Disclaimer Never have been, and never will be that lucky.
Excerpts from Lily's diary at Hogwarts concerning James Potter
Last Day of School Sixth Year
What makes everything so hard? Why aren't things as simple as they used to be? Why the questions? Because I'm so entirely confused that it's driving me up the wall. Again, and again, he never leaves me alone. Why doesn't he ever give me some peace? I've told him time and time again. If he really cared, he'd listen to what I've been telling him all these years. If he doesn't listen, he doesn't really care. Right? Or am I just going insane?
October 14 Seventh Year
I think it must be the later, because reading back over that, it makes no sense at all. Oh well, what does it matter anyways? Who cares if James Potter's a prat? Who cares if he goes out with a new girl every week? Not me. Oh no, I'm not jealous. No, not me, not Lily Allanah Evans. Nope. Nada. No way. I don't care that he doesn't ask me out every day. I don't miss the attention. I don't care in the slightest. Yet, here I am writing word after word all about James Potter. WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME? I do not absolutely not fancy James Potter. That's that I pretty much screamed at Emily last night. Ok, I have been a little sulky. Ok, so yeah, I miss it a bit. But you would too if you had always been assured of someone asking you out almost everyday of your life. You get used to it. And once that gets taken away, you miss it some (fine, you miss it a whole awful huge-moungous lot, but so what?) I've just been so used to Potter always asking me out, that there seems like there's a big gap in my day, a gap that should be filled by him. But he's not there anymore. It's like part of me just got up and walked away, and now I can't find it again. Even if I did try to talk to him, he'd just ignore me now. I've hurt him too much over the years; it would be only fair for him to just pretend not to hear anything I said. So, you know what? I'm not even going to try. I'm just gonna let James Potter fall out of my life forever, and it's not going to hurt at all. I mean,come on I'm Lily Evans for crying out loud. I'm stronger than this, and I'm definitely not so shallow that I should let some self absorbed prat ruin my last year here. Who am I kidding? Fine Potter, you get your way. It hurts. It hurts a whole bloody lot. Please come back.
Last Day of School Seventh Year On the Train Home
He never did come back. I kept hoping he would. But he never even glanced twice at me again the way he used to. He only ever talked to me about work, and hardly ever then. I think six years of rejection every day did something to him, and I don't blame him for giving up. Darn it you idiot girl. Why'd you do that when you've been in love with him ever since that first prank? You idiot. "No Potter…..no Potter, I will not go out with you…..Not if it was between you and the Giant Squid?" You idiot. You lost him forever. No matter how hard you tell yourself, he's not coming back. You lost him Lily. All he ever did was love you, and what did you do? You broke his heart.
A/N Somebody please, please, please review. I keep getting hits and no reviews. Please review, even if it's just to say you hate it.