Part 11

She broke the rules and like always she was going to pay for it.

This was her first thought upon waking in the eerie half-light of dawn and finding the other side of her bed cold and empty. Her body was still sated, but her heart was sore.

Last night had been amazing. But this morning, with him gone, she was only more certain that last night was a goodbye, or, at the least, the beginning of the end. His way of connecting to her one last time before he made the inevitable break that they both had agreed would come. Was he tired of her? No, he had said he couldn't get enough of her, at least physically. He wouldn't have lied. Was he afraid of his own feelings or desires? Was there more to what he felt for her than simple caring between friends and colleagues? Or had he simply sussed out her feelings and decided to put distance between them in hopes they'd go away?

She clutched her quilt more tightly around herself. Was she over thinking again? A short, sharp bark of what sounded like laughter echoed through the room. Out loud she told herself, "If you have to ask that question Robin, then yes you're over thinking."

She closed her eyes and tried to drift back to sleep. She wasn't due at the hospital for another two hours. The hospital, her eyes popped open again. Sighing heavily she pushed the blankets back and sat up. She knew there was no way sleep would come. Today was the day Patrick would operate on Nancy Dixon. Robin knew the feeling of foreboding that was settled in her gut all too well. How she hoped she was wrong. Could Patrick handle losing this patient like Noah had lost Patrick's mother?

"She's gone, Patrick. Call it," Robin said firmly over the beep of the machines. They had been working for interminable minutes to revive Nancy Dixon, but she, they all, knew it was no use. She was gone.

Patrick's hands dropped and Epiphany took the used instruments from his hands as he looked at Robin, their dark eyes locked. Robin nodded slightly and Patrick's eyes went to the clock and he did what the job called for next. He stepped back as the nurses covered the patient, he watched, but Robin could tell that it wasn't the woman before him that he saw.

Robin made her way over to him and silently guided him out of the O.R. She took off her gloves and had moved in to help Patrick with his when the outer door to the scrub room opened. She felt Patrick flinch and turned around and saw Noah standing just inside the doorway.

"I'll leave you two alone," Robin murmured and stepped back.

"No, you should stay for this." Patrick held onto Robin's wrist. "Come to tell me how reckless I was, how I deserved to lose this patient? How you could have done better?"

"No, Patrick, I…"

"You know what, Dad, save it. I have a family to tell they lost their wife and mother. That's what a doctor is supposed to do!" He tossed his gloves and gown into the bin and stormed out.

Robin rubbed her nose and looked at Noah sympathetically.

"I didn't come here to do what he said." He looked up at Robin, his eyes watery and pained. "I came to…he'll never accept it. Not now."

"Just keep trying, Noah." Robin touched his arm before walking out.

Patrick sat on the bench in front of the lockers, Robin stood a few feet away looking down at him. Patrick's eyes were red and it was clear that he had hastily tried to hide that he had been crying when Robin had walked in, but tell-tale tear tracks streaked his cheeks.

She had watched this man tell the Dixon family that Nancy was gone. She had watched him kneel down and offer his apologies and sympathies to the little son. She had felt the pain emanating from him and knew that she was hearing the words that Patrick had wanted to hear when his own mother died. She had seen Noah watching and listening and seen the older man almost physically stagger at the sight before them. Patrick's voice had been rough with swallowed tears through his discourse and when he stood up and looked at his father his eyes held a plea. Noah had clearly been frozen with emotion, but Patrick had obviously taken it as another rejection and stalked off.

"Patrick, are you all right?" Robin was about to put her hand on his shoulder when the door opened behind her.

"Dr. Scorpio, there's an emergency call for you on line two." Robin turned to find a nurse sticking her head inside the doorway to announce.

"Thank you." Robin just looked at Patrick who stood up at the interruption and opened his locker and began changing. Frowning, Robin went to pick up the call.

"This is Dr. Scorpio. Oh, hi Uncle Sean." Robin listened for a moment. "What else did you find out?" Another pause. "I'll let you know what I decide, thanks, Uncle Sean." She turned around to find Patrick watching her, his button-down shirt hanging open on his muscled frame.

"What did he say? Were those calls from your father?" he asked.

"Yeah, at least they were from the Markham Islands," she said quietly, her fingers curled in front of her lips. She watched as he continued to dress.

"It's good that he's calling," Patrick said, watching her intently.

Robin shrugged, but didn't share with him the rest of the information she'd been given.

"Do you want to talk about…" Patrick began.

Robin turned away without answering, struggling with what to do, what to say.

"I'm going to go home. Have a good night." Patrick ducked his head, looked at her one more time, his eyes sad, and then walked out.

Robin's jaw dropped as she watched him go out. She put her hands on her hips and turned around, blinked hard and shook her head.

It had dawned on her as she watched Patrick prepare for surgery today that last night was not so much about her as it was about his mother's death. She wondered when he first looked into Nancy Dixon's case and how much everything in recent days arose from that and whether any of it have to do with how he felt about her. Did he feel anything at all? She rubbed her forehead and sighed. She was overthinking again. Overthinking instead of communicating. Just then, she heard the door open behind her and eagerly turned around, thinking it was Patrick returning.

Instead it was Lulu Spencer with a determined tilt to her chin and a challenge in her eyes.