When his weight toppled her over, she knew the words she had forced out were worth it. Admitting she couldn't do this had been right even if it had taken all of her courage.
His weight was on her as she felt his hand weave into her hair and cup the back of her head. Then she let herself kiss him back, let go of all the holds she had on herself and her magic. The release felt freeing in an unexpected way, more than that when it combined with the way his shirt felt against her exposed skin and the slight roughness of his cheeks when he nuzzled into her neck.
Then he was kissing down her chest and she obeyed the instruction that she touch him. His voice was so low and needy that she felt better about the small sounds she couldn't keep from making. The brush of his magic, instead of her shirt, on her skin was like silk against her. It didn't seem possible for her to want him to touch her anymore than she had but his magic felt amazing against her body and her core throbbed. She couldn't help wrapping a leg around his waist and pushing against him, feeling the restriction the material of her jeans had on her and not liking it.
The hand in her hair pulled her face away from his neck when he slid back up her body and she looked at him, braced on an elbow above her and she felt only relief when he held her eyes while their clothes vanished.
The magic surged and she wanted to weep with the feeling of finally being free of the magic. It wasn't pulling now but it was pushing and she felt the empty numbness between her legs fade. Her eyes closed at the feeling of the magic not blocking her. The Rites had been slow and subtle as it built but the sudden absence of it was enough to make her feel boneless and less frantic.
"I want to touch you but I don't want to make you wait." His quiet words were both enticing and comforting. His hot breath against her ear while he licked down her neck felt so good that she couldn't make her mouth work for a moment and a low moan came out.
"Another time." She could only gasp the words out as he gently pinched her nipple and rocked against her.
"You are so hot. So wet." Her body throbbed and softened at the words and more his tone, as if it were nearly unbearable and she hoped it was.
As he rolled them, she raised up on her knees and looked into his eyes, hoping it was what he wanted. That he wanted her like she wanted him. Even if she could, right now she wouldn't pick someone else for this. It felt so right to her and she thought the way his eyes and hands roved her body meant he did feel something like that.
"Fuck witch." He hissed when she wrapped a hand around his length and she tried not to think about it actually in her, just how much she wanted it. His muscles tensed and she watched his intense eyes as she felt his magic roll over hers. Her eyes closed in response and she rubbed against him without thinking about it. The slick wet slide against her clit was like an electric shock and she felt greedy now. It was all she could do to keep herself still when she felt him there. The head of him nestled against her and she paused, felt herself shaking some as she braced her weight and forced her eyes open.
"When you are ready. This is so." Thorfinn broke off and threw his head back into the pillows behind him when she let herself lower an inch.
Her eyes were closed now and the slow slide was nothing like she had imagined. She had tried to imagine it and this was so different. Then she felt it, maybe not a physical barrier but it was as if she would have to push down. The magic was whirling around them now and she wanted to watch but couldn't make her eyes open. Then his warm hands were on her waist and slid down to her hips. A slow rock of her hips, she slid further down him and moaned when her magic pulsed.
Then the impatience was back and she did open her eyes before she released herself from holding her weight up and let him fill her. It was tight and it didn't hurt but it was foreign and she watched his face until his eyes opened.
For a second their eyes met and she forgot the swirl of magic, could only see him and feel him. Then she felt the magic surge and couldn't keep still, she was moving and he was moving her. Rocking her on him, when she felt her clit slide along his skin she heard the sound she made and knew she wanted to move more than this.
"Help me." She breathed and pushed herself up. He helped, lifting her and she felt her body clench as he left her, nearly all the way. Then he let her settle back down and she felt relief. Yes. It felt so good and so right. As her body tightened, she felt as if she would burst, she heard him.
"Open your eyes." She did and then he pushed her down on him instead of letting her fall, she could only gasp and tremble. Again and again. Then she knew it was coming, she was going to cum and the tense look on his face was helping.
Just as she let herself tip her head back and felt her body tighten, the sharp hot pleasure began to roll through her. The magic surged again and this time she knew it was going to take her and it did.
For three years he had known this was going to happen. He was going to take this witch's virginity. Now he had and he didn't know if he could move. Her soft curves against him and her weight on him felt like gravity. It was easier to be here and in a soft bed, to accept it, because she was there too. He hadn't had even a day with the Rites and it felt like he was floating without the pull.
"Are you alright." He asked her and ran a hand up her naked back, feeling the cooling sweat and her breathing calming too.
"It's like nothing. I forgot how it feels, to just be me." Her stuttered words and uncertain tone told him it was alright to hold to hold her a bit tighter and so he did. Pressing her head gently to his chest and wrapping the other arm around her waist and opposite thigh.
As he felt her skin and thought about it, he knew he had made a mistake. Should have pushed for the bonding even if it was another day or however many of that, he didn't want her to be free. He wanted her to be aware of him and think about him. He was sure the Rites had helped with that. What she had said before about trying things on, she could now. He didn't really think she would but it wasn't a comfortable thought and those feelings made him uncomfortable too.
"My body feels so good." She mumbled into his skin and he grinned into the room. His magic felt shaky now and he regretted the loss of the easy way he had removed their clothes. He had no idea where his wand was and decided to ask.
"Can you dim the lights?" He asked and she nodded. Thorfinn watched her hold her hand up and the lights dimmed to something he could see in but didn't hurt his eyes. Then she flattened her palm and waited. His wand floated to her palm and then hers a second later. He watched her hold them for a second and then she wandlessly sent them toward the nightstand.
"Draco said it didn't take him long. It was more confidence than actual decrease of control." Her voice was tentative and he relaxed some at the words and her tone, that she wanted to talk to him and that she understood.
"Apparition?" He asked her, feeling her shift against him, then her head moved and she looked up at him. The witch really looked at him and he was relieved they could meet eyes like this now. Watching her face had been most of what he had before and it felt easier now, to be able to see her, have her meet his eyes directly as she did before.
"We did it Hogwarts style, in the ballroom. We danced, Blaise and I showed off until he lost his temper and demanded a turn. He did one to prove he could and then apparated me through three turns before we admitted he was as brilliant as he thought he was." The fond tone and enjoyment of the memory was clear in her voice and he smiled at the way they had gone about it.
"You dance a lot?" He asked her, wanting to know. It did seem like something she did with Zabini but surely she did it with other people too.
"Yes. I always enjoyed it but Blaise loves it, the steps and the mood of it. Even when he waltzed with Anastasia, seeing them tango will be incendiary." Her wistful and anticipatory tones were clear.
He waited, hoping for something else, wanting to hear her talk to him. They had had sex and he was grateful, the sated feeling of his body and the intimacy of now were foreign and it felt a bit like a dream. He didn't want it to stop, to separate from her and have to start somewhere else again.
It was prison or this so far and he preferred this to a table between them and a forty five minute time limit. Her body was relaxed and she seemed calm enough. The blush on her cheeks wasn't unexpected and her hair looked as if he had had his hands in it, which he had and the tiny bruises on her collarbone made him feel better too.
"I like getting lost in it. I dance with Harry and it's fun but he isn't as confident and feels silly doing it. Blaise or even Draco don't though. To them it's masculine to whirl a witch around and they like the control. I like it too, it feels so free and the other dances. Blaise taught me, usually in my pajamas and a pair of heels in the ballroom at the Dale. We would finish our meal after working and then he would ask me solemnly to dance with him. It was him who suggested my comfortable clothes, to make it fun and something I looked forward to. So I did and it is fun. Then he took me in France and we went mostly to muggle places. We've been lots of places now. Not many of them dance like that but some do and no one knew us there. We've danced here but save the really flashy things for other places." He listened to her speak and felt himself be jealous.
She had fun with these men. They had fun with her too and she released her control to them that way. He could also be grateful to them, for allowing her a safe way to be a woman. His thoughts felt profound and he wished he knew more than how to waltz, which he never had before. Then he met her eyes and could see she was waiting for an answer or comment.
"Teach me? I can waltz but nothing else." She smiled at him and he didn't like how relieved he felt. Things felt sort of out of control but also stable in a way he didn't understand.
"Yeah. You could lift me so high." Her thoughtful and serious tone got a genuine laugh out of him.
She sobered quickly though and he thought she would speak, not a trivial thing either. He couldn't see all the colours of her eyes in this light but the shapes her hair made and the pale colour of her skin.
"What happens now?" Was her question and he had no idea how to answer that but decided to stick with the immediate future.
"Right now? Can we sleep here?" He thought this a legitimate question and she nodded, no trace of sarcasm or anything else that told him she was just going along with him or placating him.
"Tomorrow?" She asked and he heard the uncertainty there now. She shifted, he thought she wanted the blankets, so reached for his wand and lamented his previous wandless skills. She stopped shifting when he didn't move his arm off of her back and the heavy duvet settled over them.
"Do you want to go back to France?" He asked her and she shrugged. He thought she frowned but wasn't sure, this was hard. Again he thought he should have bound her right to him, removed all of this aspect of decision making from the situation. They could have told Sabrina and Josh at breakfast and then dealt with whatever. Now she didn't know what to do and he didn't know either.
"Ask me witch." He ordered her softly and she stiffened, then turned her head so she was resting on his chest again. She could still see him but it felt better to him, like she felt better, and he snuggled into the blankets to wait for her to ask whatever had her biting her lip.
"Is it that you don't want to say what you want or that you don't know." The quiet question was surprising but a good one and he felt good about the fact that she wanted to know.
"Both. You?" He figured she would answer if he did and he was right.
"Same, I want to do what you want to. It's still warm there." It was offered as if she wasn't sure if he liked the sun.
"If we all go then that sounds good." He didn't like not knowing and heard it in his tone, the assertiveness and waited for her reaction. He couldn't take it back and didn't really want to but just didn't know how to talk to her or even what he wanted exactly.
"Sabrina wants to show you. We could talk about it at breakfast." Her words were simple but what they meant wasn't. Sabrina would be at breakfast, they would all be there and make the decision together.
"Do you have time too?" This question had just occurred to him. Maybe she had things going on. Sabrina said she had taken the rest of this week off but Hermione hadn't.
"Of course. I don't really have to do anything. Blaise can deal with all of that and Mac with the rest. Stolford doesn't actually need my opinions." She liked all of those people. The affectionate tone and easy way she talked about them told him the story. He thought she meant it too.
"Owls come and the elves too. Paperwork or whatever. Everyone knows and they have all assured me that whatever time I need is more than fine. They are also there if I need them in any way. Mac tittered and gestured at the piles of paper when he said he barely had enough to do and that I could stop by for tea. Stolford merely assured me at our last meeting that I needn't be concerned and then owled yesterday with the assurance he would handle everything." Her hand moved as she spoke and he wondered at this witch.
She spoke so easily of her life and the people in it, seemed to know he was interested and maybe understood he needed some reassurance. That wasn't comfortable but he did want her to accept it from him, whenever she actually needed it.
There hadn't been any shyness from her in the quiet minutes while the magic ebbed and they lay panting together. Her small hand had roved through the hair on his chest as she had laid boneless lay on him. Even now she didn't seem to mind the way they were laying together.
"Your friends?" He asked and she peeked up at him with a small smile, though it fell quickly.
"They all want to meet you, or see you if they know you. They won't come though, not right away but they will write. Owls will come in the morning and they will probably write to Blaise, so his will have to be answered promptly." That brought the letter to mind and he wondered about it, he wanted to tell her but wasn't sure why he did.
"So it's just us and letters for a couple days at least?" This was comforting. He didn't want an audience, not one that knew her so well, until he knew a bit more. Or felt more sure of whatever was between them without the Rites.
"Food too. You can fly and be in the sun." The way she said it made it clear this was something important and he hoped she would continue. So when she caught his eye, he raised a brow and she bit her lip.
"We talked about it, or I talked to Draco and even Flint when he asked if there was anything I wanted to know. Pucey doesn't seem as comfortable with me but Marcus has spoken to me several times with what I think is honesty. So when Sabrina asked me what you would need I had some answers. She decided the Escape had all the things in one place. It was calm and felt secure. You could easily go inside and outside. I've noticed we all spend a lot of time outside, as if we were all indoors for too long. Too many years of not being safe Andromeda says. If you want to stay here or go to the Dale then that's fine too." She meant it, he thought she did, and he thought Sabrina would be alright with wherever, if they were together.
"Take advantage of the time we are being given?" She nodded into his chest and he thought about that, feeling himself getting tired and not wanting to fall asleep. He picked up a curl and wound it around his finger. This was so different from now he had woken up that morning. It was better than anything he had dreamed up in there. The way she was naked with him was enough to put him in a fog. He wanted to know this would happen again.
"If we go there, or even stay here, can we sleep together tomorrow?" He could hear the rasp in his voice and waited. Eyes open, so he wouldn't succumb to sleep while he waited for her to answer.
"That sounds good." She mumbled into his skin and he felt his body react to her warm breath and the slide of her curls along his chest as she shifted some of her weight off of him. He let his hand slide along her leg instead of her hip so she could move and then tightened his grip so she would stay half on him like she was. When she didn't pull away or shift further, he let his eyes close and felt her breathe until he fell asleep.