Chapter eleven

Willow sat in the middle of her bedroom floor, dangling a crystal over a large map. Surrounded by numerous candles and sleeping Potentials. Dawn walked in and Willow jumped.

"Dawnie, hey, what's going on?"

"What are you doing? I thought we decided that you plus magic equaled a great big no, especially now that the First is getting antsy." Willow looked at the teenage girl guiltily.

"It's nothing big, just a locator spell. And I'm safe; I warded off any evil or malignant presences." The teenager's face softened as she realized what the Wicca was trying to do.

"Buffy?" Willow looked down at the map on her floor.

"Yeah, I just felt so bad about kicking her out earlier tonight and I just wanted to find her to make sure she was okay." Dawn crossed her arms over her chest, lowering her voice so as not to wake the sleeping Potentials and also, hopefully to mask the guilt in her tone.

"And, how is she?" Willow suddenly became engrossed in her map, refusing to look at Dawn.

"I can't find her." Dawn's voice went up, almost screaming.

"You what? What do you mean you can't find her?" Willow got to her feet quickly and went over to soothe the visibly distraught young girl.

"Dawn shh, you'll wake up the Potentials, let's go talk over here." Willow grabbed Dawn's elbow gently and steered her over into the hallway. There Dawn stood arms crossed, fury evident on her features. Willow paced for a moment, assembling her thoughts.

"Alright, you know how locator spells work, right?" At Dawn's small nod, the Witch continued,

"Okay, so when I tried doing it, it didn't work." Dawn interrupted Willow angrily.

"What do you mean it didn't work?"

"It didn't work. Instead of the crystal being attracted to her location, it didn't move anywhere"

"But that doesn't mean anything, maybe you did it wrong?" Willow shook her head remorsefully.

"I did it right Dawnie, she's gone." The brunette teenager could feel panic rising up inside of her. This was all her fault, if she hadn't kicked her out then maybe Buffy would still be here. All her life, the part created by the monks and the real part since then, Buffy had always protected her, made her feel safe and now, because of something she did, her sister was gone.

"Does that mean she's dead?" Willow was quick to reassure the distraught teen.

"No, if she was dead, the crystal would lead us to where . . . . . her body was. She's just missing."

"As in not in this dimension, missing?"

"Yeah" Dawn, shell shocked, leant against the wall for support.

"Look, Dawn, I'll find her, I mean I brought her back from the dead, I can do anything."

"Yeah, but look at how that turned out" Willow, slightly hurt, moved forwards to rest a hand on Dawn's shoulder, intending to comfort her but Dawn moved back quickly to avoid her. Willow looked at her, shocked. Dawn, unable to sort out all the thoughts in her mind and not particularly worried about Willow's feelings at the moment.

"Do what you can, we got her into this we should be able to get her out." Walking away from the surprised Wicca, Dawn walked into Buffy's bedroom. It was currently being used by Faith, in her new role as Head Slayer she had acquired all the lovely little perks Buffy used to enjoy. At the moment though, the room was empty, Faith probably gone on patrol and Dawn quickly crossed the room and crawled into the bed. She inhaled deeply, tasting her sister's sweet, cinnamon scent still in the air. Finally, all the thoughts and emotions that had been assaulting since Buffy had left, only a few hours before caught up with her and Dawn sobbed, the tears rolling down her cheeks.

Buffy stared at William from across the table, a small secret smile on her face. She allowed her foot to brush lightly against his and he looked up with a start. Once she felt his glacial eyes brush across her face, she lowered her eyes to her plate. She could practically feel him smiling at her. Her body thrilled as his foot brushed lightly against hers, but when she looked up, he was examining his chicken as if it was hiding a cache of diamonds, only the distinct reddening of his cheeks gave him away. It was December 28th, three days since Buffy and William had confessed their feelings for each other and all three of those days had been filled with uncertainty and secret meetings. William, ever the gentleman, had refused to do anything that challenged Buffy's virtue despite the clear wanting between them and Buffy was all but tearing her hair out about it. Now that they had finally spoken their piece, there seemed to be a bit of awkward energy between them. Buffy didn't regret telling him, she could never regret that. But Spike and now William, always seemed to know exactly how to get under her skin, annoy her to death but still manage to make her want him more than she ever wanted anything in her life. She loved him, she knew that in her heart but she didn't know what their future held. She had to let him become who he was supposed to be, had to let him be turned by Drusilla, had to let him turn into Spike, the merciless, murder Buffy knew so well and she knew doing it would break her heart in two, so she couldn't blame William completely for the awkwardness between them. Anne's voice broke through Buffy's fog of thoughts.

"William, I nearly forgot, Cecily Underwood is having a small New Year's Eve soiree and she invited you and Miss Anne." The red of William's cheek was quickly replaced by a ghastly pale that Buffy knew all to well from his Spike days. His knife and fork clattered to his plate.

"Pardon?" He choked out, attempting a futile effort to sound normal.

"Cecily Underwood is planning a New Year's Eve soiree"

"Yes, yes, I heard that but what do you mean, she's invited Miss Anne? She doesn't even know who she is." Anne chuckled weakly, the end of the chuckle trailing off into a weak cough. A flash of concern flitted across William's face but was quickly buried behind his odd curiosity.

"Oh, William, darling, do you honestly think that I would keep a treasure like this hidden?" For the first time since Buffy had arrived in this dimension, she found herself looking at a very angry William.

"Mother, dear." His words came out forced and deliberately sweet.

"Please tell me that you did not go bragging to your society friends about Miss Anne."

"Oh pumpkin, did you honestly think I wouldn't? We are extremely lucky to have a jewel like Miss Anne working for us, I couldn't very well not brag about her." William looked back to his plate, barely keeping his anger in.

"William, are you alright? You look a little green." William pushed back his chair and stood up abruptly.

"I'm fine, mother, I'm just not hungry, can I be excused?" Without waiting for an answer, William left the room. Anne shot Buffy a surprised look, this wasn't like meek, polite William.

"You go after him, he'll listen to you. He loves you after all" Buffy didn't have time to process Anne's comment before her worry for William overtook every other thought and she excused herself from the room. She found William just outside the dining room, leaning against the wall, with his head in his hands.

"William?" She said, laying her tiny hand on his shoulder. He jumped and she had to remind herself that human William couldn't process her Slayer speed like vampire Spike. She was shocked when she saw tears in his eyes. The last time she had seen him crying was when his newly-restored soul was driving him crazy and caused him to confess his sins to her in the church.

"William, what's the matter?" She gathered him into a hug and he folded into her chest, breathing heavily.

"I didn't want you to be exposed to them."

"Cecily?" Buffy was at a loss as to how to react to this suddenly emotional too-human William.

"All of them" William pulled back; angry flashing in his glacial blue eyes and Buffy realized that he wasn't crying out of sadness but unrestrained anger.

"They are animals, Anne, all of them, utter beasts. All they think about is how to make themselves look better and I know, I just know that they're going to hurt you and I don't want that, I never wanted that." Buffy reached out a hand and gently stroked William's shuddering shoulder.

"William, don't worry about me, I'm stronger then you think." She offered him a weak smile and he mirrored her action, wanting to please her despite his anger. He cocked his head and looked up at her through his eyelashes, the classic Spike look.

"I love you, Anne. That's the reason for all of this insanity, I love you." Buffy gathered him in another hug and kissed the top of his curly head. His actions were not what was accepted at the present age as normal, but Buffy had seen him a hell of a lot crazier and it made her realize that despite their differences, Spike and William were the same person.

"I know and don't worry, I'm a strong girl, and I can handle myself."