Battlefield of Masks.

Authors: Evyl

Genre: Romance, Humour

Disclaimer: Right...don't own Gundam Wing...etc...

Pairings: Heero/Duo

Not so perfect in the End.

As I stood on the corner of the empty street I couldn't help but wonder why he was taking so long, it had almost been an hour since I came here. Indeed I had been early but in my life's experiences I had learned early on that the timing was a crucial part of winning and losing.

And I did not want to lose Duo.

I began to shift from foot to foot in anticipation.

The ideas and possibilities had begun to creep into my mind without me even realising.

What if he did not feel the same as me? What if he had run away, not wanting to hurt me but finding no other alternative?

After all…his motto was 'I will run and I will hide but never tell a lie…'

I flinched at the memory of the infamous sentence which brought back all the memories of war and carnage.

In the war I had been the 'Perfect Soldier', the man who could achieve anything, accomplish any given task. I was the legend that was still passed on in the military circles, the myth, hero even.

But was I really all that? I was always so uncertain, so afraid to make a mistake. I kept on acting, putting on a great show to throw the others off, never showing any emotions or signs of weakness. In battles all I had to do was fight and scary as it may seem, I practically never made mistakes for fighting to me had been like a gift, a talent.

Real life proved to be different. I was a shock, a territory where I knew literally nothing. No data.

And while there were many books about things such as piloting and warfare, there were non that could help me in this world of peace, a world I helped create.

Anybody I asked said that you learnt through experience but that was something that I lacked due to my solitary life and all the joy of it.

I had been taught how to fight, not how to become friends with people…friends or more.

I leaned onto the hedge stone and winced as the bitter thoughts filed me.

I had opened up to Duo and now he had gone and done this? How was this fair? I felt a sting of misery as my thoughts became darker.

I had been rejected, used and thrown away like a broken toy.

Is this what happened when you let others see what hurts so much? Well, in that case I don't want this pain, in that case I want to hide again. But this time, I won't let go of the mask…never.

-Heero!

For a moment hope rose in my chest but soon was replaced by horror. A blinding pink monster of a vehicle had stopped before me and within seconds the owner of it was hanging on my arm .

Relena.

-Heeeeeeeeeroo? What are you doing her all alone?-she stretched my name…how annoying.

I looked down at her, sarcasm in my eyes. I wasn't sure if she noticed, maybe she had pretended not to but she sure as hell didn't expect me to answer because she carried on talking.

-Would you like to come along with me? Yeah! That would be so very nice. That braided fool doesn't appreciate you enough, how could he? Leave you standing out here, all by yourself, in the cold…

My expression of sarcasm deepened as she referred to the weather. Cold? It was so bright and sunny…but I guess it was cold, on the inside.

Frozen.

Somewhere in the back of my mind I though about the remark concerning Duo, how did she know that I was waiting for him?

-..and then I said 'No sir' and they all laughed so I said…-

She chattered on, about random things while dragging me into her limo. As I moved I felt the weight of my heart, like a block of ice within my chest.

Nothing mattered now. What Duo had done to me was…too much, too painful. Nothing could be worse than that, not death, not hell not even being with Relena…

Not so perfect in the End.

I need guide lines to this life

Cause in the war it's simple, kill

But in reality that I must face

I need emotions, I need to feel

I might have saved this world

I might have made it free

But peace ain't what I'm used to

This life just ain't for me

So how do I go on now?

I cannot still pretend

That I'm the perfect soldier

Cause I ain't so perfect in the End.

TBC

Soon the depression will be over...in like nine chapters...