look, not sure how to process what he was doing. It was so simple, but...
"What?" he asked.
"Nothing," she muttered, "Just... can't remember the last time anyone..."
She trailed off.
The last time anyone who wasn't a clinical med-droid had ever personally taken care of her (Master Ur Manka her mind whispers, but she shoves the thought away, he betrayed her). Judging by the look on his face, she didn't need to finish that sentence anyway. There was a cloud of brief anger on his face followed by sadness and grief. She yelped when he pulled her into a hug. "I'm so sorry Siri."
She froze up for a moment before squeaking out, "Let go."
He just pulled her in tighter. She struggled against him, trying to shove him away. "L-let go!"
Obi-Wan sighed, but obeyed. "Why is compassion so repulsive to you Siri?"
"Because," she snarled, scooting away from him, "I'm not weak enough to need it."
He gave her a patient look that made her want to slash it off his face. "Compassion is not dependent on someone being weak or strong, it is freely given by those who feel it for others. I've know so little of your time as a Sith, but what I've learned thus far is horrifying to me. I wouldn't wish it on anyone."
"Not just anyone is strong enough to endure it," she spat out.
"Survive seems a more apt word," he said mildly.
"Semantics."
"It's really not," he countered before closing his eyes and sighing. "Just take what's offered Siri, its been lacking from your life far to much from the last eight years."
She sneered at him. "Because Jedi are all hugs with one another?"
Obi-Wan's mouth twitches into a smile.
She stands up off the bed, making him step back as she points a finger at him. "Qui-Gon Jinn does not count!"
"That's unfair!"
"Life's unfair, deal with it."
"Jedi offer comfort to one another in plenty of ways Siri," he said pointedly, "Perhaps you've merely forgotten since you insisted on not fixing your head."
She groaned. "Are we discussing this again?"
"A soft brush of shoulders, meditating together, asking one another to spar to distract us from our sufferings or to alleviate emotions, sitting by our bed if we are in the halls of healing or ill in our quarters, is any of this familiar Siri?" he asked, "Or should I go on?"
"Must everything you say be an argument?"
"Coming from the Sith whose order relishes conflict?"
Siri's mouth snapped shit. That clever son of a bitch...
He gave her a well-pleased smile, it was charming really.
She punched him in the face.
She couldn't help it.
He staggered back and clutched his nose, his voice wheezing through his fingers, "Siri!"
"You asked for it Kenobi," she said, not an ounce of shame or guilt in her at all for that one, "Egging on a Sith is a terrible idea."
It appeared she had found an absolutely marvelous way to win an argument with him.
"I fink you brovk my nosh," he said, a whine to his voice.
"Well it's a good thing there's a med kit in here, isn't there?" she said, moving over to grab, a deviously-delighted smile crossing her face, "Sit down."
He gave her a wary look, but did so.
"I might have to set your nose first, but don't worry Obi-Wan," she said, putting as charming a look as she could on her face, "I'll be 'gentle' and 'compassionate'."
CRACK
"OWW! Siri! That's NOT gentle!"
"For a Sith it is, stop whining you big baby, here, let me get the painkiller and jab it in."
"No no no I heard that tone! You keep that needle well away from me Siri Tachi!"
"Careful Jedi, fear leads to the Dark Side."
"You are a spiteful, spiteful woman."
"I know."
Author's Notes: 1 or 2 more of these I think before the trial barges in and interrupts Obi-Wan's work. (Might be minor time skips in the next 2 if I don't want to stretch the Guide chapter duration out longer to allow for more exposure to the cell).
Review Responses:
1saa: It'll get worse for Siri, and have an actual impact on the outcome of the trial. TBH, I could make an entire 'book' out of the guide section if I wanted to. But... I think 1 or 2 more chapters. I want Obi-Wan to get a bit more of Siri's past out of her, but I plan to end it before he can get to discussing Siolo Ur Manka with her. When they discuss that, I want Siri out of the cell, feeling the Force, same with Obi-Wan.
Shadow Walker of Fire: Hmmm... would have been more useful to bring that up last chapter, it is something to potentially use later on maybe.
SwordoftheMorning: (Potential spoilers) There will be plenty of Siri interactions with Jedi after the Trial chapters
Nerdman3000: (Potential spoiler if you can read between the lines and guess). Dooku meeting Zannah depends how you define Zannah.