"Would you like a guard?" Austin's asked her and she smiled up at him. He had graduated and was who she requested if they asked her. He had settled down and was comfortable enough with her that he didn't stare. Harry said it was hilarious to see everyone groan when they didn't get her day to be the Azkaban escort. They razzed the young Auror for it and she had offered him to not pick him if he wanted. He blushed and said it was as good as a day off.
"No thank you." She grinned at him then and he grinned back. Remembering that day.
He was watching the door and she saw him sit back when she entered. He hadn't known if it would be her or Sabrina and she wondered if he was disappointed.
"How is it?" He asked her and she could see him observing her. She tried to give the most reassuring smile she could without it showing too much.
"I think he is alright. It's only been one full day and he doesn't tell me about himself. He eats and he fell asleep in the library yesterday afternoon. I was reading and he came up to my hideout with a book. It didn't last twenty minutes but I thought that encouraging." She said. Then watched his face and was more encouraged by the smile forming than then anything Josh had said or done.
"Have you seen anyone else?" He asked her and his posture was much more casual now. She relaxed too and crossed her legs.
"I have but he hasn't. Unless I don't know about it." She answered and he nodded his understanding.
Then decided to move on if he didn't have any immediate questions and opened the folder.
She thought about what she wanted to say while he read the letter. It was not long or she didn't think so. He handed it back to her quickly and she looked up from the picture of Sabrina sipping a hot chocolate with a snowy window as backdrop behind her.
"She likes it." He said and she smiled.
"She does. Some of it is very difficult and she likes that too. More than George. Fred has been poking around and we all think that's good. She and George have become friends on their own and that has been good for both of them. Sabrina is so talented and is just beginning to stretch her wings." It felt good to be able to smile so genuinely and with someone who wanted the best for her like she did. Everyone loved her but not like she did. Like he did either. She pulled the top picture out and watched him look at it.
"She's beautiful and looks so happy." He said quietly and she smiled softly.
"Wood?" He asked her and she flipped through the pictures until she found another one. This one showed her smiling up at the taller wizard while he wiped snow off her face.
"Sinclair hit her dead on and Cam got him back right away and then this happened." He looked up at her, probably her soft tone.
"Any change?" He asked her and knew what he meant.
"Some. They spend time together. It's casual but more often and she mentions him more easily. I think part of it was that she didn't know what to do and part of it was not knowing what people would say or think. No contract guidelines or agreements to guide her. She likes it though and sometimes says no or doesn't take his arm. Just because she can. He likes it, so they both seem alright." She said honesty and watched his face. The emotions pass across it.
"Do you think she will be? Ready one day." He added on when she didn't reply and she smiled her reassurance.
"Yes. I'm sure of it. She's waiting too I think. For this to be over." She spoke quietly and honestly. He nodded and she waited for a second.
"I've got a few things to ask you." She tried to speak normally but he didn't buy it and leaned forward.
"The Tower." She blurted and he didn't reply.
"Do you want to go there?" She asked him and he looked thoughtful.
"Not if no one is there." He said and she nodded. Sabrina had told her that she didn't want to go back there if she wasn't going and she didn't know what to think.
"Do you like it? The house I mean." This was painful but she had to keep going
"Parts of it. Just say whatever it is. She said to push you if you didn't brazen your way through it." He raised a brow at that and she blushed.
"The witch is a menace. Alright. Her room is on the fourth floor. That's not convenient or comfortable. I went through it alone and I went back with Daphne." She said and he huffed a sound she didn't quite understand then.
"You want to change it? Significantly." He said and she didn't reply. Just waited.
"Could you be happy there?" He asked her and she frowned. Not knowing if he meant one day or with him or what.
"Would you like to live somewhere else?" He seemed to be showing nearly nothing and she didn't know what to say. How to say anything that she felt.
"I hope I can be happy there. I'd like to change the layout of the family quarters at least. Easier now when no one is in it." She said finally.
"Have you got contractors?" He asked her and she relaxed. He didn't sound upset.
"Yes. From the hotel. That's finished though not open yet. So they are ready. I didn't tell them what it was but one mention of a different kind of project and they were agreeable." She said quietly.
"So you are renovating the Tower. What else?" He asked her intently and she wondered what to ask.
"Do you want Josh to come? He can't sign for your release but if you don't want it to be me then I'll contact whomever." She offered. Hating that they had to talk about such things.
"You are fine and Josh can come if he wants to." The tone said he would and she smiled a bit at that. Then he sobered and she knew it was because she had.
"The dampeners are going to come off." She said and forced herself to keep eye contact.
"Will it be bad?" He asked her and she could see that he had thought about this.
"I don't know." Then she paused. Not knowing how to speak about this.
"Please Just try and say whatever it is." He said and she could see that he meant it.
"I hate this. Not knowing how to talk to you. Not knowing what will happen too. If I will even be able to talk to you." He shifted then and she looked up at his. His eyes were on her and he looked concerned.
"Have you made plans?" He asked her after some seconds and she shrugged. Then decided to try at least.
"I've talked to Blaise about it, Draco too." She stopped again and got a thoughtful nod.
"Of all of your friends and the people around you, you chose them?" He asked and she did understand s it they didn't have time.
"One day we can talk about what we we want for as long as we want. Long story short, Blaise was the first to notice something was changing and they were the only ones I could ask. About you or at least what you might think of things. I had some concerns, fears really, about feeling like I was taking everything from you. Your choice, your sister, and your home even." She admitted and he was expressionless. So he did have a mask, this was the first time she had noticed it.
"Witch, I hope they told you that you are ridiculous." We're his eventual words and she scoffed then sank into her chair.
"They did. Nicer mostly but yes. Anyways, I'll take a half dose calming draught before and hope for the best. I'm sure I won't climb you like a tree in the parole offices." She added the last and he laughed. That made her feel so much better. She didn't laugh in response but it did help.
"What happens after we escape the Ministry." His smile faded and she didn't know how to answer.
"That's your choice. Everything is your choice after you get out of here. If you want to stay with Josh then you will and we can go to the Escape or whatever. Or we could all stay together, or Sabina could stay with you and Josh. Whatever you want. You don't have to decide now either.
"Everything is my choice." He repeated slowly and didn't look like he understood that.
"Yes." She said firmly and he looked at her for a moment and then sat back again.
"Showers. Hot ones and long. Clothes, comfortable ones." He said thoughtfully and she did smile a small one at that.
"No gray." She said flatly and he laughed lowly.
"Alright witch. No gray." He said and then his eyes caught hers and held. It was as if she were trapped or something.
"It all depends on of the rights give us any time then." She thought about that and he was right.
"If they don't?" He asked her seriously and she didn't know what to say.
"Consummation of the Rights should negate the magic." She offered when he didn't continue. It was the best she could offer.
"Then what happens?" He asked her and she could only shrug.
"I don't know. I hate not being able to even call you by your name without pausing." She added the last in her frustration and he rolled his eyes.
"Practice then. I did. Admittedly it was in my head but I did and now I can call you Hermione and it doesn't sound like another language or something." He suggested and she nodded seriously. She would do that then.
"Do you want to wait?" He asked her and she could tell he was serious. What for though?
"For what?" She asked and he was exasperated with her now or she thought that's what it was.
"I doubt that consummating a ritual with you will end with me wanting to start a long and tedious courtship." He said directly and she didn't even blush.
"No. I don't want that. A courtship like Daphne is expecting, if that's what you mean." She said and didn't add any of the hundred other things she didn't want. Or did want. Any of it. It felt like offering her personal self to stranger.
"So you don't want to start from the beginning?" He asked her and she was tired of having to answer.
"It's always you asking me questions. You decide this. I've had to do everything and try and guess what you would want or approve of. You decide this." He stared at her for seconds and then leaned forward and she looked down. Not knowing what he would say.
"Look at me Hermione." His words were quiet but she couldn't help looking up.
"Could you Just step into a life with me? From one day to the next." She didn't answer. This was her answering another question.
"You are my witch. I won't take what you can't give and I won't demand you dismantle a life you've spent years building." She felt herself relax a bit at that. His reasons for asking her.
"Could you?" She asked him and felt Gryffindor in that moment. Her eyes held his now and she saw him shift.
"I don't know. I don't want to get out of here and not have some expectations. That's all I feel I can ask of you." She felt her temper flare again.
"You can tell me what those might be when we get wherever you decide to go after your release." She kept her tone even but he knew she wasn't happy and she could see him breathe deeply and she opened the folder again to pull out the pictures. He didn't pick them up and hadn't looked away from her.
"Witch, that is enough. I can imagine how Josh reacts this part of you." She shut her mouth and held his eyes. Neither spoke and she decided that if he wanted to spend the rest of the time they had staring at each other then that was fine.
"This is it. How you feel and how I make you feel is all I have to work with. I can't change how this happened."
He said quietly and she didn't answer but did nod once. Understanding his words and some of how he felt.
"If we can wait, do you want to?" He asked her and she didn't answer. Knowing she was being stubborn but truly tired of guessing and going it alone. She wanted a partner, someone who would share how they felt and be equally important. Who would let her make him important too. He wiped a hand across his face and watched him. His hands were large and he looked oversized in the chair. It wasn't small but his shoulders were wide and it seemed he was more muscled every time she saw him. His hair was longer still and she wanted to give him a hair tie.
"I should want to. Should want to give you time or whatever. I don't though. I want to get out of here and lock you all up in the Tower with me until it's all normal, easy." He said and she waited for him to look up. Her heart was pounding and she felt her hands get clammy.
"Is that really what you want? You'd rather finish the Rights and just begin as we mean to go on?" Her voice was as even as she could make it but it had a shake and she made herself hold eye contact.
"I can't ask you for that." He said and now he was frustrated. His hands were flat on the table top but a muscle twitched in his jaw.
"I don't think Josh will like it." She said and watched him. He stilled completely and then his palms fell onto his lap.
"I don't want to dance around each other for everyone to see. They will be watching. Even my friends, they know about the Rights. Everyone does. Is waiting for you to get out of here and then for the huge scandal my famous virginity finally vanishing will cause." She admitted. His expression was hard then and she didn't like it.
"I'll think about it. Not the Dale though. Maybe the Escape. We only have twelve minutes so at least flip through the pictures." She said. Now that she had calmed down, she didn't want to leave without him seeing at least Sabrina.
"Alright. When is the Gryffindor game?" That was his first question after a few pictures.
"May. Blaise has already made sure I've got my outfit and has mentioned taking pictures for you. He has added a few to the box." She said quietly and he looked up at her then. Interest and speculation on his face. He didn't speak though and carried on.
"Is this skiing?" He asked her and she couldn't keep in her grin.
"Yes. Sabrina is sure you will love it. I like it even if I'm not great. She didn't. Don't let her tell you it was fine. Cam and I both saw her throw things and it was funny." She smiled at the memory and he grinned before looking back down.
"Teddy has gotten big. Look at him fly." He was weaving in and out of the people spaced around the ballroom of the Dale. Nearly bouncing with excitement from his slightly more agile broom.
"He is growing all the time." He looked up at her answer and smiled. It was gentle and usually reserved for mentions of Sabrina.
"Think about what you want Thorfinn. I can't do much about the Rights but everything else. I want you to make choices. I need you make decisions too." She said quietly when the guard knocked and he stood when she did. This was the first time he had done this and she was surprised. She stopped at the door and looked back at him. Still standing, with his hands on the table and watching her. She wished she could read the emotions on his face. Something of what was there at least.