"Cara." Blaise's voice held so much emotion. Hermione knew that he could see all of hers but she didn't stop him from turning her around and pulling her to him.
She was having a breakdown and Draco sodding Malfoy was watching from his place by the window. She had come to them as Pansy had told her to do and the conversation hadn't started off at all well. She started by telling them honestly what had happened with Josh. Other than Josh and maybe Rowle, only Pansy knew what she had said to her brother during their visit. Harry and Blaise knew it hadn't gone well but she hadn't said anything to anyone else.
"Zavi." Blaise spoke over the top of her head and she heard the elf pop in. Knew he would be upset because she was and just waited for Blaise to ask him for one of her half dose calming draughts. She downed it when Blaise held it out for her and let him rub her back until it kicked in and helped her calm down.
"Alright. Now, we are going to sit down and speak to each other as we usually do. Without any defensiveness or callous comments. So not how you two usually do. Seriously, and we will hear you out before we respond." Blaise said firmly. The last was directed at Draco and she closed her eyes again.
Counting to ten, she opened her eyes and knew she was alright. Not great but not sobbing and she accepted the handkerchief offered. Then wiped her eyes and moved back to the sofa she had been on before she stood and then went to the window.
Blaise didn't usually sit with her when Draco was here unless it was very comfortable. He didn't like physically placing himself with one of them and they usually laughed at his careful habits. Now though Draco got an eyeful and then she watched him come and sit down too.
"Sorry. I shouldn't have said that." The blond admitted and she met his eyes.
"I shouldn't have gotten so upset. I didn't even let you finish." She responded quietly and Blaise gave each of them an approving look.
"So that's how you left the rock that time, then you did the ritual at Rowle's." Blaise said and she nodded. Draco sat up straight and looked at Blaise, then he looked at her and she could see his surprise. Of course he didn't know about the rituals and she hadn't thought of that.
"There were so many things going on in my mind. Sabrina is graduating this month and then coming home. I'm so glad. Glad to have her for longer than a summer break but she is looking forward some now and more all of the time. She is going in September to see him. I think that is good, it means I might not see him until he gets out though." She wanted to ask them about what Pansy had said. About how Rowle might feel about her and the mess they had gotten themselves into. Some insight and maybe begin thinking about it, what would happen then.
"There are other reasons too. It was easier than the one at the Dale but took far more magic. I can't measure but it was easily discernible to me. The Rites didn't tug as hard, far less than at the Dale and that's promising I think. It pulled at the other magic too. I could feel it. So the Rites can influence other magics and change the results." She finished and Draco was looking at her the way he used to a runes translation before it was broken down. He was good at seeing the bigger picture but not if he didn't understand it's components. She had always been better at Runes, Blaise was good at them too and spent far more time with her.
It was clear the blond didn't understand and she looked at Blaise again, hoping he would help her. She didn't know how to break this down except chronologically and that wasn't something she wanted to do. Draco would be uncomfortable about Lestrange too. Blaise looked thoughtful and gave her a small nod. Then she listened as he calmly explained the pertinent facts and she looked away from Draco's face when he understood.
Blaise wouldn't just say she was made barren by the magics his aunt had tortured her with infront of him but it was all implied and the two of them had been friends for a long time. Then he was looking at her again and she could see nearly nothing except calculation on his face.
Deciding that it was better for Draco to have a few minutes to think about it before she tried to carry on, she thoughtlessly called Zavi and then blushed at doing so in Blaise's house.
"I'm sorry. I wasn't paying attention." Draco wasn't acknowledging her faux pas but still looking at her without really doing so and so she tried not to be embarrassed and quietly asked for tea. Some of Blaise's since that's where they were. It came and with a bottle of plum brandy in a lovely decanter. Luna had found it in the Balkans recently and came home pouring it into everyone's tea cups.
It had been less than comfortable to come here with these questions to ask and they had met her formally at the floo room entrance then come into the study. Now that she thought about it, maybe the note requesting to speak with them at their convenience had been extreme and perhaps alarming. So they were uptight and off kilter, so was she. This led to her wearing a dress and then being in coats, ridiculous.
It rubbed off on you, these stupid formalities and small cues. Got in the way, even as it made some interactions easier. So her shoes were gently kicked off and she pulled her feel under her and was glad she had at least worn a comfortable three quarter sleeve dress and felt better. The tea was good, the brandy probably helped too, and the calming draught.
It all worked together to make her feel far steadier, more so when Blaise stood up to take off his coat. She caught his eye and grinned ruefully. He looked a bit abashed and she knew he had realised what had happened too, or was acknowledging it.
"So you have a healer, a good one, and he agrees with Lovegood that ritual magic is the better route." Draco spoke thoughtfully. She nodded and his eyes caught on hers then. The same grey as his mother and aunt, as Sirius' has been.
"So you set off to find out what you could do about this by doing ritual magic." He surmised and she wasn't sure that was quite right.
"Sort of. No, I was already going to do the harvest ritual at the Dale. Using my pesky virginity for something but it changed when Luna and Healer Sylter agreed. Felt less like potentially fucking myself over for hope and it legitimized it too. No one talks about these magics or does them, even if they respect them." She answered and watched him absently undo his top botton while he held her eyes. Draco liked to do this, seemed to need to see her face to believe. Eye contact was important to him differently than others.
"Alright. So you went to talk to Rowle, having been at his home and done the ritual there. What did the Rites do differently?" Draco asked more forcefully and she knew his mind was working again, felt caught up enough and she relaxed. Maybe he would be upset about the magic later but now he was analyzing the problem and information. The blonde prat was more analytical than her, took things on board easier too, accepted them.
"I had almost no desire to touch myself. I tried at the Dale and it didn't take me two minutes to know it wouldn't work. Like the connections just weren't there. So I read all day, translated a journal from late Norse. The Tower was different though. I stayed there for a while and could feel some things. Like I knew it would rain. At 11:30 am Patter popped in to tell me it had started and I wasn't surprised to have been right. None of that happened at the Dale. Only he would do, I didn't even try because I could feel it. The tug on the hook in my magic or whatever. It didn't really have a direction though. I'm thankful he has dampeners on, if he was just there and it could connect I don't know what would happen." She admitted this, it was embarrassing but true. None of this was what she wanted to talk about though, how to get to the point was the question.
Draco shifted then and she looked up. He was looking at Blaise who just nodded once and then slowly raised a brow. She watched them, amused as usual and then was surprised when the grey eyes were on her and all over her. Immediately she felt that creeping feeling and winced.
"Stop it. The creeping feeling is happening. Reign it in or think of your mother or something." She hissed and closed her eyes, knowing she was flushing hotly. Her embarrassment was profound but she knew that it would only get worse if she tried to ignore it and she liked being around him. Draco's touch or presence hadn't made her uneasy once in the month or so since this started happening more forcefully and she had been so grateful. The slimy watched feelings faded quickly and she looked up.
Blaise had his friend's attention again and she watched as he nodded twice this time and then they both looked to her.
"My apologies, I will contemplate that when you aren't around then." She rolled her eyes at his smirk and knew he was trying to put her at ease again, needling her lightly. This was how they had fallen into dealing with moments or whatever, casually anyways.
"The whole point of this track of conversation was that I asked him if he would think about doing a bonding instead of a binding. He said yes and quicker than I had thought he might. I don't know what Sabrina writes to him so I never know what he is thinking when he asks me questions. Which he does, more often than Josh. So I want to know what you both think about this situation. If it were you maybe and explain to me how it's not like stealing from him. It feels that way, like I've got his home and his sister already. You think I should go in there and renovate or something but it's his. He should decide if he wants that right?" She stopped, both because that was enough and the serious faces looking at her, one all dark and one all pale. The two men were striking in their physical differences.
"I'll try not to actually think about it. Theo wanted you and I was already scared shitless so I never really got hopeful but it's like a gift. Had it been me I would have happily taken the years of cheap shots from Theo and tried to make you so fucking happy that everyone could see it." Draco spoke matter of factly and didn't smirk or anything. She could only blink at him and be glad her teacup was on its saucer.
"That was blunt Drake. I have thought about it, or tried to, trying to see what he might think. I don't know him well at all and it's only since Drake got out that I've had a bit more context. You said that in your first meeting he asked about why you picked him and you explained about Theo. He said you disregarded Nott and so he got lucky. That's what you said and I've been thinking about it, what he knew of you then, could have known and that being his response." Blaise said in his normal interested tone. She was listening and nodded then opened her mouth but he started talking again before she could.
"I know you think a lot of it was or is about Sabrina. That might have been true in that moment. Even so, he didn't think it unlucky to have have had you pick him. There are worse things in life than a witch that everyone knows is a good one, strong and decent. We knew a lot about you at school but he would have known less. Enough though, to know you were kind and devious. Involved in some crazy stuff and a loyal friend to Potter. Loyal, strong, brave, pretty." Blaise looked from her to Draco then and so did she, in time to watch the blonde scoff.
"That's the list. So that's what he knew or we will go with that. Then you were a virgin which was surprising. I was shocked and so was Theo. How did that happen? Did no one try? You had good bodyguards and I think most of us have been hit by a spell of yours so there is that too. Anyways then you come back three weeks later and launch into how Sabrina is doing. That she likes to read papers and you had blasted the gates at his aunt's. He gave me a good description of Aunt Cypress and we laughed. I want to meet her one day and even go there. I hate missing things. Sabrina did tell me about it but the witch was already silenced and bound by then." Blaise and her laughed at the disgruntled whining.
"We talked a lot, Granger. By the end the guards left the opposing cells open till ten or eleven most nights. I talked about you." Draco stopped talking and she wished he would keep going. She had been listening intently, trying to see, hoping they would help her. Then she realised he was waiting for her to comment on that and spoke since her nod hadn't been enough.
"He said that. He said it helped to be able to imagine my reactions or something." She offered and Draco nodded and then smiled a bit. It was genuine, and she wondered what he was thinking.
"He didn't talk about you more than a few times, listened though. To your point, as I understand it, the fact that you are willing to perform ritual magic at his home is a sign of trust and intent. To have loved his sister and done your best for her, to have acknowledged him and publicly held your own. These are all gifts and that is above whatever contracts or papers that are between you." Rarely has she heard him speak so sincerely. If she had to judge, she would guess him to be being totally honest with her.
"The war?" Hermione dared to ask and tried not to show her own mixed feelings.
"Hardly witch." Draco's words were dismissive but he held her eyes and eventually she dipped her head in acknowledgement. They had talked about the war some and how it felt now. Not about Rowle but if Draco was assuring her that the man didn't blame her for the obliviation or whatever pain she had caused him specifically then that was the best she had.
"Thank you." She said quietly and he grinned at her then. Blaise was smiling at the two of them when they both looked at him; he picked up his delicate tea cup and sipped as smugly as she had ever seen.
"Did you owl the brunette?" She asked Blaise and Draco scoffed again, with a sneer to follow.
"I told him to owl the blonde." He said and she scoffed in return.
"I didn't owl either of them. Hermione can't but you could go get some of your own satisfaction and piss off." Blaise said, laughing while he did and she grinned at him. He had liked her that was why she had asked. Sometimes he saw a witch two or three times. This one had been once and he hadn't slept with her but taken her home and kissed her knuckles and then showed up at her place and bemoaned his lack of following through.
"Are you going to go in?" Draco asked her twenty or so minutes later.
"Of course she will. Not right now though, it's still a long time." Blaise answered for her and then they both looked to her.
"Sabrina's rooms will need to be redone, that can be first. Eventually I will go. Maybe after I see Josh again or after Sabrina goes in September." She answered and accepted the refill from Blaise.
"Less than a year." Blaise said and sounded contemplative.
"More than a year." Draco answered back and looked down. Then up at her and she knew he meant for her. She smiled a bit at his distinction, seeming to understand that Josh felt less relevant to her. Blaise, like Harry, wished he had a sister and had decided she was even better because he couldn't salsa properly with a relation. This meant that he didn't understand how she hadn't formed a relationship with this guy who they felt was lucky enough to be her brother.
"Lots of time. Sabrina first. Are you coming?" She asked the two and Blaise scoffed, then looked so insulted that she couldn't help but laugh at his dramatics.
"I don't know." Draco said and she nodded at him. Not willing to push him to go back to the school before he was ready, even for Sabrina's graduation.