I deserve to be punished for writing this. Perhaps, you can come up with something sufficient. You know, other than the pain of knowing that I don't own Naruto (This also doubles as my disclaimer as it clearly states that I don't own Naruto).
Closet Case… or the Case of the Closet, which ever.
Part one: Ebisu's Closet.
Ebisu's closet was orderly. That was to say that it was organized, and clean, and it even had that new car smell (how he got that smell in there is another story all together). But at the bottom of Ebisu's closet, in a blue shoe box there was something that didn't quite belong.
Inside that blue shoebox, there were pictures, and not just any old pictures. These were secret pictures. They weren't all that risqué, nothing like the photos Jiraiya enjoyed, or the ones that could be found in Kakashi's porn collection, but they were dangerous in the sense that if anyone ever found out that he had them, he would be even more of a target for harassment than he was already.
If any one ever found out that he had stashed away photos of his long time crush in the bottom of his closet, he would be utterly humiliated! The entire population of Konoha, and quite possibly a few other villages would have license to tease him about his disturbingly fan-girlish behavior for the rest of his life. Even though his life expectancy as a ninja wasn't all that long, it would still be more than long enough to make him uncomfortable.
So, it was a good thing that nobody ever looked in his closet. It was an even better thing, that nobody suspected his fan-boy tendencies. It was the best that his infatuation with Ibiki remained his dirty little secret.
See? The chapters are short! Less pain for you all! Yay.