Lose yourself in her. Thorfinn wondered if the wizard knew what those words would do, Zabini couldn't have known the temptation it was. The letter was flicking through his mind in out of order snippets and her control over her magic was frustrating him too. He was having to continually pull his lin and it felt so good to let it reach for her.
His mind was full of questions. The bond had seemed an important one, the idea was more intoxicating than the whiskey he had earlier.
Feeling her like this was something totally new to him. Feeling anyone's magic like this and the feelings under the pull. The pull said it was totally right to feel so possessive, to want her to be his. The betrothal would have been enough. It was enough but that she was only his, would only ever be his, was so wound up in things that he couldn't separate the feelings.
He waited for her to tell him if she wished the magic between them wasn't there. It wasn't something he could answer easily either or he wasn't sure how to phrase it. The answer was unequivocally no. Not very much of him wished she wasn't his this way. That what she had done and the way she had done it meant everyone knew, knew that the witch was his and would be his. It was settling and it eliminated some of the insecurities he might have had otherwise. Sabrina had made it clear the witch had waited and Zabini made it clear in another light.
He was sorry for some of the effects though. Having spent so much time alone and thinking about her that now he wondered if she had been lonely too. Alone In a different way. It was hard to not let his mind drift to thoughts he had then and the ones he had now. About fisting her hair and hearing her whimper needily. The way she would smell and how she would look at him. So much of what he had seen was in her eyes. It was easier to picture emotions there and he didn't imagine he would want the lights off for a good long while.
"I don't know." Was her eventual response and he let his eyes meet hers. Keeping a right reign on his magic and waited, hoping she would speak. He wanted to know how she felt. Anything about just her.
Then he pulled his eyes away when his dick made its wants known and the magic pulled. Merlins fucking balls this was like some kind of twisted torture. The thought brought him back to himself with a bump and he watched her hands while he breathed and waited.
"I don't like the way it's pushing us. I've thought a lot about it though and there are some things. Fringe benefits." Her hand fluttered on the cushion and it felt relieving to watch some part of her, some part she could express herself with. He had a thought and felt stupid while he gestured her to go on with a hand and then waited.
"I didn't think much about doing it. I mean I read the legal papers but I wasn't processing very much. Sabrina helped a lot with that. Having her around and somewhat of a routine. I had to make things normal for her. My version of normal at least." That made sense. A lot had been happening and she had just come out of a war. He did let himself meet her eyes quickly, wanting her to know he wanted her to keep going.
"She was upset. It was hard to understand what she was upset about then. She didn't share as easily but she did tell me some. That's not important. What I mean is that there was some of me that felt relieved that the Rites meant I didn't have to try and be alone until you were getting out. I have friends and family but I don't have someone I've been trying things on with, didn't spend these years looking. I don't know what I would have done without Sin and her so it's irrelevant. It did help with legal matters too I think. You seen the prig today. Some are like that but they can't say much." He watched her small shoulders shrug and thought about what she had said.
"Those benefits are firmly in the fringe category witch." He answered quietly and she huffed a small laugh, he watched her hair bounce as she nodded.
"Do you regret it?" She asked quietly and he thought she was watching his hands too.
"No. I am sorry for the effects on you. I can't make myself be sorry for this though. The magics are crazy and that's interesting in it's own way too. Maybe one day I could tell you some of how it feels. To have had you wait for me. To know you will mine." Her whole body froze and he watched her hands tighten on the cushion and then she bit her bottom lip. Tightly, and he knew this was going to be so good. His body wanted it right now and his mind did too.
Not at her expense though. It was nearly impossible to watch her, look at her and know he was going to sink into her. The small sound he made brought her head up and he could see the awareness there. Her eyes were bright and her magic whispered against his. Fuck. He slammed his eyes closed and took a breath.
"Are we? I can't just." Her choppy cut off sentences made his own lack of control easier to accept. This witch was eloquent nearly always and that she couldn't be, it helped.
"That's up to you. I can leave. You tell me." Now he was looking at her, holding tight to the magic and himself. Trying to accept that this would happen without thinking about it happening now.
"What do you want?" Her eyes were closed as she asked the question and she seemed to be holding herself in control by willpower alone. It was hot, to have a witch want to climb you, especially after years of nothing. Years of knowing she would be it and not sure if she would even want him.
"To know this is okay and then to touch you." He tried to keep the gravel from his voice and any impatience but he thought he wasn't very successful when she shivered. Then her eyes opened and she stood up. Not intentionally he didn't think, he watched her eyes trace him and then she rubbed her thighs together and clenched her hands. His body throbbed and he wanted to press a hand between her legs and feel her warmth through the tight fabric. Trying not to think about her being wet and ready was taking most of his concentration.
"What happens tomorrow then?" Her voice was small and tight. He made himself look away from her and think about that.
"At some point we talk about the bonding and you explain what you didn't before. We will talk and eat. Maybe be able to look at each other." It sounded flippant but he meant it and she nodded at the floor and took a step backwards. He watched her sock feet and liked it, that she didn't have shoes on. Without thinking he toed his off and flexed his feet while he waited for her to answer him.
"Okay. Yes okay." Before he realised it, he was off the couch and took a step toward her. He did look at her face again, wanting to see if she was frightened or uneasy. Instead her eyes traced him and finally met his.
"Is there a bed?" He asked dumbly and she nodded. Seriously, as if it weren't a given in this part of the house.
"Yes. This way." She gestured to the middle door behind herself and he forced his eyes to look there. It was hard, the witch was like a magnet. Then he wanted to ask something and wasn't sure if he could but it wasn't something he could put off.
"Does it do anything about the pain?" He asked her quietly and watched her throat bob as she swallowed. Merlin, he wanted to lick her all over.
"I think so. I don't think it will hurt." She whispered and her eyes were on his. Gryffindor as she held his gaze and he could see some relief there. Like she wasn't sure he was going to put an end to her years of misery.
"Open the door Hermione." He said lowly when he was only a few feet from her and she nodded. Then backed herself against it and the door handle slipped before she got her hands on it and turned. She spun quickly, he watched her curls lift off her shoulders as she moved through the door and then he was maybe two steps behind her as she walked through two more rooms and into the master bedroom.
"The bathroom is through that one. I took what you said about showers to heart." The crack in her voice was like balm to his chafing body and emotions. Like she would cry if he decided to shower now that she knew he would touch her. The one at Josh's before they came here for dinner was fine until tomorrow. Maybe she would shower with him.
"Tomorrow." He forced the word out and watched her eyes slide closed. She was facing the bed but he could see her from the side. The shape of her and the way her eyes were scrunched tight.
"Can I touch you?" He didn't really think about asking that, just wanted permission. Her curls were maybe a foot away from him and he could smell her shampoo or whatever she put in her hair.
"Yes." It was a whisper and he moved so he could see her face.
She was pretty, always had been. Now though, he wondered if it were the magics or the thought that she was his, it was filling his mind. That face and the lines of her neck were his. What he would wake up to everyday. Her body would belong to him and no one else. No one else would ever touch her like this, or even see her like this, waiting to be touched. He would make sure she never wanted anyone to.
Slowly he reached a hand toward her face and her eyes opened and then she took the step toward him and pushed her cheek against his hand. He watched her eyes close and heard the low moan she made as their magics moved against each other and the pull of the Rites lessened. Touching her was more than fucking another witch had been. His magics were there too and his body seemed to know what would happen, knew that it was going to be something different.
"Touch me." He knew it was plea but instantly her hands were both on his chest and she gently spread her hands open and then smoothed them across his chest.
"Do you want me to be quiet?" She asked and he didn't hear anything but an actual question. Like she wasn't sure if she wanted to break the quiet feelings.
"No. Please talk to me. Eventually I will know what you like and what you don't. I'll know what you think but now I don't. Tell me." It was easy to speak so honestly with the magics around them and the knowledge in his mind and his magic that this witch was his, would be his wife sooner rather than later.
"Did your hand work?" The small voice didn't surprise him but her words did and he opened his eyes.
She looked as if she were concentrating. Her eyes were closed and her hands were tracing the tops of his shoulders. He gripped both sides of her waist and slowly pulled her flush against him, feeling her shorter height as she let her forehead rest against his chest. She came up to his collar bone and felt tiny under his hands.
"Yes witch. Did yours?" He breathed in her scent and felt like it couldn't hurt to think about it. Now that he could see her and smooth his hands over her waist and outer thighs.
"No. Not for a long time. I can't remember the last time I came with any feelings of relief. It's embarrassing but I want you to know why I think I can't stand up. It's so hard to feel you. My body is so sensitive and my skin." For a second he thought all the breath left him in a whoosh as she said relief. Then her quiet voice kept going and he could hear the pained tone to it. He put a finger under her chin and tilted her face up.
Her eyes opened and the golden facets were distracting but didn't cover the nearly desperate look in her eyes. She had never done this and her body had wanted to for years. He felt bad, really bad for a second. Then he kissed her. Gently. He wasn't sure he had ever kissed a witch so softly.
Her body nearly slumped. He had her waist and lifted her then. Clearly she had meant it, that she couldn't stand and he realised this would need to be him taking care of her. The witch was so capable that he hadn't really thought about it like this. In his mind they had always been equals in bed.
This wasn't that situation though and he kissed down the side of her neck as he walked toward the huge bed. It was all done in white and while it looked clean and comfortable, he didn't think it would stay. When she nipped the edge of his jaw, then rolled her hips against him, he knew this wouldn't be long and slow. Her low sound was so hot and the magics around them were moving more too.
Finally he reached the bed and decided they would raise this up. She was too low and so he gripped her waist then spun so he could be underneath her. He kept her lips on his while he situated himself against the headboard and let the witch writhe against him.
It was the closest thing to paradise he could imagine. Maybe they didn't know each other very well but that wasn't important. They were going to know each other as well as two people could. Magic and body. He knew some of her heart and that would be enough for now, for her to trust him right now.
He reached for the hem of her shirt and she nodded when his hands didn't move further.
"Take it off. Please." He did as she asked and cupped her gently while he explored her skin. Felt the soft texture against his lips and tried to let all of the feelings roll through him.
"I can't. Please." Her desperation was becoming clearer and he wasn't sure how to deal with this.
"Tell me what you need." Opening his eyes was hard and the picture she made was something else. Her chest was heaving and he could see the flush on her skin. Little marks from his teeth and he couldn't make out clearly any of how he felt except that he wanted her, wanted the clothes to be gone and to let her fuck herself on him. His witch. Her eyes cleared a bit and she sat back some. The movement slid her clothed pussy directly along his cock and then she froze. Her eyes opened further and he could see her trying not to do that again.
"You know how to do this right?" It was nearly panted and he loved her Gryffindor bravery right then. His body was so hard and tight but watching her meet his eyes and speak so directly to him was fucking hot. It boded well for the future. He wanted her to be open with him in here. Too many hours spent thinking about what he wanted, what he could settle for, what he might be able to push for. Now it was happening and he wanted to know all of her.
"Yes." He answered and she whimpered then. He pulled his magics a bit, trying to give her some thinking space or hoping she would speak. Tell him what she wanted, how she wanted him to do this. It was so important that he didn't want to fumble around and he didn't think he would be able to think when he could touch her.
He could feel the heat through their clothes and there was a wild look in her eyes that he thought wanted to run from this. The magic was overwhelming her and he liked it but didn't want her to regret anything either. It was complicated and so hard not to rock into her. He kept his hands on her hips and did his best to keep them still.
"I don't think we need to be any more ready." The quiet way she spoke and looked at him was calming. He felt less frantic as she acknowledged her readiness.
"I want you to agree while we can talk." He said bluntly and she looked understanding then.
"I consent. Will you, could you please?" Her eyes were like whiskey when the sun shone through the glass, he thought in the second he held himself still. As he let her words sink in and then he was pushing forward away from the pillows behind him.