When Hermione stood from the table and waited pointedly for Josh, he knew this was deliberate and settled back into his chair. He shared a glance with Josh and then his witch before the two left the room and he took a long blink. It felt like he was stretching as she slowly walked down the short hallway away from him. When he thought it wouldn't show, he looked back to his sister. Sabrina's eyes were scanning his face and he knew that she had seen the tension.
"The Tower is amazing Sprite. You were right. Barely feels like the same place. If the view wasn't the same it wouldn't be." He praised her and instead of the happy smile her face was determined. He had seen more of that expression today than he had since she went to school.
"Lay it on me." He said when she didn't reply or speak. He watched her carefully as she accepted the wine glass that appeared in front of her. A rosé he thought and watched her smile at the glass. Then look at his space and wait. A whiskey was there when he looked down and the smile was wider when he looked back up at her.
"I don't know what to say Thor." He could see that she meant it and considered.
"What is most important, to you?" He asked her and watched her eyes look him over before she picked up her glass and sat back in her chair. Legs crossed and a woman. Not a girl anymore and he didn't know how he felt about that. Now wasn't the time to get maudlin though. Sabrina had things to say and he owed it to her to listen. To take her words seriously.
"So much is important but I don't know if it is right now." Were her eventual words and he watched her scan him again and decided his position wasn't helping. So he leaned into the chair and crossed his feet under the table. Then he picked up his glass and sipped slowly while watching her.
"You are. She is. Josh and I are fine. Sinclair too. Everyone else in their order of relevance to you three." He thought his honest answer settled her some and watched her sip and look into the pretty liquid. He didn't think he would like it but it suited her colouring and her. Delicate and robust. He was getting sentimental as he sat here. Hardly able to believe this comfortable room was in his home. The family wing of his home. Where Sabrina's room was too.
His sister had excitedly pulled him out pf the floo into the main sitting room of this floor and began talking about how it was different. How they were all in one wing. There were private versions of nearly every room up here and quarters for guests on the other side. How the use of the round space allowed the floor plan to not be equal on each side and the bank of guest rooms wasn't near the size of the space allocated to family.
Her emphasis on the word. Use of us and we. It was all clear to him and he had seen Josh stare at Hermione as Sabrina spoke and the witch quietly answered the questions put to her. So he sat here in a room meant for exactly the group that had been here. With a table that was set up for a minuscule six though could seat ten without changing it. Meant to seat his family only. For them to have intimate and comfortable meals together, away from the space others could or would be in without direct invitation.
"I think I will just speak about here and hope that is enough. There is much I want to share with you. Memories and photos. Plans and ideas. I'll just talk about the Tower though. I know you two need to talk about things. Hopefully what I think comes across talking about here." She stopped then and he could see her thinking and then she began to speak quietly.
"I'm sure she told you some of how I was, when she appeared in my life. I'll tell about being at Aunt's house another day. She said she didn't tell you anything other than that she didn't think it would be good for me to stay there, or something like that. She came. Just showed up and demanded me. Meda had assured her that she was within her rights and it was a Gryffindor moment for her. She does best when it's for others." He listened and remembered that girl. The angry and sad one that he had thought about endlessly in the last months of the war and the days after. Seeing her here now, speaking with him, open to him was a gift. He knew it wasn't one he deserved and he decided for the thousandth time to deserve it from here forward. Her pause ended and he pulled himself back to now.
"So she brought me to the Dale. I remember looking around and wondering why I was there. I knew she was a Rosier. It was in the papers and before my eyes the witch changed. I asked her if I was staying and she told me yes. Looked me in the eye and told me she was your betrothed and because you couldn't be there, she was looking after me instead. It was crazy. She was a legend at school. Larger than life and her posters were in the bathrooms and on dorm notice boards. You hunted her Thor. But at home, with her it was like she was a regular witch. Didn't seem old enough to have saved the world and the people who came and went. After a few days we started seeing people and they just accepted me. It was as if I had always been there. She accepted me that first day and has been the best parent and friend. Better than any other parent I know of anyways. Then there was Sinclair." The slow sips of whiskey and her voice added to the moment. It was better than any dream. He could only listen and then Sabrina's eyes came up. Full of emotion and he nodded at her. Once, to show he had seen it.
"I knew she took criticism for us. You and me, then Josh. Our family names and what they meant then. It's better now. Much better. It's hard to get to the Tower without some of what happened. I'm sorry it's not all in order." His smile was indulgent and she looked relieved at his acceptance. He just tried to learn about her. About them and felt so much relief that this was what she wanted to do. Tell him about their life.
"When she took Sin though. I could see how momentous it was for her to do. How big a change it was for her. Taking him meant loving him. Making sure he had a home and normal life. That I understood it couldn't be just us anymore. I just wanted to take him. Do for him what she had done for me. Hermione was right though, understood better than me what it meant to become family. Not already have been one. Told me it would take a while and it did. I gave and gave before he started to open up back to me. He knew a lot about me before I knew much of anything personal about him. We were at school together and she came to nearly every Hogsmeade trip. He couldn't come as a first year but she sent packages and things back with me. Wrote us hundreds of letters a term. Is completely available to us for anything all the time. Then it felt like a dream and I used to tell Sin she never broke her promises. She promised Harry she would stay with him and she did. Promised you she would look after me and she did." Sabrina spoke quietly but vehemently and held his eyes.
The emotion was clear and he tried not to let his overwhelm him. So much was implied in her words. That she hadn't trusted the life she found herself in. Not really.
"Then she bought the Escape." Sabrina's voice was different, passionate and almost her fierce tone.
"When we went there and I saw it. It wasn't her at all. She doesn't actually like these huge sprawling homes though she does like the lands. This wing is her version of a home. Small enough that you see the people who live there. The Escape was when she first spoke about after. I mean as in we would have a life together. With you. Josh was always included but the way she talked about the Dale being Joshs. Daphne's one day too. That it wasn't ours, wouldn't be Sin's or mine either. That she wanted a place for us to be ourselves. Maybe one day we could do normal things like a family. She said that then and we watched Sin fly around the pitch there." This pause was deliberate and he tried to see things from Sabrina's perspective. Remembered how he had felt when he thought about her words and face when she said she had kept the master suite.
"So when she came here, or told me about it anyways.
Asked if I would come and walk here with her. When I watched her here, comfortable and happy here. I wondered if she would do here what she hadn't at the Dale. Like she did with our rooms and hers. It's different than the rest of the house. Then we brought Sin here, After Josh got out and both of us were upset. Not with her or even him but I had been so hopeful. So much more than her. I thought he would be like you were with me. Not like you but in his way. He wasn't though and I think it scared her too. But she made this place for us. The way Blaise looked at the floor plans and she spoke about it. The way others looked at her when she did. It wasn't many but they know a lot about her. Pans and Blaise. Harry and Draco. The four of them and Luna. Luna isn't normal. Doesn't see things normally but she does see things clearly and told me Hermione build her dreams here. This is her dream. For us. For us to live here and love here, be a family here. That's what the Tower is." Every word was spoken with such sincerity, Sabrina didn't cry but she could have.
He felt his own emotions at Sabrina's words. Her view of Hermione and what she wanted. 'Of course he will love her if she gives him the chance.' The words from the conversation a year and a half ago rang clearly in his mind now. He tried to think but couldn't, just wanted to know which room was Sabrina's and which one was theirs. To pull her in there with him and close the doors on everything else. Let himself touch her and feel the magic rage around them. Let himself feel like she was his. Like this was his. Theirs. Now it was his and hers, not theirs. He scanned the room again and it was finished but it wasn't as personalized as the room they had tea in at the Dale.
Then he looked at the witch watching him. It wasn't uncomfortable at all and he could see the adult understanding in her eyes. Maybe she didn't know everything but she did know enough. His sister wasn't a child and knew about the Rites at least. Maybe she was his best bet. Josh was clearly useless as regards his sister and he didn't know who else to ask. If he should ask anyone, but he thought Sabrina wanted to say more.
"Tell me." He requested and finished his drink then spun the glass for something to do. She was still here, in the Tower. The pull wasn't tightened by distance and he wondered if that's how it was all the time for her before. No specific destination but a pull like he was far away. France had been like a crushing weight. He could move though and even now it didn't physically affect him. Just his magic and attention.
"I'm not sure she would want me to say anything." Were her words after a minute and he held the eyes he recognized from the mirror. Their father had them too. Exactly the same. Sabrina's showed only concern right now and he watched her finger the stem of her wine glass.
"Did Josh mention Blaise?" She asked quietly and he could see the defensiveness. He nodded, no point in hiding that. They all knew there had been an issue over it.
"Are you worried about it?" She asked and he thought about that, not wanting to lie. Sabrina's last letter had said she wanted to be as honest When she seen him last as they had been while he was there. Now he was here and it was hard to be honest. It wasn't flattering either.
"No. Not the way Josh is or was. I'll talk to him." She nodded and waited, that wasn't enough.
"She's got a life Sprite. Loves him. Others too. Doesn't really need me." The admission cost and Sabrina cocked her head at him. He didn't think she expected that.
"Yes she does. Maybe it is okay to talk about her, a little anyways. My observations rather than her thoughts. She loves Blaise. Really loves him and it's completely reciprocal. It isn't passionate though. More than once I've bitterly thought about what would have happened if he hadn't made her sign a contract. A betrothal contract. I think any of them would have married her, or tried anyways. Many did, still do but she hasn't once looked that I've seen. Blaise either. She uses you like a shield. The manners and guidelines of our traditions too. What I mean is that she does need you, can't have everything she needs now, unless you provide it. I asked Blaise to write you a letter. In case I didn't know how to say what I really meant." Sabrina looked up at him and he met her eyes. Thought she had said what she could. What had words and felt relevant to right now. As he thought over what she had said, it was a lot.
"If you want me to read it then I will." He didn't know what else to say but he wanted to read it. To know what this wizard, who had become so important to both witches in his life, thought. What Blaise Zabini would write to him at Sabrina's request, to explain what she didn't have words for. It was a nice thing for the man to have done for her bite Sabrina treated it as normal. Such gestures were normal from him and he was as curious about the dynamics among these people as he had ever been.
"Alright. I don't know what he might have written, so I'll leave you alone to read it. I'm sure you can find Hermione and call for an elf if you want to find me. I'm the second door on the left from the main door into the bedrooms." He nodded and stood up. She rounded the table to him and hugged him tight, let him hug her to him. Feel her warmth and the way her arms wrapped around him.
"I love you sprite. Thank you." He said and pulled back so he could see her face. His sister was crying but smiling and wiped her eyes.
"I love you too Thor. I'm so glad you are home." The emotion there was like a patch on the cracks he thought their relationship had suffered. Then he watched her walk to the door and stop to smile back at him. Then he picked up the letter and walked to the window. It was nearly dark but he could see the stars starting to shine among the clouds and the familiar shapes of the mountains around him. He fingered the envelope and wondered if this was the end of the letters, letters in place of people at least.
Standing against a wall was a familiar position from in there and it felt comfortable. The shirt that fit him and the way the room smelled was tangible evidence to his body that he wasn't there, no flashbacks or even a shiver in remembrance. Maybe it was the Rites pulling onto him, reminding him of the difference between now and this morning. It was surreal but now wasn't the time to think about that.
Rowle. The writing was thick and flourished but not feminine. He thought over what he knew of the wizard, from school but also what Draco had said. He was like weather vane but loyal. Draco had made a comment about sticking with him and Nott, even when it was clear the broom was breaking up under them. Deciding he better get to it if he was going to read it, he looked at the darkening sky again and then popped the seal. Fingering the ornate letter Z on the wax before flipping it open.
'Rowle,
Sabrina asked me to write you and I'll admit that a letter you would read your first night back was a gift I hadn't looked for. Your witches are always providing me such welcome rewards, usually without thought as to my own satisfaction.
That is the point of course. That they are yours. Your sister is a gem but you know this. I'm sure the polish is somewhat unexpected but it's been a privilege to stand beside Hermione and watch her grow into her potential. Credit to you for her bone deep trust in your character and being someone she wants to make proud.
I have no concerns about your sister as regards your return. Mine though, I have several. I'm sure Rosier has said something by now and I'm sure Sabrina has too. Hermione is so sincere that you can't actually be concerned. Draco assures me that you are oversized but not stupid and so you must know that her integrity and honour are nearly the most important things to her.
To have her be my partner in business and life has been an unlooked for blessing. In all ways excepting magic and blood, she is my sister. Best friend certainly and I love her.
This is my advice to you. From a wizard who loves her and sees her to one that has the chance to know her. All of her. The witch and the woman. It is an enviable position.
Throw out whatever isn't between you and her. Give her the space to stand on her own but offer your arm. Pay attention to her and let her reciprocate. Reciprocate Rowle. She has given you much, give back to her. Touch her. Don't let her uncertainty and wish not to trap you fool you into thinking she isn't ready. The witch is beyond ready. I'm sure you don't need that kind of advice and won't appreciate it. I've trained myself not to think about her like that even in the abstract. Draco has a written list of things he wants to think about when it might not mean seeing her face tighten at a discomfort she can't control. Let her lose control with you. Demand it.
I had to pause just then and think about who I am writing this to and why. Why it's so important to me. Why I would write about someone whose trust is so important to me.
She deserves the best life possible. She's built it there. In your home and has saved her bed for you. Saved the suite at the Escape for you. Made space for you and if you want it, will love you.
My advice to you is to take it and lose yourself in her. She is enough for any wizard to spend a lifetime protecting and learning about. You will wish you had more time.
I'll try to pretend I didn't write this when I see you and I'd appreciate the same effort. We've got whiskey and brooms, business ventures and dancing lessons. It's all here mate and I hope we laugh about this one day. While we watch your kids and try to get her to have some fun or at least read in a different location.
Blaise