Hermione's POV
About when she and Cynthia had left the lakeshore she had felt it. The One magic was to their north and little to the west, Adrian. Though the name was fitting with what it had turned out to be, she thought she should probably call it who and what it was. Her emotions had been a yo-yo today and just as she had relaxed into speaking with his mother, she just as easily had slipped back into nervousness. The moment was almost here and she still didn't know what to say. That wasn't going to stop her of course. Listening to his mother, she felt sure that even if it was overwhelming, it was also right.
Suddenly she realised these were not all her emotions. Some of the unease and fear were coming from him. In response, she took a few steps slightly faster, then began to jog. Rounding the corner she was surprised to see his back to her. Just as she had known where he was, he knew she was ten feet behind him. Puzzled, she waited a moment, wanting him to take whatever time he needed.
"I can not begin to tell you how this feels, after all this time, to have you run towards me. Knowing that you know about the bond, and that it is me you are feeling. I felt you move faster, and knew I was going to run to you if I could see you. It's important to me that whatever happens, anything that happens, it's your choice. Just know it's not that I don't want to see you." Hermione felt herself flush at his words and the gravel in his usually smooth tones.
"Have you always known?" Hermione asked the question because it was the least pathetic thing she could think of to say. Slowly she took a step closer, then another.
"Known there was something about you? Yes, from the first time I saw you. It seemed ridiculous to think I could have a potential bond, they are rare. About six months later I was sure. Knew that you would grow up into my everything." Three more steps. Only an arm's reach away she stopped. If he could say those words, be so vulnerable, then so could she, by taking a chance. It helped significantly that she could feel some of what he was feeling, trusted that the hope and anxiety she felt from the magic was real.
Maybe he knew her hand was reaching for him, or maybe he just realised it was time to turn around. Regardless, the movement was perfect, her hand gently coming to rest on the left side of his chest. Over the heart she could feel racing under her palm. It changed how everything felt, knowing what was going on. She wasn't sure why it felt so different.
"Why does it feel so different?" He closed his eyes at her words. He had just been staring into her eyes. There was so much feeling in them and the solemn look on his face.
"What I can feel that is different is your acknowledgement. You are aware of what is going on and participating. It feels so good. I didn't know that you would feel so different. Maybe that's a good thing, I would have wanted this much sooner, and I knew you weren't ready."
"That makes sense, you feel different to me too. Less of a pull to you, but I want to be here. It's me not the magic. This is so much. There is so much I want to say, before I just don't say it." This time is was her that closed her eyes, unable to deal with the multitude of feelings and thoughts. This wizard was hers, would be her lifemate, her best chance at a full future. Suddenly thinking of how he had always felt that way, known that she was his future. She couldn't help from wrapping her arms around his waist and burying her face into his chest.
"I'm so sorry. I didn't know but it must have been so hard. I was terrible at school. Thinking of what I was doing with my magics and the bond, just, I'm so sorry." Finally she broke off. Unable to continue. Feeling suddenly drained and stretched so thin. As if with touching him, and the feelings it evoked, the rubber band in her released most of its tension.
"Shhh. It's okay. It's alright. You didn't know and I couldn't tell you and then, well, things are different now. We can move on from here. This can be the first day, I want a first day." With those words, they were enough, he just held her to him firmly and let her begin to calm down. Releasing her slowly he picked her up bridal style and walked the short distance to the fanciful tree bench he had mentioned in one of his letters. Gently, he set her down and sat beside her. It was a. Ew thing for her to be touched to deliberately, carefully.
For minutes Hermione sat there, staring at his hands holding her left one. It felt a bit as he had said, like this was the beginning and she wanted that too. A first day. It wouldn't be a good idea, she was certain, not to speak of what had been happening with both of them and how they are now. Idly, she wondered if the certainty was the bond or just her. It scarcely mattered in cases like this. Keeping her hand in his she turned, crossing her legs so she could be looking at his face. It was distracting, as always, but she needed to be able to see as well as feel. That had been in his letter and she found herself in complete agreement. He arranged himself comfortably facing her in return and she couldn't help but smile at him. This was really happening, could happen anyway.
"Please know that my apology was sincere, I really mean it. I didn't understand what was going on. At first, after the ball, I was so relieved. I needed so Different badly to talk to someone outside of my circle. I did talk to Sirius, as I'm sure you know. If you'd like I'll tell you what you don't know about that, he said you would know more than I would have thought possible. I talked to him about Dumbledore and the problems I see. We didn't come to any conclusions, but he is thinking a bit differently now, and doesn't think I'm totally crazy. That's good and scary. Can we talk about that later?" Hermione couldn't believe how natural it felt to be talking to him. At his nod and smile she continued.
"So at school I started to feel more and more pull from the One, that's what I called it. I didn't know it was the bond, it was just the most frequent and strongest outside magic. After a while, I just named it, and accepted it as something magical that felt different but relevant to me. It got stronger, maybe because we were communicating some, and I got nervous. Then I was terrified. I started panicking about Harry and I felt really exhausted by it. It took so much effort to stop it from affecting me that I was desperate." Her words stopped. There wasn't a way for her to convey any more than that, but the look on his face told her that he knew.
"If this is what you want, not just the bond, then I am willing to give it a chance." Those were the words she had agonized over, but in the moment it hadn't mattered, they had just come out. She let out a squeak as she was snatched off her bottom and sat across his lap. Her head was being cradled against his shoulder and he was breathing heavily. Even with his agitation, she knew it wasn't bad, this was one of the best moments in her life so far. There was no way that something could make her magic sing like this, and be anything other than what was best for her.
Adrian POV
Holding her tight to his chest and feeling her weight on him was all that was stopping him from kissing her senseless. If it was what he wanted? Never had he wanted anything so much in his life. The change between last week, yesterday, and right now was immeasurable. Last week he had thought it really could have been broken somehow, that something was fundamentally damaged and it was hopeless. The girl that had grown into his very own dream was lost to him, right in front of his eyes. Yesterday, he had been filled with a desperate hope that whatever had been wrong could be fixed. Gone over and over in his mind the words he could say to match the feelings. Even thought about how he could convince her to at least try letting the bond open, giving it a chance, giving them a chance.
Right now, he felt like he could burst with the amount of feelings rushing through him. The bond felt amazing, so good and clean. Full of her and him, them. It had always been a separate entity from him and from her. Now he could feel it becoming made partially of them. Not once had he let himself imagine what would happen if she came around the corner open to him. Allowing him to see her and feel her. She was anxious and nervous, but he could also feel the hope and even some excitement. When her steps sped up and there was more anticipation he had to turn around and clench his fists into his pockets.
His Hermione was coming towards him willingly, by her choice she was running to him. It was almost scary how much he was feeling and how intense it was. Maybe it was because he had been trying to hold back as long as he had known, and her acceptance was so much better than anything else he had imagined.
"I dream of you, always have. One of my favourites, that doesn't involve nakedness is something like this. There are kids voices in the background and you are leaning against me, telling me how wonderful your life has been and how it just keeps getting better. I feel almost like that now." He could feel her interest, and her flash of embarrassment, as he smiled into her hair.
"Really?" Her voice sounded small and a bit disbelieving.
"Yes." He let all of his conviction leak into his voice. Not willing to have her doubt him about the bond or his own feelings. Maybe they should speak about them now and other things later.
"Would you like to talk about us now? For a bit before other things. We will have to make some decisions today." He was sure she could hear the question in his tone, feel his tentative emotions. It was far easier not to try and limit what she could feel. Before it had been because he didn't want her to know and then it had been her fear. Something else occurred to him then, he would somehow have to make sure that she knew he could feel some of her emotions, lust especially. He didn't want her to be angry or hurt if he let that happen without her knowing.
"Alright." So many things swirled down the bond that he just accepted the general tenor of her anxious hope, and tried to remain as calm as he could. What to say or how to phrase any of this.
"I don't know much about muggles and their customs." He began and she scoffed lightly. Not seeming angry at all.
"That's usual for magicals." Her tone told him she didn't expect much more from them and he winced internally. She was right. Until her, he had very little interest or thought for the way muggles lived generally. She must have felt something from him because she leaned back slightly more against him and spoke.
"It's alright. We don't have anything like this of course. It's a bit overwhelming. Knowing that we could live a whole life together. I feel stupid even saying it." He relished the open flow of her emotions and her bravery in speaking so honestly.
"It isn't stupid. Not at all. If you want, we don't have to speak about it now. It's important though, to me, that you understand or can at least accept that I will always be looking at it from that angle. Never just now Hermione. You will always be this important. More so as the bond grows and we become closer." He let his certainty out and she stiffened slightly against him.
"I don't know what to think about that, how to feel about something so life altering." He just waited. Not allowing himself to panic and trying to see it from her perspective. Days ago, she hadn't known. Hadn't spent years thinking about it. Picturing them together, with her in his home, his bed. The portrait frames on the walls and hearing her laughter. Finding her curled up in his family library.
"That's fine for now. You are here, and open to me, that's more than I dared hope for even yesterday." He felt her relax and then her golden eyes found his.
"Is it. Can you feel me?" Her face was pink and he could feel her embarrassment. It was one that didn't upset him though.
"Yes. Not in the way I think you mean though. Right this second anyway." She scanned his face and he watched her bite her lower lip. The flash of lust that action always brought on widened her eyes and she was nearly a red colour now. He decided that something would have to be said about this.
"Hermione. I want to kiss you, more than that when we are ready. Whatever you think you might have felt is a shadow of how I actually feel about you. I don't want to scare you, but I don't want you to doubt this either." He maintained eye contact, her colour lessened slowly and he watched her gaze drop to his lips. He let out a sound then. Kind of a choking one and for a fleeting second he was glad no one else had heard it.
"I thought, but it's just. I'm just me." She sounded forlorn and he tried not to be angry at her dismissal of herself. Forcing himself not to be side tracked by her looking at him like she wanted to kiss him, he thought about that. Hadn't considered that she felt inadequate, he did in some ways but not this one. Even though he had kissed precisely two girls and neither more than once, he didn't doubt they would be good together. Better than. Sometimes he couldn't wait, or felt like he would explode with wanting her while he waited. This year had been far worse. She was growing up and as her body and mind matured the bond knew it. Let him think about her differently and there was little of the girl left in her. A young woman, his.
"I'll try and show you. The open connection has only happened once, where I could see your thoughts or something of them. Close your eyes." She did as he asked and he could feel her uncertainty rise.
Pressing his nose into her curls, he thought about her. How she had looked at the ball and how he had really felt while speaking to her. He felt her body stiffen at the first image he thought went through clearly and then she relaxed against him and it was easier. She was cooperating now. Trying to see.
Then his favourite fantasy of her above him, only her curtain of hair around them and the way he felt when he thought about her opening her lips for him. She shifted and he felt the pulse of want down the bond. Not too much of this then. He didn't want to rush this, not now that he thought they might have time. Doing it right, as she was ready, was his only choice if he wanted no regrets from her.
The wiggle she gave when he pushed the shower memory at her was delicious torture. He was hard under her and the way her ass shifted on him made many things try and crowd his mind. Letting himself tighten his arms around her to hold her still, he kept the memory rolling and decided the view of his hand bringing himself off would have to be brief. Her thoughts though, those he let her see and tried to show her how amazing it had felt. When she whimpered as he came and then she did, he could only breathe as slowly as possible and wait. For her reaction to the whole thing. That he knew and that now she did too.
Maybe it would scare her, his physical want of her.
"Nothing will happen that you don't want. When you want it and not before. I don't want you to be frightened of me or embarrassed. It was amazing. Knowing you were thinking about me. You would be blushing for days if you knew how often I think of you. That way." The prominent emotion was embarrassment but the shame had lessened and then he couldn't feel it at all.
"Did you know because I was thinking about you specifically?" She asked. He admired her ability to ask questions even though she was not feeling sure of herself at all.
"Mmm. Because the bond had opened too. Or you would have known long ago." His tone was wry and he felt some of her discomfort recede. After a minute, he loosened his hold and let her turn her head. Then tried not to grab onto her when she lifted herself off of his lap. Not liking the distance. She would know that though and sure enough her eyes met his. Turning around, she gave him a look he read as a question and nodded. Whatever she wanted was fine with him. As long as it was him.
The blush rose in her cheeks again and he couldn't help the grin, though he kept it small. Her eyes were steady though as she rested her hands on his shoulder, and then climbed into his lap. When her legs closed around him and her hands slid down and around so she was pressed against him completely, her head on his shoulder, he breathed out once. Then again. Trying not to let too much down the bond but also not close it, she was being brave. Gryffindor through and through.
"It's so good. Am I letting enough through?" Her question caught him off guard. Her tone was slightly disbelieving and he tried not to think about his own magic or bodies reaction, only hers.
"Open it more." He nearly begged her and when it was suddenly far greater he moaned lowly. His hands wrapped around her tiny waist and he couldn't help but speak. It was that or touch her.
"Is that what you feel Hermione? Merlin. It's so hard not to touch you. Kiss you. That you want me. Are aware of me like that. I'm sorry, but it's just so good. Just dreaming about you was enough, but this, I want to kiss you. I won't want to stop though." Her silence might have been enough to break him out of the mental haze, if her emotions had matched the tense feeling of her body. They didn't. He relaxed his control a bit and let his want through. The witch whimpered quietly and then was completely flush against him. Her legs and arms having tightened. A low breathy moan came next and he froze.
"Could we kiss?" Her voice was breathless and hopeful. He thought about that. Kissing her.
"I want to kiss you." She put in with more certainty. She pulled back and met his eyes. Want and determination. He couldn't help but smile at her. Later on, after she was gone, he could think about all this again. Play it over again. It was comforting, to know that he wouldn't go further than they both wanted. If the bond was open enough then he would know as soon as she wasn't comfortable. That wouldn't happen out here, he didn't think. The tenor of her emotions was not apprehensive at all.
"Kiss me." Maybe if he had thought it out then maybe he would have expected a more tentative start. Some fumbling or uncertainty of where to touch her, or how much to let show. Now though. Her lips met his and opened easily. Her tongue was smooth and slid against the tip of his. Their hands moved and he could feel her small cool one wrap around the back of his neck as his pressed into her lower back.
Wonder. Hers, or his, or both, was all he noticed from the bond as their lips moved against each other. One little hand was on his cheek and the other braced against his chest. One of his was on her waist and the other threaded into her curls. The first needy sound she made came when he wrapped a hand into her curls, fisting it and he broke the kiss and moaned lowly. This was enough for now.