Chapter Six

FentonWorks, April 20, 2006

After (once again), telling her life story to someone else who should have had at least a vague idea of it, Valerie was exhausted. Maddie was worse than her father, for she kept asking questions that seemed completely irrelevant. Over and over again.

"So you're saying my husband and I, we hunt ghosts? Because they run amuck throughout the city?"

"For the last time, yes!"

"And that Danny isn't half ghost? And . . . we wouldn't disown him if he was?" A small smile crept into Maddie's features.

Though Val was sick and tired of these questions, this was a new one. Her face softened. "Yes, Mrs. Fenton. Danny really is a wonderful person, and I think you knew that but . . . well . . ."

Damon was rather bored by the whole ordeal, but at this, he perked up. "If you want to take him back and reinstate his citizenship, we could always buy a replacement . . ." Valerie literally turned around and slapped him. Rubbing his cheek, he corrected, "Or we could always hire a replacement. I'm sure there are a few people around here willing to work as a housekeeper."

"That's better."

Maddie tilted her head. "Well . . . Vlad's half ghost, and he has rights . . . yeah, he bought himself but . . . I guess that would work. I'd have to talk to Jack, but . . ."

Valerie raised her hands. "Woah, woah, Vlad Masters is half ghost? And he bought himself?"

Maddie blinked. "Oh, of course dear, you don't know. Yes, Vlad's half ghost, and he bought himself. Why, do you know him, or something?"

"Well, other than the fact that he's the 1997 billionaire of the year, he kind of supplied all my original ghost-hunting gear . . ."

"Oh," was Maddie and Damon's in-unison reply.

"So . . . what about Danny?"

Biting her lip, Maddie glanced at the door Samantha and Jeremy had left through. "Again, I'll have to talk to Jack. But . . . well . . . after you told me how things should be, Valerie, I guess I kind of see the mistake I've made."

Valerie smiled. "That's great, Mrs. Fenton. We'll just go pick Danny up and you give your decision later."

"Okay. I hope I'll see you again, later."

"Of course. C'mon, Valerie," Damon replied for Val, leading her through the door. Jeremy was talking to Jack.

"Desi, of course, would never be tricked into something like that, Jack. She's a smart little thing, really."

Valerie coughed. Jack looked up. "What?" he asked.

"Where'd Sam . . . antha go?"

"The other room," Jeremy replied lazily before the fat man could answer.

"Thanks."

They walked through the next door, where Valerie saw something else she would never forget.

Danny Phantom and Samantha Manson, lip locked about three feet above the ground.

Damon turned around, and Valerie covered her eyes. "I will never be able to un-see this," she exclaimed.

Danny, just barely not dropping Samantha, whirled around in the air, as Sam's eyes widened. "Um . . . hi . . ." she said awkwardly.

"Great. My life is so going be a living heck for this," he mumbled. Then, biting his lip, he said, "Hey, she told me to do it, and well . . ."

Samantha growled. "I did not, you . . ."

If there was anything I learned while being in Paulina's circle, it was never to trust a prep if it involved a nerd . . . or in this case, a slave, getting in trouble, Valerie thought dryly. "Somehow, I don't believe a word of that."

Samantha smirked. "See?"

"I meant you."

Blinking. "Oh. What's with the sudden high-and-mighty attitude, Val? Is it, like, the new fad or something? 'Cuz Lina hasn't said anything."

She was high and mighty? And . . . Lina? "Erm . . . yeah, I guess. If being smart's the new all that."

Samantha nodded approvingly. "Nice. I'll be sure to start doing that." Then, turning to Phantom (blushing the entire time), "Could you let me down?"

Flushed as well, Phantom lowered himself, and Samantha, down to the ground. "Yeah, sorry."

Suddenly, the transformation rings swept up and down his body again, and there stood Danny Fenton, who was, quite literally, shaking. "I - I - I'm sorry . . . milady, milord, Miss Manson . . ."

Samantha rolled her eyes while the Grays looked on in worry. "It's okay, Danny," Valerie told him gently. "C'mon."

He obediently followed her out of the room. Valerie paid little mind to how the two previously lip-locked were blushing furiously. There always was some chemistry between those two . . . no matter how mind-boggling jealous she was.

Meanwhile . . .

(ordinary universe)

Class was long over - in fact, Valerie was sitting in 'her' apartment thinking everything over. "How am I supposed to get back?" she mumbled.

"Get back to where, sweetie?" Damon asked, coming into the kitchen.

Valerie blinked, and turned to face her father. "Oh, I . . . erm . . . left a library book in the copy room when Mr. Folupa asked me to copy something. We're not allowed in there."

Damon's eyes narrowed, catching his daughter's slightly nervous tone in an instant. "This doesn't have to do with your ghost hunting, does it?"

Valerie would've spit out the water she was drinking, had she been drinking any water. Lacking that, though, she raised her eyebrows and gaped. "Ghost hunting? Isn't that, like, animal abuse?"

Shaking his head, her father sighed. "I know you hate ghosts . . . but to refer to them as animals? Isn't that a bit . . . extreme?"

"Hypocrite," Valerie said to herself. Couldn't anything make sense here? It was all completely (for a sudden urge to be repetitive) insane. "Yeah, I guess." Best to agree and avoid suspicion.

"Valerie . . . I know I can't confiscate your suit anymore, but please, for your safety . . . give up the ghost hunting."

"I didn't know I ever started," she mumbled. "Fine," she replied.

Valerie watched as Damon stood, agape. "Wha . . . you actually agreed?"

Uh-oh. Maybe Weird World Valerie was a bit more adamant . . . But, she reasoned, keeping conversations between herself and other people (her 'father' in particular) simple was key to getting out of here in one piece. "Yeah."

He shook his head. "Pigs must be flying . . ." she heard him mumble. "Living pigs."

Valerie just shook her head.

When insane things happen, the best thing to do was to realize there could always be something crazier.