Cloud and Sephiroth are participating in an interview for a local newspaper. But they scare the reporter . . . Read on to find out why.
Reporter: Cloud, Sephiroth, I've heard that the two of you get along great behind-the-scenes. Is this true?
Sephiroth: Well, I always have to remind Cloud of who is stronger and who has the better weapon.
Cloud: Which would be me . . .
Sephiroth: Do we have to go through this again? Baka!
Reporter: Sorry, what was that last part, Sephiroth, sir?
Cloud: He likes to insult me in Japanese as often as possible. I believe he just called me an idiot . . .
Reporter: I guess that means the rumor isn't true. Well, what do you guys do in your spare time?
Sephiroth: I enjoy teaching my fighting skills to the younger generation.
Cloud: You mean showing off your shiny sword and armor and stupid broken wing . . .
Sephiroth: Damare!
Reporter: Now, calm down, you two.
Cloud: begins to cry He just . . . told me . . . t-to . . . shut up!
Sephiroth: He's such a weakling, just like always. They only make him look good in the games. Niyouji!
Cloud: Can I be excused, please? I have to . . . um . . .
Sephiroth: Like I said---he's a baby.
Cloud: At least my mother isn't an alien!
Sephiroth: Jenova isn't an alien. She's the true mother of the planet! Koukakurui!
Cloud: Did you just call me a shellfish?
Reporter: Okay, guys, you're making this difficult . . .
Cloud: points angrily at Sephiroth He killed my girlfriend!
Sephiroth: Well, you found a new one anyway! Zubon!
Cloud: Now he just called me "trousers"!
Sephiroth: I can call you whatever I want. At least my hair lies flat! Yours looks like your head got stuck in a vacuum!
Cloud: At least I'm not old and gray-haired like you!
Sephiroth: It's silver! My hair is silver! Ohimesama!
Cloud: Umm . . . why did you just call me a princess?
Reporter: All right, I think we'd better end this interview now . . .
Cloud: draws sword Now you're dead Sephiroth!
Sephiroth: draws masamune Oh, no . . . are you gonna . . . cut my hair? Haha! Bekkon!
Cloud: I am not bacon! You're a fuzzy slice of cheese wrapped in banana peels!
Sephiroth: What kind of comeback is that?
Cloud: A good one! Mattaku no baka!
Sephiroth: Hey, now that's a swear word! Kiyuuri!
Cloud: Do I look like a cucumber to you?
Sephiroth: strikes Cloud Take that!
Cloud: head falls off
Sephiroth: Oops . . .oh well . . .
Reporter: Guess that's it then. Well, I'm glad all our viewers could witness Cloud's death. But you can all buy Final Fantasy VII and let his memory live on forever! Cue the commercials!