Tap, Tap, Tap
Web rubbed her eyes sleepily.
Tap, Tap, Tap
She frowned.
Tap, Tap, Tap
"SHUT UP JOANNE!" she yelled, banging her fists on the wall behind her.
Tap, Tap, TAP!
"Bloody hell!" Web cursed, getting up. She went to go strangle her sister but a flurry of movement beside her window caught her eye.
She looked over. There was a bam owl fluttering near her window, tapping on the glass with its beak, which was clamped tightly on an envelope.
"Hmm." Said Web, crossing the room. She opened the window and undid the latch hastily. The owl flapped in thankfully and perched itself on her dressing table, glaring at the family's pet cat, Cloud, who skulked in and upon sight of the owl moon-walked out of the room.
"Wow, I didn't know cats could do that." Said Web to the owl, bending down and scooping up the letter the owl had dropped on the carpet.
She unrolled the parchment to reveal small, neat handwriting sweeping over the page. She smiled to herself as she read under her breath.
'Web, How are you. I am well,'
As Web added "as always"
'I have spoken to mother and father, and they have FINALLY agreed to your visit. Please reply as soon as possible as I would like to plan something for us to do when you arrive.
Draco Malfoy'
Web snorted. "Have you ever heard of abbreviations?"
The owl scowled at her.
"Yeah, yeah, I know, answer as soon as possible, all right, all right. Maybe I could answer easier if I wasn't SLEEP DEPRAVED!"
The owl made no reply, not surprisingly.
"Fine." Web hissed
She whipped open a drawer on her desk and took out a rather shabbily rolled up piece of parchment and a quill that had cat tooth marks in it.
"Shuddap." She said to the owl that had made a sort of scoffing noise at the arrival of her 'stationary'.
'Draco.' she sucked the end of the quill, absent-mindedly, realised what she was doing and slapped herself harshly across the face.
This time the owl laughed heartily.
"Aargh!" yelled Web, leaping a foot in the air. The owl spread its wings in a sort of "What?" gesture.
"Okay, got to focus, got to focus. Okay. SHIBBY! Shut up Web. Okay."
'Great news your dooms bringer of death brings. Of course, this is your owl I am talking about, he just looks a lot like a dooms bringer of death because it is approximately three in the morning and I am very tired. I NEED MY BEAUTY SLEEP! Anyway, I will have a chat to mum and dad and see what they say. Do you mind being called Harry?'
The owl, which had been reading what she was writing, pecked her on the hand and ruffled its feathers indignantly.
"Ow!" exclaimed Web, sucking the wound.
She could've sworn she heard the owl say "Oh, poor baby" in a very scandalled voice.
'Your owl just PECKED me, for reasons unknown! How RUDE! Anyway, please send me a reply ASAP. Web'
Web re-read her letter, then added 'PS, ASAP means as soon as possible'
"All right." Web said, sucking the end of her quill.
"CRAP!" she yelled, throwing the quill out the window.
She heard a muffled "Ow!"
She folded the letter and put it carefully into an envelope. She gave the owl a warning look, and then kissed the envelope shut. It scowled at her again. She poked her tongue out at it, and then offered the envelope to it. It took it gingerly with one talon then took off through the open window.
"What the!" came a cry from down below.
"I'm not in luuurve," sang Web, both terribly and loudly. "It's just a phase that I'm g-oh my GOD!" She dropped the toast she had just taken out of the toaster on to her plate and quickly unlatched the kitchen window.
"You again?" she demanded of the bedraggled owl who landed on the kitchen counter and began savaging her toast in reply. An envelope started floating down to the tiled floor of the kitchen, obviously having been dropped hastily as the owl flew in. She scooped it up almost greedily and tore open the envelope loudly.
'Web, I am glad you are glad.'
Web imagined the pale boy going cross eyed at this obvious lack of grammar and... stuff.
'Please talk to your parents... ASAP... did I spell that right?'
Web laughed energetically, which brought a sort of 'how in god's name can you have that much energy in the goddamn morning?' glare from her little sister, Joanne, who was trudging across the tiles in pyjamas that were too big, completely ignoring the fact there was an owl on the bench top eating toast with a knife and fork, gnomes in the corner dancing to the radio, and the dishes washing themselves in the sink. Web gave her a 'shut up, do you know that your hair is all messy?' glare and turned back to the letter as Joanne screamed and ran upstairs.
'If it is okay, my parents will be at your house about 11 on the 15th. If it isn't put a large popcorn donkey outside your house and they will proceed to Diagon Alley where they need to go anyway to'
"Why is 'get me a present because I am such a good boy' crossed out?" Web asked of the owl.
'Get some things, and I will hopefully see you soon. By the way, I am sorry the owl pecked you, I really can't think of why he would do that. I guess he really does look like a dooms bringer of death in the morning, but not compared to father in a foul mood. And, by the way, you don't need beauty sleep. Draco Malfoy. Postscript: Why would I mind being called Harry?'
"Oh god! B-T-W! B-T-W! P-S AND B-T-W! DRACO YOU NEED A MOBILE! And HOW am I going to ask them about him?"
Web's dad worked in the Ministry of Magic and very well knew about Lucius'... ahem... activities.
The owl stared at Web reproachfully. "Shut your face owl. You stole my toast."
It went back to tearing at the toast, spraying crumbs everywhere.
Web rolled her eyes and ran upstairs. She went back to the same drawer and took out another piece of crudely folded parchment and a new quill.
On her way out she noticed some garden gnomes dancing like the Backstreet Boys to Outkasts 'I Like The Way You Move' She muttered something about ruining good music when she caught sight of the quill.
"Lets see what he thinks of this!" she exclaimed victoriously, seizing the quill and parchment and charging downstairs to where the owl was.
"What cha think of THIS!" she said, shoving the quill in the owls face. Its eyes widened and it fell backwards in surprise.
"Ooops." Said Web, carefully stepping over to the owl and picking it up. She laid it gently on the counter where it lay frozen with shock.
"Okies." Said Web. She took care not to put the quill in her mouth (she was breaking the habit, you see) and began writing.
'Draco. I really have no idea where to get a large popcorn donkey but do know where to get a large popcorn sloth. Would you mind if this was different? Anyways, I really want'
Web had almost written 'you' but stopped, aghast at herself, 'to see you. Web, one who does, contrary to popular opinion, need beauty sleep.'
She folded the envelope carefully, took an envelope out of thin air and put it in. She kissed it just to spite the owl and handed it to it. It flew out the window clutching the envelope in one talon and the remains of Web's toast in its beak.
"Bye then." Web said.