Title: Northern Star
Rating: K+
Pairing: Rose/ ten and nine
Summary: So many years by the Doctor's side Rose Tyler has learned a thing or two about love.
Disclaimers: Not mine, blah blah blah.
When one travels with a time lord the universe is practically yours for the taking. There are so many distant planets to explore, sights to be seen, memories to be made and knowledge to be acquired.
Unfortunately the latter comes with a great price, since it's born out of anger, pain, lost and all the emotions that are typically labeled a human weakness but are in fact a universal constant.
Sometimes talking to strangers could lead to the best thing in your life.
Rose looked over at the Doctor, she had only known him for a few weeks already but it seemed as if it had been so much longer.
There was something about those blue eyes of him that managed to convey so much warmth and trust. Enough for her to throw caution to the wind and take him up on his offer.
Her mum had told her repeatedly when she was younger to never go off with a stranger, no matter how nice they looked or the tempting things they promised.
Boy, had she listened, Rose thought to herself as a small smile formed on her ruby lips. But this had been different, the Doctor, tried as she might to see him as a stranger, just wasn't that to her.
The moment she had slipped her smaller hand into his calloused one she had felt it. The tugging of something far greater than her, beckoning her to trust him, follow him and stand by his side.
"Penny for your thoughts Rose Tyler" his northern voice suddenly broke her train of thoughts. Shaking her head a bit she returned his attention to the monitor in front of them.
"Oh nothing, I was just thinking of where to go next". She smiled up at him and was rewarded with one of his own.
"Fantastic! So, where to?" his eyebrows rose and his grin grew wider.
"How about somewhere with a sea, a sea that sings, does such a thing exist?"
His features soften a bit and his voice came out a bit smaller than before. "It does Rose, one of my favorite places in this whole universe. About time I shared it with someone special".
And there it was again, the tugging.
Perhaps her mum was right, but just this time Rose could say with all certainty that she had just met the exception.
You can love someone you've never met.
Rocking herself back and forth Rose cried as she had never cried before in her relatively short life. Feeling a large hand on her back she turned around and buried herself in his embrace.
Everything she had been holding in since she could remember was finally spilling forth. The pain, anger and grief for her father was finally being unleashed and washed away in a sea of tears.
Feeling the Doctor's arms tighten around her she was able to slowly calm herself and force her tears to stop. Her eyes felt heavy and sore as she looked up at him, expecting to find anger and disappointment but instead she was met with compassion and something else…she couldn't quite make it out, but whatever it was she knew it was reflected in her own gaze as well.
Yes, it was possible to love someone you've never met, just like it was possible to die for a future that you knew absolutely nothing about.
Being born millenniums apart, galaxies away from each other there was one constant bond that held them together – love.
"I love you" he whispered into her hair as he carried her sleeping figure in his arms. Gently placing her on his bed he pulled the covers over her and began to step back slowly.
Pausing at the doorway he took one last lingering look at her and was gone.
You can never really go back home, even if you finally get the coordinates rights.
Rose stood on the rooftop gazing at the city before her, the many city lights flickering in the night. Feeling the gentle summer breeze hit her she could hardly believe that at one point in her life she couldn't even fathom anything else beyond the city limits.
So much had changed in such a small time. She had traveled to the edge of the universe and back, met her father and watched him died on the very same day, almost been exterminated by the last Dalek….
But perhaps the most surprising thing of all was the fact that she had fallen in love with an alien who had captured her heart with a kind smile and a warm embrace. All this had filled her more than she could have ever hoped to of have ever been, no matter how many lifetimes she lived on this earth.
Making her way back down to the flat Rose watched as her mum and Mickey setting up the table for dinner. Smiling at them she moved to the side and slipped into her room where the Doctor lay on her bed.
Silently she watched him, it was a rare sight seeing the last mighty time lord sleeping since he hardly ever did – hardly ever needed it. Sometimes she wondered what else he didn't need.
Rose moved slowly to his side and kneeled next to the bed, sighing she ran her finger down the side of his cheek and over to his lips, stopping herself from touching them.
"You can you know" his voiced filled the silent room causing her to almost fall back in surprise.
"Oi you scared the living daylights out of me!" she whispered, faking annoyance, not wanting her mum and Mickey over here.
Still kneeling at his side the Doctor now turned over to look over at her. "You can kiss me if you want, I won't bite".
Rose could feel herself blushing and was sure he could tell, even in the darkness. The light from the open window hit his blue eyes, casting an almost eerie shine to them.
"Are you daft, come on, I was just waking you up for dinner" she tried to cover and regain her composure, lifting herself up from the floor but stopped by his strong hand on her shoulder. Sitting up on the bed he placed his hands on her waist and slowly they rose together, the light from the opened window shinning between them.
Staring into each others eyes they both began to slowly lean into the other. Rose could almost feel his lips on hers as they inched painfully close, the gap of light between them slowly disappearing.
"Rose! Doctor! Dinner" Jackie screeched from outside and they both quickly jumped apart, their heads swimming form the rush of it all.
Watching him move past her she turned around and saw him standing by the doorway, his hand stretched out, seeking hers. Taking it and lacing her fingers with his Rose felt an odd surge of giddiness flow through her as he brought her hand to his lips and kissed it, as a promise of something more to come.
Yes, try as she might, she could never go back home. Not as long as he existed, her heart belonged to him and her home was now by his side.
A new face and body does not equal the same heart and mind.
Rose observed from far away as the Doctor said goodbye to Sarah Jane. Watching the two old friends interact she couldn't deny that she was jealous. It was absurd and she knew it but the fact alone didn't make her feelings go away.
She didn't hate Sarah Jane and she hadn't stopped loving the Doctor, but she could also see that neither had Sarah Jane. It was a tough situation; her Doctor had been someone else of another time and face. Although deep down inside all incarnations where the same person….were they?
"Terribly confusing" Rose muttered to herself and began to walk away from the scene, retreating further into the forest. Sitting down upon the soft grass she tried to straighten out her thoughts, something she had been doing an awful lot of lately. Life wasn't as simple as before when she had first met him.
Things had happened, terrible heart breaking things she wished to block out of her memory forever but unfortunately she couldn't. Instead she was forced to relive them every time her eyes closed
His face, his smile, his touch, the one and only kiss with her Doctor and finally his final farewell to her.
"You were fantastic…and you know what, so was I".
Rose could feel tears starting to well up in her eyes. Yes, he had been fantastic, bloody fantastic! But he wasn't around anymore and she missed him so much it physically hurt sometimes.
"There you are" his voiced called out from behind her. Coming to her side the Doctor sat down next to her and inched closer. "I think its time for us to be heading off; I promised Mickey he'd get to choose the next destination."
"Then we should get moving Doctor" a light hearted tone came from within her as she began to swallow her pain once more. This was definitely not her Doctor; this was a new person she would have to get to know all over again.
The Doctor turned his face to the side towards hers. He gave her a slow smile and Rose began to feel a bit of hope within her.
Perhaps all wasn't lost.
Two hearts does not means that you can love two women at the same time
He was in love.
She used to be in love.
He didn't love her.
She didn't love him.
He moved on.
She never had…her heart still belonged to the tea pot ears, the goofy smile, the short hair, the northern accent and the comforting leather jacket.
That's why she understood his actions. He was a man in love and not so long ago she had also done the same in the name of love.
In the end that's what it was all about, loving someone so much that you would do anything to assure that they lived one more day and took one more breath.
Yes, she understood and forgave him.
Both now had something that united them, an impossible love.
Sometimes retaining hope means saying goodbye
So many years, so many adventures, so many closed calls, so many friends found and lost and finally…she was tired.
Rose couldn't quite recall the exact moment that she had finally decided that enough was enough, that it was her time to get off the rollercoaster that had been her life for the past ten years. But it had come and now she was ready to get off, thank the Doctor for the ride of a lifetime and quietly retreat into the humdrum existence she had written off so many years ago, on that London rooftop.
It hadn't been easy but neither had it been unexpected. She figured that deep down he must of have known. A friendship like theirs had grown to transcend love and together they had held each other up when the world seemed to be crashing down around them.
Her last night on the Tardis he came to her, sitting on her bed they both looked at each other…a ray of light between them, exactly like it had been so many years ago. But this time there was no tension, only electricity as he leaned forward and touched his lips to hers. Gently at first but then more hungrily as passion consumed him, his hands snaking around her waist and bringing her up against him. Pulling away they rested their foreheads against each others as they regained their breaths.
"I can't" she whispered into his ear as he held her even tighter than before, his grip staring to hurt the tiniest bit.
"I'm sorry Rose, I failed you"
"No! Don't you ever say such a thing, you hear me?" her tears began to slip down her face as she brought both her hands to his cheeks. Looking up at him she gave him a watery smile. She could easily stay, they could become lovers, have children, even do their own unique version of domestic, but in the end it wouldn't be them.
They were two crushed beings that relied on the other to get through but now she had to pull away, force them to stand on their own two feet. Only this way could their still be hope for them.
Rose Tyler had come a long way.
An end can also be a beginning.
Stepping outside of the police box Rose turned around and saw him standing by the open doors. Their gazes locked for what seemed like an eternity, both not exactly sure of how to let go, but it had to be done.
A small smile began to form on his face as he stepped away from the doors and walked up to her. Gathering her in his arms they both hugged tightly.
How do you say goodbye to the one person who's meant the world to you?
Rose didn't know, but she was sure it started with her gently extracting herself from his embrace.
"Goodbye Rose Tyler"
"Goodbye Doctor…." She looked him expectantly, wanting to know so badly.
Smiling at her he nodded, "Christopher".
Winking at her he retreated back into the Tardis but before shutting the doors he pointed up into the sky at one single star.
"Remember" he mouthed and with that he was gone forever.
A bit confused and overwhelmed Rose looked up at the sky once more, to where he had pointed – a single blue star that glowed so brightly…just like the eyes that haunted her dreams to no end.
Sighing she was about to make her way up to her mum's flat, give her the biggest surprise of her life but just as she did a voice made her stop dead in her tracks.
"Rose" just one word and she felt her heart ready to pop out of her chest…it couldn't be! Could it?
Not wanting to turn around she stood still her back to the voice that made her shake. Closing her eyes she felt his hands on her, so familiar yet so strange at the same time. They held her shoulders firmly and turned her to face him.
Immediately brown met blue and no words were ever necessary as his lips came down upon hers. His mouth was hot and demanding as he explored every inch of hers with an intensity she had never felt before. Wrapping her arms around his neck she deepened their kiss and found herself completely lost in something far greater than herself.
"Doctor" she cried breathlessly as they pulled apart.
"Christopher, just Christopher, yours forever". Lacing her fingers in his once more she felt like she was finally back home, where she belonged….by his side.
Yes, an end can also be a beginning and she wouldn't have changed a thing to get to this place and time. In the end, it had all been worth it, she thought to herself as she looked up at the star once more.
Thank you Doctor, you were a northern star.
FIN