Disclaimer: I don't own High School Musical or the song "How Do You Get That Lonely" by Blaine Larsen.
One Shot, Songfic
Gabriella sat in her room, finishing the last bit of her geometry homework before heading to the bus. She wasn't one to be finishing homework in the morning, but she had had such a bad day yesterday. It was a complete disaster! She was new at East High and everyone had told her she'd be fine.
How wrong they were!
The varsity basketball team had thought it would be funny to dump a tray of food on her at lunch. She figured that they did it to every newcomer because the school seemed to be full of cliques. But what hurt her most was that the captain's girlfriend, a girl who had pretended to be her friend and show her around, laughed as they did it. But, what do you expect from a girl named after a dog?
"Gabriella! You're going to be late!"
She sighed while she put her book in her backpack. Another day of torture from the basketball team most likely.
But she was surprised, most of the day went by uneventfully. Sharpay and her friends laughed at her about yesterday and the basketball boys pointed at her. But she noticed that their captain seemed distant, even as his little dog-named girlfriend giggled madly in front of him.
Gabriella began watching him, over analyzing him. He didn't pay attention, he didn't seem to care. She was fascinated for some reason by his odd behavior. At her other schools, the jocks seemed full of energy, full of team spirit, full of themselves. But this boy...it didn't make sense, it didn't go with her theory that all jocks were loud-mouth jerks.
Ms. Darbus had given her a seat right behind him and she watched him carefully. He seemed to notice this and turned around. "Are you new?"
"Yeah," she said extending her hand. "Gabriella Montez."
The boy went in to shake it, but as he did, his sleeve moved up a little bit. She saw a red line, a cut, on his wrist. He quickly pushed his sleeve down. "Troy Bolton. I'm sorry about the food thing yesterday."
"Forget about, it was nothing," she lied, still focused on his arm.
"Look, what we did to you wasn't nothing. I'm sorry," he said finishing quickly so he could turn to the front. A note flew on to Gabriella's desk. "Don't tell anyone."
She took a deep breath and wondered if this ever happened at her old schools, or if she just ignored it and lived in her perfect dream world.
It was just another story printed on the second page
Underneath the Tiger's football score
It said he was only eighteen, a boy about my age
They found him face down on his bedroom floor
Gabriella lived with Troy's secret for the entire weekend. But it wasn't that she forgot about it, it was always in her mind. But what was she going to do? She was the freaky math girl, he was the popular, handsome, jock. She woke up with a start on Monday morning. She had had the same nightmare every night since she saw Troy's cut wrist. Troy would be in it, he's cut his hand off and the blood would leave him very slowly until he was lifeless.
She got ready and went down stairs very quickly. Her mother was down there reading the newspaper. "Honey," she said. "I'll make you some breakfast." She put down the paper, as if to tell Gabriella to read it. She walked over, to cure her curiosity and that's when she saw it. Troy Bolton, 18 in the obituaries.
She laughed in her mind, but not a cruel laugh. There was only two obituaries and they were under the high school scores for the week. 'I guess not a lot of people died this weekend,' she thought. Then she read on, but it didn't say a cause of death, just that he died on Saturday night.
But then again, what parent wants to put that their basketball star son killed himself?
There'll be services on Friday at the Lawrence Funeral Home
Then out on Mooresville highway, they'll lay him 'neath a stone
Gabriella walked down the halls, which were almost empty. Most kids decided to not come, but Gabriella's mind was telling her she needed to be there.
But, then again, her mind was also telling her that she killed Troy by not telling anyone.
'Who would have believed me anyway,' Gabriella thought as she walked down the hall toward Ms. Darbus' class.
How do you get that lonely, how do you hurt that bad
To make you make the call, that havin' no life at all
Is better than the life that you had
How do you feel so empty, you want to let it all go
How do you get that lonely…and nobody knows
She was trying to figure out how Troy could have killed himself. Did he just let the blood drain? Did he overdose? Did he pull the trigger? But, the real question was: what was wrong with Troy's life. It seemed so perfect. He was handsome, he was a jock, he had a 4.0 gpa, or at least that's what it said in the obituary. She stopped mid step as she walked down the hall. If he was a jock, his life was pretty much public information. How could no one have known he was feeling suicidal?
Did his girlfriend break up with him, did he buy or steal that gun?
Did he lose a fight with drugs or alcohol?
Did his Mom and Daddy forget to say 'I love you son'?
Did no one see the writing on the wall? I
'm not blamin' anybody, we all do the best we can
I know hindsights 20/20, but I still don't understand
A few weeks later, Sharpay came back. They were still dating when Troy died. Coach Bolton stopped coaching, Chad walked around as if life didn't have a purpose. Gabriella watched their reactions. If Troy had known they would act like this, would he have turned back? Would he have killed himself anyway? All of his friends were blaming themselves. But Troy seemed to know how to hide it. 'Why don't I feel like it's my fault? I knew he was cutting his wrists,' Gabriella thought. 'I just don't understand. Why isn't this like a mathematic equation?'
How do you get that lonely, how do you hurt that bad
To make you make the call, that havin' no life at all
Is better than the life that you had
How do you feel so empty, you want to let it all go
How do you get that lonely…and nobody knows
Gabriella walked around school for the remainder of her senior year, unnoticed by everyone. She watched Troy's friends fall apart. Chad turned to drugs. Sharpay's grades dropped and she stopped doing drama. Was this better than Troy's life? She didn't think so. Had Troy thought about his friends? She didn't know.
The only conclusion she could draw was that he cracked under pressure. Did everyone just turn their head as he cracked?
It was just another story printed on the second page
Underneath the Tiger's football score
Gabriella opened the drawer of her desk and grabbed an envelope. She opened the cover of her yearbook and slipped the envelope in it. Before she shut the book, she opened the envelope and took out the papers that were inside. Troy's obituary, his note to her that Friday before he died... She stood on her balcony. If Troy was so special, then why was his death on the second page under the high school scores? Then she smiled. "That's all he ever wanted...was to be ordinary."
She looked into the sun and vowed to remember Troy and her senior year at East High. "All he ever wanted..."
Tell me what you think. I just was listening to the song and and said, "wow, that would make a good song fic." I've never dealt with suicidal stuff so bear with me.
Review!