"Hey!" Draco exclaimed, as they returned to the deserted Main Hall.

"What?"

"We're supposed to be at Hogsmeade today."

"Oh really?" Web asked, having no clue as to what Hogsmeade was or why she would want to be there.

"Yes, really... and we're late."

"Oh. Well, I suppose we should go then."

"But… we just got expelled!"

"So?"

"So… Well… Okay."

Ignoring the disapproving looks of certain teachers, they hurried into Honeydukes. Like usual, it was packed with chattering students, but as they walked in, the whole room went silent. Everyone's attention was fixed on Web and Draco, some girls almost causing Web to drop dead with their death stares, likewise Harry to Draco.

"Hi?" said Web candidly

Everyone started talking again at the same time.

"Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh-" Said Web acidly, as Pansy sidled up to Draco.

"So... fancy a butterbeer?" Pansy offered, winking.

"No." Draco growled tartly.

Pansy 'but-but'd' stupidly for a while then stopped herself with a high-pitched, pathetic wail that took a while to translate to "Why?"

"Because I don't want to. I'd rather show Web around." Draco explained tetchily.

Pansy sneered at Web like a chimpanzee. "Why, can't poor Webby find things pro-per-leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?"

"As a matter of fact, Pansy, I probably have a better chance than you, as, unlike you, I have this thing scientists have dubbed a brain."

Pansy was gob smacked. "Well, ner!"

Web raised her eyebrows. "Great comeback." She said scathingly.

Pansy pursed her lips and stomped off.

"Interesting."

"You'll get used to her. Well actually… maybe not…" Draco trailed off, and noticing something that caused him to go bright red, asked hastily, "Do you want a butterbeer?"

"I suppose, but you don't do you?"

"Yes."

"But you said-" Web's face brightened, "Oh!" She got a sort of scarilv triumphant look on her face.

Web followed Draco out of the store. It was quite cold out, so both were happier as they entered the dimly lit room.

They sat down at a wooden table to the far left. Eventually, they ordered and soon enough their drinks were on the table in front of them.

"Fascinating." Draco said interestedly

"Mmmmmm?" Web requested, swallowing a mouthful of her butterbeer hurriedly.

"Seems like we have a fan club."

"You mean WE have a fan club? Some people different to YOUR fans? Some actual people have come to see US not just -" Web's scorns were interrupted by Draco saying 'yes' pointedly, and clapping a hand over her mouth.

He pointed out Harry, Hermione and Ron wandering the room. Harry and Hermione looked very remarkable, scanning tables and all sorts for god knows what. Ron followed them; occasionally saying things they couldn't hear but they assumed were pleas for them to stop throwing people's drinks everywhere and overturning tables and chairs in their relentless searching. All of sudden, they spotted Web and Draco snorting into their butterbeers. They sat down at one of the tables they hadn't overturned and watched them unblinkingly.

With a loud, resigned sigh, Ron sat across from them and began waving his hands in front of their faces. After a while of non-responsive, trance-like behaviour, he shrugged his shoulders over exaggeratedly, and trudged over to them.

"What is wrong with them?" He asked tactlessly.

"Who?" Draco asked, pretending as if he hadn't been watching for the last few minutes.

"Who do you think?" he hissed.

"Oh, you mean Potter and Granger? Like I would know!"

"Yeah, right."

"Why would Ido anything anyway?"

"Because you're a mad, foolish googly-eyed freak who can't get a shag and..." he stopped and looked at Web, "Well, I guess you can. But still."

"Foolish?" Draco asked incredulously, "Googly eyed?"

"Yeah, well... you got the gist of it anyway."

"You need to work on your vocabularlary... vocabulariry .. vocabularly..."

"Vocabulary." Web supplied

"That." He agreed, staring at the table, his pale cheeks reddening

"Anyway," Web said, sipping her butterbeer lazily, "What was the purpose of this visit?"

"Oh, yeah, that's right. Stop what ever you did to them."

"Puh-leeeeeeeeeeeeez?" Web said indignantly.

"Please." Ron said with a disgusted look on his face.

"We didn't do anything. We already told you that. Having to repeat myself is becoming quite annoying." Web answered.

"Yeah, well what do you expect?" Ron asked.

"Well, you and Harry got caught making out in the change rooms before a Quidditch match and you were severely reprimanded." Draco pointed out aloofly, stirring the froth on his butter beer with his finger.

"We were forced into an orgy with the teachers thank you, which is worse let me tell you... Oops."

"O... kay..." Web said slowly, turning to look at Draco in shock. Draco skulled his butterbeer, then said calmly, "Weasley, never, ever, ever, tell me that much about you, a-GAIN. Ever. Understood?"

Ron gulped and nodded. Web got up and drank her own butterbeer quickly.

"Goodbye." She said, slamming her empty glass on the table and heading towards the door. Draco followed her, still shaking his head at this newly gained knowledge.

"Let's go to the Shrieking Shack." Draco whispered in her ear as they left the room.

"Okay then, even though I wouldn't have a clue what that is."

They walked up side by side, until reaching a good look out point. Web, clambering up onto a half ruined brick wall, suddenly pointed off into the distance and began to laugh.

"What?"

"I think you're right about our growing fan club."

She bent down to Draco and pointing out a red-faced Harry and a stormy-faced Hermione. Ron was following meekly.

"Look here Malfoy!" Harry challenged

Draco, who was already looking in his direction, rolled his eyes.

"I already am." he said contemptuously.

Harry looked taken aback. "I don't want you... anywhere near Web anymore!"

"Shouldn't you be speaking to Web about that then?" he said, un-phased.

"You don't want her! Leave her alone!"

Web had been watching bemusedly until now. "Do you NOT think that you should ask whether or not he does want me, not just make these assumptions?"

"No, because I know what he wants!"

Draco looked slightly irritated, but Web ignored it.

"Oh, sure you would no."

Draco made some sort of gesture behind her head as Harry opened his mouth to say something. He closed his mouth angrily, opened it again, thought for a moment, shut it, opened it for the third time and then started again.

"Wouldn't you rather me?" he asked despondently, causing Draco to pout.

"Um, no, actually." Web said flatly

"Oh."

Hermione beamed.

"I saw that Hermione." Harry said.

Hermione frowned.

"I saw that too. What is up with you today?" He turned around to face the girl, who was staring at the backs of Harry's shoes.

"Nothing..." Hermione answered, looking away and trying to appear uninterested.

Harry raised his eyebrows disbelievingly.

"Heh heh heh... hm." Web stopped under the ferocious glare coming form Hermione.

"Shut your face lover girl." Hermione snarled.

"Lover girl?" Web inquired

"Oh, hasn't HE told you then?" she asked, smirking

"Web whirled around to look-accusingly at Draco. "LOVER girl?"

"Um?" Draco said intelligently.

Web glowered.

"Well...okay, seriously?" He dropped his voice to a whisper so that the others couldn't hear what he was saying, "I haven't had a girl since fourth year."

Web suffocated a scoff by turning back to face Hermione. She thought for a moment. "So what's the plan Hermione? Anyone would think you were after Draco and not Harry!"

"Who says I'm after Harry?" she asked indignantly

Ron and Draco both burst into laughter. She silenced Ron with a slap, and tried to endure Draco's hysterical laughter, which was becoming more and more maniacal by the second, with a murderous look on her face.

Harry took one look at Hermione and blushed deeply.

"Well... why would you care?" Harry, attempting to sound gifted, failed miserably.

"Coz if Hermione's after Draco I might just get very mad."

Harry mumbled something out of the corner of his mouth that sounded like "So might I."

"I wouldn't dream of it." Hermione jeered.

"Well good." Said Web, "I'm glad that's sorted. Let's go shall we Draco?" She jumped down with a triumphant flourish, then yanked Draco's arm and pranced off grinning.

Harry stared, taking a while to work out that absolutely nothing had been sorted by this, and also that Hermione seemed to be…

"Hermione! Leave my pants where they are!"