8. Communication.
T: See the chapter title? Yep even more psychobabble…last lot I promise!...I own nothing other that the very complex logic and the plot.
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"Why would she cast such a spell and why would you believe it necessary?"
"Your sister had wish to believe that we might figure things out…had want to believe that I would realise the 'truth' of my feelings for you.
"As to the other, the spell was necessary for the completion of my wish and for the realisation of your own."
"My wish has never been to kill you, Seishiro."
"I do not believe you."
"Why? Because you killed Hokuto, because you broke my heart, because you are Sakurazukamori?
"These things are meaningless to my heart, Seishiro and no matter how much I wished to hate you…wished to push the poison of you from my soul…I could not.
"Thus I thought to die by your hand…thought to be of importance to you even for the briefest of instants…
"Yet even that wish has faded in my heart and now I wish only to love and be loved by you."
This, then, had been why Kamui had all but demanded they communicate and why the boy had seemed so very afraid.
Yet now that this truth was aired what was their next step to be? How did they continue on as though everything was 'fine', when in reality it was far from as such?
Subaru places a gentle kiss to his forehead and a sweet smile clear on his lips he remarks,
"I love you, Seishiro and I wish to let that be enough…wish to push away out past and look, instead, to the future."
"Then what of Hokuto's death…of all the other lives I have stolen away?"
"There is only Hokuto between us and it is clear that she has want for us to be together, thus to hate you for her sake would make her death meaningless."
He is aware that at some point he shall have to tell Subaru of the depth of their connection to one another…shall have to tell him that he is to be the next Sakurazukamori…yet, for the moment, he wishes to cling to this happiness and thus, a smile upon his lips, he remarks,
"Then let us think of the future."
……………………………………………………………………………….
Though Kamui was assured of Subaru's mental strength he was also aware of the weakness hidden well by that power.
Thus he has taken Seishiro's request to heart and, despite a desire to do otherwise; he has planned little for day other than to read quietly.
He is jolted from this quite by a knock on the door and, setting his book to one side, he goes to allow his 'visitor' inside.
Subaru does not look as 'obviously' upset as Kamui believed he might and the younger man is certain as to whether this is a positive or negative thing.
"What brings you here, Subaru?"
"I had a wish to clear my head of spells and wards…"
"Is that everything?"
"No and yet I believe you are aware of this fact."
"What makes you think that?"
"Seishiro has always done things in his manner…has always pushed forwards without regard for his actions…
"To suddenly stop doing as such…to suddenly think of talking through his reasoning…such a change in behaviour could only have come about by the influence of another."
"I do not wish you to believe that I was 'interfering', Subaru…"
"You were concerned."
"More than 'concerned', he wished to die by your hand, Subaru and in wishing as such he was looking to shatter your heart."
"Yet my heart is not shattered, Kamui and I believe Seishiro is beginning to comprehend that a wish to live would give me more contentment that a wish to die." Subaru smiles then and it is so very genuine that Kamui can not help but smile in return.
"Seishiro has discussed with me his belief in regards to the other 'Kamui…"
"And?"
"And I thought that you might have wish to discuss it."
He had managed, subtly, to turn Seishiro away from such a discussion and he thinks to do as such with Subaru also.
The hard line of the others lips swiftly convinces him that such an action is ill advised and, his shoulders slumping slightly, he remarks,
"You'd best come and sit down."
Once they are settled onto the sofa he turns to the other an enquires,
"What do you wish me to say, Subaru?"
"I do not 'wish' you to say anything Kamui; I'm merely worried about what this truth means for you."
"If it is, indeed, a 'truth' then it places me in an even more difficult situation that I had been previously.
"For I had hoped that I might push Fuuma free from his darkness…had hoped that once he was free this fight would be over and yet…"
"Such a wish was hopeless for Fuuma fights free from the mask of darkness."
"How can I fight him now knowing this to be the case? How can I hate him when he has done this all for my sake…for the sake of his love for me...?"
"Do you love Fuuma in return?"
The question is a little unexpected and yet, viewing the matter logically, he can understand why Subaru has asked it.
"I love Fuuma as an older brother only."
He can tell, simply for the tightening of the others smile, that Subaru believes that he is hiding from his feelings and, smiling slightly, he informs the other,
"I am not harbouring any delusions in regard to my feelings, Subaru.
"For though it is true that I have, at times, been a little…excessive…about my attachment to Fuuma, this was merely because of my desperate want to have the last of my 'family' again at my side.
"I say as such with confidence doe my heart had been given over to another."
"To whom do you refer?"
"I believe he 'refers' to myself, Sumeragi-san."
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T: Nothing much to say about this chapter…am still resisting the urge to push for reviews…next update Sunday.