A Farewell to the Innocent

By: halfinupriestess

Chapter 1: drafted

Summary: Kagome and InuYasha have yet to defeat Naraku when Kagome's grandfather is drafted into the army. Not wanting to lose her only grandfather, Kagome decides to go in his place. She leaves for war, only to return a year later, scarred by war and death. Will she ever be the same? Inu/Kag Semi AU (I made up world war 3!)

Disclaimer: InuYasha is the property of Rumiko Takahashi. I hold no claims to him or his friends.

Kagome is 18 and has been visiting the Sengoku Jidai for 3 years.

It had started like any other Christmas morning. Kagome had returned home from the feudal era the day before. She went caroling with her family and helped set up the Nativity scene in the living room before going to bed. They had woken up and had Egg Nog before opening Christmas presents. They had exchanged gifts happily and enjoyed each other's company while Souta played with his new toys. Kagome had fascinated and frightened them with her stories of the heroic InuYasha and their escapades in the Sengoku Jidai. They had watched the Rose parade on television and had a birthday cake for baby Jesus. It was the perfect Christmas day.

Until the soldier knocked on the door.

Kagome stared at her Gramps as the rest of the family did the same. He looked at the letter in his hands in disbelief.

"I've been drafted. I have two days to report to the Kyoto training center for a briefing on the assignment in Germany."

It was not a surprise to the family. World War 3 had been going on between Germany, Russia, China and Japan for about a year now. Various families had already had loved ones drafted. Eri's dad had left the day before. This had been expected. The patriarch of the household was always the one drafted. They would usually find someone to go in their place, but in this case, Kagome's father had died long ago. They all knew, however, that it would be certain death for the arthritis-ridden old man. Kagome knew what she had to do. She stood up and grabbed the letter.

To the man of the Higurashi family,

You have been drafted into the Japanese army for our crucial one-year operation in Berlin, Germany. You or another family member over the age of sixteen will report to our training center in Kyoto by the day of December 28th. Bring nothing but money, for luggage will not be needed. You will be given food rations, uniforms, and the necessities at the training camp and the camp in Berlin. There will be no outgoing or incoming mail. No Exceptions.

Tokyo Drafting Agency

Kagome looked her grandfather in the eye and spoke.

"I'm going."

It held no room for question. She would not be told otherwise. Her mother's eyes filled with tears and she stood up, facing her daughter that was now taller than she was. She panicked.

"No. You will not go! I will not lose you to war."

Kagome shook her head. This was a serious matter and there would be no "but mamas" coming from her. She stood up even straighter, if possible and replied.

"Yes. I have to go. Gramps will die and I am the strongest in the family. I know how to use weapons and I fight for my life every day I am in the Sengoku Jidai. I have to go. It is best for the family. As my mother, you should agree. You don't need to worry about me. I can defend myself."

Her mother knew that it was for the best, but could not let her baby just go to war. Her emotions were in turmoil, her mind in chaos. She had to choose: her father or her daughter?

"I need to go."

She looked into her daughter's eyes and knew she was right. She couldn't choose for her, either. Her baby was all grown up.

"I cannot just say yes, but I cannot say no. It is your decision. I cannot make it for you."

Kagome hugged her mother tightly and stepped back, facing the entire family.

"I'm going"

Her mother looked at her, clearly distressed.

"Are you sure?" She was holding on to the smallest shred of hope that her daughter would change her mind, but she knew she had a chance and Gramps didn't.

"Hai, mama. I'm sure. I have to do this."

The entire family, including Kagome, erupted in sobs. She had no choice. She had to go to save her grandfather, but in a small way, she knew she was doing this for herself. The rest of the day was spent with tears and long embraces. The Christmas feast was left untouched until dinner that night, when it was all heated in the microwave and only half-eaten. No one said a word. The last gift was left under the Christmas tree, still wrapped with its Christmas tag reading: To my beautiful Kagome, From Mom. She would not open it for a long time.

That night everyone kissed goodnight and went to bed silently, with a thick fog settling over their hearts as the whole family, in their separate beds, cried themselves to sleep that night.

The next morning, Kagome awoke to a warm body cuddled up against her. Her first thought was that it was Shippo, but that was impossible because she was in her own bed. Her front was wet in one spot, and she could not figure out why. She slowly opened her eyes to see who was sleeping next to her.

Souta.

Kagome sat up in bed to find his sleeping face tearstained and the wetness on her shirt to be tears. He was crying for her. She gently woke him, humming the song her mother used to sing in the mornings. He opened his eyes and began to cry again. She scooped him up into her arms and kissed his cheek.

"I love you, baby brother. I'm still here. Don't be sad, ok? I'll come back. I won't die. I am more stubborn than that! I have to be to deal with InuYasha all the time!"

Her joke did little to lighten her own mood, although her brother was greatly comforted.

"Thanks, sis. I love you too. I'm just going to miss you so much! If only I was old enough to go in Grandpa's place."

Kagome shook her head and hugged him tighter to her. "I'm glad your not old enough, Souta. I don't want you exposed to the things I've already been exposed to. I want you to stay my innocent baby brother. Your video games are violent enough."

Souta only looked up at her and smiled a little. "Still, I wish there was a way that I could help."

Kagome smiled at him. "You can help. You can take care of mom and keep Gramps out of trouble for me. If InuYasha comes to this time, treat him like a brother and score as many goals in soccer as you possibly can. Just don't be sad and try not to miss me too much."

He smiled widely. "Thanks, Sis. Love you."

She wiped his tears away and kissed his forehead.

"Love you too. Why don't you go help mom with breakfast? I'll be down in a minute."

He nodded silently and kissed her cheek before getting out of bed and somewhat sullenly leaving her room.

She sighed. InuYasha. Why did she have to think of him? Why? Of all the things to worry about. She had a train ride to Kyoto tonight at 5:15 and she was going to have to tell her friends in the Sengoku Jidai that she would have to leave. They still hadn't defeated Naraku, and InuYasha would be very angry with her for putting off the shard hunt. She hadn't even thought about the Jewel. She could only pray that InuYasha would understand. She got up and went about her morning routine, fighting the sad feeling that rose within her at the thought of this being the last time she would see her family for a year.

She was about to put on her school uniform, as she did every morning, when she stopped short. She couldn't wear THAT to sign in for WAR! She looked at it a moment before taking it and throwing it into the closet. Turning around, she saw another uniform on the floor, only this one was dirty. She looked at it a moment, suddenly remembering something InuYasha said about scent comforting demons. She grabbed it up and put it in her big yellow pack, along with other items that she touched often. Her hairbrush, favorite towel, toothbrush, and even some dirty socks went into the bag. She even took the sheets off her bed and stuffed them in the bag. She then looked in the mirror. She quickly stripped herself of her pajamas and threw them in the bag as well. She knew Shippo would miss her scent, and she hoped her scent wouldn't fade away too quickly.

She went to her closet. 'What do I wear?' she asked herself. She laughed dryly at the irony of it all. "What does one wear to war?" she said aloud. She opted for the raggediest jeans and a baggy t-shirt. She figured if she was given a uniform she would have to throw her own clothes away. She tried not to think of the future at the moment. She didn't want to go, but she had no choice. No one was going to stop her. She looked at herself in the mirror again and her gaze fell upon her hair. She remembered what they had said in school. All girls' hair must be cut to chin length. She sighed. She knew she would have to cut it sooner or later. She walked over to her desk before returning to the mirror. She wanted to close her eyes, but knew she couldn't. She merely watched in fascination and horror as her own hands held the scissors and chopped off lock after lock of her beautiful hair. They all fell to the floor in an ebony pool at her feet. Tears escaped her eyes. In her family a woman only cut off her hair when she feels she is no longer an innocent child. She looked at her hair on the floor and more tears fell from her eyes. This war, this evil thing truly was a farewell to the Innocent. She was no longer a child. She was going to war.

She bent over and picked up her hair and put some of it in a bag and placed it on her desk. Her mom would find it eventually and she hoped the little piece of herself would bring her mom comfort. She put the last of it in another bag and put it in her pocket. She had a nice sized bulge on her left side from it, though. She sighed and picked up the bag, taking one last look into her room and closing the door behind her.

She went down the stairs and went straight to the cupboard, cramming as much candy and ramen into the bag as possible, but not before kissing each item. Her mom looked at her rather strangely, before noticing the lack of hair on her daughter's back.

"Oh, Kagome." Her mom said before wrapping her in a warm embrace. She kissed her mom's cheek before grabbing her bag and opening the back door.

"Mom, I'll be home in a couple hours. I need to say goodbye to my friends in the feudal era."

Her mother nodded and she closed the door behind her.

Kagome landed at the bottom of the well and looked up at the blue sky. It was a beautiful day; no doubt InuYasha would want to start as soon as possible. Right on cue, his loud voice descended to her ears from the mouth of the well. She relished the sound of his smooth, yet hard tone. She would miss hearing it every day. She filed the sound in her memory, praying that she would someday hear it again.

"Oi, wench what took you so long? We have to go search for the shards if we are going to ever defeat Naraku!"

Kagome sighed. She prayed he wouldn't hate her for what she was about to do.

"Could you help me out of the well, please." Her own voice sounded foreign to her and she noted that it was hoarse. Probably from so much crying.

InuYasha jumped down in the well and picked her up carefully, landing on the soft grass and setting on her feet once again. He noted something was different about her. Her clothes were old and worn, her hair was cut to her chin and looked uncombed, and she seemed tired and her eyes were sad. Her pack was bulging, and although that was normal, it smelled more of her scent than usual.

"Kagome? What's going on?" He stepped toward her, concerned. She would not look him in the eye.

"Where are the others? I have something I have to tell you." She looked at the ground, still refusing to meet his gaze.

He was worried, but crouched down for her to climb onto his back and sped to Kaede's hut. It was only when they got there that he noticed her scent had become nervous, fearful, and sad. He could smell tears forming in her eyes and saw how she closed her eyes in an attempt to keep them at bay. What was wrong with her?

She entered the hut and tried her best to keep herself calm. It was difficult. How could she when she was getting ready to go off to war? How could she smile when she was about to go somewhere where the rule was kill or be killed? She did not want to kill. She wanted to save. Maybe they would let her be a nurse? Probably not. She did not even notice she had entered the hut or that everyone was staring at her until Miroku cleared his throat.

"Kagome-sama?" the monk asked, "What is it that you need to tell us?" He was looking at her with the same face as everyone else in the hut. They were all extremely concerned and they had a right to be. She took a deep breath before beginning.

"I have to go back to my era by four today…and I won't be returning for at least a year. I…may never be able to return." A tear slipped from her eye at everyone's heartbroken faces. Even InuYasha looked upset. "My Gramps has been drafted into the Japanese army, but he is too old to fight. I am the only one of my family who is strong enough and old enough to go. I'm sorry. I have to go to war in Germany and if I die…I won't be able to come back." She allowed her tears to flow from her eyes without trying to restrain them.

The hut was silent. Everyone sat in their various stages of shock before Shippo leapt into Kagome's arms and wailed.

"I don't want you to go! Please don't leave me Kagome!"

Kagome's tears mixed with his, but all she could do was tell him the truth. "I have to go, Shippo. I don't have a choice. If I don't go, my Gramps will die."

Sango embraced the two and joined in on the tears before looking for any sort of consolation. "But you will write to us, right? I mean, you could 'mail' letters form 'Jeermanee' and InuYasha could bring them through the well?"

Kagome's heart broke when she remembered what the notice had said about mail. She could offer her friend absolutely no consolation. "I'm sorry Sango, but the letter said that I wouldn't get to mail anything." This seemed to break her heart more.

Miroku embraced all three of them and allowed himself a tear before beginning a prayer for Kagome's safety. His words and blessings made Kagome's heart swell with gratitude before more tears escaped. She knew this blessing would keep her safe. She would not die. She was more stubborn than that. Besides, she had friends…and a love…to return home to. That in itself would keep her alive. When everyone released her, she picked up the bag that she had dropped at the entrance to the hut. She placed it beside Shippo.

"I remembered something InuYasha said about scents being comforting to demons, so I stuffed this bag with stuff that would hopefully have my scent all over it. There is some candy for you, Shippo, some granola bars for Miroku and some soaps for Sango. All the ramen is for InuYasha. I only hope my scent will not fade." She opened the bag carefully and handed them their gifts before handing it to Shippo. He hugged it to himself as best he could, considering his arms didn't even go halfway around the huge thing. She kissed him on the forehead before looking at her watch. It was three thirty and time for her to begin her last trek through the well. InuYasha had been silent so far and it not only confused her, but it scared her. She turned to everyone with a heavy heart. "It is time for me to leave."

Sango stepped forward and hugged Kagome.

"Kagome, you are going to war, which means you always need to have a backup weapon." She smiled and took of her wristband and laced it onto Kagome's right wrist. "I pray that you won't need it, but a blade is in it in case you do. It's a good blade. My father and I worked a long time to forge it ourselves. Good luck Kagome. I'll miss you. You're my best friend." Tears cascaded down Sango's cheeks and she hugged Kagome once more. Kagome returned the hug with gratitude before stepping back.

Miroku stepped forward and took her left hand in his. He reached into his kimono and pulled out a long blue string of prayer beads. He carefully wrapped it around her wrist and her hand. "These are the prayer beads my father wore to close his wind tunnel. They have been blessed by numerous mikos and monks, not to mention by myself." He smiled his charming smile. "I will miss you, Kagome-sama. I will be praying for your safe return." Kagome smiled and hugged the monk. "Thank you, Miroku."

Shippo jumped into her arms and reached into his own haori. He pulled out one of his tops and placed it in Kagome's hand. "This is my favorite toy. I hope you have fun playing with it in your free time during war. Please don't forget me, Kagome." He looked up at her with such sad, pleading eyes. She returned his gaze with tear-filled ones. "How could I forget you, Shippo? I love you, you know that. I will come back so don't worry." She kissed his forehead before placing him in Sango's arms. She looked Sango in the eye. "Take care of him for me while I'm gone." Sango understood the underlying message. If Kagome died, she was to look after him. She nodded.

Kaede stepped forward and smiled at Kagome. "I will be praying for ye, child." She handed Kagome a small charm that dangled on a string. She stuck it in her pocket and hugged the old woman. "Kagome, ye will return safe. Ye are strong and fight evil well. Worry not of the Shikon No Tama. We will hold the search for your return." Kagome smiled and embraced her a second time. "Thank you, Kaede."

Kirara hopped onto Kagome's shoulder and gave her a small kitty-kiss on the cheek. Kagome smiled and patted her head. "You too, Kirara? I'll miss you too." She smiled before letting Kirara hop to Miroku's shoulders. "I suppose I have to go now. Thank you for your gifts and your prayers. I love you all and…I hope I will see you again…in this life, or if not…the next." More tears escaped her eyes as she turned to the door. InuYasha was still standing there, silently, waiting for her. She stepped out of the door and he followed. She smiled a sad smile. He was walking her home one last time.

When they entered the forest she was surprised when he grasped her hand in his and entwined their fingers together. He had sensed that she needed comfort and had offered consolation. She could see he had needed it as well. She glanced at his face but he refused to look her in the eye. His grasp got a bit tighter on her hand, though.

They soon reached the clearing where the well stood and stopped beside it. It was only then that InuYasha would look her in the eye. She almost wished he hadn't. She felt so guilty that it was almost unbearable. Her heart constricted as she saw pain and loneliness reflected in his beautiful golden eyes. She had promised that she would never leave him. She had promised that she would stay by his side forever. Oh, how she wished she could keep that promise. More tears fell from her eyes as she stared into his. She saw what he felt. He felt abandoned, hurt, betrayed, lonely, and even a little bit angry. But what surprised her most was the love that overrode all other emotions. For once he was letting her see his heart. She felt like dirt. She was hurting everyone, but she was hurting him the most. But what choice did she have! What else could she do? The only thing she could think of was to let her Gramps go, but she couldn't do that. He would die.

"Why do you have to go, Kagome? Why not your mother?"

InuYasha's voice sounded so hurt, and that made Kagome feel like a criminal.

"My mother has my little brother to raise, and she is not as strong or able to heal as I am. I am the only one who can do this." Kagome's tears continued to fall and she squeezed his hand for comfort. "I'm sorry. I promised never to leave you. I promised to stay by your side even if it meant death for me, but…I can't let it mean death for my Gramps. I know you understand what it is like. I can only hope you will forgive me."

InuYasha nodded. "I understand. And I forgive you. You forgave me so many times." He looked her in the eye again. "Take this rosary off. Please."

Kagome looked at him, astonished. Did he really want to remove their bond? Did he want to forget her and make sure she could not come back? Her heart answered for her. No. He didn't. The love that shone in his eyes told her that much, but why would he want it off? There was only one way to find out. She stood on tiptoes and slowly pulled the rosary over his head. She hadn't wanted to do that. He released her hand and took the rosary from her, holding it lovingly as if looking at it for the first time. Then, she realized something. He was looking at it for the first time. He had never seen it because it had always been around his neck. He fingered the beads before looking at her. He stepped closer to her, their faces mere inches from each other. She watched as he slipped the rosary over her head. She smiled as she felt the cool beads against her skin. She knew what he was doing now. He was giving her their connection.

"When you come back, I fully expect this back on me and you to go back to your normal habits of sitting me to hell." He smiled warmly.

Kagome nodded. "Will do." She knew the weight of his words. It was not 'If she came back'. It was 'when she came back.' He had no doubts in her either. She felt the beads with her fingers and noticed something around his neck that she hadn't noticed before. She reached out her hand and grasped it. It was a small gold chain. He looked her in the eyes as she pulled it out from under his haori. She gasped at what she found. It was the locket she had given him before they had faced Kaguya. He had kept it. She smiled up at him.

"You kept the locket."

He nodded and grasped her hand. She saw him reach into his haori and pull out her bottle of jewel shards. He placed them in her hand.

"Promise me you will come back alive, even if you have to use these shards."

Kagome looked from the jewel shards to his face and back again. He was giving her the jewel shards. He wanted her to live, even if she had to use them to survive.

"Thank you, InuYasha." It was then that she remembered the hair in her pocket. It was her family's symbol of innocence. Even if he never understood, she wanted to give it to him. She put the bottle of shards around her neck along with the rosary and put her hand inside her pocket to bring out the bag of hair. He looked at her strangely as she took his hand and placed the bag in it.

"InuYasha, in my family a girl only cuts off her long hair when she feels she is no longer an innocent little girl. I am going to war and am no longer innocent. I will have to fight for my life and for my country, not to mention I will have to…kill…. people." She had a hard time saying that. "I'm giving you the symbol of my innocence. I hope you someday understand the significance of it." He nodded.

She looked at her watch. Damn. 3:59. She had to go so that she could be on time for the train. She looked InuYasha in the eyes again. "I have to leave," she said with a tear, "I don't want to leave you, but I have no choice. I'll miss you." She grabbed his hand for comfort and he squeezed hers. He helped her into the well for the last time and still held her hand. They both closed their eyes as he let his grip loosen and she began to slip. She heard him whisper as he let go. She would keep his words in her heart forever.

"I'll wait for you."

She opened her eyes long enough to see a tear slip from his closed eyes before she was sucked into the time void and 500 years into the future.