Chapter Four: In All External Grace You Have Some Part
It had been two weeks since Spike's torture at the hands of Glory and Caleb. The vampire was still bed-ridden, his arm almost healed but his legs still unable to be put to use. After some deliberation (and protestation on Xander's part), Buffy had opted to have the Cockney stay in her home, knowing it was better to keep him in one place instead of moving him to his crypt.
Luna had taken Giles up on his offer to stay at his apartment. The newest Summers was still unable to get Buffy to trust her but figured that would change in a few more months. As for the Scoobies, she and Tara got along wonderfully, both of them on the outer edges of the Slayer's circle. Anya also became a friend of Luna's while Willow and Xander opted to keep away from the girl, figuring it would be better for Buffy.
It was a Friday afternoon and Tara was sitting in the living room, discussing certain magical elements with Luna when a shriek came from upstairs. The two young women ran up the stairs to find Willow standing in the door to Buffy's room and pointing with wide eyes. At the sight of the naked young woman, Luna said, "I had a feeling you were kinky Rosenberg but damn..." as the nude female twitched, her eyes wide in her face.
"Willow?" Tara said surprise and bemusement written in her voice. "Who...?"
"Amy," Willow managed with a squeak. "She's...I was trying too..."
"Amy?" Luna repeated then blinked. "Oh, right. The rat. Forgot for a minute there."
Willow stared at the Seer for a moment then frowned. Amy twitched again and said, "Um...can I get some clothes?" as Buffy came out of Joyce's room, holding two mugs. She paused long enough to look in the room and said, "Amy?"
"Hi Buffy," Amy waved meekly. "Um...I like your hair."
"Why is Amy naked?" Buffy demanded as she shoved the mugs into Tara's hands. She entered the room and grabbed her robe, handing it to the girl who took it gratefully. Willow waved her hands and said, "I was trying to make her back into a girl and there she was..."
"I...what's going on?" Amy asked. "I mean, how long have I...?"
"A long time," Buffy replied briskly. "Wills?"
"Oh!" Willow started. "Sure, um, well, Amy..."
As Willow began to explain what had happened since she'd been turned into a rat, Buffy, Tara, and Luna all went back downstairs. The latter going straight to the bowl she'd left since Spike's rescue. She dipped a hand inside and reached into her pocket, pulling out some herbs. Crushing them in her hand, she poured them into the bowl, her skin glowing silver slightly.
The front door opened just as she finished and Dawn bounced into the room, Xander and Anya at her heels. Smiling at the ex-demon, Luna said, "I'm surprised the shop's closed."
"I decided I could afford the afternoon," Anya informed her. "After all, I make enough money to support myself and Xander if need be."
Luna chuckled and glanced up, meeting Xander's gaze. "Hey Xander," she said with a tiny smile but it faded as he mumbled a greeting, leaving the room. She sighed and Anya said, "I think it's very rude of him to be that way with you but he won't listen to me."
"It's fine Anya," Luna smiled at the girl. "I wasn't expecting them to welcome me with open arms."
"But you were expecting something," Anya pointed out. "I'm sure Buffy will trust you eventually."
"I know she will," Luna replied as she watched her sister in the dining room. "I just..."
"Wish she would hurry up?" Anya guessed with a grin. Luna laughed at that and said, "Yeah. So, tell me, what happened at the shop today?"
As Anya began to tell her about a customer with a very annoying little dog, Luna didn't notice the glances being tossed her way by the three Scoobies. Tara watched from the kitchen and shook her head at the irritation in Xander's eyes. Leaving the kitchen, she joined the other two in the living room and smiled as Dawn came down, excitement written on her face.
Meanwhile, Willow, Xander, and Buffy had moved into the kitchen. Xander rubbed a hand across his face as he said, "Sorry about Anya Buff. She can't seem to get that Luna's not our friend."
"It's fine," Buffy said as she washed the cups she'd use to feed Spike. "It doesn't bother me."
"Buffy," Willow said with a frown. "You can be honest with us. Really."
Amy entered the kitchen and Xander started, having already been told about her return but unable to not gape at the girl. She stopped and said awkwardly, "Hey Xander."
"Amy!" Xander said stunned. "Hi. Don't you look...human?"
Buffy winced at the inane comment but didn't turn around as Willow made Amy some food and sat with her. Drying the two mugs, she started as Xander said, his voice flat, "Deadboy Junior upstairs?"
"I'm not doing this with you Xander," Buffy said tightly as she moved over to the fridge. Opening the freezer, she pulled out a bag of frozen buffalo wings and began to prepare a pan. Sliding them into the oven, she turned it up to three-seventy-five and sighed wearily as Xander said, "Well, I don't know why you don't just dump him in his crypt. I doubt he didn't spill."
"He didn't," she said wearily. "Will did a truth spell and Tara did too. Plus, Luna said he was telling the truth."
"And Luna's so trustworthy?"
"Xander," Buffy said spinning to face him. "I know you don't like Spike. I've heard you bitch about it for years. I've listened to your complaining for two weeks straight. I'm tired. I'm sick of you saying the same thing over again. So quit would you?"
"He's going to cut everyone's throat and then you'll be sorry," Xander argued as Dawn entered. She paused long enough to say, "Is he complaining about Spike again?" as she went to the cupboard and pulled out some chips. Buffy mumbled something in reply and sat down, propping her chin up in her hand.
Xander narrowed his gaze at the oven and said, "Who are the wings for?"
"Spike," Buffy said wearily. "He likes them and I promised to bring him some. And if you say anything..."
"Just want to say I don't remember you being this nice to Riley," Xander snipped. "When he was sick..."
"Spike isn't sick Xander," Buffy snapped her temper finally snapping. "He's been tortured because Glory and her friend thought that he knew who the Key was. And he didn't say a word. A lesser man would have spilled within five minutes."
"He's not a man," Xander mumbled and Buffy narrowed her eyes as she said, "You know what? I'm tired of this. Get out Xan. Get out and stay out until you can learn to accept that I am not your girlfriend or daughter or sister. I am my own person and I can decide who the hell it is that I will speak too."
At the sound of the oven beeping, Buffy marched over and pulled out the wings, piling them on a plate. Pouring two glasses of soda, she snatched some napkins from the counter and left the kitchen. Dawn and Willow both stared at Xander who was staring at the counter, his face blank. Shaking her head, Dawn left the room as Willow said quietly, "She'll forgive you Xander. I know she will..."
"Yeah," Xander said after a second. "Yeah. I think I'll go though, all right Wills?"
As she watched Xander leave, Willow felt herself grow sad and sighed heavily as Amy said hesitantly, "Who's Spike?" causing the redhead to stare at her blankly because she had honestly forgotten the former rat was there.
- -
She paused as she opened the door and arched her brow as she watched Spike struggle with his t-shirt. His abdominal muscles worked beneath pale white skin as he cursed at the shirt and finally threw it on the floor, irritation written on his face. Shaking her head, Buffy said, "Why don't you just wear your red shirt?"
"S'in the wash," Spike mumbled as the Slayer placed the plate of wings on a tray, along with the soda. He brightened at the smell of the wings and began to eat happily, Buffy taking one and nibbling on it delicately.
The tentative friendship they had struck up the night he'd been brought to her house was going on strong. Spike hoped that would keep Buffy from believing that he was unable to feel but had the feeling she was still hesitant to believe his wanting to change. Glancing over at the Slayer, he studied the color of her hair and eyes, smiling as she licked her fingers clean of the sauce on the wings.
"What?" Buffy blushed as she realized Spike was watching her eat. Despite her being friends with the vampire, she had to admit that Spike was the best-looking male she had ever seen. Even when they'd first met, she'd thought to herself he was a gorgeous creature and then been disappointed when he'd said he would kill her.
"Nothing pet," he sighed and asked, "Think you could bring me some reading material? S'bloody boring sitting and sleeping all the time..."
"I'll have Dawn bring you some stuff," Buffy got to her feet, stretching her arms above her head. "It's time for me to hit the pavement."
"For what?"
"Job hunting," she said wearily. "I've got to find some place to work to pay for bills and such. Mom's insurance won't last forever and Dawn needs food..."
"I've got some dosh in my wallet," Spike said hesitantly. "S'not much but take it."
"Spike-"
"Take it Slayer," he said quietly, blue eyes boring into hazel. "Your Mum...I promised her I'd do what I could to help you and I don't break my promises."
"You came back when you said you wouldn't," Buffy reminded him. "That's breaking one."
"I didn't promise," he grinned at her, tongue curling behind his teeth. "I agreed. Different thing entirely."
Buffy rolled her eyes. "Why do I bother?" she demanded as she threw her hands up and left the room. Spike's laughter trailed after her and the Slayer's heart warmed at the sound. Since his staying at the house, she'd begun to see a different side to him: a gentle, teasing side that made Dawn laugh and smile in a way that had stopped after their mom had passed away...
Buffy paused as she studied the long-sleeved shirt in her hands. She remembered her mother standing at the counter, laughing as she told a story, and she remembered how she'd seen Spike sitting on the counter, his dark blue eyes filled with laughter and affection as he listened to her mother...
"What was she like?"
The question startled her and Buffy turned to see Luna standing in the hall, hands shoved into her jean pockets. The younger girl was standing, shoulders hunched up around her face, the navy blue hooded sweatshirt she wore harsh against her face. Buffy cleared her throat and said, "What?"
"What was your mom like?" Luna repeated, her eyes filled with curiosity and something that made Buffy ache in her heart of hearts. "I mean, I get flashes. From you. And Dawn. And everybody else. But...what was she really like?"
Buffy looked down at the shirt in her hands, the white color crisp against her hands. "Mom was funny and kind," she said after a moment. "She always knew what to say and what to do. She never...got angry with me about being the Slayer. She just accepted it..."
"After she threw you out?" Luna said with an arched brow.
Buffy laughed at the reminder. "Yeah," she said. "After she threw me out, she accepted it. I don't think she got it sometimes but...she accepted it..."
"Must be nice," Luna said in a tone that had Buffy looking up at her sharply. "To have a mom that doesn't judge you because you're different. Doesn't...hurt you because you see the things she'll do and you warn her and you scare her and her friends away..."
Luna leaned against the frame, her body slouched over in a way that made her seem small and fragile. "Must've been nice," she whispered as she looked at Buffy with haunted eyes. "To have a mom that loved you, even though you were different."
"Luna-" Buffy stopped, unsure of what to say. "I-"
"Um," Luna took a deep breath. "I'm gonna go and do some stuff. Rupert wanted to meet at the Magic Box. Tell Dawn I'll see her later..."
"Sure," Buffy nodded a lump in her throat. "I'll let her know."
"Thanks," Luna turned on her heel and paused, looking over her shoulder, eyes suspiciously bright. "I wish I could've had a mom like her. I think I...would've liked it." And she was gone, a shimmer of silver light in her place. Buffy took a deep breath, tears brimming her eyes as she sank onto her bed, the shirt clutched in her hands.
- -
Spike looked up as Dawn entered the room, smiling at the books she had in her hands. Chuckling, he said, "Did you clean out the library Bit?"
"No," Dawn huffed as she stacked them on the night stand. "I just didn't know what you wanted so I got a little of everything!"
"Is that poetry?" Spike asked squinting at the pile of books. Dawn grinned at him and said, "I figured you'd read to me."
"Oh, you did, did you?" Spike mocked her and chuckled as he reached for it, letting out a hiss at the pain in his arm. "Balls..."
"Here," Dawn plucked the book out of the pile and sat down next to him on the bed. Curling to his good side, she opened it up and said, "I'll hold it and turn the pages and you pick the poem."
"All right then," Spike smiled and said, "Ah, that's a good one!"
Dawn brightened and said, "Okay! Read!"
"Pushy little chit aren't you?" Spike teased her and she giggled as the door opened a crack, Buffy peering in through the slit. Spike tilted his head to the side but didn't look as he cleared his throat and began to read.
"Now air is air and thing is thing: no bliss
of heavenly earth beguiles our spirits, whose
miraculously disenchanted eyes
live the magnificent honesty of space.
Mountains are mountains now; skies now are skies–
and such a sharpening freedom lifts our blood
as if whole supreme this complete doubtless
universe we'd (and we alone had) made
–yes; or as if our souls, awakened from
summer's green trance, would not adventure soon
a deeper magic: that white sleep wherein
all human curiosity we'll spend
(gladly, as lovers must) immortal and
the courage to receive time's mightiest dream..."
As Spike finished, Buffy let out the breath she'd been holding, her eyes wide as she watched her little sister smile and say, "I like that, who's it by?"
"E.E. Cummings," Spike replied. "Great writer of his time, real revolutionary..."
Buffy slipped away from the door, her mind and heart racing as she went downstairs in a daze. The poem had been one she'd read in high school and she knew then that it had her thinking of Angel but now...
Spike's voice, she shivered at the reminder as she left the house. His voice had been smooth and cultured and just...
Silk.
Soft.
She rubbed her arms briskly and kept walking.
- -
Tara looked up as Willow entered the room, her eyes bright as she said, "Amy's back with her dad and she's happy. I think I might help her readjust with being back, maybe do a spell to help her balance out her energies?"
Tara felt a small frown cross her face but merely said, "I don't know Willow. Magic can do some strange things with people, especially if they've been covered in it..."
"Oh, I know what I'm doing," Willow said airily as she sat down on the bed. "Don't worry baby."
Tara narrowed her gaze at her and said carefully, "Uh-huh. Right. Um, how's Xander?"
Willow frowned and sighed heavily as she laid down on her stomach, propping her chin up in her hands. "I don't know why Buffy's being so defensive," she said. "I mean, I get that Spike was protecting Dawnie, I do but I don't know. I guess I thought she'd listen to her friends more..."
"Xander doesn't do a lot of listening either," Tara pointed out gently. "He pretty much just yells. A lot."
"I know," Willow sighed. "And I've told him we can't have Buffy feeling like we judge her. We need her to know that we support her but she makes so many decisions that blow up in her face Tara. I don't want her to get hurt."
"Buffy is the Slayer, Willow," Tara said quietly. "She's used to making decisions that'll hurt her. And she sees the bigger picture. I know Xander thinks he's got some sort of claim on her, being her friend and all but-"
"Xander doesn't think of Buffy as property!" Willow said horrified. "God, no Tara! He just...he's concerned and he worries and I just wish I could make it better." She sighed and said, "I mean, I know you don't know Buffy and Xander as well as I do and they're my friends and I just-"
"Your friends?" Tara said hurt creeping into her voice. "Oh, I get it. Since I'm not really Buffy or Xander's friend, like Anya, my opinion doesn't count?"
"No!" Willow cried as she sat up. "God, Tara, no! That's not it at all!"
"Isn't it?" Tara asked as she got to her feet and glared at her. "I mean, I know I haven't known any of your friends that long and I know that I don't really talk to them much but I thought that I could count them as my friends, Willow!"
"Tara, sweetie," Willow said soothingly. "I didn't mean that you aren't Buffy and Xander's friend, I just meant that-"
"Because you've known them longer," Tara finished for her. "You know them better? That's...God, Willow, that's just ridiculous!"
"Tara-"
"And I think it's mean of you and Xander to be so rude to Luna," Tara added angrily. "She's so lost and confused and you two aren't helping!"
Jealousy flickered in Willow's eyes and she got to her feet as she said, "Luna isn't anyone's friend Tara! She's just here to...mess with Buffy's head! I don't even think she's really Buffy's sister, either! I think she's just..."
"Pulling magic?" Tara asked. "Doing something with our minds? She's not Willow. She's a really nice girl who's really scared and confused. Just because she has powers doesn't mean she's evil..."
"And you're such an expert?" Willow scoffed. "Yeah, you've only known her for what? A few weeks? Don't be stupid Tara!"
Tara's eyes narrowed and grew icy as she straightened. "Stupid? Excuse me?"
Willow deflated. "I don't want to fight. I just...Tara, please try and understand? I want to help Buffy and Xander be friends again and I don't know how..."
"Maybe you shouldn't help," Tara said icily. "Maybe your help will make it worse Willow, ever think of that?"
Willow looked at the floor. "No."
Tara sighed, her anger deflating. "I'm tired. I think I'll take a shower."
"Can we forget," Willow asked as she watched Tara gather together her bath things. "And...pretend this never happened?"
"Yeah, sure," Tara mumbled. "Whatever."
Willow smiled happily and watched as Tara left the room. Going over to the bureau, she picked up a sprig of lavender and placed it in her palm. "Forget," she murmured as Tara entered the room, saying, "I forgot my soap..."
Watching her for a moment, Willow said hopefully, "We're okay?"
Tara looked up, a smile lighting her face. "Yeah. Why wouldn't we be?"
- -
Luna rubbed her eyes as she entered the room she was staying in. Giles had bid her good night as soon as they'd entered and she had stayed up to watch TV for a few minutes before going to bed. Shedding her clothing, the Seer pulled on a pair of boxers and a t-shirt before crawling into bed. She had joined Buffy for a quick patrol, Giles coming along to see her abilities and fighting skill.
She yawned into the pillow as the days events crowded into her. Closing her eyes, the Seer drifted into sleep, her body turning restlessly as she Saw what could occur if things didn't go to plan...
"Look at that!" the white witch cries and there are things missing from her mind. Things that are important and easy to recall if they are there...
"Look at that! The light!"
Horror fills the air.
"Such pure green energy..."
And the Hellgod takes her.
Luna woke with a gasp, her eyes widening as she shot up in bed. Panting, she pressed a hand to her chest and stared at the wall without really seeing it. Her lips thinned and she looked up at the ceiling, her eyes flickering between silver and hazel as she whispered fiercely, "No. I won't let her be taken..."
The Sight that she remembered from before...
"I won't let Buffy die," she whispered fiercely as she looked up at the ceiling. "I won't, you hear me? I'll stop your stupid plan and stupid ideals. I created you and I can certainly stop a plan of yours..."
Silence and Luna exhaled sharply, shakily as she got to her feet and went to dress.
Next Chapter Five: From Hands of Falsehood...