"You were going to tell me to start driving to our house now." Said Web, doing a very good impression of Lucius' voice, as he stared blankly at her with his lips not moving at all.

"Oh, well, carry on then." She began waiting for half an hour for Lucius to speak.

"What do I do?" asked Lucius. Narcissa slapped her thigh in irritation. "Put the key in the ignition."

Lucius did so.

"DRIVE YOU FOOL!"

Lucius stomped on the accelerator and they sped off, Web screaming and crying out for special bubble baths and fine glass chandeliers.

After Web's knuckles had turned a sickening shade of white as she hung onto the seat for dear life, they had run red lights, been involved in police chases, drug dealt in dark alleyways, lost their direction, refused to ask for directions and stopped for approximately ten toilet breaks, they were there in twenty minutes.

Lucius placed a finely crafted Italian shoe on the brake as they almost shot past the house. He pulled into the driveway. In front of them were black gates, with the Malfoy crest showing on both the gates that pulled away from each other majestically, allowing them entrance to the grounds. The wheels crunched slowly over pure white gravel. On either side of the gravel driveway was delicately cut green grass. There was a sprinkling of perfectly trimmed trees on the lawn, and peacocks tiptoed around the trees. As they drove up to the house, Web noticed a large stone fountain to the driver's side, the front door on Narcissa and Web's side. The front door was large, towering and black with old antique looking brass handles. As Web started to get out of the car the door opened. Draco ran out in slow motion, his blonde hair flying out behind him as he ran to greet them. He bent down, lifted her out of the car, and twirled her around with ease as he started to kiss her... "HEY!" Lucius slapped Web awake, with surprising strength, "Wake up, we're not your attendants!"

Web clapped her hand to her cheek and rubbed it gingerly. "God, you coulda just shook me awake!"

Lucius shrugged, turned and began walking up to the house. Web got out of the car and blinked in the unexpected sunshine. Having fallen asleep due to the high amount of drugs swimming around in her bloodstream she was half expecting it to be dark night. Narcissa was striding purposefully up to the house, a key dangling from her hand. Web looked to the boot of the car, which was wide open.

"Well, we certainly don't need to worry about burglary here now do we?" Web said scathingly, walking to her trunk and dragging it to the front steps. 'As a matter of fact...' she thought as she looked around and almost dropped her trunk on her foot. The walls of the grounds were about 5 metres high, made of rugged stone bricks topped with steel rusting spikes. Nothing could be seen of the surroundings, but there was plenty of bare land as far as she could see. There was one tree up near the house, soaring and intimidating. It was almost black, and the branches were studded with curling leaves. The house looked like one of the old crumbling mansions in horror movies, however before aforesaid houses had fallen into disrepair. It was made of wood boards that were spotless with a dark and ominous look to them. There was one window close to the ground. It had one single web in the comer of the window. This web took up a tiny part of the window, and for a strange and indefinite reason spread up to the right comer of the house like the window and the corresponding side of the house were an elaborate half-mask. There was a small veranda, the contents of which Web could not see because it was completely fenced by large grey stone slabs. The one thing Web could see was a black door. It had a thick metallic silver outline, and a silver door handle, which was large and intricate. Web could see dark carvings in the door handle, but the design was so small that from where she was standing she could not make out what they were. It seemed the whole house was still in night while the world was in day.

Web looked up at the remaining three stories. The second was exactly the same colours and style as the first, but the third storey...

The third storey was entirely different to the rest of the house, and utterly out of the ordinary. While the first two stories seemed to follow a gothic style, the third seemed as if a pack of crazed clowns had come in and played Renovation Rescue. The wallpaper was hot pink with...

"What the HELL?" exclaimed Web.

From what she could make out, on all the edges, the drainpipes were made of pink fake for with big purple dots. The windows were submarine windows, however, the windowpane was pink stained glass.

Narcissa chose at that time to whistle from the doorway. "Wakey wakey... Web..."

Web shook her head and picked up her trunk, grudgingly following Narcissa, who walked like a demented model with a rod jammed up her arse.

"That's the living room," Narcissa said in her high-pitched whiney donkey voice. She pointed to a sunken lounge with perfect cream carpet. The walls were a light beige colour. There was a TV that stretched all along the far wall. Lucius sat in a long burgundy colour modular lounge that sat right in front of that TV. His hair was tied up into a pink bow. On the floor were many assorted cushions of different pattern and colour. These cushions fitted with the colour scheme in the room, and Web could tell that the cushions didn't belong on the floor. (They lived in the closet and were watching their favourite show.)

Web gaped at the huge TV, which, as Web could hear, had surround sound (coz we can all tell that kind of thing just so easily). It was showing the national ice skating championships and as Web watched in awe, Lucius burst out; "What! They beat you! Why didn't you blast them!" he screamed frenziedly, brandishing his wand in protest.

Just for fun, Narcissa took a small anvil from her pocket and lobbed it at his head. It struck him on his right temple and he fell to the floor.

The pillows screamed and arranged themselves in an attractive manner upon the opposite white lounge.

Narcissa shook her head.

Behind the lounge was a step up into a dining room. The dining room was also on cream carpet, and inside it was surprisingly empty. In the dining room was a large oak table with huge chairs that Web figured would make even a giant seem like a small child. Seeing the chair at the head of the table that was exactly the same as all the others, excepting it had a small stepladder to the hidden side and a huge puffy cushion on it, Web thought that this was most probably the point. To the far right hand side of the dining room was an open plan kitchen. It was brimming with many house elves hurrying to and fro. They prepared elaborate meals as Web and Narcissa watched. Further on from the dining room was a glass sliding door. It looked out on to a huge backyard. Every now and again Web spotted a strutting peacock dart from one tree to another, and even a wolf lay on the snow marvellously. A snowy owl sat hooting in one pine tree that, at one point, had a snowball thrown at it. Web watched the startled owl glare down at the wolf, which was still sleeping, but had a suspicious amount of fresh snow on one paw.

"Hey!" said Web, bewildered, "Why is there SNOW outside? It was sunny outside like a minute ago!" She spun to look at Narcissa accusingly.

To the right of the door was a large elaborate painting of what appeared to be Draco in tight fitting clothes that left nothing to the imagination. It was framed by a detailed gold frame that Web had a sneaking feeling was real gold.

To the right of that was a staircase, which had the traditional cream carpeting. The rail was the same wood as the dining table in the room. Next to that, on the wall, was a blonde figure in a pink tutu and ballet slippers that laced up halfway up said person's legs.

Narcissa shrugged, "Come on." She said, starting up the stairs