Angel: Sniffle, the end is near!

Erik: Cry me a river.

Angel: (cries a river).

Erik: I didn't mean literally.

Angel: Well, I hope you're all satisfied with the ending. Enjoy!

XxXxX

Coming Out of the Closet

You know what makes an authoress' day? Logging onto her e-mail and finding her inbox crammed full of review alerts. As an authoress, I love reading reviews… even bad ones! So you can imagine how excited I was when I woke up on Saturday morning… I had gotten eighteen reviews on Thursday morning… twenty-one on Friday morning… and of course, I knew full-well what any reader of fanfiction does on a Friday night… After a long week of school and homework, they get online and review some more! I was expecting my inbox to be overflowing with review alerts.

Damn, why does this all seem so familiar?

I got dressed and left my room to feed Ginger and Cinnamon… As I emerged from my room, I saw my brother.

"Hey Sis," he said. He snorted a bit. "Have a nice sleep?"

"Yeah, I guess," I replied. I was feeling a little suspicious. Adam isn't normally this friendly. "Did you put my hand in a bowl of water again?"

"Nope," he snorted some more. "I didn't do anything, Sis. You're way too paranoid."

I raised a brow at him. Then I simply shrugged and went and fed my cats. Afterwards, I went into my closet. I pushed a few shirts aside and pushed a secret button that only I and one other person know about…

When I pushed the secret button, a secret doorway opened and I passed through a secret tunnel into a secret room… Totally Chronicles of Narnia style!

"Angel, have you ever thought of getting a real life?" a voice called out grumpily as I entered the room.

"No, not really," I replied nonchalantly.

That would be my partner. Erik, the Phantom of the Opera…

Erik was lying stretched across the beat-up leather couch at one end of the small room, remote in hand, channel-surfing on the eighteen-inch screen TV. Typical male. I went over to my desk with my PC and turned it on. While I waited for it to warm up, I went over to the couch where Erik was still channel-surfing.

"What's on?" I asked.

"Star Wars Episode III," he said without looking up from the TV.

"I thought you hated that movie," I said as I pushed his legs off the couch and sat down.

Erik paused. "Yeah, so did I…"

I shot him a look. "So why are you watching it?"

"Why do women always have to make conversation?" he growled. "I'm trying to watch TV!"

"You always watch TV! Why don't you get a hobby?"

"I have one!" he snapped. "I write operas during commercial breaks!"

I paused. "Is it just me, or have we had this conversation before?"

Erik turned back to the TV. "It's just you."

Sighing, I got up from the couch and went over to my PC. After waiting for the crummy dial-up to finally connect to the Internet, I immediately went to hotmail. Tapping my fingers on the desk, I waited while hotmail signed me in.

As I expected, my inbox was overflowing with review alerts. A started skimming through them.

"'Angel, I love you…'" I started reading them out loud. "'Angel, I hate you…' 'Angel, if you write one more crappy chapter I'll hunt you down and gut you like a fish…' Ooh, I wasn't expecting her to review!"

"Must you read out loud?" Erik asked, annoyed. Then he paused. "Is there one for me?"

"Uh, yeah… 'Erik, I love you and will follow you blindly…' 'Erik, you have a very nice bum…' 'Erik, please marry me…'"

Erik raised an eyebrow. "Wasn't expecting her to review… Any popcorn?"

"Yeah, tons," I replied. As I went through my reviews, I started coming upon some very strange ones.

"'Dear Angel, don't worry, we'll think of a way to get you out of that closet…' That's strange. I wonder what would make them think that I need out of here?"

"Maybe someone finally picked up that SOS I sent out," Erik suggested with a smirk.

"Ha, ha, very funny," I said. I was quiet for a while. "Erik?"

"Hmm?"

"Does any of this seem familiar to you?"

Erik scratched his head. "Now that you mention it, I have been experiencing some feelings of déjà vu this morning… I didn't think anything of it though, because I normally do the exact same thing every morning anyways…"

I kept going through the reviews. They were getting stranger by the minute. Sleepovers? Star Wars marathons? Fop-dolls? Squirrels? Dracula? Asking permission to kiss Gerard Butler?

And a torture chamber?

"Erik," I said. "You wouldn't happen to know about a Chair of Impending Doom, would you?"

Erik got this panicked look on his face. Then he quickly composed himself. "No. Of course not. Why do you ask?"

"Someone named Don Juanita keeps asking about it."

Erik picked up a copy of The Daily Phantom and started reading. "She's probably just crazy. Like you."

I rolled my eyes and continued to read. "There's a lot of really random stuff in here," I said. "Something about me and you being stuck in the closet and strange things coming through my PC monitor… As if that were even physically possible!" I paused. "I wonder how'd they fit through it, though…"

I was almost done reading the reviews. They were not at all what I was expecting to read, but I had to admit that they were rather amusing. Then something sitting on the edge of my desk caught my eye. I reached over and picked it up.

It appeared to be a mushroom smoothie.

I looked over at Erik. "Erik?"

"What?"

"Is this yours?"

Erik looked over at the glass in my hands. He made a face. "Ew, no. It looks disgusting!"

I was silent for a long time. "Erik?"

"What is it now?" he snapped.

"Do you think there might be a grain of truth to some of these crazy reviews?"

Erik rolled his eyes. "Of course not! Like I said, your friends are just as crazy as you are!"

I put the smoothie back on my desk. "I guess you're right… But it would make a great fic, don't you agree?"

Erik didn't look up from his newspaper. "Whatever," he mumbled.

"I think I'll write one," I said as I closed down hotmail.

Erik looked up at me. "I guess that means you're going to be in here for the next five hours, huh?"

"Sure am," I replied as I opened up my Word program.

Erik rolled his eyes. "Great. Will you keep it down, at least?"

I looked at Erik with a grin. "Come now, Erik… You know not to talk to me while I'm writing… You'll throw off my groove!"

Erik smirked and went back to his reading. "Whatever you say, Angel…"

Laughing to myself, I turned back to my PC and started to type.

THE END

XxXxX

For Tadriendra of Mirkwood: As I was typing Hector and Achilles streaked by. "Achilles!" Hector screamed. "That's the last time I go drinking with you!"

THE END

Angel: Sob!

Erik: I find it ironic how, in the end, you're still in the closet.

Angel: I didn't want it to end!

Erik: All good things must come to an end, my dear.

Angel: Well, we want to thank all of you loyal readers out there who helped us write this. It was really fun, and we hope you enjoyed it as much as we did. This has been great guys. I love you all! God bless!